One Hundred Sleepless Nights
Four.
“Do you think that he‘s alright?” I whisper into the silence, my voice sounding hoarse from all of the crying, looking up at Jaime’s still form.
“Hmm.” Jaime hums before shaking his head before looking down at me wrapped in his arms as we lay on the couch like we were before I had fallen asleep. “Who?”
“You know who, Jaime. Michael.” I can barely say his name without getting choked up, as I force myself to look away from Jaime’s dazzling gaze.
“Hey, it’s alright.” Jaime lulls as he places a kiss on the top of my head before continuing quietly. “Michael hurt you, you don‘t need to worry about him. He‘s not going to hurt you anymore, I‘ll make sure of that. Don‘t you worry.”
“Jaime, don’t hurt him please, you can’t…I won’t…” I start to panic as I pull away from his embrace, but Jaime just looks at me with a sympathetic look on his face before he pulls me gently back into this arms, his left hand stroking my hair as a way of calming me down.
“Hey, hey…shh, calm down Turtle. I just want to protect you but I can’t do that if you…” Jaime trails off as he looks away from me, pain clearly visible in his eyes.
“Jaime?” I whisper curiously, gently placing a hand against his cheek and turning his face back to me; his chocolate-brown eyes not daring to connect with my own.
“I can’t do that if you’re…if you’re not mine.”
Jaime’s words shock me into silence…the amount of emotion in his voice, matches the amount of pain in his eyes, like he’s in agony at his own words. The soft touch of his hands on my skin as he brushes a stray strand of hair from my face, he seemed hesitant about the action before he finally looks down at me; his beautiful eyes connecting with my own.
“Jaime…” I start to whisper but he silences me by places his soft lips against mine, kissing me with as much passion as he could muster, his arms wrapped tightly around me, not wanting me to move away from him.
I could feel our breathing speeding up out of time as he deepens each kiss, I could feel his body pressing desperately against mine as he reaches for the buttons on my shirt, trying his hardest to undo them in record time; eager for what he’s about to do to me.
“Jaime. I-” I pant as he kisses my neck, removing my shirt in the process as he starts to kiss my body more frantically, nipping at my skin between kisses, making me gasp in pleasure and shock.
“Tone…Don’t.” Jaime moans lightly as he finishes removing the rest of my clothes before taking off his own. “I want you to…let me…take you, now!”
I try to pull away from underneath him but compared to Jaime, I’m weak and it’s his kisses that are keeping me where I am, they’re like ecstasy to me. Jaime grabs hold of both of my wrists and pins them over my head, kissing me fiercely as he gets in position on top of my quivering body. I felt Jaime’s hot breath against my skin and I couldn’t help but bite down on my lip, suppressing a pleasurable moan as he nibbles on my earlobe.
“Jaime…” I scream, my body shivering with pain as he thrusts himself into me without any warning, his lips connecting with my neck as he bites down playfully before moving up to bite down on my lip.
“Tur…tle…” Jaime moans, his lips curving up into a smile as he moves his hands down to my hips, digging in his nails enough to draw blood, making me wince, before moving them back up to my wrists, keeping them pinned above me as he thrusts himself deeper in side of me as I close my eyes tightly; my mouth suppressing the urge to scream out in agony as I wait for him to slow down and get off of me.
“Jaime…Please…Stop!” I groan between his thrusts, each one as painful as the last as I try to wriggle my way out from underneath him and out of his grasp. “I don‘t…want this!”
“Don‘t…fight…me, Turtle…” Jaime growls lightly but fiercely, his nails digging into my wrists as he deepens his thrusts even more to the point of my mind and body not being able to take any of the pain anymore. I take in a pained breath as tears spring to my eyes, the pain coursing through my body in sharp throbs as Jaime reaches his climax and let’s himself go inside of me before panting; “You’re…Mine…Now!”
This should have been a moment that I would have given anything for, a special moment with my best friend in a whirl of passion and tranquillity, but the amount of anger and dominance in Jaime, scared me more than I wanted it to…hell, he practically just raped me. I open my eyes again as his thrusts start to subside and see him staring down at me; at the tears streaming down my cheeks, to my clenched fists underneath his own vice-like grip. His usually warm chocolate brown eyes, had turned cold and dark; they weren’t the eyes that I knew…the anger inside of him had taken over his pupils as he collapses exhaustedly on top of my shaking body as he releases my wrists from his grasp. As he places another kiss to my neck, I can’t help but turn my head away from him, a small whimper escaping past my lips as I close my eyes again even tighter as I stifle a small cry. How could he do this to me?
