Can You Tell From the Look In Her Eyes?
The Voices Inside My Head Are Taking Over
That night I slept in the back lounge away from everyone. I couldn't bare to look at Jaime after everything that had happened that day.
No one wants your slutty little ass. If you weren't such a whore, none of this would've happened. I mean, obviously God thinks you're a whore because Rian ain't going to jail for it. He was just taking what you waved in his face. My mind scolded.
Was I really a whore? I didn't cheat on Oli during the six years we were together. Yes, you did! Whore! Tears feel down my face and I remembered the first tour party Oli took me to. Oli had been so wasted and he forced me to drink a shot. I remember being so disgusted with myself that I ran to the back to puke. I walked out of the bathroom and I heard him with some other girl. This is what rockstars do, I told myself. They cheat on their loving girlfriends, but the girlfriend stays with them. Because they love them anyways. I cried. I remember a few hits of a bong later, I was on top of some guy in a random bunk and thinking Fuck you, Oliver! Now we're even!
After that night, I swore never to do that again. That was the night that I made the promise to not drink, smoke, or have premiscuous sex.
I cried silently. I guess what goes around comes around.
I got up and walked to the bathroom.
You're disgusting Carter. You fat-ass whore! Girls like you deserve what you got, sadly he didn't finish the job. You should be disgusted with yourself. Go kill yourself, bitch!
"I'm not going to kill myself," I said firmly looking in the mirror. I was a mess. My eyes were puffy and red, my hair was sticking out at odd angles, and the scars on my temple were irritated and red.
Remember how you got those scars? Oli saw you for the unfaithful little bitch you are and hit you with a broken bottle!
The sudden rush of all the horrible memories was enough to make me puke. I was bent over the toilet for a good 45 minutes, until I decided I ahould get cleaned up before anyone had to take a midnight piss.
I walked out to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge. I looked at the clock. 5:23 a.m. it read. I simply sat down and turned on the TV. There was no use in going back to sleep.
"Carter?!" I heard the panic in Jaime's voice as he realized I wasn't in the back lounge any longer. It was 11:06 and I was watching Twitches. I love old Disney movies.
"Out here, babe," I called before he freaked anyone else out.
"I was kinda worried," he rubbed his neck and walked over to where I was sitting. "I just... you... last night-"
"I understand Hime-Time, and it's okay. I just woke up from a bad dream and it was late enough that there was no use going back to sleep, so I just came out here."
"What are you watching?" Jaime asked, sitting down beside me, bulling my legs onto his lap.
"Twitches," I grinned.
"Whyyyyyyy?" He whined. "I wanna watch Forrest Guuuuummpppp!"
"Because I was here first," I kissed his cheek.
"Fine," he pouted.
After the movie was over, we decided to go catch a few sets. I knew Jaime was tense about it, but I didn't want to be alone on the bus with my thought. I left him in the front lounge watching a rerun of The Rugrats and slid into the bathroom to get dressed. I put on a mint green tee that said 'teenage mess', a pair of black skinny jeans, a pair of green Vans (they were Vic's because he has small feet), and a ring with a Cat's Eye in it. I felt awesome. (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=87054820)
"Are those my shoes?" Vic faked anger as I stepped out of the bathroom.
"Yessir, Senor Tinyfeet," I giggled.
"Maybe I wanted to wear those," he huffed.
"With an orange and blue Hawaiian shirt? Oh, hell no!"
"Okay. Fine, you can wear them. But, please take them off before Jaime bones you," he winked.
I walked into the front lounge with a grin on my face. Jaime had on a beanie, which I loved on him. He always looked so cute in beanies and whenever he smiled his dimples sent me on overload. I was still amazed that I had gotten Jaime Preciado.
"Now, we can't go watch All Time Low for obvious reasons, but I was thinking we could go see Crown the Empire. I hear they're like screamo Panic! At the Disco," he smiled, taking my hand.
"Okay. But, I do need to go talk to Austin at some point," I said carefully as his smile faltered.
"Oh. Yeah, of course," he said.
"I just... I want to make sure he knows that there isn't anything going on between us because I don't want anymore drama. I especially wouldn't want to string someone along on accident," I explained.
He pressed his lips to my forehead and we were off.
"So... what are we gonna do about..." I trailed off, worried about Rian.
"You leave that to me and the guys," he spoke quickly, careful not to show any emotion.
Oh God... I really hope no one gets hurt... besides Rian, of course...
No one wants your slutty little ass. If you weren't such a whore, none of this would've happened. I mean, obviously God thinks you're a whore because Rian ain't going to jail for it. He was just taking what you waved in his face. My mind scolded.
