“I’ve got a feeling I don’t wanna find the truth.”

---

The week had dragged on and before I knew it I was sitting in my last class of the week, music appreciation. I sat in my seat next to Vic but still as far away from him as I could get. He hadn’t tried to talk to me since Tuesday, not that I minded. I’d been thinking about what he was going to ask me that day, but since he didn’t speak to me after our first day of detention I tried to let it slip from my mind.

I was drawing in my notebook waiting for class to start. Ms. Pope wasn’t in yet so we all had a little time to ourselves. Some students were discussing their weekend plans; others were talking about the paper due next week that they hadn’t started.

“Okay class, sorry I’m late.” The chatter stopped gradually as Ms. Pope entered the room. “It’s been a rough day so that’s why I have a proposal for you all.” A few students looked at each other skeptically.

“Uh, what kind of proposal?” a kid, Alan, asked.

“Well,” Ms. Pope started, “we’ve been spending the better part of this semester talking about the history of music. How about we get away from that and talk about performance? Or rather, how about we perform?”

“Perform what?” I asked. She smiled at me.

“Music appreciation is about learning what goes into a song, from the beginning of musical time up until now. I’m proposing we skip some parts of that and start working on a project that I was saving for next semester.” Twenty blank faces looked back at her as she spoke.

“You all will partner up and create your own original song employing some of the things you’ve learned this semester. Obviously you’ll have a tempo and harmonies but I want you to go further than that. Can your song include chant like from the Medieval period or some of the essences of the Romantic Era? I want you to include one significant part of any era that we are studying.”

“When will this be due?” a girl asked.

“Not until next semester. I haven’t picked a specific date but I know I want them the week after spring break. That means you and your partner will have to work together over the breaks to ensure that you have a good, functioning song. I’ll give you a rubric on Tuesday but for now you can find a partner and start brainstorming ideas.” She waved her hands and just like that the class erupted into chatter again.

I stayed in my seat, looking down at my lap. I didn’t know anyone in this class and now I had to be partnered up with someone. That was something I wasn’t looking forward to at all.

“Hey.” I turned my head and looked at Vic.

“Yes?”

“You wanna team up on this thing with me?” My eyes nearly popped out of my head.

“Seriously?” I asked skeptically. He rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, forget I asked.” He got up without another word and left the room. Ms. Pope didn’t even try to stop him.

I wanted to ignore it just like she had done. I wanted to let him leave and find the nerve to partner up with someone, but as I looked around the room I saw the groups of friends who had clearly known each other for more than a week. No one knew me; no one made a move towards me. That fact alone made me want to retreat into myself.

With a sigh I got up and walked out of class. I had no idea where I was going but I knew what I was looking for. I first tried the bathroom but seeing that it was empty led me to try somewhere else. I walked further down the hall towards the band hall. I was about to turn around when I saw a figure sitting on the brick wall outside.

I wanted to leave him out there but something told me not to. Maybe it was because I had already walked out of class for no good reason so I kinda needed one. I stuck with that explanation as I pushed the door open. The sound made him look in my direction. He didn’t look annoyed with me like I had thought. Instead he was wearing a blank face.

“Uh, hey,” I said timidly. He nodded and turned to look back toward the parking lot ahead of him.

We stayed like that for a little bit, me standing by the door and him on the wall, clearly ignoring my existence. I could’ve left but something kept me glued to the ground.

He sighed. “What do you want?”

“Ms. Pope wanted me to bring you back to class,” I lied. He looked at me with his head tilted.

“No she didn’t,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah she did.”

“You’re a really bad liar.” I rolled my eyes.

“Fine, it’s your funeral.” I turned to walk away when his voice stopped me.

“Wait.” I looked back. “Just…why did you really come out here?”

Why did I? Was it because I was worried about him? I mean, he did leave class in a hurry after I rejected him. Was he really that hurt? Maybe he just wasn’t used to not getting his way. Either way, he did seem pretty beat up about it.

“You left and I saw you out here,” I answered.

“But is that all?” I nodded, not wanting to voice my thoughts. “Okay.” He got off the wall and walked back in the building. I followed behind him. No words were exchanged between us. We didn’t even speak when we reentered the classroom. Ms. Pope didn’t say anything to us either. For the rest of the hour Vic and I acted like the other one didn’t exist.

***

“He’s so weird.” I draped the upper half of my body over the arm of Lynn’s couch dramatically. It was Saturday night and I was over at her place with her friends, who were slowly becoming mine.

