Close Both My Eyes

"Rowan, hey!" A familiar voice echoed, causing me to look up from where my eyes were fixated on my shoes. Vic rose from his chair, pushing it backwards and jogging towards me, a smile plastered across his lips. "It's good to see you!" Wrapping his arms around me he squeezed tightly, the hug nothing more than friendly, and I returned the gesture before stepping away and raking a hand through my hair.

I didn't want to be here, it didn't feel right to be here, to invade like this, but Jaime had asked, he insisted, and I couldn't say no to that pouty little face.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to be here, Vic?"

He nodded, smiling. "Of course, Rowan. Jaime wants you here. Who are we to stop him?" I shrugged, shoving my hands in my pockets as I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet. Arms encircled around my torso, a head falling to rest on my shoulder, the smell belonging to only one person; Jaime.

"Stop pouting," he said plainly. I instinctively leaned my head against his, sighing deeply.

"I'm not pouting." I was.

"Yes you are. I know you well enough to know when you're pouting; you make a very distinct facial expression." He laughed, spinning me around to face him. "What's wrong? Why don't you want to be here?"

"Because Hime," I started, "I just, I don't feel like I should; it's not right. These meet and greets, they're meant to be between you and the fans; they don't want random people lingering around while they speak to the people that saved their lives."

He gave me a crooked smile, that beautiful crooked smile I'd seen almost my entire life.

"They won't mind, okay? I promise. And besides, what if they want to meet the person who saved my life?" He leaned forward, pressing his lips gently to my forehead, and my eyes fell closed, savoring the moment. They lingered there, longer than necessary, but I didn't mention it, though, even though I should have.

For some reason it felt right, and I had no idea why.

I didn't like the feeling, this couldn't be good, and it scared the shit out of me.

As the meet and greet began I followed Jaime towards the table that had been set up for them. Standing against the wall, just a small distance behind Jaime, I watched intently as each adoring fan made their way down the table where the guys sat. Some cried, some laughed; some didn't even say a word at all. No matter what, no matter who it was or how old they were or what they looked like, they made them feel special.

Jaime was especially good at this. His signature smile was splashed across his face at all times, lighting up the room. His smile was inviting; it made you want to smile, even if you weren't happy. As fan after fan approached him, he made them feel at home. He made them laugh, he joked with them, he took pictures, gave hugs, and did anything he could to make them feel important.

As the line dwindled down there were only a few fans left. One in particular stood out to me; she had been crying since she stepped through the door, a steady stream of tears flowing down her rosy cheeks as she tugged at the sleeves of her sweater.

I knew what that meant, what she was trying to hide. That had been me once upon a time; I remember feeling that way, too.

As she stepped up to Jaime she completely broke down. I watched intently as Jaime rushed to her side, craddling her in his arms as he spoke to her in hushed tones. I wasn't able to hear much of what was said; it wasn't any of my business, this was between them. But as Jaime pulled away from the young girl, wiping at her tears, he motioned down to the hidden scars on her arms.

"Don't ever do this again. You're too beautiful to do this to yourself, okay?"

The girl nodded, smiling for the first time since she had stepped into the room.

My heart was racing, my head felt hazy. I was so confused.

Jaime had done an incredible thing for that girl; he made her feel beautiful.

And as he spoke I realized I wanted him to make me feel beautiful, too.

I was falling in love with my best friend.

Shit.