It's been 5 weeks since the boys left for tour and they're so damn far away. It's hell not having Jaime here, it doesn't feel right falling asleep without him beside me. Everyday, besides the weekends, I’ve worked from 7am to 4pm then coming home and painting from around 5pm till 10pm or later. Kate has stayed over a lot, helping me paint and just being in each others company, not being lonely. All that’s left to paint is the second bedroom which I have yet to figure out what to paint it since Kate and I can’t decide. It’s been quite interesting here without Jaime. I miss him more than anything, there’s no denying that. With Kate around, along with Emily and Steph but they’re not around as often, there’s non-stop jokes and laughing and I can’t even begin to count the times we’ve smeared paint on each other. She is literally like a sister, she can be annoying sometimes but honestly it’s in a good way. It’s only because she’s trying distract us from missing the guys so much. Plus, she hardly ever leaves.
Right now it’s Monday morning and I’m the only one working right now. I decided to cover the whole morning by myself since I’m taking off the afternoon, besides that there’s no need for multiple people to work in the early morning with very few customers. Alone, I sit here messing around on my guitar, I bring it in when I want and no one ever dares to even touch it. The bell on the door chimes and in walks the person taking over the next shift, signalling it’s time for me to get over my nerves and go to the doctor. My anxiety shoots up and I really don’t think I can handle going by myself. Without even realizing it I call Kate and ask her if she’ll take me and not even 10 minutes later she’s here. I tell her where I need to go and she drives giving no question of why I need to go there as if she knows already.
We enter the waiting room of the ob/gyn office and sit in the chairs. Time passes way too slowly by the time my names being called. Kate squeezes my hand in reassurance that I’ll be okay so I stand and follow the nurse. She takes me to a sterile white and blue room, being told to take a seat on the examination table and that my doctor will be here in a minute.
The doctor walks in, closes the door and sits on a stool before speaking, “So we have the results from the tests that we did last week. And there’s something I would like to show you.”
~~~~
After a silent drive home Kate and I return to my house I go directly to my bathroom, leaving my purse on my bed, and out of the corner of my eye I see Kate just watching me. Making sure there’s a towel on the rack I strip down and step under the stream of warm water in the shower. I’m still way too shocked right now to cry or anything, all I’m able to do is lean my back against the wall of the shower and slide down to the floor staring at nothing. I wasn’t prepared for this. I haven’t even said a word to Kate yet. What am I supposed to do when my boyfriend is still going to be gone for another month. Honestly, how am I supposed to even tell him. I’m stepping out of the shower, after I finally brought myself to stand up and wash.
While knocking Kate calls through the door, “Hey Hales, there’s someone on the phone for you.” I walk out in a towel and put my hand out for the phone before she says, “Okay Jaime, here she is.”
My body feels weak while I bring the phone up to my ear. “Hi beautiful I fucking miss you so bad,” I can hear the smile in his voice along with voices in the background, must be on the bus I guess. No, by now they should be starting soon. God this keeps getting worse, I didn’t know how to tell him in the first place but now how am I supposed to tell him while he’s with his friends? Maybe I just shouldn’t.
Kate’s sitting out on my bed, allowing me privacy as I pull on clothes. Fully clothed I go to my room and sit on the floor with my back against the wall, holding my knees to my chest. My eye’s instantly fill up with tears and I choke on my words, “Hey, it’s so nice to hear your voice. I miss you too, so much I can’t even begin to explain.”
“What’s wrong baby?”
“You won’t be able to visit will you?”
“No we have a month left before we come home, I thought you knew that. Babe, seriously what’s wrong?”
“I miss you. I’m scared, I don’t know what to do right now.” My voice is shakey and I can’t stop the tears.
“I know you too well to know that this isn’t about the distance. So what the fuck is going on Hales?” Jaime basically shouts into the phone and the voices in the background are dying out but he definitely hasn’t moved.
“Please don’t be mad at me, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you right now, you sounded so happy. Just please don’t be mad at me.”
“Just tell me.” I hate hearing anger in his voice.
Forcing the words out of my mouth I finally tell him, “Jaime, I’m 5 weeks pregnant and I did the math and that means it happened like around my birthday but that’s not the part that scares me. They said I might lose it. There’s a high chance of me losing it Jaime. I’m so so sorry, please don’t be mad at me.” It all comes out rushed, everything just spilled out. Kates mouth drops then quickly gives me a worried smile as if to say everything will be okay.
I hear faint questions in the background which Jaime replies to by saying shut up before saying anything to me. “Baby, how could I even be upset about that?”
“Because I’m so fucked up that I might lose this baby before you even get to come home. I’m sorry I’m so fucked up. I don’t want to do this to you. I just want to make you happy. I’m so scared, babe, I’m just scared.” My last few words come out as a whisper, hearing Jaime saying shut up once again to everyone in the background.
