The Tour Life Of Adriana Perry
Don't Give Up
Inside the club, I was forgetting everything I ever thought. The bass from the music running through my body, the alcohol coursing through my veins, I felt alive once again. Right now, I was trying to focus on Ben who was sitting next to Frances probably whispering sweet things in her ear trying to get into her pants. I wasn't jealous, but I knew of his antics and I didn't want her getting hurt. I spotted his hand going further up his thigh.
“Bruce, smoke time!” I yelled over to him. His snapped towards me, with a glare on his face. I shook my head and motioned him to follow me outside. We made our way through the crowd. I spotted my uncles up at the bar, they spotted me. I did some hand movements telling them I was going for a smoke. The cool breeze hit as soon as we opened the door. It made a change to the heat inside. Pulling out two smokes, I passed one to Ben, lighting mine and talking.
“She's beautiful isn't she?” I knew he would know what I was talking, he nodded inhaling deep. “She's out of bounds to you, to any of you.”
“You're not her mother.”
“Believe me, if she was here she would beat your ass to the ground. Stay away from her Ben, I mean it. If you go near her, I won't be responsible for what happens to you.” I was deadly serious. Frances was a bit of a bad girl, but Vic was highly protective of her as was I. He stepped closer to me, putting one arm at the side of my side on the wall beside.
“Well, if I can't have her. How about you?” My breath got stuck in my throat. I let out a nervous laugh.
“It's a no from me Ben.” I cracked up at my own choice of words. He put his cigarette out and walked inside. I was left outside to finish mine on my own, I let out a deep sigh before lighting up another. I won't lie to you, I almost agreed to letting him have his way with me. But no, I couldn't. I had to keep a clear head. I wanted to get Kellin back and sleeping with other people wouldn't help me get him back.
I was just about to walk inside when James came out, backing me into the wall I was just stood against. I couldn't read the expression on his face. Maybe that was due to me being intoxicated. He was leaning closer and closer with each other breath I took. He moved my hair out the way, leaning towards my ear. “Stay away from my friends.” With that he left.
What on earth was he implying? Then it hit me. Ben fucking Bruce. I walked in, straight over to the table. James and Ben were sat together watching me. I grabbed Sam's hand, pulling him up onto the dance floor. As we danced, it became more heated by the second as the bass ran through the buliding, as the music seemed to get louder. I glanced over to table, my uncles were laughing while watching us. Cam seemed to be shouting something. But Ben and James? They looked like they were going to murder me right now. I gave a smirk before pulling Sam closer to me.
***
“What do you think you're playing at?!” yelled James. We were now back at the bus, that's when it began to kick off. Everyone were stood around awkwardly watching this unravel.
“It's called having fun!” I shot back, I was fuming right now, he was acting like we were in a relationship. He was acting like he owned me.
“No wonder Kellin left you, you'll never change.” he spat, I was about to take a swing at him when Hannah and Fran held onto me. They took me off the bus. I detached myself from them. I wandered over to the other bus with us. Knocking on the door it swung open, I was greeted by Oli. Hannah explained what had happened. Before I had chance to do anything, he was on my bus. I was about to walk over when someone came flying out the door. It was Oli. He stood up, rubbing his back and jaw. “You can stay with us...Fuck they pack a mean punch.”
“Is he always like that?” laughed Hannah.
“Strangely yes, he always comes to the rescue.” I laughed with her as we got on the bus. I looked at this bus, comparing it to mine. Holy smokes, it was messy. Did they actually clean up after themselves? Two people came walking from the back of the bus. “Alannn!!” I screamed, running up and hugging him.
“Hey little 'un. What's brought you to this, the best bus on the tour?”
“I fancied a change, I don't get to hang out with you guys much.” I grinned, they never came out with us which was a shame because I really liked hanging with the Of Mice lads. We all sat on the floor, talking, laughing and joking. We weren't leaving yet due to the fact we had more one show at this venue. I had told them the reason I was on their bus. They all agreed it would be best if I stayed with them for a little while. I knew they'd let me stay here, especially the Bring Me lads considering how close we were. Eventually we called it a night and the lads headed to their separate bunks leaving me, Frances and Hannah in the living area to sleep. “I need some night wear, I'll be back in 2.”
