California

I woke up to my head throbbing. I sat up slowly and my vision blurred, making me incredibly dizzy. I hopped out of my bunk and ran quickly to the bathroom, barely shutting the door behind me before leaning over the toilet. I flushed the toilet and grabbed my toothbrush, brushing my teeth thoroughly two times. I took the bandage off my forehead and splashed water on my face. I grabbed hydrogen peroxide and washed it before I placed another bandage on.

I exited the bathroom and walked into the lounge area. Danielle, Erin, and Vic were the only ones up. Vic was in the kitchen area while Erin and Danielle were sat on the couch. Danielle gave me a small smile and tried to return it, although the only thing on my mind was Mikey.

Vic handed me a cup of coffee and some toast, which I greatly appreciated. “How are you feeling?”

“Not too great,” I mumbled and took a bite of the toast. I sat down on the couch next to Danielle as he handed her and Erin a cup of orange juice. “Did you guys find Mikey last night?”

Erin nodded. “I talked to him for a while and I tried to convince him to hear you out, but I don’t know if I succeeded.” I shrugged, wiping a tear away from eye. “Oh honey, don’t cry,” she said and leaned over to pull me into a hug. I felt Vic and Danielle both rubbing soothing circles on my back as I tried to calm down. After a few minutes I did, and looked at them gratefully.

“Thanks. You guys are the best.”

Vic gave me a smile and patted me on the head, making Danielle giggle. Erin turned on the television and the classic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cartoon was on. I tried not to think about when Mikey and I watched, but it was unavoidable. I finished my toast and coffee quickly, already feeling the dizziness wearing off. I put my dishes away and swallowed an ibuprofen just to make sure. My phone started buzzing in my pocket and I took it out. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that it was from Mikey. The text read ‘meet me at the park on main in ten minutes’.

“Mikey just texted me!” I squealed. I ran over to Erin and squeezed her as tightly as I could. “Whatever you said must have worked, because he wants me to meet him!” She returned the hug and smiled. I pulled away and quickly ran to the bathroom. I ran a comb through my hair and quickly braided it. I opened my suitcase and found a pair of black jeans, a black tank top that had the logo of Blink-182 on it, and my favorite red jacket. I slipped them on and then put on my shoes.

“Good luck!” Danielle smiled as I opened the bus door and walked out. The chilly air hit my face as I walked, looking at the street signs to find Main. I found the street finally and walked briskly towards the lush green park on the other side of the road. I walked through the gates and looked around. I saw several kids playing on a nearby playground with their parents watching them, and a few people walking various dog breeds, but I didn’t see Mikey. One of the children playing threw his ball and it went over towards the corner. That’s when I spotted the familiar orange hair.
I made my way towards him, crossing the freshly cut grass. As I approached he looked up without his usual smile. I tried to keep the frown off my face as I walked up and took a seat next to him on the bench.

“Erin spoke to me last night,” he said as he kept his eyes locked forward. “I’m willing to listen to your side of the story.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“So are you fucking Tony and Vic?” he asked. I flinched at the harshness of his words but took a deep breath, knowing this is my only shot.

I shook my head. “No.”

“But you did have sex with them.”

“I only slept with Tony, and it was one time.”

“Recently?”

“About ten years ago. We were eighteen and we both wanted to lose our virginities to someone who genuinely cared about us and that we knew would be in our lives forever. We had been best friends for twelve years, so we decided it made sense for us to lose it to each other.” He was quiet for several moments, mulling over what I had just told him.

“It was only one time?” he asked quietly. I nodded.

“Did you ever have,” he paused, “romantic feelings for him?”

“No.”

“And Vic?”

“Vic and I went on a couple dates when I first met him, but things didn’t really click.”

He looked over to me and my heart rate sped up. “Did anything happen?”

“We kissed a few times, but that is it.” Silence surrounded us as he thought.

“What about Jack and Alan?”

I sighed. I hated talking about them. “Do you remember the night we first made love?” I watched his reaction and butterflies swarmed my insides when he nodded with a small smile playing at his lips. “Do you remember why it took me so long to be comfortable with it?”

“You said the last bloke you slept with pressured you into it,” he clenched his jaw and continued staring at the vast green field in front of us. I nodded.

“The guy who pressured me into sex was Jack. And Kellin was wrong, I had known him longer than two days. We were on tour with them for about a week and in that time he took me on two dates. I thought it could go somewhere, but one night he pressured me to sleep with him. I said no, and he made me feel bad about saying no to him. So, I gave in and said yes. We had sex, and then he ignored me from the next day forward, unless it was to spit a mean comment out to me.”

His hand was gripping the bench so tightly that his knuckles were turning ghostly white. “When was this?”

“About a year and a half, maybe two years ago.”

“And what about Alan?”

“I didn’t sleep with him. We were out at a bar one night and he tried to get fresh with me. I told him no and he started to get really angry. Before he could say anything too bad, Jaime found us in the corner and told him to get lost. Alan told everyone we slept together, so a lot of people think I’m a slut who sleeps with band guys,” I glared at my shoes. “I’m not, though. I slept with Tony before he was even in his first band. And I didn’t sleep with Jack because he was in a band. I didn’t even want to be with him in that way. I genuinely liked him and my judgment was poor. That is why when you first asked me out Jaime got very defensive. Because of Jack.”

He stared at the ground, deep in thought. I leaned back into the wooden bench and studied him. I was normally so good at decoding his facial expressions, but I have no idea what he’s thinking right now. His jaw would clench every now and then, and sometimes it looked like he was holding back a grin. I was extremely nervous at what he might say. It was a lot to process.

“Tell me one more thing and then I’ll be satisfied,” he said. He turned and looked at me with his deep brown eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me this before I had to hear it from someone else? I was humiliated when Kellin started spewing off facts about your life that I had no clue of.”

I frowned and sighed as a drop of rain hit my face. “I am sorry for not telling you. But, I was scared that you might not want to be with me anymore. Many of my ex-boyfriends were very jealous and controlling once I told them that I was still best friends with one of men I slept with, or they dumped me because they didn’t trust me. You make me happier than I’ve been in a very long time, and I was afraid of losing you.”

He caught me by surprise when he pressed our lips together passionately. “That would never make me want to not be with you, love. I was jealous when I found out, but only because the way Kellin said it made it seem like such a big deal. After hearing the story I understand. But in the future, please just be honest with me.”

“I will. I promise,” I smiled as more rain fell. He grinned and pressed his lips to my forehead.

“I do apologize for how I acted, though. I should have given you the chance to talk last night.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s okay.”

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.” We kissed again as the rain got heavier, soaking both of us. We pulled apart and he smiled.

“Come on, let’s get you out of the cold.” We started speed walking through the rain with our hands intertwined. We were in the middle of the venue parking lot when he stopped dead in his tracks and made me turn around.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, what the hell happened to your face?” I almost forgot about that. I lifted my free hand and gently touched the bandaged area.

“I kind of tripped last night.”

He frowned. “Trying to chase after me? God, now I feel awful!”

I took his face in my hands and gave him a kiss on his nose. “Don’t, I’m fine.”

“No, it’s all my fault! You’ve got a big gash in your head. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

I grinned mischievously at him and nodded. “Well there is one thing,” I said, running my hand up and down his chest.

He smirked at me. “No one’s on my bus.”

“You better make it up to me now, then.” He smiled and grabbed underneath my thighs, picking me up and kissing me as he headed towards his bus.

Notes