Bad News

I woke not long after when the bus braked hard. “Sorry!” I heard the driver shout before the bus started moving forward again. My earbuds were wrapping around my face and neck so I untangled them, my Ipod dead now. I toss is aside and breath out. My legs are hot so I kick off the sweats, losing one of my socks in the process. I listen in to the conversation held by the boys “I really want spaghetti” Tony says “Nice try but we don’t have any groceries, we still need to buy food” Mike says “We should stop soon” Vic says “We’re about five minutes away from the next town, we can stop there” The driver announces “I’ll wake up Kylie to let her know” Jaime says. I hear footsteps coming towards the bunk area then my curtain is slowly eased open. I meet Jaimes brown eyes and he smiles “Hey Kylie, we’re going to the grocery store, I figured you might wanna come to pick out some things for yourself” He says, his eyes looking hopeful. I just roll over and face the wall of the bus. He sighs and I hear him shift “I think it would be good for you if you went around new faces, nobody in there will know what happened, nobody will know. It’s a fresh start” His words echo around my mind, could this really be a fresh start? Could I completely shed Kylie Preciado? The girl I was in San Diego. I roll over and nod “So you want to get ready? We’ll be there soon” He says standing straight and leaving me. I shut my curtain and dig around in my suitcase, pulling out a good outfit. I struggle to change in the confinement of the bunk before I remember the bathroom that has more space. I look very girly today, I finger comb my hair and leave it straight before I spray a spritz of Chance’s perfume on me and leave the bunk. I walk slowly towards the front lounge “Hey! How you feeling Kyles?” Vic asks wrapping an arm around me, it feels awkward since i’m almost taller than him “Ok” I say quietly and he smiles “well ok is OKAY WITH ME” His voice raises and I flinch away “Sorry” He mumbles “We’re here” The driver announces “I’ll be here, like usual” he grumbles as we pile off the bus, the huge vehicle catching the attention of a few people. He pulls away and parks out of the way of people and we head in. Everybody splits up and I trail behind Jaime “You’re a vegetarian right?” He asks and I nod, he runs a hand through his spiked up hair “Okay, look around and pick up a few items, i’ll buy them for you” He says leaving me. I wander around ending up with cucumber, lettuce, some fruit, tomatoes, mango, pineapple, and orange juice, carrots, and some cashews. I find all four boys perusing the junk isle, half the cart is filled with actual food, the other half is piled with chips, frozen dinners, frozen pizza, ice cream, and candy. I shake my head at them and shift the basket i’m carrying from one arm to another “Oh we need drinks too!” Tony says seeing the juice in my basket “Mike go get gatorade and water” He instructs, mike salutes him and jogs off, Jaime goes after him, both of them returning trying to see who can carry the most, Mike has a pack of water bottles on each shoulder with Gatorade packs piled on top, Jaime doing the same, both of them look like they’re about to collapse “Can we check out now?” Mike grunts, Vic laughs and I follow them to the counter, putting my stuff on the counter along with their junk food. The lady rings the enormous order up and watches as Tony puts an arm around my shoulder and rests his head against mine. Then she looks me up and down, probably checking me out. “Nice outfit” She says with a tight smile before accepting the debit card from Vic. “She’s jealous” Mike whispers in my ear. I tilt my head so I can look at him “You get to be near such fine looking men, well, I can’t speak for those tools, but I’m certainly something to be jealous of” He says flexing. This causes me to giggle, you would have thought I screamed Jaimes head snapped in my direction so quick. “Hey you got a laugh” Vic says grabbing some bags “It wasn’t a laugh it was a small giggle” Tony says removing his arm so he can help. Everybody including me grabs at least two bags and we struggle out the doors and towards the tour bus. It takes five minutes of Mike yelling obscenities for the bus driver to finally open the door “Prick” Mike grumbles as he passes the driver who’s chuckling “Sorry, I was watching a video” He says stuffing his phone in his pants pocket “Probably jacking off!” Mike yells, the guys laugh and I just frown, I was never one for sex jokes. I take a deep breath, if i’m going to become a whole new girl i’m going to have to change everything I used to be. Jaime takes the bag from me and I start heading towards my bunk “Hey remember Kylie you have to log at least five hours of school work a day starting tomorrow, then you have to talk to that doctor after” He calls after me, I stop dead in my tracks, doctor? “Doctor?” I repeat my thought turning “Yeah mom and dad didn’t tell you?” He asks, I shake my head and storm the rest of the way to my bunk and collapse in it. I hear him follow me “Hey, that’s fine if they didn’t tell you, I’m a little shocked though” he says placing a hand on the center of my back in between my shoulder blades “I’m not, they’re fucking cowards” I say into my pillow “Hey, they’re not cowards and they love you. You just have to talk to a doctor over skype for an hour after classes every day” He says in a soothing voice. I blow out a breath of air “Okay” I sigh “Preferably in the morning though, we have a show almost every night and you’re not supposed to be alone” he says, I flip over and look at him “Great I get to hang out with the coat guys” I say bitterly “I never said who you had to hang out with, you just couldn’t be alone” he says giving me a wink before leaving. I sigh and shut the curtain after him. I strip out of my outfit and crawl under the covers in my bra and panties, curling my fist around the comforter, quickly falling asleep.

