Are We Losing, or Beginning?

I knew I'd ruined our date today and I'd upset her too and trust me I wasn't proud at all. But as I laid down on the rock hard couch a smile ambushed my face, our near kiss still lingering in my head. I was kind of irritated that Jaime had bursted in just as we were about to kiss but I couldn't change it right? So why care. I'd get another shot...I hope.

I was just closing my eyes when I heard a whimper. It was soft at first, almost like a groan but then it grew louder, like a cry. I frowned and headed towards the bunks because that was exactly where the sound was coming from. Who it was coming from though I didn't know. Reaching the bunks I halted and listened, trying to detect which bunk it was coming from which would tell me who it was, but it stopped briefly. I waited for it to start again but it didn't. Typically though as soon as I was going to walk away it started again, I pulled back the curtain to my bunk where Savannah was sleeping tonight and there she was, writhing in some kind of nightmarish mental pain, softly turning her head from side to side, almost like she was shaking it. Her features were all scrunched up as another whimper escaped her parted lips. She was having a nightmare. I didn't really know what to do, it was common knowledge that you should never wake someone who is having a nightmare. Or was that sleep walking? I didn't really know, but I couldn't watch her in torment or walk away knowing she was having a bad dream so I did the only thing I could think to do.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay." I cooed softly and stroked her cheek, trying to soothe her. She gasped and shot up, hitting her head off of the bunk above. She clenched her eyes shut in pain and put her palm to her head, grimacing. "Are you okay?" I asked referring to both the nightmare and the injury.

"Clumsy." She rubbed her head sleepily. "Hurts."

"You were having a nightmare." I informed in a whisper, trying not to wake any of the alcoholic assholes that were sleeping, awaiting tomorrow’s hangover.

She frowned and if it wasn't so dark I imagined a blush ambushing her face. "I was?" She asked but I knew she knew she had been, I played along though, not wanting her to feel embarrassed or anything. She tucked her hair behind her ears and avoided eye contact with me, she looked so vulnerable and sleepy, it was adorable.

"Come on." I took her hand in mine and she looked at me confused, "come with me." She nodded and slid her legs out first before getting off of the bunk and following my lead. I headed over to the kitchen area, dragging her along behind me.

"What are you doing?" She asked sleepily.

"I am making you some warm milk to chase away the nightmares." It sounded cheesy and admittedly, it was. But I'd do anything to spend just a few more minutes with her.

"Milk? I'm not a child." She frowned and it made me chuckle.

"You're sleepy, it's adorable." I blurted and her cheeks turned bright red as she giggled a little. I felt a bit of an idiot for saying that so abruptly but it wasn't like I could take it back so I shrugged haphazardly with a slight chuckle. I made her some warm milk, now that she'd pointed it out I felt a little stupid for doing so but I couldn't exactly stop smack bang in the middle of it. She began to sip it slowly, leaning against the only counter in our compact bus kitchen. Her eyes became more alive as she woke up more and more as the minutes ticked by.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, figuring she should talk about it to get it out of her system. She grimaced slightly and shrugged, probably unsure of whether to 'burden' me with it or not. I wished she would spill all of her darkest secrets to me, I wanted to take all of her pain away, they say a problem shared is a problem halved and if that was the truth I wanted to half ever single one of her problems a million times over.

"I don't know..." She voiced and I understood that, sometimes it was hard to open up to someone, especially if they'd never opened up to you. Sometimes it felt like a double edged sword; if you open up they officially know your secrets and can tell everybody if they really wished to - but on the other hand if you don't open up then they're probably never going to open up to you either. I understood that.

"I used to have nightmares too," I explained, "when I was around fifteen." Most people grew out of nightmares when they were younger so for me to admit that took a lot of courage but I wanted her to know I understood what it was like.

"I just keep dreaming about the accident," she admitted, staring at the floor, "the way the car turned around and around and I was like a rag doll...it haunts me." Her eyes were slightly vacant as she recalled it.

I sighed and walked over to her, I didn't pity her, pity was pathetic, but I didn't want her to feel all that pain, she wasn't deserving of it. I wrapped my arms around her waist, it was a bold move but considering she'd leaned into our near kiss earlier I assumed she felt the same as me. "One day you'll just learn how to cope with it properly. Right now it's just your brains way of dealing with it until it finds a more reasonable way."

She canted her head to the side, a small smile tugging her lips upwards. "Thank you." She pecked my cheek softly and then slid out of my grasp. She stepped around me and turned, feeling a little disappointed. "Goodnight, Vic." She smiled sweetly and before I could even reply she turned and left.