Jumping up, I headed out one bus onto another. “Oh she's come crawling back...” I heard James say. I rolled my eyes continuing onto my bunk area. Grabbing some night wear I headed back off, after saying night to my uncles. I was stopped by my Uncle Vic outside the other bus.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah, just you know tired.” I smiled at him. I knew he wasn't convinced but he let it drop. After a quick hug he went back to his bus and I got on mine. I changed into my night wear in the bathroom. I walked over to the bunk with Alan's name on, pulling the curtains open. “Can I use your laptop? I want to call Kellin.” He nodded and handed it over. I sat myself on the floor of the bus, getting it all sorted. I signed into Skype and clicked the call button. Within seconds he answered. I couldn't help but smile as he smiled.
Heyy, I was about to text you....
My phone is on the other bus, I'm on Oli's bus now.
What's happened?
I'm changing, that's what happened.
Who's upset you?
James. We had an arguement. I really need you back here Kels.
I know baby. My smile turned into a grin when he called me that. We had a long talk about things. I didn't mention the excitement thing, that wasn't a suitable conversation to have over Skype. As strange as it might sound, I had butterflies while talking to him. He had always had this effect on me. His smile was contagious, no matter how rubbish I felt once he smiled all my problems would seem to fade and I'd end smile back at him. Not a fake smile. A real smile.
We soon said our goodbye's, which I will admit to you now I didn't want to. I just wanted to keep on talking, fall asleep and wake up to him being there still smiling at me. I sighed as I closed the laptop and placed it on the table, I messed up a good thing and now I was suffering the heart break of throwing away the one good thing in my life. I grabbed a blanket and got settled on the floor; as Hannah and Frances took the sofa's. They were already asleep, which left me time to think about things.
I had 5 months to go before I was back in America and I couldn't wait to be back there. As much as I love touring, I was missing home too much. I was missing my daughter a lot and I just wanted to be with her, like a proper mom should be. Like I should be, but I messed that up as well. Do you see a pattern? I get a good thing and I mess it up. Sitting up, I looked around at nothing. I was feeling restless and I felt like crying. I was doing too much thinking but thinking is what I do. I get into a lot of trouble for it sometimes, people think I don't listen to them but I do. I'm listening, taking in everything someone says to me and I think about it.
I got up, getting myself a bottle of water and laying myself back down on the floor. With a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes and let sleep consume me.
I was wandering through the park, enjoying the scenery around me. The sky light blue, the children running around and laughing. This is what happiness felt like. I sat myself next to another girl on the bench. Someone I've been meaning to meet for a very long time.
“I've been waiting for you.” she spoke.
“I'm sorry, I've been busy. What's it's like?” I replied, smiling brightly.
“It's different, but I watch you all happily.” her smile was beautiful.
“Mom, can you help me?” She nodded, taking my hand in hers. She stood up, as did I and we walked.
“Do what makes you happy baby, if you want Kellin go get him. Love's tough, very tough. It's heart breaking the say the least, but you're a bright and beautiful girl my sweetheart and you will get through this.” She stopped, I looked up too see a tree. I'd been to this tree many times. Mom pointed to a spot on the tree. “Look, this tree was mine and your uncles. We spent a lot of time here, he made me happy. I ruined it, he ruined it as well but he didn't give up like I did.”
“Mom it wasn't your fault.” I felt the lump in my throat. She turned to face me, grabbing both of my hands.
“Listen to me baby girl, you need to do what's right for you and your beautiful baby girl. Don't let yourself get like me, you're doing a great job with yourself. I'm proud of you sweetheart. You really do make me proud. I'm always here baby, helping you. I love you.”
With that she was gone. I looked at the tree, smiling to myself....
I shot up. Tears in my eyes. A smile on my face. I caught Tino looking at me with a funny look on his face. “Hey.”
“I have to go...” I jumped up. Running off the bus and onto the other one. I was greeted by my uncles. I smiled at them, the biggest smile I could do.
“What's going on?” Vic spoke up.
“Mom. I saw mom.” They looked at me as if I had just escaped the local mental hospital. Mike got up and walked off, slamming a door. Vic stood up along with Jaime.
“Ads, your mom's dead remember?” Jaime spoke softly.
“Yes, I know. But I saw her. She told me some stuff.” I turned to face my Uncle Vic. “She really was beautiful, I have to talk to Uncle Mike.” I walked to the back of the bus, opening the door I sat myself beside him. He looked as if he was going to cry. “You never gave up on mom, you tried Uncle Mikey. She doesn't blame you. She loves you, keep that in mind.” I gave him a hug and headed to get dressed ready to face the day and ready to start a new. I was going to change myself for the better, I wasn't giving up the fight any more.