I wake the next morning with the blankets wrapped around my legs in a cold sweat. I kick myself free and put on a long t shirt that goes to my mid thigh before I exit the bunk. I walk silently to the front of the bus, it’s day time and we’re driving through a city. I walk to the front of the bus where the driver is surrounded by crumpled red bull cans “Hey” He says yawning “Hey, how long till we get there?” I ask and he yawns again “Just five more minutes then I get the bliss of sleep” He says rubbing the scruff on his face “Why don’t I take over for a little bit so you can sleep?” I ask him, leaning against the wall of the bus “Nah i’m fine, the first night is always the worst, but now I can sleep all day and be ready to drive tonight” He says yawning again. I leave him and walk to the fridge and pour myself a glass of orange juice before grabbing my laptop and Ipod and heading to the back lounge, quietly sneaking past the snoring guys. I plop down on the couch and boot up my computer. While I wait for it to load I plug my headphones in and browse my music selection. I end up on IFHY by Tyler the creator and click on my browser on my laptop. It loads pretty quickly and I click on the search bar, but instead of typing in the website to my online classes I type in facebook and log in. I wait for it to load, and when it does i’m faced with a number of messages and notifications. A few of the first ones are from Anna, from when we were still friends. Tagging me in a photo of us the last day at school before the party. My fingers shake as I scroll to find more, this time hateful notifications. I scroll down my wall and see public messages people have left me, some calling me nasty names, others telling me they need to know i’m okay which is nice, other people have left statuses saying they talked to me and they know where I am, a few people have named some rehab facilities across the country, saying I was on drugs and shot everybody, the police came out with the roulette story because my dad was a police officer before he wasn’t. Before he died, and it was a gesture of kindness. Other people are saying i’m locked up in the asylum, other people are saying my parents locked me in the basement and are starving me. I take a breath and click on my messages, I ignore them all except for Annas. I click on our conversation, she hasn’t reached out to me at all. I can’t help it, i’m a glutton for punishment. I type a long paragraph to her, an apology, an explanation. My finger hovers over the button to send it, I close my eyes and swallow, then delete the message. I angrily deactivate my account and type in the website for the online school. It seems kind of silly that I’m only going to be doing it for a week, but if I power through this week I could probably convince my parents to let me do my senior year on here. I’m working through a world religion and beliefs essay when an earbud is pulled from my ear “Hey kiddo” Mike says settling in beside me. I give him a weak smile “Hey Mike” I reply before turning back to my essay “What’cha writing?” He asks leaning over my shoulder to read “An essay for my world religions class” I say and he humphs “We never had that class was I was in high school. What’s your topic?” “My thesis is how Universal Religions is beneficial to the world” I answer rolling my eyes. “Aren’t you a smart cookie” He says, checking the time in the bottom of my screen “How much time till your hours are up?” He asks “I’m over the expectation by fifteen minutes now, I just need to close up my essay with a finishing statement and i’ll be done, then I have to skype with that Doctor” I say glumly “Oh okay, well when you’re done I made bacon” He says getting off the couch “I’m vegetarian” I reply typing away “When did that happen?” he pauses in the doorway “six years ago” I answer glancing up “Oh” He says plundering off.

Notes

Okay so this is unedited and a little bit of a filler and i'm sorry I just kind of wanted it to have Kylie wanting to shed the girl she was, and I hope you can kind of get the idea that she's more comfortable around Mike than anyone else, she's talking to him more. Anyway, wish me luck because I really do have a World Religions and Beliefs course next semester and i'm nervous! As always my inbox is open if you need / want to talk and below you can find a visual of the outfit Kylie wore to the grocery store (I really enjoy putting these outfits together)

Outfit for grocery store