“Well, Kimberly, your mother hasn’t made as much progress as we’d like on this drug. She needs to help us out and eat more, and make herself a little bit more mobile. If she does these things, there’s a chance she will survive this. I know how hard this must be on you and your siblings to see your mother like this, but sometimes, a harsh tone can go a long way. Constantly remind her that she has to eat, even if she doesn’t feel like it. It’s the most important thing right now.” the doctor said to me, her hand placed on my shoulder, rubbing it sympathetically. I sadly nodded and turned back towards my mum’s room, where she was sitting staring at a full bowl of soup.

“Hello mama.” I said softly, sitting down on the chair nearest her. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“No…” she said, as if she were going to continue but didn’t. There was a long pause before she spoke again, “I don’t feel like eating.”

I sighed, taking my mum’s hand in mine and kissing it over and over. There are no words to describe how much this hurts, seeing her like this. I’ve took more time off of work, simply because I can’t handle it. My work understands. I’ve been here, at the hospital with her, every day. Pretty much all day every day. I only go home to sleep or get showered. I hardly see Vic, but being the most loving boyfriend in the whole world, he understands and is grateful to have any time with me at all. He always praises me for being strong, but truthfully, I’m really not. I have hardly been eating, like my mum said, I don’t feel like eating either. I know I’m getting myself back into my bad habits but I can’t help it. I don’t want to do anything but be with my mum when she’s like this.

“Mama I know. I know… But please just eat something. If you start eating a little bit more, they’ll think more and more about letting you out. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To be in the comfort of your own home. Come on mama, we hate seeing you in here as much as you hate being in here. It hurts so bad mama, to see you like this, so weak and sad. Please just eat at least a quarter of this soup. I’ll get off your back, I’ll even try convincing them to let you home this weekend, but you need to eat the soup. Please mama. I’m begging.” I said, my voice cracking every now and then, but I had to be strong, be stern. It was hard, but it’s what she needs. I had my head buried in her arm, something I used to do when I was in trouble when I was younger. I want my mother back. This woman in front of me is a fraction of her. I need my mum. I need her. If she doesn’t eat, she won’t survive. I need my mum in my life, god damn it! I started lightly sobbing and I pulled myself away, exposing my tear stained face. My mum’s face immediately softened.

“Aw baby, I’m sorry Kimmy. I thought you were okay, I thought you were dealing okay. Are you not? Baby please don’t cry.” She said, putting her hand up to my cheek. “Okay, you have yourself a deal. But, you have to start eating too young lady. Don’t think I’ve not noticed the pounds shedding off of you. What size are you in clothes right now?” she sternly said, there’s my mama.

“I-I’m a size 4…” I shakily said, scared of what she’d do. She’s the only person I’d ever be scared of.

“Kimberly Rose!” her voice boomed in the room. “You went from a beautiful curvy 10 to a tiny size 4 in a month?! How much are you not eating, young lady?”

I cried a little in my hands, letting her know everything she asked. Truth be told, I rarely ate and to stop myself from passing out I’d have an apple or banana or something. Something tiny like that. This wasn’t about being the picture perfect girl anymore; this was because I was depressed and didn’t want to do anything other than be with my mother. I felt stupid for giving her a lecture about eating when I wasn’t doing it myself, but oh well. Her health comes before mine.

“I-I don’t really eat. If I feel like I’m going to pass out, I’ll eat a banana or something.” I said, my voice shaking. I truly was terrified of what she was going to do.

“If I eat this soup, you have to promise me that you will let Taylor cook you a good, proper meal tonight. Do we have a deal?” she said, her face softening again at seeing me be so vulnerable, when I’d been so strong for years. Or so she thought.

“We have a deal mama.” I weakly smiled at her, taking her hands in mine again.

“Now, what does this ‘Vic’ you speak of think about your weight loss?” she really liked the sound of Vic, but until she met him, she couldn’t confirm that he was a good guy.

“He’s not… I’ve not…” I didn’t know how to finish what I was saying, or start, really. I sighed in defeat; I may as well tell her everything. “I barely see him because I want to be here all the time.
When I do see him, I wear baggy clothes, so he doesn’t see…” I looked down at my lap, feeling my mother’s eyes burning holes into me.