"Night, Savi..." I whispered.

----

"Such a bad idea." I heard Mike's all too familiar voice sound, I put my hands over my ears but the voices travelled through anyway.

"You guys are hilarious." A girl's voice sounded - Savannah. Knowing Savi was awake got me off the couch and to my feet. The sound of vomiting could be heard throughout the whole bus, I scrunched up my nose as the sound made my stomach roll.

"Could you get me some aspirin? My head hurts." Mike groaned and I heard a girlish giggle.

"Poor baby." Savannah mocked. Seconds later she exited the bathroom and her back was towards me. I took the opportunity to snake my arms around her waist and make her jump. I succeeded.

"Hi lazy." She greeted with a chuckle and I rested my chin on her shoulder, she smiled fondly and I couldn't help but smile too.

"Going somewhere?" I raised my eyebrows with a smirk on my lips.

"Aspirin duty." She explained, "happen to know where it is?"

"I just might." I teased and she smiled, poking my nose. I let her go and took her hand instead. I took her over to where we kept all the medicine and stuff, I opened the cupboard, rifled through it for a few seconds until I saw the bottle. "A-ha!" I snagged it and put it in her spare hand, failing to close the cupboard again.

"Thank you." She grinned, her happy mood was tangible and made me feel uplifted. I liked that about her. The way her phone kept going off with texts from a cruel (and now ex) best friend but she still managed to smile and make me feel happy too.

"Your hair is wet." I noticed, she raised her hand up to it curiously as if she'd forgotten what wet hair felt like.

"Oh yeah, I was showering and mid-shampoo your bother bangs on the door yelling that he's going to puke so I had to either cover up or get out." And she giggled at the recent memory. That sounded exactly like Mike to be honest. And I was totally not picturing her in the shower right now. My eyes flicked to her lips, the bottom one was tucked under her top teeth, - my vision flicked to her eyes and then right back to her lips. I wondered if she was feeling the exact same pull that I was.

"Er, better go get this to Mike." She said awkwardly and shook the bottle of pills for emphasis.

"Right." I replied and I let her go. She smiled sincerely at me, walked around me, and I watched her walk away.

A light bulb flashed above my head, an idea coming straight to my mind, I knew the perfect date scenario to make up for our failed first date and hopefully she'd like the idea too. I rushed over to where the laptop was and opened the lid, hitting the on button and resurrecting it from its deep sleep. I typed in what I was looking for and hit enter, scrolling down Google waiting for the right thing to catch my eye. Once it did a big smile sprawled over my mouth. This was going to be epic.

---

“What about paintballing?!” I exclaimed loudly, bounding into the room where everyone had accumulated in the past half hour, they all looked up at me a little baffled, wondering where this sudden outburst came from. Casey was the first to speak up.

“Paintballing?” he questioned and then looked at the others with a weird expression that flat out questioned my sanity at this moment.

“It’s our first day off in a while so I wanted to do something fun together so why not?” Mike began to smile; I knew he’d be up for it. Jaime piped up next.

“Paintballing? Awesome!” he cheered and Mike nodded in agreement, Tony shrugged like he didn’t really care what we did, I kind of hated that about him sometimes, the way he’d just go along with whatever we wanted to do. One day I hoped he’d just stand right up and say no fuck you I’m not doing that, it’d surprise the hell out of me but I’d appreciate him speaking his mind for a change. I turned to Savannah to get her opinion and she smiled.

“Sounds great,” she nodded, “but I suck at paintballing.” She shrugged haphazardly and it made me smile a toothy grin at her, she was beyond adorable.

“That’s okay, the only reason Casey isn’t fully on board with the idea is because he sucks too.” I winked and Casey scoffed, raising an eyebrow.

“You talk big, Fuentes but you’re going down!” he retorted.

“That’s the spirit!” I chuckled. I’d already booked lots of places at the paintballing place so it was lucky that they all agreed otherwise I don’t really know what I’d have done. I was also thinking about proposing the painstaking idea to our friends on Warped Tour too. All we needed to do now was hire a car to get there and back considering we couldn’t exactly drive the bus there.

“Himes, do you want to hire us a car or do you think we should get a taxi?” I asked and he grinned from ear to ear in a typical Jaime fashion.

“Hire a car! I want to drive!” he exclaimed and I shrugged, fair enough, that was easy.

----

“So… boys against girls?” Mike announced with a smirk.

