“I can never do anything right! I always fuck something up! Why don’t you just fucking dump me?” Mike screamed at me from across the room, slamming his fist into his wall.

“Michael, calm the fuck down!” I groaned from my spot on the bed, tears flowing from my eyes.

“Break up with me, Cassie. Fucking do it!” He said while approaching me.

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up to look into his eyes. His eyes were cloudy, he looked like he was ready to cry any minute. “Please stop,” I cried out while reaching for his face.

He shoved me off him and walked towards the door, “I wish you’d do it! But no, you’re too fucking scared.” He slammed the door behind him, and soon the bathroom door was slammed as well.

I bolted out of bed, not caring that I was only in his t-shirt and nothing else. I reached for the bathroom door handle, it was locked. I heard the water running in the sink and I smelt smoke. I banged my fists on the door, “Open the door, Mikey. Please!”

“Fuck off,” he snarled from the other side.

“Please!” I screamed, “I don’t want you in there alone! Baby please.”

“Go home, Cassandra,” he said slowly and then I heard him sniffle and turn the water off. “Leave me alone.”

“Mike,” I cried and scratched at the door.

He didn’t say anything back, but I could hear him crying. I called his name out a few more times, asking for him to open the door. he wouldn’t respond to me. I sunk down and laid my back against the door, my knees resting against my chest, crying uncontrollably. I couldn’t tell you how long I sat like that, a half hour? An hour? I didn’t know. It felt like a fucking life time. I could no longer hear him making any noise and I was starting to get worried.

I took a deep breath through my nose and banged my head back onto the door, “You’re scaring me.”

“I’m right here, Cass. I’m okay,” his voice came out calm and collect. I let out a sigh of relief and heard him slump against the door, his head making the same noise mine just did.

I gnawed on my lip, “Can you please come out here with me? I’ll go get your pills and a glass of water. You can meet me on the deck.”

“I... I don’t know, Cass...” he said softly.

“Please,” I sighed. That meant he did something to himself and didn’t want me to see. I tear escaped from my eye and slipped down my cheek. I sniffled, “Mikey, I’m going to find out no matter what, you might as well just face it now. I’ll go wait for you outside.”


I sat on my usual chair outside, my hands folded on my lap with Mike’s depression medicine in them. His glass of water was next to me, the ice already melted from the heat. I managed to slip a pair of underwear on underneath the shirt, just in case anyone came home. I skipped school again today. I only had three days left and I wasn’t going to go. They could just mail my report card to my house. I had all A’s anyway. Mike and I got in a heated argument because I passed out after we had sex. I had to confess to him that I relapsed. I found another note on my car telling me that I was disgusting and fat. I hadn’t eaten in two days and I had skipped therapy. He had no idea because he was working and busy with band practice. He blamed himself for my relapse, and that’s what brought us to this moment in the present.

I sighed and looked at the sky. The sun was shining bright and strong. There were only a few clouds scattering about. Birds were tweeting as they flew by. I bit my lip as I thought about everything. I could never understand how it could be so beautiful outside. So peaceful and happy... and then inside it was chaos. I don’t just mean chaos because of Mike and I’s argument, but the issues that were inside both of us. I had an eating disorder. Mike was depressed. We were doing so good, and here we were again... wasting away.

Mike appeared in front of me, taking me out of my thoughts. He had no shirt on, still in only his boxers. He had gauze taped to his left arm, blood already staining the white fabric. His eyes were now bloodshot. He reached out to me, looking at the ground. I placed the two pills in his left hand and then the glass of water in his right. He took them and then handed the glass back to me, half empty. He took a seat in the chair that was next to mine, all that separated us was the table that held his cigarettes and water. He grabbed the pack and lit one up, then threw the pack over to me.

I lit my own cigarette and brought it to my lips, “How many?”

“Three,” he said with no emotion in his voice what-so-ever.

I nodded and exhaled. I closed my eyes and tried to get a grip on this. I opened my eyes and looked at him. His eyes were closed, his head leaning back onto the house as he smoked. He felt my gaze on him and he opened his eyes and looked at me.

“Where is it, Mike?” He didn’t say anything, he just looked down at his lap. “Where the fuck is it?” I asked while standing up and throwing my cigarette over the railing.

“No,” he said quietly and looked into my eyes.

