Close Both My Eyes

Three Years Later

I felt the wheels hit the pavement, the airplane coasting to a hault, and I pulled myself out of a dreamelss sleep. Taking a look out the window I gasped at how beautiful the Vegas strip looked, even in the daylight. Though I hated flying and was more than happy that the plane had finally landed, I was more excited about the fact that Jaime would be waiting for me at the gate.

He and the guys had been on tour for months, and I hadn't seen Jaime since before he left. Hell, I'd hardly even spoken to him. He was always so busy these days. Thankfully, though, I had finally been granted time off from work and was able to fly out for a few days. I was looking forward to seeing my best friend, and I hoped he was feeling the same way.

You'd think I would be used to this by now; with the amount of time Pierce the Veil spends on the road, Jaime and I have spent months at a time apart. Somehow, though, it had never seemed to get easier, being away from him. Especially now, now that our friendship seemed to finally be back on track and stronger than ever.

After Jaime had confessed his feelings for me all those years ago, things had taken a turn for the worse. We had spent quite a bit of time away from each other; I felt so horrible about how I had handled the situation, I couldn't face him. And Jaime, I knew he was hurt, I had broken his heart, shattered it into a million pieces.

It took months for us to get back on speaking terms, and we were just now getting back to the way we used to be. We were finally best friends again.

We had both moved on. Jaime had started dating his current girlfriend, Jessica, over a year ago; he pretty much pretends that he had never said the things he did, and though I didn't think that was the best way to handle the situation, I let it be.

I had dated people, too, over the past three years, though nothing ever seemed to work out. No one ever measured up to the standards I had set, and I had no idea why I couldn't find someone to make me happy. Jaime had been there for me through all the break-ups, tragic or not; he always told me that I would find that person eventually, that he was out there waiting. Jaime and all his hopeless romantic shit never truly made me feel better, but it was the effort that counted.

As I shuffled off the plane, the walkways clogged with other passangers, I found my mind wondering back to that day after I picked Jaime up at the airport after their first tour, the day that everything changed. I knew in my heart that we would never be the same; it wasn't possible, but I was willing to try everything to get close, and if that meant going along with pretending like it never happened, then I would do just that.

But I knew good and well that I did happen, and I couldn't erase that from my memory.

My eyes scanned the crowd, searching for Jaime. He didn't stick out quite like he used to; he had tamed his hair, it wasn't crazy and out of control like it used to be, but his smile was still the thing that set him apart.

I didn't find that smile waiting for me; instead I found the shy smile of a familiar, tattooed mexican with a Padawan braid and a Key Street snapback resting on his head.

"Hey, Tone," I sighed, somewhat disappointed that my Hime-Time wasn't here to greet me; I was under the impression that he would be.

Tony opened his arms to me, allowing me to fold into them, and I hugged him back generously. "How was your flight, Ro?" He question softly as he pulled away, slyly tugging as his braid as Tony often did. He took my carry-on from me and proceeded to lead me through the airport towards baggage claim as I described the boring details of my short flight from San Deigo to here.

Though I had expected, and anticipated, to see Jaime, the only other person I would want here right now was Tony. He was the only one in the band who knew about Jaime and I, what had happened that night. As Jaime's best friend he was obligated to be there for him, but he was also there for me when I needed someone to vent to or a shoulder to cry on. He had proved to be an amazing friend, and he played a pivitol role in aiding to repair Jaime and I's broken friendship.

"Hey, Tone," I started, catching his attention with those two softly spoken words, "where's, uh, where's Jaime?"

He coughed a little, covering his mouth with his fist. "He wanted to be here, Ro, but, uh, I guess Jess got sick this morning so Jaime stayed at the hotel to take care of her." His words trailed off at the end, each syllable somehow quieter than the last.

"Jess is here?" The question flew from my mouth before I even knew what I was saying, the words sounding harsher than they should have. I felt my stomach tense, my mood deflating immediately, and Tony noticed. He shrugged his shoulders, silently nodding his head, and for some reason I felt, in that moment, that I could cry.

I liked Jessica, I did; Jaime loved her, he was happy with her, and as his best friend that was what mattered most to me. I wasn't necessarily upset by the fact that Jaime hadn't shown up at the airport as promised, but rather the fact that I had to share this weekend with her, that I had to compete for his attention with her.

Inside I knew I couldn't compete, and that hurt. And I didn't know why.

"C'mon," Tony said as he grabbed my suitcase off the carousel, "let's go get lunch before we head back."

Nodding my head, I fell in step with the quick pace that Tony had set, following him out to the awaiting taxi and ducking inside.

I was happy to be spending time with Tony; I had missed him, too. A lot, and we got along so well when we were together.

And as much as I loved Tony, he wasn't Jaime.

Notes