Pick Me Up

*Marley’s POV*

I was terrified, my heart beating a thousand times in my chest threatening to break open my chest. My breathing so uneasy my lungs threaten to explode open. My nerves so rickety that they threaten to make me eject from my car through my roof. How and more importantly, why, did I tell Jaime that I am ‘out of the social norm’ and that I’ve practically been alone for the past four years. I don’t do that. I barely speak to people, let alone speak about myself. No one really ever wants to hear about your personal shit or your sad sap story. Jaime even thought I was joking the first time I said I was alone. Oh god I really need to shut up.

“I’m sorry if I said something wrong” Jaime said soothingly, genuinely feeling as though he’d said something to upset me.

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m just not one to really detail my life or tell someone anything about me” I replied nervously. “It’s just something I don’t do”. I mouthed to myself ‘what the fuck Marley’ mentally giving myself an uppercut and a blow to the gut for saying such things.

But something changed in me in that moment of silence… I continued the conversation. “To be honest…” I began, thinking whether or not it was a good idea to finish the sentence, “besides my university lecturers and the lady I order coffee from every day, you’re the first person I’ve spoken to, socially, in weeks”. Okay so there was some slight exaggeration in that I sometimes talk to my uni friend Riley every now and again when we have a class, but overall, that’s it. I have not spoken to anyone outside of university and work. In weeks.

There was a tense silence before Jaime spoke, well I thought it was tense. “So, say for example, our interaction is a social event and I’m the first person you’ve spoken too, that kind of makes me your friend?” he hinted with a sly grin on his face.

“Oh, I don’t know…” I instantly began to blush, my heart beat rising quickly, pounding at the walls of my chest. I don’t know what was happening to me.

“Nope, that’s it. I’m your new friend, Jaime aka American” he cheered.

Blood continued to pour into my cheeks as senses I never knew I had begun to rise within me. Jaime had just made me his friend. A social friend. Something I have no had in several years. I began to feel excited, a smile threatening to plaster itself across my face. As much as I tried to continue my emotionless frown that I’d worn every day, the smile escaped.

“Okay” I answered, still smiling and blushing. “Friend”

Our conversation fell silent again for the third time on this seemingly never ending trip. Whilst we haven’t said much, I feel like I’ve been in this car for hours, finally getting to know someone and feeling somewhat human again. I felt different, but I think it’s a good different. It was, a warm sensation.

My daydream about becoming human again was short lived when I had to ask Jaime where I was taking him.

“I think it was this hotel called Mercury or something along those lines?” he looked at me funny. “I had it on my phone before I dropped it” he laughed.

“The Mecure? Does that sound familiar?” I asked curiously.

“Yeah I think that’s it!” Jaime cheered. No fucking way. There is no fucking way life is doing this to me.

“I guess you’re in luck, that’s the place I’m staying at” I smiled half-heartedly.
I didn’t know how I felt about this. There was the normal part of me wishing that the social interaction would end soon because it was becoming all too much. But strangely enough, there was a new part of me speaking up in the back of my mind. It was having a mini celebration that we were staying at the same hotel, slightly pondering the possibility of running into each other again.

“How lucky is that” he laughed sweetly. “Staying at the same hotel as my new friend here!”
I smiled and let out a small laugh in agreement and somewhat excitement.

I began to feel uncomfortable as Jaime was so bouncy and cheery at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I love to see people happy and excited, I could watch it happen to people for years on end, but it started to become too much for me personally. I suppressed the thoughts of the possibility of seeing him again after I dropped him off and attempted to force my heart rate down and the smile off my lips. I had to change the conversation.

“So, what are you going to do about your phone?” I asked in the spur of the moment thought.

“To be honest, I haven’t thought about it. I guess I should get it fixed as soon as possible hey” Jaime looked at me. “I don’t come to Sydney very often but you seem to. Do you think you could show me around? Show me where an American would be able to get their phone repaired, well replaced. I’m pretty sure this thing is irreparable” he laughed holding up the smashed brick. Placing it back down, he turned to look at me, looking for me to say yes to taking him around Sydney to help get a new phone.

My anxiety rose quickly, the thought of more social interaction terrifying me. “I uh… I uh have work tonight, but maybe if you’re still around tomorrow I might be able to?” I said questioningly. More questioning myself and my ability to through with the commitment my body has just made having gone against my mind.

“I’d like that” Jaime smiled cheerfully. Something about his smile and happy tone of voice settled anxiety in me. Each and every time it rose within me in this car, he'd say something that somehow made things feel better and no long overwhelming. Oh god I'm so confused.

Notes

More insight into Marley.
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