“You’ve said that like three times already,” Savannah pointed out.

“Yeah but it needs to be said again.”

“Well will you tell us what he did because if I hear you say he’s weird one more time without context I’m kicking you out.” I poked Lynn in the face with my foot that was once sitting in her lap.

“Shut up, pint-sized,” I said playfully. She hit my shin.

“Whatever, just tell us what he did.”

“He just, left.” I sat up after a few seconds to see them all staring at me. I sighed. “Okay, we were in class and he asked me to be his partner. I didn’t really respond so then he just left.”

“Did he tell you why?” Tori asked.

I shook my head. “No, but we talked a little when I found him.”

“Was he crying? How many tears? Was he a little bitch?”

“No you red-headed martyr,” I said to Savannah. “He was just sitting and then we talked, but when we went back inside he didn’t say a single word to me.”

“Maybe he didn’t want anyone to know that he needed to be comforted,” Trent said.

“But why? I mean, he asked me to work with him and then he doesn’t want anything to do with me? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“He’s a tough guy, Kellin,” Tyler chimed in. “He has a rep that can’t be broken or else no one will take him seriously. He noticed that he was being a little bitch so he shut off those emotions. Kinda dumb if you ask me.”

I thought about it. What Tyler said did make a lot of sense.

“But he hasn’t bothered me all week. After the incident on Monday he’s left me alone. He hasn’t even looked in my direction.”

“Aw Kellin, do you want Vic to notice you?” I furrowed my brows at Jenna’s suggestive comment.

“No,” I nearly screamed. “The last thing or person I want is Vic Fuentes. Ew, no.”

“Calm down Kells, she was just joking.” Lynn patted my legs to accompany her words. I shrugged and took a sip of my soda.

“Whatever, I’m tired of talking about my bully, or whatever he is. Can I school you guys in Smash or what?”

“Oh you’re on!”

The night went on without talk of Vic, but my mind didn’t have such luck. Jenna’s words stuck with me. Why was I so concerned with Vic? I didn’t really find him attractive, did I? No, I didn’t. He was a jerk to me; I was just confused by his game. He went from insisting that he’d make my life hell to ignoring me to that weird moment outside, and it’d only been five days. I sighed to myself. Whatever, I didn’t need to think about it, so I didn’t.

***

I walked into the house quietly. It was barely eleven but I knew that Rick was probably asleep. The lights were all off in the house and I didn’t want to disturb him.

I turned the lock on the door slowly so the clicking sound wouldn’t ring through the room. Once it was locked I turned to the stairs, desperately wanting to get in bed after such a long week. Hanging out with Lynn and her friends was fun but I had been over there since 8:30. I wanted my bed.

I approached the steps that would lead me to my mattress but stopped when I saw a light come from the living room. My curiosity spiked and I went toward it. Rick was asleep in his chair with the TV on. I guess he had had a hard week too. I looked for the remote but stopped when I noticed something else.

Next to Rick on the table were three empty beer bottles and half a bottle of scotch. An empty glass was on the table as well. I frowned. Rick wasn’t one to drink. In fact, that was one of the reasons Mom agreed to go out with him. My biological dad was a heavy drinker and Mom hated it, mostly because she’d seen people enter the hospital who were victims of drunk driving accidents. She made me swear that if I ever drank that I’d be safe about it.

I cleaned up the display on the table quickly and quietly. Mom was going to be home around midnight tonight and I didn’t want her to see her husband like that. Unfortunately I couldn’t move Rick on my own, nor did I really want to. It was awkward seeing him passed out drunk, and I wanted nothing to do with it. For Mom’s sake though I would try to make the situation look less bad.

I turned the TV off and turned on one of the lamps in the room. After sending a quick text to Mom that her husband fell asleep in the living room I went upstairs. I opted to skip a shower and changed and crawled into bed.

My mind replayed the events of the week. Everything from moving to starting classes to making new friends played back. The more I thought about everything, the more Jenna’s words came back to me. I let out a frustrated sigh and begged my brain to think of anything else. My wish was granted when I glanced at my door.

I was worried about Rick. Who knew that his new job would be so stressful that he’d drink? I just prayed that Mom didn’t find out. She didn’t need to be reminded of my biological father. He was dead to us and we didn’t need any resemblances rehashing any memories.

I sighed and turned onto my side. I would talk to Rick in the morning, or maybe I’d just forget about it. It was probably just a one-time thing. Yeah, it was a one-time thing.

That’s what I kept telling myself as I drifted off to sleep.

Notes