First and second period went by pretty fast, thanks to Tony. We had both classes together. It was weird knowing that he actually wanted to talk to me. Today was a short day so we had third period and then lunch. Third period I didn't have with Tony, so I was alone. It was my creative writing class. I walked in and took a seat at the back. I tried siting away from everyone else. That was until there were no more seats and the last kid into the classroom was forced to sit next to me. I could tell he didn't want to, so I scooted away as much as possible from him.

"Don't think I want to sit here. There's no more seats and that's the only reason why I'm here. Just so you know." he said. Well, I knew. And that definitely hurt. I just kept my mouth shut and pulled out my journal again and started sketching some weird figure.

"What the fuck is that?" he asked. I just looked at him and shook my head.

"Nothing." I murmured.

He grabbed my journal out of my hands started flipping through the pages. "These are fucking stupid." he said, laughing. I tried grabbing it back from him, but he just scooted away from my reach. I couldn't do anything more about it or the teacher would notice, so I just sat there and waited for him to give it back.

Instead of giving it back, he gave it to the person next to him. They both started laughing and I felt my cheeks go red. This is so fucking embarrassing. I got up and walked over to the kids and snatched it away, only for the teacher to notice me.

"What is that, Carlee?" he asked. Everyone turned around and started staring at me. About 30 sets of eyes all on me at once. I started breathing weirdly and I didn't even know what to say.

"It's just my drawings.." I murmured.

"Bring it up here." I stood there for a second, wondering if I should just run out of the classroom. I swallowed really hard and started walking up to the front desk. As I passed some kids, I heard things like, "She's such a bitch," and "She probably likes the attention she's getting."

I made my way to the desk and handed the teacher my journal. He started flipping through the pictures and went wide-eyed. "These are uh.. pretty graphic.." he said. We all just sat there in silence until someone from the back yelled, "Fat emo bitch!" I grabbed my notebook from the teacher and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I sunk to the ground and held my face in my hands, trying my hardest not to cry. Today was going good until I was actually alone.. I threw my journal back into my bag and pulled my knees up to my chest. I pulled up the sleeve of my sweater, exposing my cuts. I just stared at them. I'm so weak. I looked at the time and saw that third period was going to be over soon, and I didn't want to face any of the kids from that room. I got up and started making my way to the cafeteria when the bell rang. I decided to skip eating today. I made my way outside and sat down at the table furthest away from the school. Tony wasn't even going to show up, I'm sure. I just sat there in silence and rested my head on the table, letting my thoughts consume me.

Soon enough, someone slid under the table and nudged me. I looked up to see Tony, looking down at me with his eyebrows furrowed. I didn't even notice I was crying until the cold air hit my wet face. I just turned away from him. He didn't need to see me cry. I barely knew him, I didn't want to scare him away.. He got up and made his way from the table. Of course he was leaving.. I almost started to cry more when I looked up to see him in front of me. He sat down and lifted my head up with is chin. He looked me in the eyes. His eyes looked worried. I swallowed hard and turned towards the table.

"What happened Carlee?" he asked. I stayed turned towards the table and didn't say anything. He got up and sat on the opposite way of the table so he could face me again. "Carlee. Please tell me what's wrong."

"It'd be easier to tell you what isn't wrong," I said. "And that's nothing."

"What happened to make you cry?" he asked.

I took a deep breath in. "In third period, some kid was forced to sit next to me, and made it obvious he didn't want to be there. He stole my journal and the teacher took notice and made me bring it up to him and said, 'These are pretty graphic.'" I choked out. "Then to top it off, another kid yelled 'Fat emo bitch.' And then I left and slammed the door..."

"I could hear them laughing from outside in the hallway..." I started sobbing once again. It was one thing to think about it, but to actually say it out loud really hurt. He just looked at me and tightened his jaw. He didn't know what to say, and I didn't expect him to.

"Who called you that?" he asked, voice stern. His question surprised me a little and it took me a second to respond.

"Uh.. I don't know his full name for sure.. I think it was something like Ethan Cordale.. I only heard it once when the teacher called out role.."

"Don't listen to him, Carlee. You're better than that. You're definitely not fat. And why aren't you eating?"

I just shrugged.

"No.. Carlee.. Don't stop eating because of what that prick said to you," he said, bringing his tray over to me. "Please don't." he said, handing me an apple. I looked at him. He was serious. I sighed and grabbed the apple, taking a huge bite out of it. I was hungry. We sat there for a couple of minutes when his friend Jaime came over to us.

"Hey Tone! Who's this?" he said, nodding his head at me.

"This is Carlee. And Carlee, this is Jaime." Tony replied. I smiled and waved awkwardly. I was scared to say anything. Jaime sat down next to Tony and whispered something in his ear. Tony just looked at him and smiled a bit. "I know," was all he said. I just sat there. What did Jaime say to him..?

"Hey. Secrets don't make friends." I blurted out. I mentally slapped myself for saying that.

"Sorry. I just told him that you were really cute." Jaime said. I blushed and looked away, I didn't want them to see me blushing. I took another bite from my apple and just sat there until I felt my cheeks stop burning. I turned back to them and they just smiled at me. They knew I was blushing.

"So uh.. what do you guys like to do?" I asked, awkwardly as I took another bite of my apple.

"Oh, we're actually in a band." Jaime replied. I looked at them for a second and laughed.

"No you're not." I laughed.

"No, we really are. I play guitar and Jaime plays bass." Tony replied.

"That's it? What about drums? What about a singer?" I asked.

"Our friends. Vic is the singer and Mike is the drummer."

"Oh, I see. Are you guys good?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow and smirking at them.

"I don't know. You should come over today and find out." Tony replied. What? Tony actually wanted ME to come watch them play?

"Sounds good to me." I said, smiling. The bell rang and it was time for fourth period.

"What class do you guys have next?" I asked, taking out my schedule.

"We both have music class." I looked at my schedule, and smiled really widely. I had the same class with them. I let out a sigh of relief.

"I have that class too." I smiled. "What class did you guys have last period?"

"I had math." Tony replied. I looked over to Jaime who was looking down a little bit.

"Creative writing." he murmured. I completely froze. I started biting down on my bottom lip.

"Oh..." I replied. I didn't know what to say. He saw what happened in there. He saw me run out of the room almost crying..

"Ethan is a fucking loser by the way." Jaime said. I just smiled. That made me feel a little bit better, but I was still embarrassed he had to see that. We all headed into music class and took a seat with each other.

It felt amazing to be sitting by people who actually wanted to be around me.

~

Notes

so today is my birthday and im not even doing shit so i guess ill just be writing all day. so expect an update here soon.