I decided not to join the guys on stage tonight, I didn't feel up to performing tonight and I was really hoping everyone would be understanding. My uncles were of course, but I wasn't sure if the fans would be. But I had to think about myself as well, didn't I? Anyway, here I am sat in the bus all on my own. I wasn't doing much, apart from lying in my bunk staring at the one above me. I don't really know how I feel, empty perhaps? Lost? Confused? I don't know, but all I know is I didn't like this feeling I was getting. I wanted to be happy, not like this.

I heard the bus door open and close, I made no attempt to get up and move. I heard the footsteps walking but I just continued staring at nothing. I wasn't even scared. The footsteps stopped right outside my bunk, I heard a sigh before they opened. I didn't even look to see who it was. But I felt their gaze on me.

"You remind me of your mother." Now that caught my attention. My head snapped to side. Uncle Mike was stood there. "She'd spend hours locked away, just like you are doing."

"So?" He pulled out his wallet and pulled a picture out of it, passing it to me.

"That was one of the few times she was actually happy." It was a picture of mom, dad, Mike, Vic and Jaime. I sat up to get a better look at it. She had a beautiful smile, she really did look happy. "Beautiful isn't she?"

"Extremely. But what's that got to do with my state of mind?" I asked, giving him the picture back.

"We don't want you to go the way your mom did." he sighed, he looked like he was going to cry. I jumped out my bunk and gave him a hug. I hated seeing any of them get upset. "Now, will you join us on the stage in exactly 15 minutes?" I gave a small nod before heading into the venue with him.

On arrival to the rest of the band, Vic pulled me to one side. "Today would of been your mom's birthday, I wrote a song about your mom once, would you like to sing it with me?"

"Sure, what's it called?"

"Hold On Till May." My eyes widened. He wrote that about mom? "Today this gig is in memory of your mom and dad. You're taking control of tonight, this is your show."

"W-what?" I stammered, confused by what he was saying.

"You're the singer tonight." With that he ran on the stage, taking position where I would usually stand. I stood frozen on the spot. I was in the spotlight tonight, I walked out on the stage, minus a guitar. I wasn't allowed one. I looked around quickly to see Ben stood there, he was replacing me by the looks of things.

The beginning of Stained Glass Eyes And Colorful Tears started up.

♠ I changed your mind
And ended up here
Through stained glass eyes
And colorful tears

Fine...
Maybe I'll pretend right now
But I swear to God
I'm gonna change the world
And I promise you
Someday we'll tell ourselves
"Oh my God, this is paradise ♠

I looked out to the crowd, who were all singing their hearts out. I felt complete right now.

♠ I cherish my
Mom and Dad
They hold them down
While I destroy the world
My desperate crimes
They don't seem to care
(Oh yeah)
They bites her tongue
So that they can tell me
"Baby this is paradise
And it's so god damn good"
Now we live like we should ♠

I was glad of the lyrics coming up on a small screen below my feet, they changed them just for tonight. Just for me.

♠ Fine...
Maybe I'll pretend right now
But I swear to God
I'm gonna change the world
And I promise you
Someday we'll tell ourselves
"Oh my God, this is paradise"

Fine...
Maybe I'll pretend right now
But I swear to God
I'm gonna change the world
And I promise you
Someday we'll tell ourselves
"Oh my God, this is paradise" ♠

I stood back away from the mic when the song finished to wipe my eyes. I stood back up to it and began talking as I sat down on the edge of the stage. "So, today would of been my mom's birthday. I don't remember much of my beautiful mother, but I do know that she loved the people around her...." A head set was put on me. "so tonight, this ones for her. If you're looking down on me mom, I love you and Happy Birthday...." I smiled up at the sky. A stage hand took my mic and handed a acoustic guitar.

I strummed the first few chords and began singing.

♠ She sits up high surrounded by the sun
One million branches and she loves every one
"Mom and dad, did you search for me?
I've been up here so long I'm going crazy"

And as the sun went down we ended up on the ground
I heard the train shake the windows
You screamed over the sound
And as we own this night
I put your body to the test with mine
This love was out of control
3-2-1 where did it go? ♠

I stopped singing, letting the crowd sing the next bit. I smiled proudly as them as I continued playing. I soon rejoined them in singing.

♠ And as the sun went down we ended up on the ground
I heard the train shake the windows
You screamed over the sound
And as we own this night
I put your body to the test with mine
This love was out of control
3-2-1 where did it go?

If I were you, I'd put that away
See, you're just wasted
And thinking about the past again
Darling you'll be okay

And she said.... ♠

Then Vic's voice appeared.

♠ If you were me, you'd do the same
'Cause I can't take anymore
I'll draw the shades and close the door
Everything's not alright and I would rather... ♠

We finished up the song, I was so proud of the fans. I was proud of myself. The rest of the night I sang my heart out for mom and dad. I cried, I laughed as well. The fans were amazing as were the rest of the bands. Austin had even come out to perform Second and Sebring with me in memory of mom. I couldn't thank everyone enough. After the show I ran backstage, pulling my family in a big hug. The tears started properly, but I was smiling at the same time.

I walked back to the bus with everyone. I told them I'd be outside for a while, I wanted to see the stars and talk to them. I managed to climb up on top of the bus. Laying down, I had a smile on my face. "This is all for you mom and dad, I hope you're proud of me....I know if you were here, you would be. You give me strength each day to keep on living, I want to be the person you brought me up to be. I love you guys."

I sat there in silence, smiling to myself. I knew they had heard me. They'd be smiling down on me too, together. Proud of who I've become.

Happy Birthday Mom.

Notes

I am FULLY aware that the lyrics to Stained Glassed Eyes & Colorful Tears are not as they are put in this chapter and I am not the rightful owner of any of the lyrics. I changed them to fit the story and they are NOT the proper lyrics. Now that's out the way;

This chapter is dedicated to my best friend Oliver who's birthday it is today and is currently in hospital on life support after attempting suicide.

On another note; don't forget to comment, rec and sub! :) next update asap - vickyptv x