As the steaming water runs down my body, I rest my head against the tiled wall of the shower; my hair plastering itself across my face as my tears mix in with the running water that is making it’s way down my shaking body. All the while I stayed like that all I could think about was how dirty I felt while the guilt ate away at me from the inside out as the realisation that I had just cheated on Mike can back to me before settling on the thought of how confused I was about the situation as a whole.

After standing there for another five minutes, I turn the shower off with a shaky hand and grab hold of the towel that had been placed on the towel rail and wrap it around my body, the warmth of the towel making me shiver slightly with contentment. That familiar feeling was one that I used to have whenever I was around Mike; just thinking about him caused his handsome face to flash in my mind as the guilt overrides my emotions once again, taking away the contentment that I rarely had time to register.

“Mike…” I sigh as I look at my reflection in the steamed up mirror that was hung above the sink; my usually warm brown eyes looked lifeless, my dark hair sticking to my head and neck, the stray drops of water sent a chill down my spine as it ran down my skin. Sighing, I take a moment to clear my head before making my way over to the bathroom door, reaching up a shaking hand for the lock.

Turtle…Baby…

I freeze in mid-step, my hand still reaching for the lock, the other resting on the door handle. That couldn’t have been what I thought it was…It just couldn’t have been. I close my eyes and shake my head, pushing the crazy thought to the back of my mind before continuing to unlock the bathroom door.

Tony…

I freeze again as I open the bathroom door, maybe I had imagined it the first time, but hearing it the second time, I know that my mind is not making it up. I know that that was Mike’s voice, his gentle tone slightly broken and weak; the sense of sadness that was laced into it was easy enough for me to detect, it was haunting just how eerie it had sounded, it was almost ghostly…

“No. Mike…Please. NO!” I choke as I shake my head at breakneck speed as I peg it out of the bathroom and towards Jaime’s guest room where he had kindly placed a fresh set of clothes for me onto the bed alongside my phone. I quickly dry off and get dressed before snatching up my phone and dialling Mike’s ever-so-familiar-to-me number, my heart racing furiously against my chest as I wait for him to pick up, when he doesn’t I silently let out a curse as I wait for the beep indicating for me to leave a message. “Hey Mikey, it‘s Tony. Listen, when you get this message please call me back, I‘m begging you, please. I need to know that you‘re okay, and I want you to know that I still care about you, so please be okay and…call me back. I…I love you!”

The last three words were a whisper as I pulled the phone away from my ear and disconnect the call, I hastily stuff the phone into my pocket before heading back out into the hallway. I was debating silently whether to face Jaime again tonight or to head into the music room for a few hours to try and forget about what he had just done to me when I hear Vic and Jaime having a rather heated conversation at the bottom of the stairwell.

“I can‘t get a hold of him. He‘s not answering any of my calls, Jaime.” Vic’s concerned voice fills the hallway as he paces nervously past Jaime who was leant casually against the hallway wall, his arms crossed against his chest and his eyes were closed as he leant his head back against the wall for support.

“So what. Who cares?” Jaime growls coldly as he opens his eyes to glare at Vic as he paces past him yet again, causing Jaime to sigh in agitation and Vic to stop dead in his tracks.

“He’s my brother, Jaime! I care about him…and so do you so don‘t even try and deny it!” Vic replies exasperatedly as he watches Jaime with a serious expression, the sadness and anxiety ringing clear in both his voice and in his eyes.

“What makes you think that I care for him, Vic?” Jaime asks him as he pulls himself away from the wall to stand up to his full height while taking a step towards Vic. “Especially after what he’s done to…”

I take in a deep breath and walk quietly over to the banister, my ears listening intently to every single word waiting for Vic’s response and Jaime’s reasons to his sudden coldness towards Vic; surely this all can’t be because of me, can it?

“Look, I know that you care about Tony, hell I care about him too but you seem to be caring a hell of a lot more than what you should be and I get that, seriously I do. Mike‘s my brother…and I know that you see him as your brother too. You two have been through so much shit together so I know that you still care about him, despite all of the things that he‘s done recently.”

Vic lets a silence follow his words, more for effect than anything. I slowly and quietly creep to the edge of the stairs and sit with my back against the wall and my knees up to my chest as I focus my attention on Jaime’s expression; I can tell that he’s seriously contemplating Vic’s words, but what he’s really thinking about… I’m not sure.

“Maybe I seem to be a bit more closer to Tony than what I should be, but he‘s my best friend and I can‘t help but feel so protective over him; especially when your saint of a brother lashed out and attacked him for no damn reason! It‘s just…I feel like I don‘t even know him anymore, I don‘t even think that I know myself anymore.”

Jaime doesn’t look at Vic when he says those words, the look of confusion etched across his face is so fine and delicate; like an artist’s famous masterpiece hanging on a plain stretch of wall in a silent museum that hardly anyone ever visits anymore, even though it sits in the middle of an extremely busy city.

“Jaime. Listen to me. I don’t have that much of an idea about what’s going on between you, Tony and Mike and quite frankly; I’m not even sure that I want to know but did you even see Mike before he left? I mean, I only got a quick glimpse of him from the window upstairs but I swear, that he looked exactly like he did the day before that night.”

Just at the mere mention of ‘that night’, I saw Jaime’s expression change almost immediately from cold stubbornness to shock and fear? What is Vic talking about? What does he mean by ‘that night’? What happened to Mike? I put my legs down from my chest and sit up even straighter against the wall, my ears even more aware of what’s being said yet eager at the same time to find out more about the night in question.

“He wouldn’t…Not again. He promised me.” Jaime’s voice sounded scared and was barely more than a whisper, that ever so slowly drifted its way up to me, fear piercing through my veins; heading up to my brain before sending a sharp and unbearable stabbing pain to my heart.

