I know what your thinking "Andy why would you fuck it up with a girl like that?" Well I loved her, still do but the day I broke up with her the voice in my head got the best of me, telling me things like: What makes you think she loves you? Your worthless. You don't deserve her. And stupid me believed every word my head told me. I used to cut, especially then. She loved me and I know that. If I wouldn't have caved I would have an amazing girl on my arm. The day I broke up with her was two days before her birthday, and if I had have she never would have slept with Vic. It wouldn't be awkward for her. Worse then the pain I feel for loosing her is the pain I feel off her. She hurts all the time and is conflicted between the two I know she is. Which is fine, I know I'm not in the list of solutions. I love her I really do. She loved me once it could happen again right? I was her first boyfriend, her first love, I should have been her first time, but I had to be a dumb ass and let the voice get the best of me. I tried to kill myself after I found out she was dating Chase, She found me, and made me promise. I did and haven't cut not once since then, I made a promise. I love her so much. I would die for her, and in a way I have, giving her up to Chase broke my heart and tore me apart. I imagine this is what dieing feels like, just I hope when I do die, I hope it doesn't hurt this bad. I was made fun of in high school my first year for dating an eighth grader but I didn't care, Her love helped blind me from bullies. She is the one who convinced me to pick up the drums. I love the drums, there is no better way to let out what I'm feeling then beating on shit. The only down side is that with a guitar you can let people know your sad by playing something sad, but drummers keep it in you can't express sadness with the drums. Good thing too, or all our music would be sad. I play like I'm fine but really I'm not, and any day I get to wake up and see her face is a good day. I love that girl.

Notes

Sorry it's so short, Will write again today probably but still deciding who she is gonna end up being with...it's hard! Make sure you seven subscribers you tell me who you want her to be with. I need help. Comment please! :P I thought it would be nice to hear from Andy!