I shook my head and walked into the house, determined to find where the hell he put whatever he cut himself with. I knew it wasn’t a razor, and I knew it would be in his room because he wasn’t stupid enough to leave it in the bathroom where someone could find it. I walked into his room, closing and locking the door behind me. I examined the room, looking for a clue or a space that looked like it was disturbed. Mike was a neat freak, so usually it was easy to find out where he was hiding something, but when we’d fight he’d slam and break shit and destroy everything... so right now his room looked like a war zone. I walked over to his dresser, ripping all the drawers open and scanning through them, finding nothing. I searched through his closet finding nothing once again. He would never hide it anywhere in or near his drums, I knew that much. He wouldn’t dare do that because he knew I would destroy them to find it. I looked everywhere that I thought it could be. He hadn’t come to the room. He knew better than to try and stop me. It would just cause another fight, and that was something that neither one of us could handle right now.


I was ready to give up, in tears. I didn’t like that he would hide it somewhere that was so hard to find. It made me think that he really didn’t want me to get it. It made me scared that he would hurt himself again once I’d leave for therapy in the afternoon. I flopped down onto the bed in defeat, sniffling and throwing my arms down. My right hand dangled off the bed and hit something sharp. I hissed out in pain and pulled my hand up to me, it was dripping blood.

“Finally,” I cursed under my breath as I hopped down from the bed.

Sticking out from in between the mattress and the box-spring was a small object tinted red. I ripped Mike’s black t-shirt off my body and held it in my hand so I wouldn’t get blood on anything. My hand was oozing it. I pushed up the mattress and set my eyes on a piece of broken glass from an alcohol bottle. I grabbed it and set it on top of the bed, wiping it off with the shirt in my hand. I closed my eyes and sighed happily, I had finally found it.

I walked out of Mike’s room to find him still sitting outside. His eyes darted to me as I walked outside. They settled on my hand and he gasped, “Oh my god, Cassie. You’re bleeding.”

I shrugged and held the glass out in front of me, “No more, Mikey.” I threw it over the railing and watched it fall to the ground. I wiped my eyes with my left hand, my right hand still bleeding as I held it against my side. The blood was cascading down my side and onto my underwear, but that was the least of my worries at the moment. “No more,” I said softly while looking at Mike.

He had managed to stand up in front of me as I tossed it. He pulled me into his arms, letting out a big sigh. He grabbed my right hand and brought it to his lips, kissing over the injury that sat there. His lips were covered in my blood. He held my hands with his own, applying a lot of pressure to my right hand with his left one. “I hurt you, Cassie,” he whispered.

“Shh,” I said while resting my head on his chest. “I don’t care. I could get hit by a car and I wouldn’t care as long as you’re okay. I love you, Michael... I... I can’t handle you hurting yourself again. It’s been over a year.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said with a sniffle. He kept repeating that he was sorry over and over again while he held me close, his hands still holding mine. Today was too much to handle. I honestly felt like I was living a nightmare right now. “I’m so sorry. I love you so much,” he said for the tenth time.

I looked up and pressed my lips to his, not giving two shits that his lips were bloody from my hand. I let go of his hands and wrapped mine around his neck, pulling him down to my height. I rested my forehead against his, “Please stop apologizing.”


We spent the next few hours together in silence. Mike cleaned up the bathroom while I cleaned up his room. We needed to get all signs of blood and anything else out of the house so that Vic and his parents wouldn’t find out about what happened today. That was Mike’s opinion; even though I felt like he knew I was going to end up telling Vic what happened. After we cleaned, we both took a bath. A legit bath together. We didn’t do anything sexual. We washed each other clean of the blood that covered both of us. He pulled the gauze off his wrist and let me see the three fresh cuts that sat on his tanned skin. He held me against his chest as I cried with his arm in my hands, kissing over his cuts multiple times. When we were done in the bath I wrapped up his cuts and he wrapped up my hand. We looked at each other and shared our first smile of the day, at two in the afternoon. Then we got dressed and I watched some television while he made us both some mac n cheese.

Mike plopped down on the couch next to me after putting our bowls in the dishwasher. He pulled my head into his lap and ran his hands through my long locks, ridding them of any tangles. I sighed as I nuzzled my face into his thighs, feeling content in the moment.

“Can I come with you to therapy tonight?” He said quietly, “Only if you want.”

I smiled, “I’d like that a lot.”

Notes

Okay, okay I know this was depressing.
But it was kind of necessary for the plot.
Please don't hate me.

They'll be back to their happy selves in no time.
They both relapsed... ut oh.
What happens now?
Mike's going to therapy with Cassie...
Interesting.

Next update will be by Wednesday.
GO READ SAM'S TOWN.
My last chapter got so much feedback.


I love all my readers, on both stories.
You guys are fabulous and I love you ok?
Okay

xoxoxoxo