We pulled into Tony's driveway and the whole way there I was trying to calm Vic down. It was no use though, me trying to calm him down was only pissing him off more.

"Vic. Please don't do anything crazy. Just talk to him. Nothing physical, okay?" I pleaded.

"I don't know if I'll be able to keep to that, Carlee." he said. I sighed and shook my head.

"I shouldn't have told you.." I mumbled. He killed the ignition and looked at me, his mouth slightly open.

"Are you serious? Yes, you should tell me. You should tell me everything that's bothering you. I want to help you."

"Vic, 'killing' Tony isn't helping me." I said. He sighed and looked at the steering wheel, lightly tapping his leg.

"You're right. I at least need to talk to him though." he said, opening his door and slamming it closed. I got out and closed my door as well and followed him up to Tony's doorstep. He balled his hand into a fist and pounded on the door. I was scared of what was going to happen next. I stood behind Vic when Tony opened the door. Vic stormed in and I stayed outside so he could talk to Tony.

"What the fuck?!" I heard Vic call. He came running out and pushed me back as I was entering.

"Carlee, don't come in here. You don't want to see this, here, take my keys and go back to my house, okay?" he said, handing me his keys.

"Vic, no. I want to see." I said, handing him back the keys. He sighed and stood back to let me in.

I wish I would've listened to Vic..

I walked in to see Aubrey on Tony's couch. And in this moment, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. My body took control and the next thing I knew, Aubrey was on the floor unconscious. I felt two sets of hands pulling me back from what I was about to do next, and it was probably for the best. Something came over me, I wasn't me anymore. It was like a demon had possessed me. Or something even stronger than a demon. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to just slit Aubrey's throat. I took my hand back and swung it at the two sets of hands holding me back, causing them both to let go. It was all just one big blur. I lunged out towards her again, only to be brought back with more force this time. I turned back and Vic grabbed me and held me in his arms. Despite my protests, he kept me there. He walked me outside and closed the door. He sat down by the doorstep and held me in his lap.

I wasn't crying, I wasn't freaking out, I was completely calm now. Being in his arms had this weird effect on me. It was like nothing else mattered in this moment. He started brushing back my hair.

"You're okay. You're okay." he repeated in a whisper. I nodded and sat up next to him.

"Vic.. that, that wasn't me.. That was so weird, I hardly even remember what happened in there. That wasn't me in there.." I rambled. He just nodded and put his hand on my back and started rubbing it up and down. I rested my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around me.

We sat there for a minute in silence until Tony's door opened. We both turned back to see Tony coming out. He closed the door and slowly made his way over to us.

"What you did in there was wrong, Carlee." Tony scolded.

"Tony, shut the fuck up. What you did today was wrong." Vic said, standing up.

"Carlee did nothing wrong, don't you fucking realize how big of an asshole you are being?" he said.

"Do you realize how ignorant you are being as well? Even after knowing everything that has happened with Carlee, you still add on to it? What kind of person are you?" he added.

Tony shook his head and sat down.

"I didn't realize it.. I didn't realize how badly it would affect her." Tony mumbled.

"How the fuck did you not realize that?" Vic yelled.

"I don't know.. I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fucking cut it, Tony. Tomorrow, at school, you are going to tell everyone the truth about what Ethan did. You are going to stay with Carlee through all of this. You are going to be an actual fucking friend for once." Vic demanded.

"No I'm not Vic. You aren't going to tell me what to do. I'm not staying around with her for my reputation to be ruined. I didn't ask for any of this, okay?" Tony yelled.

"What reputation?" Vic asked. "And you did ask for this by telling every fucking person at your guys's school shit that isn't even true." Vic said in a stern voice.

"How is what I told them not true? The only thing I may have lied about was you two hooking up. She did fuck Ethan and all of his friends, she does cut herself, and she has tried killing herself."

"I DIDN'T FUCK ETHAN AND HIS FRIENDS!" I yelled. I stood up and walked over to Tony. I could feel tears forming in my eyes from all the anger I had inside of me.

"Oh really? That's not what I heard." Tony shot back.

"Tony, you fucking idiot! She was raped! Why do you think she was in the hospital and came back with broken ribs?!" Vic yelled.

"What?" Tony started. "I thought she got into another fight or something.." he mumbled.

"No, Tony. She was raped, beaten and then left in the fucking street." Vic said, voice trembling.

Tony buried his face in his hands. He shook his head and I could tell he was beating himself up mentally.

But I couldn't take this anymore. It was bad enough for it to happen, I couldn't hear about it again. I couldn't deal with all of this fighting. I couldn't deal with all of these emotions I am feeling at this moment. I got up and ran away, letting my legs carry me once again..

--

I ended up back in the park. Despite Vic trying to get me to come back to him, I kept running. He knew just to let me be. Sometimes I just need to be alone.

I ended up back in the place where I was left. It was all so familiar that it scared me. There was something different though. It was dark, it was pitch black outside and somehow I could still make out every detail of the area I was left at. I walked towards it. Something was drawing me in. I looked up into the darkness to see a weird, distorted figure.. hanging from a tree..

It was my drawing- It was me. The figure was bleeding down its wrists, just like in my drawing. Its face was blank. I walked closer to it, and in the tree it was hanging from was carved, 'I can't be saved.' I backed up but was stopped by a sharp pain in my throat. I was hanging from the tree now. I was now that figure. I was now that drawing. I was where I am meant to be. I was.. gone.

--

I woke up in a very uncomfortable position, still feeling pain in my neck. I was screaming and kicking and my breathing was all wrong. I opened my eyes to see Vic and Tony hovering over me. I was in the park, I was in the same spot I was left at.. My dream was slightly real.

"Carlee! Stop, stop! You're okay, please stop." Vic cried. I looked at myself to see my own hands wrapped around my throat, pushing down as hard as I could. Vic was pulling at my hands but they wouldn't budge. I wouldn't let them. Tony joined in helping Vic and they both pried my hands away from my neck.

"Stop, Carlee. Please stop." Vic was crying uncontrollably. I had no memory of how I got here or why I was here, or why I was doing this to myself. I guess I just wanted it to be real.. I wanted to be gone.

"Carlee, please.." he cried. "You promised."

I was always good at breaking promises..

Notes

ohmhghg

i love writing this okay