I leave Jaimes room in just sweat pants, underwear and a bra. I walk past the guys who give me strange looks all but jaime, who’s smirking. I steal Jaimes sweatshirt hanging off the back off the couch, before I can pull it on I hear Tony, “Hey, Hales?”

“Yea?” Finally having the sweatshirt on I walk over to Jaime and sit next to him, draping my legs across his lap.

“What happened to your hip?”

“Huh?” I stare at him, confused before I realize what he’s talking about, “oh, uh, I took a run and I tripped and ended up falling against a tree and got scratched.” I’m sure I over did that one, but they didn’t seem to question it. The only one who paid more attention to it was Vic, I give him a questioning glance in which he replies with a shake of his head.

Topics quickly change, unsure of what the conversation was about I decided to zone out completely and run songs through my head. Next thing I know, Tony is nudging me with his foot trying to get me to return back to the conversation that they’re trying to have with me. “Sorry, what?”

“We’ve decided you’re staying. You’re our new roommate. You can have Jaimes room, you already basically live in there anyways,” Mike jokes pulling the guys into a laughing fit.

“I can’t stay, seriously guys, I’m not putting that on you. I just have to move out of my old apartment.”

“Why? Did something happen?” Finally Vic spoke up, I was beginning to think that he wasn’t going to talk to me since the lie I had told earlier.

“We got in a fight and there’s no taking back what they said to me. I’d rather live out of a car than have people, who I thought were my friends, say things like that to me.” The memory of the fight came into mind and now it won’t leave. I wonder if that’s how it’s going to be forever. All of these things sticking around in the back of my mind, begging to get my full attention.

“What did they say,” Vic says with what seems to be anger in his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter. They said it, I yelled, they yelled back. They were saying the truth and I was just being a bitch ‘cause I didn’t want to hear it.”

“Seriously, Hales, what did they say?” Jaime asked, knowing no one else would get an answer.

“I’m going to bed. Night guys.” Trying to hide my watering eyes, I get up and make my way up the stairs going to Jaimes room. I collapse into his bed, let the tears fall with everything going through my head, torturing me.

~~~

“Haley, what the fuck is this? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Taylor walked up to me holding a handful of my blades before dropping them on the counter. “You said you stopped. You know how disgusting this is.”

I swiped all the blades into my hand to take them back to my room. “Good morning to you too Taylor. Oh, and thanks for going through my fucking room again. Such a helpful roommate you are.”

“What the hell is wrong with you Haley? You know what, I think you need to move out. We don’t need a fat-ass anorexic cutting bitch here. We never wanted you here in the first place. You were just to help cover rent.”

“Really Jenna, really? Who the fuck are you to talk about anorexia? Do you suddenly have no recollection of high school?” I was nearly shouting at her, standing in the doorway of my room.

“You’re just a worthless, pathetic pig. If you’re going to cut then you should cut deeper.” I stared at Taylor as she said this. The look in her eyes showed that she wasn’t saying anything she didn’t believe.

“I’ll have most my stuff out by the morning. I’ll come back for the rest later. Is that ok with you, I mean I wouldn’t want my fat ass to get in your way.”

“That’s fine. Just move the fuck out. We don’t want you here.”

“Yea I get it Jen, you don’t need to keep telling me.” I slammed my door shut, locked it and began packing.

~~~

The memory is way too vivid. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. I know what I need, but here I’ll probably get caught. I look across Jaimes room and thankfully all my bags had been moved in here. I get up and dig through my bags frantically, looking for my small makeup bag. Finally, I pull it out and find multiple brand new blades hiding in a pocket of the bag. Spinning it around between my fingers, watching the small amount of light in the room reflect off the surface. I lay on my back and lift the sweatshirt a little along with slightly pushing down the side of my sweatpants, giving me exposure to my hip. Without any hesitation I press the blade against my hip and slide it across my skin, relief flowing through me. Pulling paper towels from the makeup bag, still on the floor next to me, I place them on the floor to catch the blood dripping from my skin. I continue to make slices across my skin until I am satisfied with what I’ve done.

I know its not enough to feel good, but at least it’s helping a little. I clean the blood from my hip and find the bandages in my bag. As I begin to bandage my cuts light floods into the room. Looking up, I see Vic in the doorway and scramble to hide everything. I can’t tell if he looks more shocked or more hurt. “H-haley, did you just...” Vic stutters.

“Did I just what? I was just going through my bag,” I hate lying through my teeth, but really what choice do I have.

“Hales, don’t lie to me. I know what you just did. I know saying ‘just stop’ won’t help any, but I’m here ok? Anytime you need me, I’m here.” As he’s saying all this tears begin to slip from my eyes. “By the way, think about it, Haley, I figured it out so easily. The guys will figure it out soon. Probably Jaime before Mike or Tony. Let me help bandage you please. I hope you know that I'm not mad or anything. I just wish you hadn't felt the need to do it when we're all here. We want to protect you, Hales. Please just let us help you, I really don't want to find you like this again and I don't want it to get worse. We love you Haley, try to let us help.” I allow Vic to bandage my hip as I cry. I cover myself again, try to stop crying and make my way out of Jaimes room and down to the kitchen.

I don’t encounter anyone until I get into the kitchen where the four of them are sitting at a table. I walk in and they all grow silent when they see that I’m silently crying. “Haley?” I hear Mike, not sure if it’s a question or not, either way it doesn’t really matter.

“Hmm?” I groan in reply as I start to heat water for tea.

“Can you please tell us what happened? It obviously was bad enough to do this to you.”

“I’m fine Mike. It really doesn’t matter. What they said is true so it doesn’t matter.”

“Come on Hales.” I look up to face Mike, then across to Tony, Vic and Jaime. Their worry is extremely evident.

“There’s so much to tell and I don’t think I could say it all. At least not yet.” I mumble loud enough for them to hear as I finish making my tea. Taking my cup in my hand I walk to the living room and sit on a couch trying to not hit my hip against anything. “If you guys want to know then you should probably come in here.” As soon as I said it, they were sitting around me. And so I began, telling the story of how Jenna and Taylor treated me, but holding back from mentioning other things.

Notes

so kinda a lot in this one i guess even though it's a little short (is it?) just let me know if y'all like it. by the way i know some people don't always understand it so i'll just say it. the part in the middle that is italisized is a flashback.
I'll have another chapter up in like a week maybe. I'm going to Vans Warped Tour on sunday (June 23) so unless i post saturday night there wont be one for nearly a week. thank you for reading it. (':

title credit goes ti Pierce the Veil