Skin and Bones
Chapter 23
~*POV Tony*~
Dammit Tony, you did this to him. Ever since the Christmas party Mike has been very distant and I don't think he's been eating enough. He's starting to get even smaller again. But Vic weighs him once a week and tells me he's gaining... It might just be paranoia, but I don't believe it. It's all my fault, if I hadn't let Stephanie kiss me, he's still be ok. I try so hard to kiss the pain away, but it's just not doing it anymore. I tell him he's beautiful, and that he's perfect... But, is it possible for words to lose their meaning if you say them to much?
I don't know what to do, I don't know if I can fix him on my own. It kills me inside that I can't help him. I can't even see him anymore. I haven't seen him since December 26th, today is December 30th. On December 26th, we desided to tell my aunt and uncle about our relationship, hoping they would get off my back about Stephanie. They didn't. They threatened to kick me out if I continued seeing Mike. I told them to fuck off and started packing. But Mike stopped me, he told me not to throw my life away for him. And for some reason, I listened to him. I don't know if we're still together or not, but I want to be. I miss him.
"We just met at the wrong time Tony," he told me, trying to be strong, "Maybe someday, a few years from now, we'll meet again, in a cafe or on a city street. We'd try again, and we'd get our happily ever after."
After saying that, he kissed my forehead and walked out the frontdoor, and out of my life. I tried calling him, he never answered. I showed up at his house, only to be shoed away by Vic, telling me not to worry, that Mike was fine. How could he be fine?
~*POV Mike*~
You'rediscusting. Tony'sgladyouleft. Heneverlovedyoubecauseyou'refat. Ifyouwerethinnerhe'dloveyou. Ifyouwerethinneryou'dbehappy. Ifyouweren'tasfatyoucouldgethimback. Butyouarefatsodon'teventry.
I put my robe on and walked to the bathroom, where Vic was waiting. I stepped on the scale, it read 107. I looked at Vic, he smiled and patted my back. I wanted to cry. I don't like lying to my brother, but I have to. I don't want him to worry. Whybother? Hehatesyouanyways. He wantsyoudead. Most days, I want me dead too.
"I'm going to take a shower," I say.
He nodds and leaves, closing the door behind him. I take the heavy robe off and step back on the scale. 95. Betterbutstillfat. When I weigh 80, Tony'll love me. When I weight 80, Vic won't hate me. When I weigh 80, I won't hate me.
I've tricked Vic to believe that I eat 3 meals a day, when in reality, I haven't eaten since I last saw Tony. Fours days ago. I felt strong though, empty is stronge. Staying stronge and empty wasn't the hard part though, the hard part was staying away from Tony. He's bad for me, he didn't love me, but when I'm skinny he will. When he sees how skinny I become, he'll fall so in love with me, but I won't let myself love him back. I'll make him deal with the same misery he put me through.
I jumped in the scalding shower, but it didn't feel warm enough. I was so cold, always so cold. But I shower anyways, pretending nothing's wrong. Nothing'swrong. You'rejustparanoid. Keepshowering. Don'teventhinkabouteating. The voice used to torture me, but now it keeps me stronge. Without it, I'll forget about how gross I am, then I'll eat. I don't want to eat.
I finished my shower and got out. I heard yelling coming from downstairs, Vic was yelling at someone. I wonder who. I suddenly felt really dizzy, it happens from time to time, but now it's worse. You'rejustbecomingweak. Staystronge. I carried on into my room and got dressed. I was getting worse, I couldn't stay on my feet. I collapsed to the floor beneath me. Staystrongdammit. I couldn't be strong though, my whole body was willing me to be weak.
I heard footsteps running up the stairs, two sets of them. Who could it be? I felt my head hit the floor with a bang. I heard the door opening as I slipped into a world of darkness and warmth.
"MIKE!"
Dammit Tony, you did this to him. Ever since the Christmas party Mike has been very distant and I don't think he's been eating enough. He's starting to get even smaller again. But Vic weighs him once a week and tells me he's gaining... It might just be paranoia, but I don't believe it. It's all my fault, if I hadn't let Stephanie kiss me, he's still be ok. I try so hard to kiss the pain away, but it's just not doing it anymore. I tell him he's beautiful, and that he's perfect... But, is it possible for words to lose their meaning if you say them to much?
I don't know what to do, I don't know if I can fix him on my own. It kills me inside that I can't help him. I can't even see him anymore. I haven't seen him since December 26th, today is December 30th. On December 26th, we desided to tell my aunt and uncle about our relationship, hoping they would get off my back about Stephanie. They didn't. They threatened to kick me out if I continued seeing Mike. I told them to fuck off and started packing. But Mike stopped me, he told me not to throw my life away for him. And for some reason, I listened to him. I don't know if we're still together or not, but I want to be. I miss him.
"We just met at the wrong time Tony," he told me, trying to be strong, "Maybe someday, a few years from now, we'll meet again, in a cafe or on a city street. We'd try again, and we'd get our happily ever after."
After saying that, he kissed my forehead and walked out the frontdoor, and out of my life. I tried calling him, he never answered. I showed up at his house, only to be shoed away by Vic, telling me not to worry, that Mike was fine. How could he be fine?
~*POV Mike*~
You'rediscusting. Tony'sgladyouleft. Heneverlovedyoubecauseyou'refat. Ifyouwerethinnerhe'dloveyou. Ifyouwerethinneryou'dbehappy. Ifyouweren'tasfatyoucouldgethimback. Butyouarefatsodon'teventry.
I put my robe on and walked to the bathroom, where Vic was waiting. I stepped on the scale, it read 107. I looked at Vic, he smiled and patted my back. I wanted to cry. I don't like lying to my brother, but I have to. I don't want him to worry. Whybother? Hehatesyouanyways. He wantsyoudead. Most days, I want me dead too.
"I'm going to take a shower," I say.
He nodds and leaves, closing the door behind him. I take the heavy robe off and step back on the scale. 95. Betterbutstillfat. When I weigh 80, Tony'll love me. When I weight 80, Vic won't hate me. When I weigh 80, I won't hate me.
I've tricked Vic to believe that I eat 3 meals a day, when in reality, I haven't eaten since I last saw Tony. Fours days ago. I felt strong though, empty is stronge. Staying stronge and empty wasn't the hard part though, the hard part was staying away from Tony. He's bad for me, he didn't love me, but when I'm skinny he will. When he sees how skinny I become, he'll fall so in love with me, but I won't let myself love him back. I'll make him deal with the same misery he put me through.
I jumped in the scalding shower, but it didn't feel warm enough. I was so cold, always so cold. But I shower anyways, pretending nothing's wrong. Nothing'swrong. You'rejustparanoid. Keepshowering. Don'teventhinkabouteating. The voice used to torture me, but now it keeps me stronge. Without it, I'll forget about how gross I am, then I'll eat. I don't want to eat.
I finished my shower and got out. I heard yelling coming from downstairs, Vic was yelling at someone. I wonder who. I suddenly felt really dizzy, it happens from time to time, but now it's worse. You'rejustbecomingweak. Staystronge. I carried on into my room and got dressed. I was getting worse, I couldn't stay on my feet. I collapsed to the floor beneath me. Staystrongdammit. I couldn't be strong though, my whole body was willing me to be weak.
I heard footsteps running up the stairs, two sets of them. Who could it be? I felt my head hit the floor with a bang. I heard the door opening as I slipped into a world of darkness and warmth.
"MIKE!"
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Bae! <3
8/10/14