I stood there staring at the phone in my hands. I reread our conversation at least 8 times, deciding on what to do. My hands started to quiver and shake and my mind took over again.

He's not okay, and if he gets hurt it's going to be all your fault. Do something. NOW.

My hands really started to shake now, tears started falling from my eyes, my breathing getting heavier and heavier. I dialed his number as fast as I could and held my phone up to my ear.

It rang a couple of times before going straight to voicemail. I cursed at my phone and dialed his number again. This time it went straight to voicemail.I decided to leave one, hopefully he would stop whatever he was doing and read it.

"Dammit, Vic. Please stop ignoring my calls. Call me back right now or I don't fucking know what I'm going to do," I cried. The last sentence probably didn't make the least bit of sense, but I sent it anyways and threw my phone down. I began pacing around, trying to think of what else to do.

I could try to go find him, but that could also waste time that I'm going to need..

I decided to try calling him again, and if he didn't answer this time I was going to try to find him. I dialed his number and held the phone up to my ear once again.

It rang 4 times before he answered.

"Vic, oh my god, please don't do anything.." I cried. I could hear his engine roar, I could tell he was driving. And fast.

"Carlee, I don't think it's a good idea for me to be on the phone and driving.." he laughed sarcastically.

"Vic this isn't funny, oh my god please," I started crying even harder. It was all just a game to him, wasn't it?

"I never said it was funny, I just find it a little bit ironic," he laughed.

"Seriously Vic, stop. You're scaring me."

"Oh, I'm sorry." he said. "I didn't realize how it made you feel."

We sat in silence for awhile as I realized why he was doing this.. I was being so fucking selfish. How could I do that to him? I knew what it felt like to have someone you love take their own life.. How could I even think to put that on him? I shook my head at myself. I was a complete idiot. I was a complete asshole.

"Vic.. I'm so sorry. It's just so hard.. Please just come to my house."

I heard tires screeching on the phone and in person. I looked out my window to see him driving down my street and watched as he pulled into my driveway. I wiped my tears away and hung up the phone. I ran out of my room and out the house as fast as I could, swinging the door open, not even bothering to close it. He got out of his car and started walking towards me as I ran to him. I jumped into his arms and pulled him as close as possible to me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. He rubbed his hand up and down my back and I pulled away and pulled him into my house. We walked into my room and sat down on my bed.

"Vic.. I'm sorry. I just feel like.." I stopped and tried holding back the tears, I didn't want to cry again. I swallowed hard and began to speak again. "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you." I said, choking on my sobs.

"Are you being serious right now? If anything, I don't deserve you." he said, pulling my chin up.

"Don't.." I mumbled. "It's just all getting so hard. It's just so much to have to deal with.. and things were finally starting to look up a bit.. then something happens, someone else leaves.." I said, shaking my head. He just listened, and really that's what I needed.

"I feel like I'm a burden to you.. I can't have ONE good day. Every single day, something has to happen, I break down, I cry almost every single day. It's pathetic, and annoying.. and I feel like you shouldn't have to deal with that. I really don't deserve you, I don't deserve the things you've done for me. And you don't deserve to have to deal with me and my annoying emotions. You deserve better than me." I rambled.

"Don't even say that. I love you, I don't care if you cry everyday, I don't care if you break down. I want to be here for you, I want to help you. I feel like it's my job to help you. I feel like fate brought us together, because when we're together we're both so much better. You make me a better person, you bring out the best in me. You make me so damn happy. And I really want the feeling to be mutual," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders and giving them a slight squeeze.

"The feeling is mutual, Vic. I do love you. So much. You make me as happy as a person as fucked up as me can get. It's just hard for me to express happiness." I sighed. "Also, please don't ever do that to me again. That was seriously the scariest experience I've had in my life, I was literally about to have a heart attack."

"Well, I just wanted to show you how it felt.. I'm sorry for scaring you so badly, but now you know how it feels. When I found that note.. I didn't know what to think. I was crying so hard, and then having you freak out and try to hurt yourself like that.. It scared me. It broke my heart, Carlee. I love you so much. And I don't think you believe that."

"I'm sorry, Vic. In case you haven't noticed, people don't really like me. So it makes me hard to believe that someone as amazing as you can love me." I mumbled.

"And that's sad. Fuck everyone else, Carlee. They're all complete idiots and they're missing out on the most amazing girl. You need to believe that I am in love with you. Nothing's going to change that."

And with that, I was happy again. I had an ear-to-ear smile on my face.

"Ah, fuck you." I laughed. He looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows. "Fuck you for being so amazing. You really know how to make me happy." I smiled. A smile spread across his face and I pulled him over to me, giving him a long, gentle kiss. This kiss made every bad emotion wash completely away. Butterflies fluttered all over in my stomach, and I couldn't help but smile into the kiss. He smiled against my lips as well and then he pulled me over on top of him. We rolled over a bit and I didn't realize he was closer to the edge than me, so I fell over onto the floor. I started laughing and he joined me in laughter. He was still on the bed, so I pulled onto his arm trying to pull him down with me.

"You're coming down with me," I laughed. He kept on laughing at my struggle to pull him down. I stood up and tackled him on the bed, pushing him with all my force off the bed.

"Goooooo," I laughed. He laughed and rolled over off of the bed, pulling me down with him. We both fell to the floor laughing.

"Not fair! You can't pull me with you!" I laughed.

"Oh but I think I did?" he smiled, pulling me over to him.

"Ass." I whispered, giving him another kiss.

And the whole rest of the day was like this, just happy. It felt amazing just being with him and acting like idiots together.

True happiness for once in my life.

Notes

So, first of all, I want to apologize for not updating this any sooner. I stayed the night at a friend's house for her birthday and she has no internet, so I was stuck with my phone. Then they couldn't give me a ride home (we live 45 minutes away from each other) and I had to stay another night. My family ignored me lol

Also, I want to thank you guys for all the feedback. I've been reading all your guys's comments and stuff over the weekend and I just want to thank you all for the positive things you've said :)

Lastly, I want to remind you guys that if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me. And I mean that. I don't want you guys to feel alone, so please, if you need someone, message me. :)

Thank you guys! Enjoy this update. I'll be back to updating as I normally would. :)