I yawned and rolled over, wishing I had brought my own pillow. But I didn't, and now I don't have one. I sat up and looked at the tacky flower wallpaper of the hotel room. I glanced over at Jaime, he was still asleep, of course he was, the clock on the nightstand read 4:30 am. I got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom, digging around in my bag for my bag of blades first.I closed and locked the door behind me, I do not need Jaime walking in on what I'm about to do. I pulled down my pants and examined my thighs, they looked healed enough. I took out my trusty blade and pressed it into my thigh. I pulled a crossed and watched the blood fall down my leg. Without me even knowing it, more cuts appeared on both of my thighs. I winced a bit from the pain, but it felt good too. I felt alive.

I felt woozy too, but I didn't care, I kept going. I've been holding in all of my negative emotions for too long. I need to get them out before they eat me alive. I was getting light headed, but I needed to keep going. I need to feel the pain.

I feel to the ground, unable to stand anymore. The room around me was spinning, I couldn't focus on anything. I tried to get up, but I couldn't move. Black dots started filling my vision, I tried to blink them away, but the more I tried, the worse it got. I tried to keep my eyes open, but it was hard, I couldn't...

---

I opened my eyes and groaned. My head was pounding and my thighs ached. I sat up slowly and found that I was still in the bathroom of this cheap hotel. I looked down at my blood stained thighs, the cuts were deep, but they weren't bleeding anymore. The bathmat I was laying on had deep blood stains.

I got up slowly and and walked over to the sink. I took a towel off of the rack and wet it down. I had no idea what time it was, for all I know Jaime could've called the police when he noticed I was gone. Or he could still be asleep. I prayed to god for the latter.

I dabbed the cuts on my thigh, wincing every time. It hurt like fuck, and this time around, it wasn't a good hurt. One of the cuts started bleeding again, I sighed and pressed my hand into it. I heard that applying pressure helps with the bleeding, I don't know.

I digged around the bathroom before I found an old package of band aids. I stuck a ton of assorted band aids over the few cuts that were bleeding. When I was done, I moved my hands to survey my handy work. It wasn't the best job, but it worked... I wasn't in danger of bleeding out at least...

I pulled my pants back up and slowly walked out of the bathroom. I glanced around the room and saw Jaime was still asleep. I sighed in relief that he hadn't woken up while I was out... I looked at the alarm clock and saw it was 9:30... I was out for almost 5 hours... That can't be good. I mentally shrugged, I'm fine now though, a little light headed, but fine.

I grabbed my wallet and a key card from the table and quietly tip toed out of the room. I saw a vending machine somewhere in this hotel. I wandered the hallways until I found one. I put in a dollar and made my selection, a packet of fudge sundae poptarts, my favorite. I moved over to the drink one and selected a bottle of gatorade, I don't drink pop.

I walked back to the room and quietly let myself in. I saw that Jaime was awake now and sitting up in bed.

"Morning Tone," he said, sounding wide awake, "Where'd you go?"

"I woke up really hungry so I got a snack," I said, holding up my food.

He chuckled, "For a vegetarian, you're really unhealthy."

I rolled my eyes and took a bite of one of my poptarts, "So what time's practice today?" I asked.

"One, I think," he said, "I don't know... To early..."

I chuckled as he stood up and walked to the bathroom. I froze, remembering all of the blood.

"Hey Tone," he said, he sounded slightly disturbed and apprehensive, "I don't think we should stay at this hotel anymore..."

Notes

This chapter took so long to write holy hell. Like their was this terrible storm and my entire street is flooded. So during the storm I like shut down because I had a panic attack... ._. That's my excuse, sorrynotsorry... I'll make it up to you with another update today! :}