“Turtle?” Jaime’s quiet voice echoes throughout the room as the pressure of his body moves so that he’s lying beside me, allowing me to turn my aching body so that my back was facing him as I let out shameful sob as I think about Michael; as much as I’m upset with him, he would have never hurt me the way that my best friend, Jaime, just did.
I whimper as Jaime touches my arm lightly, my body curling up into a tight ball as I keep my eyes closed trying my hardest to stop the tears from escaping.
“Tony, I’m…I’m sorry.” Jaime whispers apologetically before he sits up and lets out a sigh, his head in his hands as he ruffles his hair. “I’m…sorry!”
I don’t say anything in return to him, I just simply take in a deep, hard breath before turning slowly to face him, wrapping my arms protectively around my body and letting my hair fall across my face.
“I really am sorry, Tone…I guess that I just…” Jaime says pleadingly before continuing in a frustrated fashion. “I guess that I just let my anger towards Michael take over my emotions, which evidently led me to get a little too…”
“Possessive?” I state quietly, my voice cracking as a steal a glance up at him.
“For lack of a better word, yeah. It‘s just that you mean so damn much to me and when Michael…When you told me what he did, and having him show up here so soon after you got back…It made me angry as well as making me blame myself.” Jaime answers, his tone reflecting that of defeat as he lets out a frustrated sigh.
“How can what happened between me and Mike be your fault, Jaime?” I ask him curiously, as I reach down to grab my boxers from the floor, before taking small movements to put them back on, allowing my body to accommodate the pain that was still surrounding the assaulted area before pulling my shirt back on. “It had nothing to do with you.”
Jaime looks at me for a second, his eyes so pleading and sad, before he looks away from me. Just in that small second, I saw it all; the guilt in his expression for not being able to protect me from Michael, guilt for not being the perfect guy that I so desperately needed in my life, and guilt for what he had just done to me. It was all there, and I was glad of it…until he started to talk, at least.
“Because I…I wasn‘t there for you when you needed me to be.”
Hearing the frustration and regret in his voice, made me reach out a hesitant hand to take his own, which causes him to look up at me in surprise and sadness. I force myself to move a little closer to him, allowing myself to sit against him while taking in slow, quiet breaths as I reach up to touch his face, stroking it softly; an action that I’m hesitant about considering what he just put my body through.
“Jaime…You don‘t need or can be there for me all of the time. I can take care of myself; it may not seem like it but I do know how to handle things given a little bit of time, but I…” I start to comfort him, before turning away again.
“But you what?” Jaime asks softly as he turns his body so that he’s facing me.
“Nothing. I’m going for a shower.” I sigh in defeat as I gather up my strength to get up off the couch, pain shooting through my back as I let out a pained gasp.
Before Jaime can say anything, I’m rushing as quick as my body would allow me to, leaving Jaime alone feeling sad, confused and angry at both himself and Mike. Why am I doing this to Mike and Jaime? Why did I just allow Jaime to basically rape me? Was it because I’m still distraught at Michael for what he did to me with that slut of a woman? Or was it because I secretly wanted Jaime and have just been living a lie with Michael? I just feel so damn confused and helpless…I don’t know what to do about anymore. Why did I allow myself to get involved with the two guys that I love and care about more than anything? I didn’t want to find myself in this situation where I have to choose between them, but life’s a bitch like that and has thrown me into that situation anyway.
As I reach the bathroom, I rush in and slam the door shut behind me, locking it hastily before sliding my body down to the cold surface of the floor, my breathing getting faster as the sobs begin to rise within me yet again. I don’t think that I can remember a time when I wasn’t crying, as that’s all that I seem to be capable of recently…that and leading on my best friend. My hands are shaking, my heart is racing and my thoughts are scattered everywhere in my mind; but the ones that stand out most to me are the ones of Mike. It’s only then do I realise that I’ve made the world’s biggest mistake. It’s Michael Christopher Fuentes that I love…not, Jaime Alberto Preciado. What’ve I done…
“Hmm.” Jaime hums before shaking his head before looking down at me wrapped in his arms as we lay on the couch like we were before I had fallen asleep. “Who?”
