Don't Make This Easy

Three days. It's been three days since my dad died. Three whole days without a call, a text, or him stopping by.

To say I was a wreck would be an understatement. I didn't look it. Cammy made sure I looked decent. Kate put her in charge of that, and in charge of keeping me sober at least until after the funeral tomorrow. She knew if she left it up to me I would probably be at the bottom of a bottle somewhere.

I stared blankly across the club at my friends, practically ignoring the blonde that was hanging all over me, kissing my neck and working her way up my thigh. They all looked concerned. Cammy just shook her head and spun on her chair so her back was to me. Vic and Tony were watching me carefully, exchanging words with each other every once in a while. Jaime and Mike would occasionally look over at me with a worried glance but would quickly look away and go back to talking amongst themselves.

“You want some?” The girl asked, holding up a small glass vile filled with white powder. I took a sharp breath. I knew exactly what that was.

“Maybe in a bit.” I told her.

She nodded and opened the container. She sprinkled a little bit of it onto my chest and moved it into a neat line. I leaned back against the booth and she took the line. She licked the leftovers off and kissed her way up my chest to my neck. Her hand was back on my thigh, working its way higher and higher until it was completely under the skirt of my dress. Her fingers lightly brushed over my lace thong, sending a shiver up my spine.

“You like that?” She purred in my ear.

“Give me a line and I'll show you just how much.” I told her.

She grinned and pulled the vile back out, sprinkling it on her own chest and forming a neat line for me. I took the line quickly, not giving a single fuck about my sobriety or what my friends thought, and did just as she had done, licking the residue off her chest, kissing my way up her neck until I reached her lips.

“Jace!” I stopped kissing the girl and glared up at Vic.

“What?” I snapped.

“I'm sorry, is this your boyfriend or something?” The girl asked. I shook my head.

“Overbearing brother.” I informed her.

Vic grabbed my upper arm then dragged me out of the booth and over to the group. As soon as I was within arms reach, Cammy hauled off and slapped me across the face.

“What the fuck was that for?” I yelled.

“I know you're hurting right now Jace, but really? Whores and coke?!” She screamed at me.

“Big fucking deal! It's nothing I haven't done before. Hell, it's nothing you haven't done before!” I snapped.

“You are so fucking lucky that I'm drunk right now and I can't drive you home or else I would be dragging you out to the car right now and kicking your stupid ass the second we got home!” She yelled. I rolled my eyes and asked the bartender for a beer. He handed it to me and I turned to leave again. Vic grabbed my arm to stop me but I ripped it away and went back to the booth that I was sitting at before.

“Hey.” The blonde smiled. Why couldn't I remember her name?

“Let's get out of here.” I told her.

She grinned and followed me out of the bar. We went to a hotel that was down the road and I got us a room. When we got upstairs we sat on the bed.

“So, what are we gonna do now?” She asked. I shrugged and laid back on the bed, crossing my arms behind my head.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked. She pulled out a tiny plastic bag that had a little blue pill in it.

“Ever had sex while on ecstasy?” She asked. I shook my head. I was willing to try anything though. Anything that's possibly make me feel something. Something other than emptiness.

She moved next to the nightstand and cut the pill in half with a little razor blade she had in her purse, and then crushed up both halves.

“Open your mouth and lift your tongue.” She said.

I said up and did as she told me to. She then put the powder under my tongue and told me to close my mouth and hold it under my tongue as long as I could. She then did the same for herself. After a minute she took a sip of water and then handed it to me so I could do the same, washing down the horrible taste of the drugs.

She then climbed on top of me and pushed me down on the bed so that she was straddling my hips. She moved down my legs a bit, her hands creeping back up my skirt like the had earlier. She pushed my dress up over my hips and then had me sit up so she could take it off me completely. She pushed me back onto the bed and kissed me hard, biting my lip occasionally and tangling her hands in my hair. I kissed her back without any hesitation, my hands roaming her body freely. She grabbed my hands and pinned them next to my head.

“No touching. I can tell you need this a lot more than I do.” She said as she kissed my neck.

She let go of one of my hands and lightly brushed her fingertips against the inside of my thigh and over my lace underwear again. I moaned softly at her touch, eager for more. God it had been so long since I'd had sex last.

She hooked her fingers around my underwear and pulled them off, throwing them aside. Her fingers teasingly stroked my core, making me moan again. She grinned and slowly slipped two fingers inside me, pumping slow at first but steadily gaining speed. My breathing picked up and I tilted my head back, closing my eyes.

“Oh fuck.” I breathed.

“You like that baby?” She asked as she kissed my neck.

I grabbed her hair with my free hand and brought her lips to mine hungrily as her fingers continued to increase their speed. I rocked my hips against her hand and moaned loudly as the ecstasy started to kick in, intensifying everything she did.

She pulled her fingers out suddenly, but left her hand on me, teasing me with small, delicate movements. She started kissing my neck again, then worked her way down to my chest. She put her mouth around my nipple, sucking and swirling her tongue around. I arched my back in pleasure, moaning again. She started kissing her way down my body, stopping when she got to my hips. She repositioned herself, and pulled me closer to her by my legs. She kissed the insides of my thighs hungrily, and worked her way to my core. She let her mouth hover for a minute, letting her warm breath tease me a bit more. Then she wrapped her lips around my folds, using her tongue skillfully.

“Jesus Christ.” I gasped. I could feel her smile against my core and she plunged her tongue inside me as far as she could.

“Fuck this is amazing.” I moaned.

