Kellin,

I'm sorry I couldn't love you good enough. I really did try, ya know? And I understand why you don't want me, but it seems that I cannot live without you anymore. So I've chosen not to. Don't take it to hard, it was bound to happen eventually. I also owe you a thank you, you prolonged my life by a couple of months. And those months were some of the best of my life, and I can't help but hope you enjoyed them too. I just want you to know that I love you with every ounce of my being. Goodbye

~Vic

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~*POV Kellin*~

I don't remember when Mike found us. I don't remember the ride to the hospital. I don't remember Vic being pronounced dead when we got there. I don't remember Jack and Tony wrestling Mike and I off of Jaime in the waiting room after. I don't remember the funeral, I don't remember anything after that night. It just isn't worth remembering.

But here I stood, backstage, preparing to play with the remaining three members of Pierce the Veil for their last performance. Vic's benefit concert.

I took a deep breath before running on stage. We were the last band to play. Other bands, such as Of Mice & Men, Mayday Parade and All Time Low had already played a medly of Pierce the Veil songs and some of their own.

I looked out at the crowd, I couldn't see faces but I could tell they were all mourning with us. The first song we played was "Bulls in the Bronx," it was over before I even processed that it had began.

"I'm sorry guys," I said, into the mic, "I know I'm not him..."

The next song was 'Yeah Boy and Doll Face' It also ended to soon, after it was, I don't remember playing it. Remembering hurt to much, singing the words that he wrote. The last song of the set was 'King for a Day' accustic. This song I remembered performing after it was done, I also remembered everytime we'd performed it. All the time's I'd carried him off stage afterwards, and the time we wore paper crowns from Burger King.

"Ok guys," I said, after the last song ended and the other band members left the stage, "I have two songs I want to play for you on the piano, is that ok?"

They responded with half-hearted cheers, but hey, atleast they were trying.

"This first one, I want to dedicate to all of you," I said, sitting down at the keyboard, "I know this isn't my song, but I feel like it's appropriate... To all of you whose lives were saved by this man and his music, please, honor his legacy and hold on."

I started to play a piano cover of 'Hold on 'till May' The farther I got into the song, the harder it got to choke down the tears. Especially when the female part of the song came and a video of Vic popped on the screen behind me. A recording of his voice filled the silent arena;

If you were me you'd do the same,

Cause I can't take anymore

I'll draw the shades and close the door

Everything is not alright and I would rather

The tears caused my vision to blur, but somehow I managed to play the rest of the song. After I had calmed myself down I started to announce the next song.

"This last song I have for you is something I wrote myself," I said, wiping tears off of my face, "Before I play it I want to say that I loved Vic. He was the most important person in my life, and now that he's gone I don't know what I'm going to do. I'd like to think that he loved me too. And I will treasure every memory I have of him, until we meet again."

He is everywhere I go
Everyone I see
Winter's gone and I still can't sleep
Summer's on the way
At least that's what they say
But these clouds won't leave

Walk away
Barely breathing
As I'm lying on the floor
Take my heart
As you're leaving
I don't need it anymore

This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless

Now spring has brought the rain
But I still see your face
And I can not escape the past
Creeping up inside
Reminding me that I
Can never bring you back

This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless

This is endless
Someone help me
'Cause the memory
Convinced itself to tear me apart
And it's gonna succeed before long

This is the memory
This is the curse of having
Too much time to think about it
It's killing me
This is the last time
This is my forgiveness
This is endless
This is endless

Someone help me
'Cause the memory
Convinced itself to tear me apart
And it's gonna succeed before long
This is endless

He is everywhere I go
Everyone I see
But these clouds won't leave

By the end of the song, I was crying so hard that I couldn't see the piano, and my voice was cracking and shaky. Oh Vic? Why did you have to abandon me? I love you so.

I looked up at the silent crowd, I couldn't see their faces through my tears. But I know one thing for sure, I will never be the same.

Fin.

Notes

Whew, that was pretty fucking intense. And I'm sorry it had to end this way, but I feel like happy endings are always bitter sweet, and I've never written one. But if you guys are to heart broken I'll see what I can do, just let me know...

Ok the song I used is 'The Memory' by Mayday Parade, I wanted to use a Sleeping With Sirens song for this, but I couldn't find a song that worked better for what I wanted to accomplish...

<3