Crimson Blood and Colorful Tears
These Clouds Won't Leave
*~POV Kellin~*
The show in Portland was absolutely amazing, this tour has been so god damn good. We were approaching our half way point in Armarillo, Texas. It was really hot here, despite it being the middle of January. I think something's been up with Vic, I don't know, it just seems that he's going through the motions, not really caring. His performances were still good, but everything else is just 'blah' even with me...
I know this hasn't been easy for him, but I wish he would just talk to me. Instead of just sitting here, practically avoiding me. I don't know what to do, but he's really worrying me...
~*POV Vic*~
We had just pulled into Armarillo, I ran off the bus before anyone could stop me. I need to be alone, I need to start thinking clear. This last month or so, I've been a daze, I know what I need to do to end this little 'game,' but part of me wants to believe he really does care. But I know that's not true, it's never been true.
I came across a cliff, overlooking a forest. Strange, I didn't know their were cliffs in Texas... I sat down, dangling my legs over the edge. I pushed up my sleeves and looked at my wrists. They were covered in scars, old and new. I traised over the deepest ones on my left arm, they were deep, but not enough. I didn't have the balls to cut deeper, yet, someday maybe but not today.
I pulled my sleeves back down, suddenly disgusted with myself again. I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't look. The person sat down beside me, I couldn't help but look up and see the beautiful face of Kellin... I really should leave, but I can't take my eyes off of him.
He put his arm around me, and we sat their in silence. Eventually he said something along the lines of, "Vic, please. Talk to me, it's killing me to see you like this..."
No it's not, stop lying to me, I'm begging I can't take this anymore. I need to get out of this lie I'm living.
"Kellin," I said, shaking out from under his arm, "Don't lie to yourself anymore, and don't lie to me. It hurts to much."
He looked at me, his eyes filling with saddness, "I don't understand," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, "I've never lyed to you..."
Dammit Kellin, stop.
"I know this whole relationship is a lie to you," I yelled, something inside of me finally snapping, "I still don't understand why you're doing this, but dammit I'm done!"
His face distorted, taking in the realization that I'd seen through his lies.
"Vic no!" he said, his face drenched with artifical tears, "You mean more than the world to me! I need you, and you need me!"
I wasn't going to take this anymore, I stood up and starting running, leaving Kellin behind, I don't need him and he sure as hell never needed me...
The show in Portland was absolutely amazing, this tour has been so god damn good. We were approaching our half way point in Armarillo, Texas. It was really hot here, despite it being the middle of January. I think something's been up with Vic, I don't know, it just seems that he's going through the motions, not really caring. His performances were still good, but everything else is just 'blah' even with me...
I know this hasn't been easy for him, but I wish he would just talk to me. Instead of just sitting here, practically avoiding me. I don't know what to do, but he's really worrying me...
~*POV Vic*~
We had just pulled into Armarillo, I ran off the bus before anyone could stop me. I need to be alone, I need to start thinking clear. This last month or so, I've been a daze, I know what I need to do to end this little 'game,' but part of me wants to believe he really does care. But I know that's not true, it's never been true.
I came across a cliff, overlooking a forest. Strange, I didn't know their were cliffs in Texas... I sat down, dangling my legs over the edge. I pushed up my sleeves and looked at my wrists. They were covered in scars, old and new. I traised over the deepest ones on my left arm, they were deep, but not enough. I didn't have the balls to cut deeper, yet, someday maybe but not today.
I pulled my sleeves back down, suddenly disgusted with myself again. I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't look. The person sat down beside me, I couldn't help but look up and see the beautiful face of Kellin... I really should leave, but I can't take my eyes off of him.
He put his arm around me, and we sat their in silence. Eventually he said something along the lines of, "Vic, please. Talk to me, it's killing me to see you like this..."
No it's not, stop lying to me, I'm begging I can't take this anymore. I need to get out of this lie I'm living.
"Kellin," I said, shaking out from under his arm, "Don't lie to yourself anymore, and don't lie to me. It hurts to much."
He looked at me, his eyes filling with saddness, "I don't understand," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, "I've never lyed to you..."
Dammit Kellin, stop.
"I know this whole relationship is a lie to you," I yelled, something inside of me finally snapping, "I still don't understand why you're doing this, but dammit I'm done!"
His face distorted, taking in the realization that I'd seen through his lies.
"Vic no!" he said, his face drenched with artifical tears, "You mean more than the world to me! I need you, and you need me!"
I wasn't going to take this anymore, I stood up and starting running, leaving Kellin behind, I don't need him and he sure as hell never needed me...
Notes
SORRYNOTSORRY I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M WRITING ANYMORE! JUST EXPECT MORE SOON BECAUSE I'M IN THE MOOD TO WRITE TODAY!Title Cred: Mayday Parade
@Diana Frobisher
It astounds me that people still read this.
5/12/14