She moved her tongue around inside me and then replaced it with her fingers. She licked and sucked at my clit while she pumped her fingers slowly, driving me insane. I rocked my hips, trying to encourage her to go faster, but she pushed my hips down with her free hand and continued at her slow pace. I moaned and squirmed under her touch as the knot in my stomach tightened. My breathing got faster and she grinned when she realized that I was close. That was when she picked up the pace. She pumped her fingers quicker and quicker as my breathing got faster and I got louder. She slowed down a bit, slipping a third finger in me, and she curled her fingers inside me while she continued to lick my folds. She kept curling her fingers faster and faster and kept going as my muscles started to tighten around her.

“Oh my god.” I moaned loudly. She kept going, fingering me faster and catching all of my juices with her tongue. “Oh fuck!! Don't stop.” I begged as my orgasm ripped through me. She kept going, increasing her pace until my breathing started to slow again. She came up from between my legs and kissed me.

“How was that?” She asked. I laughed and closed my eyes.

“Pretty good.” I said. Almost immediately my previous feelings, or lack thereof, returned and I sighed. I didn't feel drunk anymore. I didn't feel like I was on anything. I didn't feel anything.

“You need me to do that again? Because baby I could make you come all night if it makes you feel better.” I shook my head and stared up at the ceiling.

“You should go.” I told her. She frowned but got up and collected her things, then left.

“Oh, sorry.” She said on her way out. I looked over at the door, wondering what she meant. My eyes went wide and I covered myself with the comforter.

“Tony, what the fuck are you doing here and how the fuck did you find me?” I snapped.

“Get dressed, I'm bringing you home.” He said as he tossed my dress at me. He sounded frustrated.

“Why? So Cam can slap me again? Not happening.” I said.

“As much as you honestly deserve it, no. I'm just making sure you get home before you get any other stupid ideas.” He said. “Now get dressed.”

I sighed and pulled my dress over my head, then got up and put my underwear back on, almost falling over as I did so. Tony grabbed my arm quickly, making sure that that didn't fall, but I pulled my arm away from him.

“I can stand on my own, thank you very much.” I said as I headed to the door.

“Clearly you can't.” He said. “How much fucking coke did you do?” I shrugged and opened the door.

“Just what you guys saw me do.” I said as we walked over to the elevator. We got in and Tony hit the bottoms for the ground floor and to close the door.

“Then what the hell else are you on?” He asked. I laughed and smiled at him. Well, it was more of a smirk.

“Wouldn't you like to know.” I said.

Tony sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he leaned against the railing in the elevator while we waited for it to get to the ground floor.

The doors opened and we headed outside to his car. He drove straight to my apartment, not saying a word the whole way over. When he pulled up I could see the light on in my apartment and sighed. Cammy was there, if not Vic, Mike, and Jaime too. We headed up to my apartment and the second I walked in, Cammy slapped me across the face again.

“What hell is wrong with you!” She yelled.

“Cam, I swear to god if you slap me again I will not hesitate to punch you.” I said as I pushed past her and sat down on the couch.

“Oh I'll slap you all I fucking want.” She said.

“Cam, seriously. Lay off the slapping.” Vic said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah we really don't need a cat fight at 2 in the morning.” Mike said.

“Honestly though Jace, what were you thinking?” Vic asked me. I just held my head in my hands and stared down at the ground.

“I don't know.” I mumbled.

“What?” He asked, clearly not hearing me the first time.

“I don't know!” I shouted. “I wasn't thinking, alright! I just..” I stopped mid sentence, fighting the urge to puke.

“You just what?” Mike asked. “Thought it would be fun to get drunk and do some coke?”

“No, I-” I stopped again and got up quickly, running to the bathroom. I dropped to my knees in front of the toilet, throwing up all of the alcohol I had drank that night. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and leaned against the wall.

“You guys go. I got her.” I heard Tony say quietly.

“Dude, I live here.” Cammy said.

“You can crash on my couch.” Vic said.

Everyone went quiet and a moment later I heard the front door close. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wall, breathing deeply as I tried not to throw up again. I heard Tony walk over and he sat down next to me.

“Here.” He said. I opened my eyes and he handed me a bottle of water. I took it and thanked him.

“Please don't try to get me to talk right now.” I said quietly.

He nodded and stood up. He flushed the toilet for me and turned the shower on, then helped me up. I got undressed and got in the shower while he went down the hall to grab a towel and fresh clothes. He waited on the bathroom floor while I showered, and then helped me to my room once I was dressed.

I crawled under the covers on my bed and hugged my pillow tightly to my chest.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asked.

I nodded and he kicked off his shoes, took his hat off, turned the lights off, and laid down next to me, wrapping his arms around me. I grabbed his hand and laced my fingers through his, squeezing his hand tightly.

I bit my lip as I fought back tears. I felt like shit. The room was spinning, my head was pounding, my whole life just got turned upside down and it felt like it was falling apart. I took a deep breath, my body shaking as a sob escaped my lips and tears fell. Tony propped himself up on one arm and looked at me, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

“Hey, it's alright.” He said softly. I just shook my head as I cried, unable to say anything. “Come here.” I rolled over so I was facing him and he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tight.

“I'm so sorry.” I cried as I wrapped my arms around him, hanging onto him as if my life depended on it.

“It's okay.” He said as he kissed the top of my head and stoked my hair to comfort me. “Just go to sleep. I'm not going anywhere.”

He kept stroking my hair and hummed softly, doing anything he could to calm me down. After a while it worked, and I fell asleep soon after.

Notes