“We’ll make a great team, Mike,” Savannah shot back with a snicker, causing us all to laugh. She looked down and blushed a little, as if she felt embarrassed for joking out loud to so many people. I sneakily tossed an arm around her shoulder.

“She can be on team PTV,” I said.

“Of course she will,” Rian from All Time Low grinned, shooting me a wink—was it that obvious that I liked her?

“And for that, I declare war on ATL!” I announced, shrugging off my thoughts. There was a chorus of “ooo’s” and everyone clambered together, dividing into teams. I tried not to appear too clingy, but my time with Savannah was limited and I wanted to be as close to her as possible for as long as I could. I gave her space, though, just in case she wanted to talk to some one else—I couldn't hog her, after all, even though I wanted to.

Luckily we were basically the only people in the place, and we decided to take the two-hour slot in the “woods course”, which was basically free-for-all in a controlled forest. Mayday Parade teamed up with us, probably much to Savi’s delight, although I bet she would have enjoyed being in anyone’s company, while All Time Low teamed up with We the Kings.

Everyone went all out with the supplies the place gave us—war paint and everything. As everyone tried to camouflage themselves (except Travis Clark, his hair would be a dead give away), I turned to Savi and surprise attacked her with war paint, smearing a handprint across her face. She squealed in protest but she was smiling and her eyes were sparkling.

“What? I can’t have any of these doofuses shooting at you!” I defended with a toothy grin.

“I can take care of myself, thank you very much,” she said, sticking her tongue out at me and then proceeding to smear some paint on my face, too. “There. Now you look pretty.” I opened my mouth to object, but we got interrupted by Mike handing us our “weapons”. I nudged Savannah and gave her a wink, she smiled crookedly at me.

“Okay!” the organizer called. “Team A—” he pointed to the PTV-Mayday Parade-Savannah team “—you guys go out and hide! Then we will send Team B out to hunt you down,” he said almost wickedly—I guess organizing and monitoring these kinds of games all of the time as your job could make a person get really into this. “If you get hit, you must come to this roped off area. Honesty system guys, but,” he chuckled a little, “you’ll be covered in paint so I guess we’ll know if you were honest or not.” Then, he blew a whistle and we were off.

The All Time Low guys started yodeling like primitives as we scurried away into the course, splitting up into pairs and groups of three.

“So basically the team with the most people alive at the end wins?” Savi clarified, and I smiled because she had stayed with me. Not that I doubted she wouldn’t, but still. I leaned against a tree and nodded.

“Yup. So when they come around, we have to try and shoot them, too,” I said. “I can’t decide if we’re at a disadvantage or advantage hiding out first,” she said, her face slightly twisting and I chuckled at how seriously she was contemplating this.

“Come here,” I whispered and reached out to her, pulling her closer and then down so we were almost sitting on the ground, blending in more with our surroundings. I leaned in and whispered in her ear, “If we be really quiet we can sneak up on them when they walk by.” She nodded enthusiastically.

I didn’t expect Savannah, who was pretty shy and reserved, to be so into this—it was adorable and I couldn’t decide if the thumping in my chest was from the suspense of the game or from her being so close to me. I figured it was a little bit of both. With the skin on her cheeks not covered by the war paint, I noticed a small blush creeping on her face, her lips tugging upward in a smile as her eyes scanned the course, looking for any flashes of red hair or any ridiculously wild men of All Time Low. I wondered what she was smiling at but then she glanced at me.

“Are you going to help, or what?” she teased, and I bit my lip a little as I realized she was blushing and smiling because she saw me staring at her. Oops. She giggled softly and turned her head back around, looking around. It seemed like she was enjoying this, like it was a nice distraction from everything. It was like turning her mental battles—Casey, the fact I knew about what she used to do, her car crash nightmares—into physical ones that she could actually kill off. I grinned a little and turned my head before I got caught staring.

“Oh, look!” I whisper-yelled, spotting movement by a tree about ten feet away. Savannah narrowed her eyes at the area, and after a few minutes of staring we both concluded that it was someone on the opposite team—they had bright pink armbands on.

“Sacrifice!” someone suddenly screamed, sprinting out from behind a tree and diving into the land. He was immediately ambushed by splashes of yellow, blue, and red. Dramatically, he fell to the ground and wailed, and Savi and I cracked up—it was Jack, that fucker.

“Well, well, well,” someone said from the other direction. We turned our heads abruptly to see Alex and Rian standing before us, their weapons in our faces.

“Aw, man,” Savannah snapped her fingers, seeing that we were about to die.

“I see what you did there, guys. Nice strategy,” I nodded over to how they had used Jack as a distraction in order to corner us.