“You know who, Jaime. Michael.” I can barely say his name without getting choked up, as I force myself to look away from Jaime’s dazzling gaze.
“Hey, it’s alright.” Jaime lulls as he places a kiss on the top of my head before continuing quietly. “Michael hurt you, you don‘t need to worry about him. He‘s not going to hurt you anymore, I‘ll make sure of that. Don‘t you worry.”
“Jaime, don’t hurt him please, you can’t…I won’t…” I start to panic as I pull away from his embrace, but Jaime just looks at me with a sympathetic look on his face before he pulls me gently back into this arms, his left hand stroking my hair as a way of calming me down.
“Hey, hey…shh, calm down Turtle. I just want to protect you but I can’t do that if you…” Jaime trails off as he looks away from me, pain clearly visible in his eyes.
“Jaime?” I whisper curiously, gently placing a hand against his cheek and turning his face back to me; his chocolate-brown eyes not daring to connect with my own.
“I can’t do that if you’re…if you’re not mine.”
Jaime’s words shock me into silence…the amount of emotion in his voice, matches the amount of pain in his eyes, like he’s in agony at his own words. The soft touch of his hands on my skin as he brushes a stray strand of hair from my face, he seemed hesitant about the action before he finally looks down at me; his beautiful eyes connecting with my own.
“Jaime…” I start to whisper but he silences me by places his soft lips against mine, kissing me with as much passion as he could muster, his arms wrapped tightly around me, not wanting me to move away from him.
I could feel our breathing speeding up out of time as he deepens each kiss, I could feel his body pressing desperately against mine as he reaches for the buttons on my shirt, trying his hardest to undo them in record time; eager for what he’s about to do to me.
“Jaime. I-” I pant as he kisses my neck, removing my shirt in the process as he starts to kiss my body more frantically, nipping at my skin between kisses, making me gasp in pleasure and shock.
“Tone…Don’t.” Jaime moans lightly as he finishes removing the rest of my clothes before taking off his own. “I want you to…let me…take you, now!”
I try to pull away from underneath him but compared to Jaime, I’m weak and it’s his kisses that are keeping me where I am, they’re like ecstasy to me. Jaime grabs hold of both of my wrists and pins them over my head, kissing me fiercely as he gets in position on top of my quivering body. I felt Jaime’s hot breath against my skin and I couldn’t help but bite down on my lip, suppressing a pleasurable moan as he nibbles on my earlobe.
“Jaime…” I scream, my body shivering with pain as he thrusts himself into me without any warning, his lips connecting with my neck as he bites down playfully before moving up to bite down on my lip.
“Tur…tle…” Jaime moans, his lips curving up into a smile as he moves his hands down to my hips, digging in his nails enough to draw blood, making me wince, before moving them back up to my wrists, keeping them pinned above me as he thrusts himself deeper in side of me as I close my eyes tightly; my mouth suppressing the urge to scream out in agony as I wait for him to slow down and get off of me.
“Jaime…Please…Stop!” I groan between his thrusts, each one as painful as the last as I try to wriggle my way out from underneath him and out of his grasp. “I don‘t…want this!”
“Don‘t…fight…me, Turtle…” Jaime growls lightly but fiercely, his nails digging into my wrists as he deepens his thrusts even more to the point of my mind and body not being able to take any of the pain anymore. I take in a pained breath as tears spring to my eyes, the pain coursing through my body in sharp throbs as Jaime reaches his climax and let’s himself go inside of me before panting; “You’re…Mine…Now!”
This should have been a moment that I would have given anything for, a special moment with my best friend in a whirl of passion and tranquillity, but the amount of anger and dominance in Jaime, scared me more than I wanted it to…hell, he practically just raped me. I open my eyes again as his thrusts start to subside and see him staring down at me; at the tears streaming down my cheeks, to my clenched fists underneath his own vice-like grip. His usually warm chocolate brown eyes, had turned cold and dark; they weren’t the eyes that I knew…the anger inside of him had taken over his pupils as he collapses exhaustedly on top of my shaking body as he releases my wrists from his grasp. As he places another kiss to my neck, I can’t help but turn my head away from him, a small whimper escaping past my lips as I close my eyes again even tighter as I stifle a small cry. How could he do this to me?