Letting out a pained gasp, I lean forward and clutch a hand desperately at my chest, my breathing getting heavier as I sit back against the wall, the need to cry out filling up inside of me. There were too many emotions going on through my mind for my body to deal with all at once. I take in a shaky breath as I look back towards Jaime, who was still completely unaware of my eavesdropping presence, and my eyes found him slumped on the floor by the front door, his entire body gone limp; his sad eyes staring at the wall in front of him with no expression on his face at all. I gasp lightly as I stumble quietly yet quickly back up to my feet but freeze again when Vic kneels down in front of Jaime, placing a comforting hand on his fragile and quivering shoulder.

“Jaime. Please, just try and call him from your cell; he must want to talk to you, he did that night but you…” Vic starts to say but Jaime screams in agony at the unwanted thoughts that were making their way through his mind at Vic‘s words.

“STOP IT…SHUT UP!!”

There’s anger amongst the agony of his words, the tears streaming from his gorgeous brown eyes down his handsome face; it’s enough to let the tears fall from my own eyes, just watching him cry is sending me into a depressing spiral of pain and darkness.

“Jaime. You HAVE to remember what happened to Mike then. It‘s the only way I can get my point across to you. He‘s not stable, Himes…You know that he isn‘t, he‘s still recovering; it may not look like it, but I’m telling you that it‘s true.” Vic says sharply as he pulls Jaime’s wrists away from his face so that he can look deep into his eyes. “Do you honestly want to fall back into the same position knowing what happened the last time by not talking to him now? You don‘t, do you?”

“Just shut up…please. I can’t think about…He wouldn’t…He promised me!” Jaime sobs as Vic pulls him towards him into a comforting embrace. The sight of Jaime crying, sends another piece of my heart into oblivion.

Jaime takes in a deep breath as he looks up into Vic’s eyes, his hand wiping away the tears before he lets out a small sigh in defeat. I take this as my chance to quietly stand back up and lean against the wall slightly as support before moving slowly away from the edge; keeping my eyes on Jaime and Vic while waiting for the right moment to make my presence known to them.

“Can you go and check on Tony for me please?” Jaime asks him quietly as he starts to stand back up onto his own feet; Vic giving him some support just in case he stumbled back down to the floor again.

I guess that this is as good a cue as any to make my presence known to them. Taking in a deep breath, I take a couple of steps down the stairwell, clearing my throat in the process before speaking up.

“There’s no need, Jaime. I overheard everything and I’m going over to Mike’s place with you.” I say confidently as I finish my descent down the stairs, over towards Jaime and Vic, both of them wearing guilty expressions on their face as they watch me approach them, the tears leaving marks down my cheeks.

“Tone…” Jaime starts but I shake my head and he stops talking instantly.

“I’m not arguing over this matter with you, Jaime. I need to see him. I need to make sure that he’s okay and to apologize.” I say quietly as I avoid eye contact with him, knowing all too well about what’s about to come next.

“You apologize to him? Come on, Tone! What on earth do you have to apologize to him for?!” Jaime screeches, his voice breaking as he reaches a hand up to his throat as a small cough escapes through his lips, only seconds later does he wrap his arms around my waist, his head resting on my shoulder. “He should be apologizing to you, not the other way around.”

“Well, for starters I need to apologize for sleeping with you, and…” I start but before I can finish what I had to say, Jaime was pulling himself away from me; just by glancing at him I could tell that my words had made the blood start to boil up inside of him, his anger wanting to bust out free at me like a fierce, stormy wave of pure fire and rage.

“You slept with Jaime?” Vic questions disapprovingly but Jaime ignores his comment and focuses on directing his words to me and me alone.

“So you feel bad about sleeping with me, even though you and him weren‘t going out at the time? Jesus, Tony! Am I really that bad a person that you have to regret being close with?!”

“I didn‘t say anything of the sort Jaime. I was just saying that…it was wrong for me to sleep with you so soon after an argument with Mike, it just makes me out to be even worse than him. I‘m sorry Hime-Time, I really am. I do like you but…you‘re my best friend and I just can‘t see you in any other way than that. I‘m sorry. You can hate me if you want, hell I deserve it, but I‘m not going to lie about how I feel towards you.”

In an attempt to lighten the mood between us, I take a step towards him and place a light kiss on his cheek before grabbing a hold of his hand and leading him over towards the front door.

“Come on. Are we going to head over to Mike‘s place or not?” I ask him calmly, trying not to let my nerves and anxiety show at the awful thoughts about what we might find when we arrive.

“Tony…”

“Don’t, Jaime. It’s fine, everything is okay between us, just…don’t ruin it. Please?” I plead softly, looking into his deep brown eyes, trying to find any sign of defeat within them.

Jaime doesn’t say anything in response but he nods his head lightly as he looks towards Vic who nods back at him before he turns round to head back up the stairs and to the music room, a few seconds later we heard the door click shut and we were the only two people left downstairs, our fingers interlinked with each other; a small smile playing across our lips briefly as we turn to face each other properly.

“Shall we?” Jaime asks in a whisper as he inclines his head towards the front door. I nod instantly and Jaime smiles at me, the look of concern still set into his features; concern about what we would find at Mike’s place, concern about Mike himself and whether or not he’s alright, and to tell you the truth, I’m feeling the exact same concerns for my love.

Notes

Hey, I apologize for the lateness of this update but I've been having some technical difficulties, especially with my laptop, so I'm having to use my old one as the one that my Grandad's leant to me hasn't got a word document program on it.

So...here it is; enjoy!

- SoWrongItsLottie