“I want to meet him, baby. Call him up and go home, get showered and everything then pick him up on your way back here. I’d really like to meet him now. If he wants to meet me that is.” She chuckled. “Go on, call him.” She smiled to me. I returned the smile. Truth be told I’ve wanted her to meet him for so long. He makes me so happy. I know she’d love him! I pulled my phone out of my bag and ignored texts from Cassie and went straight to Vic’s contact, pressing the number to call him. It only rang two times before I heard the voice that sent my heart fluttering.

“Hello baby.” He said softly.
“Why hello handsome.” I smiled, my mum smiling at me. It was infectious, how happy he made me, and I think my mother could now see that.
“Is everything okay, gorgeous?” he asked, concern in his voice.
“I guess so. I just wanted to see if you wanted to meet my mum tonight? She’s dying to meet you.”
“Oh my god, that’s amazing. I’d love to! I can’t wait, if she’s definitely up for seeing me?” I could hear the grin in his voice, he always says how he wants to meet the mother of the ‘most beautiful woman in the world’ – I then tell him that he hasn’t met her yet, and my mother is that woman.
“She’s definitely up for seeing you. She can’t wait either. I’m going home soon, I’m gonna shower and eat then pick you up to go see her. How does that sound?”
“Perfect baby. I’ll see you later tonight then. I love you honey.”
“I love you too Vic, see you tonight.” I smiled, hanging up the phone.

I gave my mum a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving the hospital to go back home, where I managed to eat half a bowl of pasta. I was so, so proud of myself. I jumped into the shower, washing my hair, my face and my body before getting out. I wrapped the towels round my now frail, skinny frame and made my way out of the bathroom. I looked at my outfit that I’d had laid out on the bed before going to find underwear. I slid the towel off and put my underwear before turning round, to be met with Vic. His eyes filled with tears and I could tell we’d be a while before heading to see my mum. His face looked horrified and guilty, although he had nothing to feel guilty for, I knew he would. He’d feel like it was his fault for not looking after me, but he’s been the best. It’s not his fault.

“Kim?” he croaked out.

I looked up at him whilst getting my outfit on. “Vic, honey, I know. I’m sorry. My mum spoke to me about it today and I feel like shit for doing this to myself, to you, to my friends, to my family. I’m especially sorry for hiding it. I know I shouldn’t have. But I just…” I sighed, pausing for a moment. “I had a moment, but I’ll get over it. I had half a bowl of pasta today, and that’s like really big for me. I’ll be back to the girl you fell in love with in no time baby.” I took my hair out of its towel and shook my hair around, slightly towel drying it. I was really only doing this so I didn’t have to look Vic in the eye. I pulled out a pair of socks and my docs, putting them both on. Vic sat down next to me on the bed, engulfing me in a cuddle. I tensed up at first, not wanting him to feel how bony and tiny I’ve become, but I soon released, cuddling him just as much.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry I didn’t realise, there’s just so much going on with the band just now too. Both of us have so much going on. I’m so sorry. You’re still the girl I fell in love with, and no matter what you look like, you always will be. It’s your personality I fell in love with too, my lady. I’m going to start being there for you so much more than I have been. You’re still the same; don’t think that you’re not. You’re just going through a tough time. I love you baby, I really, really do.”

I nodded, inhaling Vic’s scent, which was already calming me and I didn’t feel the need to cry anymore. I smiled at Vic, kissing him softly. “I love you so, so much.” I whispered, my forehead against his.

He took my hand and stood me up with him, cuddling me gently, as if he didn’t want to hurt me or something – which I actually found quite cute. “Let’s go see your little mama.” He said, smiling and leading us out of the house. I sighed, feeling content and much happier, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. A massive weight at that. I have the best boyfriend in the world, regardless of what’s going on in my life, I know I always have him.

Notes

Title credit: The Boy Who Could Fly - Pierce the Veil.

This is a super long chapter for you guys, I hope you all like it!
As sad as this chapter is at points, I really enjoyed writing it. I'm also here for anyone who is going through tough things at the moment <3

So this is just kind of an insight into Kim's life, her relationship with her mother etc. Btw, I have nothing against naturally skinny girls or anything, I realize a part of this chapter may make it seem that way, but I'm not.

Thank you all for reading and subscribing, it means the world to me! I can't believe there are 48 subscribers! That's insane! Thank you, all of you! You're amazing and I love you all! But remember, no updates without feedback, please please don't be silent readers. I want to know if you all want me to keep going with this! xxx