“Haley it’s going to be okay. I promise. It’s going to be okay,” with the fear in his voice I’m sure he’s telling himself that more than he’s telling me. “I’ll be home before you know it. Did they tell you why?”
“Are you still with your friends?”
“Yea sorry baby there’s no where else I can go. It’s nearly time for us to go on.”
I hate having to talk on the phone, I just want to be with him. “They said it’s just how my body is. It’s not anything I’ve done. It’s just my body.”
“You’re going to be fine babe. We’re going to be fine. Honestly this makes me really happy because it's with you and I fucking love you. Don’t you dare think I’m upset about it or don’t want it.” I feel like I’m finally able to breathe again. I’m finally able to smile now and it feels amazing knowing Jaime’s okay with this. “Uh, so am I supposed to, or even allowed to, tell anyone? Everyone’s asking so many things.”
“You can tell them anything and anyone you want babe.”
“Do you want to tell them?”
“I just said you can tell them,” I love how shocked Kate still looks.
Jaime laughs and replies, “No baby, I mean do you want to tell them? It’s just the band and Casey in here, everyone else just left. We can do facetime and you can tell them if you’d rather.” I hit the button to switch to facetime and Jaimes smiling face appears. My face is red from crying and I look like a mess. “You look beautiful Haley. Mike just walked out, hold on I’m going to get his ass back in here.” Kate joins me on the floor wanting to see their reactions, while texting most likely to Mike. Jaime returns, “Okay baby we’re all here now. Hey Kate.” She waves and Jaime somehow manages to get everyone into the shot so I can see them all.
Here goes nothing, “Well guys, Jaime’s going to be a dad,” I say with a huge smile. I swear every single one of their jaws dropped, much like Kates did actually, but it only makes us laugh.
“Dude are you fucking serious? That’s awesome Haley, congratulations to you guys, I thought Kate would end up getting pregnant before you.” Vic responds making everyone laugh and earns a punch on the arm from his little brother. Unexpectedly, they all have the hugest smiles.
Jaime acknowledges a voice in the background and speaks to me again, “Fuck, I’m sorry baby. We have to go. I’ll call you as soon as I can. I love you so much Haley. Bye beautiful.”
“I love you too Jaime. Have a good show.” He flashes me a huge smile and hangs up the phone.
Letting my smile mostly I turn to look at Kate and set my phone in the cold floor besides me. “When did you find out?”
“Uhm, I took home tests 2 weeks ago but I didn’t know for sure until today.”
“You never said anything,” muttered Kate with a somewhat betrayed and disappointed look.
“I was scared Kate. They were positive and it scared the shit out of me. I was never supposed to be able to get pregnant. I didn’t expect any of this to happen and I don’t mean just now, I mean in general as in ever. When I was younger they said that I can’t get pregnant. My body isn’t normal remember? That’s why I will most likely lose it. I’m literally so fucked up.” I explain.
“Dammit Haley,” she exclaims, “You aren’t fucked up you just have problems. Did you ever even tell Jaime? What did the doctor say about all of this? Did they give you pictures of the ultrasound? They did one right?”
“Oh my god, one at a time Kate. No, I did not tell Jaime which I guess I’ll have to explain all of this to him too. Yea I have a picture of the ultrasound, it’s in my purse. The baby is like a little peanut. They just said that there’s like a 90% chance of me losing the baby and I need to have as little stress as possible, go for walks or runs, just eat healthy and shit like that and further along in the pregnancy, if I make it much further along, then I will probably be on bed rest. Oh and I have to go in for appointments more often than typical and I hate doctors so that suck. I don’t have to stop working as much yet, I will when Jaime gets home though.”
Kates voice fills with concern, “What about painting? Are you able to be around the smell and shit? You could stay at my house, I don’t think my parents would mind.”
“They’ve changed paint, it’s not harmful like that anymore. I’ll be fine, I’m overwhelmed yea but right now who isn’t? But I promise, I’m fine.” The corners of my mouth turn upwards as Kate embraces me.

Notes

So my updating is getting worse at least this week cause I had company then had to go to a shit baby shower for someone that I dislike very much. And school begins in 10 days and I had to deal with getting enrolled and all this shit. On top of that I'm fucking sick so yea. I'll hopefully start posting more regularly soon. By the way this story will be coming to an end soon I'm just not sure how many chapters are left.

In case any of you we're wondering I got links for how the house is painted cause I was sick and not up to writing. So it's not what the house completely looks like it's basically just the color or whatever. I don't really even know why I chose these I just like em. Plus the guest bathroom is pretty fucking cool and I want to do that to mine.
Living room/hall, kitchen/dinning room, Jaime and Haleys bedroom, Jaime and Haleys bathroom, guest bathroom