“I see what you’re trying to do, Vic,” Alex smirked. “But it ain’t gonna work. Hand over the girl,” he ordered. I laughed.

“Heck no!”

“Says the guy with the gun to his head!” he sang with a smile.

“What’s the point of that?” I asked as we slowly stood up to be at their level. “Just kill us already!” I cried dramatically.

“I like playing with my prey!” Alex said, his face serious but I could tell he was trying not to laugh. “And we’re using Savannah as a hostage. One by one your team will come out of hiding to rescue her. Just hand her over, and no body gets hurt,” he snickered. “Not yet, anyway.”

I had to hand it to him, the plan was genius. Since all of us were hiding, it was difficult for them to find us and easier for us to kill them. So naturally they would devise a plan to lure us out of our hiding spots. I never knew Alex was such a clever guy. Then I glanced at Rian and figured he was the mastermind. This was definitely his revenge for me pulling the ‘pantera’ card at him the other day. He winked at me and I knew my thoughts were correct.

“Don’t try and play hero, Fuentes. She’ll be in good hands,” Rian said.

“Either that, or we shoot both of you now. Your choice,” Alex said competitively.

“C’mon, little lady,” Rian said, and Alex held up his painball gun while Rian lowered his, hooking an arm gently through Savannah’s. She sighed and looked back at me.

“You better save me or I’ll kill you myself!” she stuck her tongue out at me and I shook my head with a laugh. They led her up to the top of a rock—a good view of the entire course. Rian sat down next to Savannah and they talked while Alex was looking out. He gave me a thumbs up and I flipped him off. For a moment I debated getting myself shot so I could be with Savannah more, but I decided that that was a tad pathetic and I should probably have a little fun.

Just as I turned around to find the others, I was greeted by Zach of All Time Low and two We The Kings’ members—Travis and Danny. Why all three of them were ganging up on me was beyond me. “Aw, man,” I snapped my fingers, just as Savannah had done earlier. Before they could say anything, there was a popping sound and paintballs were flying everywhere. I dove to the side and, somehow, avoided all of them. I noticed Mike to the side, he gave me a wave and continued to shoot at the enemy, they were all yelping as the paintballs hit them and running around, trying to avoid them. I laughed hysterically while crawling to the side, getting a few shots off on my own. I turned to the rock where Alex and Rian were, their mouths dropped as they didn’t expect our attack. I saw some Mayday Parade guys scattered around, we had the enemy mostly surrounded, except the last two We The Kings’ members, Hunter and Drew. Savannah was happily clapping.

“Guys! You fucked it up!” Alex whined as he watched four of his teammates die.

“How about that master plan, Rian?” I yelled out.

“It’s not over yet! We still have your girl!” Alex called, and I won’t lie his words made me blush a little, I never blush easily, and my stomach twisted. I turned my head before they could see me smile. I soon found out that Jaime and Tony were out already, so were Hunter and Drew. Brooks, Jeremy, and Derek were out, too, leaving just me, Mike, Alex, and Jake—and Savannah.

“Okay, guys, four and a half against two. We got this,” Mike said in our huddle. I furrowed my brows and straightened out a little.

“Four and a half?” I questioned.

“Savannah counts as half a person. She’s in a compromising position,” Mike reasoned, causing us all to laugh.

“Right,” I nodded. I glanced back in her direction and noticed that they had taken away her gun. She waved and I smiled.

“Okay, operation save the girl, break!” Mike cheered. Considering Alex and Rian were the only ones left, we headed in their direction. They looked nervous and glanced at each other quickly, and then they nodded and pointed a paintball gun at Savannah.

“If you’re going to shoot me, at least do it from a few more feet away so it doesn’t hurt as bad,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. I wiped the stupid grin off of my face and continued to inch forward.

“Vic!” Mike whisper yelled at me. I raised an eyebrow. He motioned for me to turn away and sneak up from a different direction. Alex and Rian wouldn’t notice because there were so many of us, and they were nervously waddling around, deciding what to do. The rest of the guys traveled in a big clump, a pack, so it looked like we all were there. They didn’t see me peel off and sneak behind them.

With two easy shots from a fair distance, I shot Alex in the butt—he yelped—and Rian in the back. They both cursed and we all cheered in success. I pranced over to Savannah and offered her my hand. She giggled and grabbed it.

“My hero!” she sang, throwing her arms around my neck. I laughed and patted her back. That same pull I felt last night and this morning returned, but, again, I wasn’t confident that she felt it, too. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of the other guys, though; I didn’t want to embarrass her by my cheesiness.