“Turtle?” Jaime’s quiet voice echoes throughout the room as the pressure of his body moves so that he’s lying beside me, allowing me to turn my aching body so that my back was facing him as I let out shameful sob as I think about Michael; as much as I’m upset with him, he would have never hurt me the way that my best friend, Jaime, just did.
I whimper as Jaime touches my arm lightly, my body curling up into a tight ball as I keep my eyes closed trying my hardest to stop the tears from escaping.
“Tony, I’m…I’m sorry.” Jaime whispers apologetically before he sits up and lets out a sigh, his head in his hands as he ruffles his hair. “I’m…sorry!”
I don’t say anything in return to him, I just simply take in a deep, hard breath before turning slowly to face him, wrapping my arms protectively around my body and letting my hair fall across my face.
“I really am sorry, Tone…I guess that I just…” Jaime says pleadingly before continuing in a frustrated fashion. “I guess that I just let my anger towards Michael take over my emotions, which evidently led me to get a little too…”
“Possessive?” I state quietly, my voice cracking as a steal a glance up at him.
“For lack of a better word, yeah. It‘s just that you mean so damn much to me and when Michael…When you told me what he did, and having him show up here so soon after you got back…It made me angry as well as making me blame myself.” Jaime answers, his tone reflecting that of defeat as he lets out a frustrated sigh.
“How can what happened between me and Mike be your fault, Jaime?” I ask him curiously, as I reach down to grab my boxers from the floor, before taking small movements to put them back on, allowing my body to accommodate the pain that was still surrounding the assaulted area before pulling my shirt back on. “It had nothing to do with you.”
Jaime looks at me for a second, his eyes so pleading and sad, before he looks away from me. Just in that small second, I saw it all; the guilt in his expression for not being able to protect me from Michael, guilt for not being the perfect guy that I so desperately needed in my life, and guilt for what he had just done to me. It was all there, and I was glad of it…until he started to talk, at least.
“Because I…I wasn‘t there for you when you needed me to be.”
Hearing the frustration and regret in his voice, made me reach out a hesitant hand to take his own, which causes him to look up at me in surprise and sadness. I force myself to move a little closer to him, allowing myself to sit against him while taking in slow, quiet breaths as I reach up to touch his face, stroking it softly; an action that I’m hesitant about considering what he just put my body through.
“Jaime…You don‘t need or can be there for me all of the time. I can take care of myself; it may not seem like it but I do know how to handle things given a little bit of time, but I…” I start to comfort him, before turning away again.
“But you what?” Jaime asks softly as he turns his body so that he’s facing me.
“Nothing. I’m going for a shower.” I sigh in defeat as I gather up my strength to get up off the couch, pain shooting through my back as I let out a pained gasp.
Before Jaime can say anything, I’m rushing as quick as my body would allow me to, leaving Jaime alone feeling sad, confused and angry at both himself and Mike. Why am I doing this to Mike and Jaime? Why did I just allow Jaime to basically rape me? Was it because I’m still distraught at Michael for what he did to me with that slut of a woman? Or was it because I secretly wanted Jaime and have just been living a lie with Michael? I just feel so damn confused and helpless…I don’t know what to do about anymore. Why did I allow myself to get involved with the two guys that I love and care about more than anything? I didn’t want to find myself in this situation where I have to choose between them, but life’s a bitch like that and has thrown me into that situation anyway.
As I reach the bathroom, I rush in and slam the door shut behind me, locking it hastily before sliding my body down to the cold surface of the floor, my breathing getting faster as the sobs begin to rise within me yet again. I don’t think that I can remember a time when I wasn’t crying, as that’s all that I seem to be capable of recently…that and leading on my best friend. My hands are shaking, my heart is racing and my thoughts are scattered everywhere in my mind; but the ones that stand out most to me are the ones of Mike. It’s only then do I realise that I’ve made the world’s biggest mistake. It’s Michael Christopher Fuentes that I love…not, Jaime Alberto Preciado. What’ve I done…
what the hell update????????? please?????????? :(
7/14/14