Was I really a whore? I didn't cheat on Oli during the six years we were together. Yes, you did! Whore! Tears feel down my face and I remembered the first tour party Oli took me to. Oli had been so wasted and he forced me to drink a shot. I remember being so disgusted with myself that I ran to the back to puke. I walked out of the bathroom and I heard him with some other girl. This is what rockstars do, I told myself. They cheat on their loving girlfriends, but the girlfriend stays with them. Because they love them anyways. I cried. I remember a few hits of a bong later, I was on top of some guy in a random bunk and thinking Fuck you, Oliver! Now we're even!
After that night, I swore never to do that again. That was the night that I made the promise to not drink, smoke, or have premiscuous sex.
I cried silently. I guess what goes around comes around.
I got up and walked to the bathroom.
You're disgusting Carter. You fat-ass whore! Girls like you deserve what you got, sadly he didn't finish the job. You should be disgusted with yourself. Go kill yourself, bitch!
"I'm not going to kill myself," I said firmly looking in the mirror. I was a mess. My eyes were puffy and red, my hair was sticking out at odd angles, and the scars on my temple were irritated and red.
Remember how you got those scars? Oli saw you for the unfaithful little bitch you are and hit you with a broken bottle!
The sudden rush of all the horrible memories was enough to make me puke. I was bent over the toilet for a good 45 minutes, until I decided I ahould get cleaned up before anyone had to take a midnight piss.
I walked out to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge. I looked at the clock. 5:23 a.m. it read. I simply sat down and turned on the TV. There was no use in going back to sleep.
"Carter?!" I heard the panic in Jaime's voice as he realized I wasn't in the back lounge any longer. It was 11:06 and I was watching Twitches. I love old Disney movies.
"Out here, babe," I called before he freaked anyone else out.
"I was kinda worried," he rubbed his neck and walked over to where I was sitting. "I just... you... last night-"
"I understand Hime-Time, and it's okay. I just woke up from a bad dream and it was late enough that there was no use going back to sleep, so I just came out here."
"What are you watching?" Jaime asked, sitting down beside me, bulling my legs onto his lap.
"Twitches," I grinned.
"Whyyyyyyy?" He whined. "I wanna watch Forrest Guuuuummpppp!"
"Because I was here first," I kissed his cheek.
"Fine," he pouted.
After the movie was over, we decided to go catch a few sets. I knew Jaime was tense about it, but I didn't want to be alone on the bus with my thought. I left him in the front lounge watching a rerun of The Rugrats and slid into the bathroom to get dressed. I put on a mint green tee that said 'teenage mess', a pair of black skinny jeans, a pair of green Vans (they were Vic's because he has small feet), and a ring with a Cat's Eye in it. I felt awesome. (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=87054820)
"Are those my shoes?" Vic faked anger as I stepped out of the bathroom.
"Yessir, Senor Tinyfeet," I giggled.
"Maybe I wanted to wear those," he huffed.
"With an orange and blue Hawaiian shirt? Oh, hell no!"
"Okay. Fine, you can wear them. But, please take them off before Jaime bones you," he winked.
I walked into the front lounge with a grin on my face. Jaime had on a beanie, which I loved on him. He always looked so cute in beanies and whenever he smiled his dimples sent me on overload. I was still amazed that I had gotten Jaime Preciado.
"Now, we can't go watch All Time Low for obvious reasons, but I was thinking we could go see Crown the Empire. I hear they're like screamo Panic! At the Disco," he smiled, taking my hand.
"Okay. But, I do need to go talk to Austin at some point," I said carefully as his smile faltered.
"Oh. Yeah, of course," he said.
"I just... I want to make sure he knows that there isn't anything going on between us because I don't want anymore drama. I especially wouldn't want to string someone along on accident," I explained.
He pressed his lips to my forehead and we were off.
"So... what are we gonna do about..." I trailed off, worried about Rian.
"You leave that to me and the guys," he spoke quickly, careful not to show any emotion.
Oh God... I really hope no one gets hurt... besides Rian, of course...
Notes
Song Credit: Voices - Crown the EmpireSorry guys... I couldn't decide what to do with Rian. Any ideas?
Also, what's going to happen? Hmmm? Will she ever forget about Oli?
When will she get with Jaime?
Thanks for all the comments and to all my readers! <3
Love you guys! <3 :*
@maybenext_may
I love Chiodos tbh. I don't see why there isn't more fanfiction.
3/17/14