“Urgh!” I exclaimed, hissing as a paintball splattered into my rib cage—those things were surprisingly very painful. Savannah laughed and then grimaced, too, and I saw a pink splotch on her knee.

“Dang,” she laughed, shaking her head. We stepped away from each other and looked for the culprit.

“Friendly fire?” Mike tried. I flipped him off and grabbed Savannah’s hand, hopping down to the rest of the guys as we all walked back to the starting point. “I’ve always wanted to shoot you, Vic,” Mike said. I laughed and punched his arm.

---

We piled into a booth - well actually it turned out to be two booths because there was that many of us, we were rowdy and being loud but the waitress that served us didn't seem to mind, she took our orders with a smile and went away again. It took a while for our burgers and shakes to come, this place had a policy where they'd only bring people's drinks and meals out together and considering there was a huge crowd of us, that took a long time. Savi and I both ordered a vanilla shake, it came in a tall glass with a straw and the presentation was awesome, we both took a sip at the same time and Savannah's eyes lit up.

"This is the bomb dot com!" She commented, she was right, it tasted delicious.

"That's what I like to hear!" Kellin Quinn yelled from the second booth and she gave him an air high five, a small chuckle accompanying it.

I liked this, it was fun, the atmosphere was so positive and fun and I really felt like I was having the time of my life, things couldn't possibly get any better - I mean, I get to travel across America playing Warped Tour with my brother and my two best friends, I've met so many amazing friends whilst doing so and even the girl I like is here too. Nothing could beat this!

I tried not to dwell on the fact Savannah would be leaving soon enough but I'll admit my smile did fade some. I think Savi noticed because she elbowed me gently and when my eyes met hers she smiled at me, it was a simple smile, one that told me she understood.

I looked over at Jaime who was at the other side of the booth, sat between Jake and Jesse Lawson (he hates sitting on the end, he always had to sit in the middle or he feels out of the loop) and there was more burger around his face than in the bun. I began to crack up, the dude was an animal!

"Himes you got a little face on your burger." I said dryly and he flipped his sauce covered middle finger at me, which made me laugh even more.

It always seemed strange to me how quick time passed, you blink or drift away for just a second and the day is gone, replaced by a moon and darkness. All the band's retreated back to their tour buses and Mike, Tony, Casey, Jaime, Savannah and I headed back to ours - I'd wanted to suggest a party for tonight on the bus, I felt so up for it, I felt high on life. But I could party any other time, I didn't want to waste my time with Savannah by being completely intoxicated and passing out.

"Are you tired?" I asked Savannah as I tossed her one of my shirts to put on, she scrunched up her nose and shrugged.

`"Kinda," she shrugged again, "but I don't want to waste time sleeping when I'm leaving soon." Her mouth turned downwards and I paced over to her, brushing some fallen tendrils out of her face.

"How about we watch a movie?" I suggested, that way we could still spend time together but still fall asleep too. She smiled and nodded and I headed towards our DVD collection while she changed quickly. "Okay, so pick between Coraline, UP, Monster or Wayne's World 1 or 2." I told her as she entered the room from getting changed and spread them out on the floor so she could see them all. I tried not to stare too much and dwell on the fact she looked better in my shirt than I did.

"Wayne's World 2, for sure!" She grinned and so did I. Wayne's World was one of my favourites.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you." I replied with a chuckle while swiping the DVD and moving over to the DVD player to set the movie up, a slight blush appeared on her cheeks and that made me smile. I never wanted her to leave. I hit play and we lay on the couch together, a blanket covering us both, not that we needed it, my skin felt like it was on fire. Especially where her skin touched mine. I focused on the movie, her eyes were trained on the television so it felt wrong to be so focused on her.

"Take me, Garth!"

"Where? I'm low on gas and you need a jacket."

We both cracked up at that, no matter how many times I watched that movie it would never stop being funny. "You know, I'm going to call a song that one day." I thought aloud, her head twisted upwards so she could look at me.

"What? Take me, Garth?" She frowned, like that was a ridiculous name for a song, and she was right it was.

"No," I laughed, "I'm low on gas and you need a jacket." She mulled it over and then a big smile plastered itself on her face.

"Wow that's a great idea!" She replied enthusiastically and I smiled. Now that definitely had to happen.

"Can I be frank?"

"Okay, can I still be Garth?

We laughed even harder this time and when we ceased to laugh anymore she snuggled into me.

This moment was perfect.

Notes