Tangled in the Great Escape
Bleeding Out
Everything can change in a moment. Minutes tick by and what comes next is unknown. The unknown will forever terrify me. Today I didn’t know what I was going to do or eat. Today I didn’t know when Jaime would be getting home or if he’d be home soon enough.
~~~
I’m sitting in the nursery on the rocking chair, well, couch, in just a bra and lounge shorts while humming a song of Pierce the Veil’s I’ve come to know so well, taking in the site. Sunbeams come through the window, lighting up the room. In about a month I’m going to spend so much time in this spot with our baby girls. It’s so beautiful in here, wallpaper to make the room feel like the sea. 2 cribs against the wall across from where I’m seated with my beautiful guitar besides me. Baby toys along with bottles and other such things sit atop the side-by-side dressers/changing tables adjacent to me. We have the cribs already set up with sheets on the mattresses and mobiles with seashells and figures of sea turtles, octopuses, starfish, etc. There’s clothes and diapers already in the drawers of the dressers. I’m surprised we already have this setup I expected to take longer but I really do owe it to the girls for decorating the room.
“You’re glowing.”
Jaimes voice causes me to jump, “It’s just the sun, I’m so pale now. How long have you been standing there?”
“Since before you began that song. Why didn’t you wake me up?” He inquires as I attempt to stand up.
“You looked peaceful.”
Jaime sees me sway from dizziness and comes to my side to help me up then guide me. “You really need food baby. What do you want?”
“Pancakes and bacon? Please don’t make me go lie down, I’m dizzy ‘cause I need food okay. I’m fine Jaime.” He hesitates before walking with me to the kitchen. I sit at our table while my fiance makes breakfast for us and I watch the sunlight reflect off my beautiful ring. Placing my left hand on my pregnant belly I realize I have an actual family now.
Jaime places a plate of food in front of me with everything just how I like it, I have no idea how he remembers all of this and he sits beside me with a plate of his own. “What’s on your mind Hales?”
“I have a family now Jaime. My mom walked out and my dad might as well have done the same considering he was never home and I never had any other relatives. I had no actual family. I refuse to be like my parents Jaime. I’m never going to let that happen to our daughters. I refuse to become my own mother.”
Jaime leans over and kisses me then looks at me in the eyes. “You’re going to be best mom in the world Haley. I know you won’t be like your parents. I know that you’ll never leave no matter how tough it gets and neither will I. Our babies will never feel the way you did or go through what you had to, I promise.” I nod and kiss him then begin eating my food which is growing cold.
Once we’re finished Jaime begins to clean up what we had used. “Jaime what day is it?”
“July 7th,” Jaime smirks.
“Babe.”
He shakes his head laughing slightly, “It’s Wednesday, why?”
“Studio day. When are you going?”
Jaime looks at the time on the digital display of the stove showing it’s 11AM, “Fuck, I’m supposed to be there in like 30 minutes.”
“Well then fuck the dishes, it can be done later. Go get a shower.”
He stops me from moving from my seat saying, “I can be a little late. Join me babe.”
“Nope. Recording babe. It’s important to be on time. Hurry up,” Jaime gives me puppy dog eyes and I give him a small push in the direction of our bedroom. After he complies I move to the recliner in the living room, turning on the TV and flipping through channels. Quickly he’s back in the living room pulling on his shirt and gathering his things to leave.
“Okay baby I guess I have to go. Stay here okay? I won’t be gone long. I promise. Do you want anything before I go?”
“No thank you. I’ll be fine Jaime.”
Jaime sits on the arm of the chair I’m sitting on and places his hand on my stomach, rubbing his thumb back and forth. “Are you sure Haley? I don’t want to-”
I cut him off by saying, “Babe. I’m fine,” I put my hand atop his. “We’re fine. I promise Jaime. I feel better since I ate. Go. I promise we’re fine.”
Finally I’ve convinced him so he leans down and kisses me. “I love you Haley,” he says before walking towards the door.
“I love you too Jaime,” I call after him and I hear the door close and lock.
I spend the next 3 hours channel flipping and my stomach growls from watching the food channel. I think about Jaime telling me to stay here and then my phone rings and his face comes up on the screen. I press answer and pull it up to my ear, “Hey babe,” I say into the receiver.
“Hi beautiful. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be home soon baby.” Jaime says and I hear a smile in his voice.
“Good, I’m lonely,” I giggle and hear his laugh.
“I’m gonna finish up a couple things then I’ll be home. I love you my gorgeous fiance,” I can just picture the huge smile he has on his face right now.
“I love you too baby. Hurry up and come home to me. Bye Jaime.”
“Bye Hales.” He ends the call and I set my phone down. After another 30 minutes of watching TV I need to go to the bathroom.
I somehow manage to get out of the chair. In the hall, halfway to the bathroom I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. I sway to the side and try to find something to hold onto. I place my free arm around my stomach as the pain won’t stop and I realize I’m bleeding. I watch the blood run down my legs, trying to get to my phone. I collapse to the ground, falling onto my side and hitting my head hard against the wood floor.
Everything can change in a moment. Minutes tick by and what comes next is unknown. The unknown will forever terrify me. Today I didn’t know what I was going to do or eat. Today I didn’t know when Jaime would be getting home. Now what I don’t know is if Jaime will be home soon enough to find me. I don’t know if this is the end or not. What I do know is that Jaime loves me no matter what happens, then everything fades black.