The world was about to see a new side to Adriana Sierra Perry.
The good side.
“Bruce, smoke time!” I yelled over to him. His snapped towards me, with a glare on his face. I shook my head and motioned him to follow me outside. We made our way through the crowd. I spotted my uncles up at the bar, they spotted me. I did some hand movements telling them I was going for a smoke. The cool breeze hit as soon as we opened the door. It made a change to the heat inside. Pulling out two smokes, I passed one to Ben, lighting mine and talking.
“She's beautiful isn't she?” I knew he would know what I was talking, he nodded inhaling deep. “She's out of bounds to you, to any of you.”
“You're not her mother.”
“Believe me, if she was here she would beat your ass to the ground. Stay away from her Ben, I mean it. If you go near her, I won't be responsible for what happens to you.” I was deadly serious. Frances was a bit of a bad girl, but Vic was highly protective of her as was I. He stepped closer to me, putting one arm at the side of my side on the wall beside.
“Well, if I can't have her. How about you?” My breath got stuck in my throat. I let out a nervous laugh.
“It's a no from me Ben.” I cracked up at my own choice of words. He put his cigarette out and walked inside. I was left outside to finish mine on my own, I let out a deep sigh before lighting up another. I won't lie to you, I almost agreed to letting him have his way with me. But no, I couldn't. I had to keep a clear head. I wanted to get Kellin back and sleeping with other people wouldn't help me get him back.
I was just about to walk inside when James came out, backing me into the wall I was just stood against. I couldn't read the expression on his face. Maybe that was due to me being intoxicated. He was leaning closer and closer with each other breath I took. He moved my hair out the way, leaning towards my ear. “Stay away from my friends.” With that he left.
What on earth was he implying? Then it hit me. Ben fucking Bruce. I walked in, straight over to the table. James and Ben were sat together watching me. I grabbed Sam's hand, pulling him up onto the dance floor. As we danced, it became more heated by the second as the bass ran through the buliding, as the music seemed to get louder. I glanced over to table, my uncles were laughing while watching us. Cam seemed to be shouting something. But Ben and James? They looked like they were going to murder me right now. I gave a smirk before pulling Sam closer to me.
***
“What do you think you're playing at?!” yelled James. We were now back at the bus, that's when it began to kick off. Everyone were stood around awkwardly watching this unravel.
“It's called having fun!” I shot back, I was fuming right now, he was acting like we were in a relationship. He was acting like he owned me.
“No wonder Kellin left you, you'll never change.” he spat, I was about to take a swing at him when Hannah and Fran held onto me. They took me off the bus. I detached myself from them. I wandered over to the other bus with us. Knocking on the door it swung open, I was greeted by Oli. Hannah explained what had happened. Before I had chance to do anything, he was on my bus. I was about to walk over when someone came flying out the door. It was Oli. He stood up, rubbing his back and jaw. “You can stay with us...Fuck they pack a mean punch.”
“Is he always like that?” laughed Hannah.
“Strangely yes, he always comes to the rescue.” I laughed with her as we got on the bus. I looked at this bus, comparing it to mine. Holy smokes, it was messy. Did they actually clean up after themselves? Two people came walking from the back of the bus. “Alannn!!” I screamed, running up and hugging him.
“Hey little 'un. What's brought you to this, the best bus on the tour?”
“I fancied a change, I don't get to hang out with you guys much.” I grinned, they never came out with us which was a shame because I really liked hanging with the Of Mice lads. We all sat on the floor, talking, laughing and joking. We weren't leaving yet due to the fact we had more one show at this venue. I had told them the reason I was on their bus. They all agreed it would be best if I stayed with them for a little while. I knew they'd let me stay here, especially the Bring Me lads considering how close we were. Eventually we called it a night and the lads headed to their separate bunks leaving me, Frances and Hannah in the living area to sleep. “I need some night wear, I'll be back in 2.”
Jumping up, I headed out one bus onto another. “Oh she's come crawling back...” I heard James say. I rolled my eyes continuing onto my bunk area. Grabbing some night wear I headed back off, after saying night to my uncles. I was stopped by my Uncle Vic outside the other bus.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“Yeah, just you know tired.” I smiled at him. I knew he wasn't convinced but he let it drop. After a quick hug he went back to his bus and I got on mine. I changed into my night wear in the bathroom. I walked over to the bunk with Alan's name on, pulling the curtains open. “Can I use your laptop? I want to call Kellin.” He nodded and handed it over. I sat myself on the floor of the bus, getting it all sorted. I signed into Skype and clicked the call button. Within seconds he answered. I couldn't help but smile as he smiled.
