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Close Both My Eyes

Chapter Nine.

Now I'm the one who can't do this.



As I was pulled from my slumber those words played through my mind like a broken record, just as they did every morning and every night, never far from my thoughts.



The doorbell rang again, and I rolled over, glancing at my phone that rested on the table beside me, groaning loudly as I recognized that it was far too early for me to be awake, especially today.



From beyond my closed door I heard quick footsteps padding across the floor, the sounds of muffled speaking as the front door was opened, and then not one, but two sets of feet filing down the hall towards my room.



There was a light rapping on my door before it was forced open, and as I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes I smiled half-heartedly as my visitor stepped into my room.



"Do you have any idea what time it is, Tony?" I said with a groan as I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them tightly. He chuckled lightly, ignoring my comment, and from behind his back he withdrew a small, white box. As he approached my bedside he pulled back the lid, revealing a single red velvet cupcake, detailed with cream cheese frosting and dusted with sparkles.



"Happy birthday, Ro," he said sweetly, lighting the candle that protruded from the middle of the delicious treat.



With the small murmur of a thank you I gently blew out the flame, not bothering to make a wish; it wouldn't come true anyway, so what was the point?



Tony joined me on the bed, laughing as I messily ate the cupcake. We fell into easy conversation, laughing tenderly as we reminised about birthdays past, as we seemed to do every year.

But this year was different; it wasn't the same as the year before, or even the year before that. No, instead everything had changed, nothing seemed right because only Tony was here, and Jaime was not; because my best friend and I hadn't spoken in almost a month; because I was pretty sure Jaime was my best friend no more, and I couldn't shake the feeling that nothing would be the same anymore.

"Hey," Tony muttered out, nudging my shoulder with his. I turned towards him, mindlessly dusting the cupcake crumbs off my chest, watching them fall to the floor rather than allowing his eyes to make contact with my own. "I don't know what happened between you and Jaime, and you don't have to tell me; it's none of my business. But, I can tell that you're hurting, and if it's any consolation, Ro, he is, too."

I looked up at Tony, intrigued by his statement, yet deeply saddened at the same time.

"He's been acting really strange: not showing up for practices, arguing with Vic over creative stuff, even being short with fans. Whatever it is, he's not handling it well; he's not Jaime right now," Tony continued, and I began to feel tears pricking the backs of my eyes, though I did my best to keep them from view. No matter what was happening between Jaime and I, I still cared for him, I still loved him, and hearing that he was having hard time, whether I was to blame or not, it broke my heart; it really did.

I sat twidling my thumbs, trying to distract myself from the thousands of emotions that were milling around in my head, and I was startled when Tony slapped his thighs dramatically before pushing himself up off the bed and springing towards my side.

"C'mon," he said, a smile now gracing his face as he held both of his hands out in my direction, "It's your birthday, and we've got shit to do. So get up and get dressed, missy."

I reluctantly placed my hands into his, watching his hands practically swallow mine as he wrapped them around mine, and he pried me from the spot I had inhabited for much of the past several weeks.

"I thought my party didn't start until later," I whined, watching Tony roll his eyes, unhappy with the fact that I knew about the party at all; he could thank Sydney for that one, she hated surprises about as much as I did.

"It doesn't," he growled, releasing my hands from his tattooed grip and shoving them in the pockets of his Key Street jeans, "but it's never too early to start pre-gaming."

An evil grin played upon his lips, and I couldn't help but let out a chuckle as I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom to prepare for, what might possibly be the worst birthday ever.

----

The music was loud, the bass pumping through my body and flooding my veins, the beat drowing out everything around me.

The club was packed, hundreds of people entangled together in a mass of swaying bodies, groping hands, alcohol, and sweat. The club scene wasn't really my thing, but tonight was different; Tony and Sydney had planned this for weeks, wanting my big 2-6 to be nothing short of perfect, and I was trying to relish in the fact that, for the most part, it was just that.

I was surround by my closest friends, everyone smiling and happy. The alcohol flowed freely, and adding that to the drinking that Tony and I had done earlier in the afternoon, I was finally feeling at ease, and at times I felt thoughts of Jaime drifting far from my thoughts.

He wasn't here, I had scanned the room for him upon my arrival, and I couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, though the more I thought about it, the more upset I became. Jaime and I hadn't purposely missed a birthday in as long as we'd been friends, and though I knew things weren't good between us, I had at least hoped he would put that aside to wish me happy birthday. I'd like to think I would do the same if the roles were reversed, but considering the circumstances, I couldn't be sure.

Mike shuffled over, reaking of whiskey though the party had begun only a mere hour before. He smiled brightly at me, grabbing me by the hips and attempting to sway us in time with the pounding music that ricoched around us. I played along as best as I could, dancing up against Mike and trying my best to get lost in the moment, though I found that, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my eyes to look away from the door, a part of me still hoping to see Jaime walk through the entrance.

As if by some kind of miracle I saw that familiar spikey hair come into view, and I stopped my body, haulting my movements as I gazed incredulously at Jaime as he stood in the entrance, taking it all in. I smoothed my dress out as I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the confrontation that may possibly come.

Jaime continued to gaze around the room, and suddenly his eyes fell upon me, landing directly on mine as he stared at me; hard. His eyes held no emotion, no happiness or joy, and his lips twitched as if he wanted to smile, but he didn't; he fought it.

Fighting the voices in my head that screamed at me to find a distraction, I began pushing my way through the bodies as I tried to get to Jaime. It seemed as if I had been walking for miles, everything moving slow motion, and the more I walked, the more anxious I felt.

Just as I enclosed on them I felt my body force itself to a stop, reacting to the image that flashed in front of my eyes. I watched, horrified, as Jessica sauntered up behind Jaime, wrapping her slender arms around his waist and hugging tightly, whispering something in his ear as she scowled in the general direction of where my other guests were congregated.

It felt as if I had been stabbed right the heart; I could practically feel it breaking in two, my chest ripping right at the seams. The fact that he would even bring her here, considering that he had been made aware of my feelings, made me physically ill, and I felt that I would get sick right then and there.

Tears began to flood my eyes, and I was too broken to try to stop them. Jaime and I made eye contact, and I watched as his body stiffened at the sight of me crumpling in front of his eyes.

With one final glance back at my party, I wiped at my eyes, pushing in the opposite direction, towards the exit at the back of the building.

I forced my way out into the fresh, dense, San Diego night, and everything that I had been holding in for so long came pouring out as I fell to my knees on the asphalt, watching my tears hit the pavement.

Comments

YES OMG!
eliseypoo eliseypoo
7/28/13
you are awesome writing... this made me cry, laugh and more... thanks for such a beautiful story
natvengeance natvengeance
7/28/13
Omfg I love it! More asap
So happy you finally updated. I love this story.
KealieghRachel KealieghRachel
7/28/13
Awe this story just keeps getting better :D <3 I'm more than happy that you finally updated this! :D
Amberly_Love Amberly_Love
7/28/13