~~~
I’m sitting in the nursery on the rocking chair, well, couch, in just a bra and lounge shorts while humming a song of Pierce the Veil’s I’ve come to know so well, taking in the site. Sunbeams come through the window, lighting up the room. In about a month I’m going to spend so much time in this spot with our baby girls. It’s so beautiful in here, wallpaper to make the room feel like the sea. 2 cribs against the wall across from where I’m seated with my beautiful guitar besides me. Baby toys along with bottles and other such things sit atop the side-by-side dressers/changing tables adjacent to me. We have the cribs already set up with sheets on the mattresses and mobiles with seashells and figures of sea turtles, octopuses, starfish, etc. There’s clothes and diapers already in the drawers of the dressers. I’m surprised we already have this setup I expected to take longer but I really do owe it to the girls for decorating the room.
“You’re glowing.”
Jaimes voice causes me to jump, “It’s just the sun, I’m so pale now. How long have you been standing there?”
“Since before you began that song. Why didn’t you wake me up?” He inquires as I attempt to stand up.
“You looked peaceful.”
Jaime sees me sway from dizziness and comes to my side to help me up then guide me. “You really need food baby. What do you want?”
“Pancakes and bacon? Please don’t make me go lie down, I’m dizzy ‘cause I need food okay. I’m fine Jaime.” He hesitates before walking with me to the kitchen. I sit at our table while my fiance makes breakfast for us and I watch the sunlight reflect off my beautiful ring. Placing my left hand on my pregnant belly I realize I have an actual family now.
Jaime places a plate of food in front of me with everything just how I like it, I have no idea how he remembers all of this and he sits beside me with a plate of his own. “What’s on your mind Hales?”
“I have a family now Jaime. My mom walked out and my dad might as well have done the same considering he was never home and I never had any other relatives. I had no actual family. I refuse to be like my parents Jaime. I’m never going to let that happen to our daughters. I refuse to become my own mother.”
Jaime leans over and kisses me then looks at me in the eyes. “You’re going to be best mom in the world Haley. I know you won’t be like your parents. I know that you’ll never leave no matter how tough it gets and neither will I. Our babies will never feel the way you did or go through what you had to, I promise.” I nod and kiss him then begin eating my food which is growing cold.
Once we’re finished Jaime begins to clean up what we had used. “Jaime what day is it?”
“July 7th,” Jaime smirks.
“Babe.”
He shakes his head laughing slightly, “It’s Wednesday, why?”
“Studio day. When are you going?”
Jaime looks at the time on the digital display of the stove showing it’s 11AM, “Fuck, I’m supposed to be there in like 30 minutes.”
“Well then fuck the dishes, it can be done later. Go get a shower.”
He stops me from moving from my seat saying, “I can be a little late. Join me babe.”
“Nope. Recording babe. It’s important to be on time. Hurry up,” Jaime gives me puppy dog eyes and I give him a small push in the direction of our bedroom. After he complies I move to the recliner in the living room, turning on the TV and flipping through channels. Quickly he’s back in the living room pulling on his shirt and gathering his things to leave.
“Okay baby I guess I have to go. Stay here okay? I won’t be gone long. I promise. Do you want anything before I go?”
“No thank you. I’ll be fine Jaime.”
Jaime sits on the arm of the chair I’m sitting on and places his hand on my stomach, rubbing his thumb back and forth. “Are you sure Haley? I don’t want to-”
I cut him off by saying, “Babe. I’m fine,” I put my hand atop his. “We’re fine. I promise Jaime. I feel better since I ate. Go. I promise we’re fine.”
Finally I’ve convinced him so he leans down and kisses me. “I love you Haley,” he says before walking towards the door.
“I love you too Jaime,” I call after him and I hear the door close and lock.
I spend the next 3 hours channel flipping and my stomach growls from watching the food channel. I think about Jaime telling me to stay here and then my phone rings and his face comes up on the screen. I press answer and pull it up to my ear, “Hey babe,” I say into the receiver.
“Hi beautiful. I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be home soon baby.” Jaime says and I hear a smile in his voice.
“Good, I’m lonely,” I giggle and hear his laugh.
“I’m gonna finish up a couple things then I’ll be home. I love you my gorgeous fiance,” I can just picture the huge smile he has on his face right now.
“I love you too baby. Hurry up and come home to me. Bye Jaime.”
“Bye Hales.” He ends the call and I set my phone down. After another 30 minutes of watching TV I need to go to the bathroom.
I somehow manage to get out of the chair. In the hall, halfway to the bathroom I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. I sway to the side and try to find something to hold onto. I place my free arm around my stomach as the pain won’t stop and I realize I’m bleeding. I watch the blood run down my legs, trying to get to my phone. I collapse to the ground, falling onto my side and hitting my head hard against the wood floor.
Everything can change in a moment. Minutes tick by and what comes next is unknown. The unknown will forever terrify me. Today I didn’t know what I was going to do or eat. Today I didn’t know when Jaime would be getting home. Now what I don’t know is if Jaime will be home soon enough to find me. I don’t know if this is the end or not. What I do know is that Jaime loves me no matter what happens, then everything fades black.
8/27/13