Heyy, I was about to text you....
My phone is on the other bus, I'm on Oli's bus now.
What's happened?
I'm changing, that's what happened.
Who's upset you?
James. We had an arguement. I really need you back here Kels.
I know baby. My smile turned into a grin when he called me that. We had a long talk about things. I didn't mention the excitement thing, that wasn't a suitable conversation to have over Skype. As strange as it might sound, I had butterflies while talking to him. He had always had this effect on me. His smile was contagious, no matter how rubbish I felt once he smiled all my problems would seem to fade and I'd end smile back at him. Not a fake smile. A real smile.
We soon said our goodbye's, which I will admit to you now I didn't want to. I just wanted to keep on talking, fall asleep and wake up to him being there still smiling at me. I sighed as I closed the laptop and placed it on the table, I messed up a good thing and now I was suffering the heart break of throwing away the one good thing in my life. I grabbed a blanket and got settled on the floor; as Hannah and Frances took the sofa's. They were already asleep, which left me time to think about things.
I had 5 months to go before I was back in America and I couldn't wait to be back there. As much as I love touring, I was missing home too much. I was missing my daughter a lot and I just wanted to be with her, like a proper mom should be. Like I should be, but I messed that up as well. Do you see a pattern? I get a good thing and I mess it up. Sitting up, I looked around at nothing. I was feeling restless and I felt like crying. I was doing too much thinking but thinking is what I do. I get into a lot of trouble for it sometimes, people think I don't listen to them but I do. I'm listening, taking in everything someone says to me and I think about it.
I got up, getting myself a bottle of water and laying myself back down on the floor. With a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes and let sleep consume me.
I was wandering through the park, enjoying the scenery around me. The sky light blue, the children running around and laughing. This is what happiness felt like. I sat myself next to another girl on the bench. Someone I've been meaning to meet for a very long time.
“I've been waiting for you.” she spoke.
“I'm sorry, I've been busy. What's it's like?” I replied, smiling brightly.
“It's different, but I watch you all happily.” her smile was beautiful.
“Mom, can you help me?” She nodded, taking my hand in hers. She stood up, as did I and we walked.
“Do what makes you happy baby, if you want Kellin go get him. Love's tough, very tough. It's heart breaking the say the least, but you're a bright and beautiful girl my sweetheart and you will get through this.” She stopped, I looked up too see a tree. I'd been to this tree many times. Mom pointed to a spot on the tree. “Look, this tree was mine and your uncles. We spent a lot of time here, he made me happy. I ruined it, he ruined it as well but he didn't give up like I did.”
“Mom it wasn't your fault.” I felt the lump in my throat. She turned to face me, grabbing both of my hands.
“Listen to me baby girl, you need to do what's right for you and your beautiful baby girl. Don't let yourself get like me, you're doing a great job with yourself. I'm proud of you sweetheart. You really do make me proud. I'm always here baby, helping you. I love you.”
With that she was gone. I looked at the tree, smiling to myself....
I shot up. Tears in my eyes. A smile on my face. I caught Tino looking at me with a funny look on his face. “Hey.”
“I have to go...” I jumped up. Running off the bus and onto the other one. I was greeted by my uncles. I smiled at them, the biggest smile I could do.
“What's going on?” Vic spoke up.
“Mom. I saw mom.” They looked at me as if I had just escaped the local mental hospital. Mike got up and walked off, slamming a door. Vic stood up along with Jaime.
“Ads, your mom's dead remember?” Jaime spoke softly.
“Yes, I know. But I saw her. She told me some stuff.” I turned to face my Uncle Vic. “She really was beautiful, I have to talk to Uncle Mike.” I walked to the back of the bus, opening the door I sat myself beside him. He looked as if he was going to cry. “You never gave up on mom, you tried Uncle Mikey. She doesn't blame you. She loves you, keep that in mind.” I gave him a hug and headed to get dressed ready to face the day and ready to start a new. I was going to change myself for the better, I wasn't giving up the fight any more.
The world was about to see a new side to Adriana Sierra Perry.
The good side.
10/16/13