Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

This Town

Chapter nine

There were voices all around me. At first they were barely whispers and then gradually they just sounded muffled. My eyes moved from behind my eyelids but they were too heavy to open. The voices continued to get louder and more clear then eventually I could make out everything that was being said.

“We had to pump her stomach. With the large alcohol intake in addition to her medications it’s a wonder she isn’t being taken to morgue right now.” The voice was one I didn’t recognize.

“Medication? Why is she taking medication?” That was voice I did recognize. It was Austin.

“You don’t know?” The stranger asked. I assumed Austin shook his head because I didn’t hear his response. “Ms. Riesling is severely mentally ill. She suffers from insomnia, schizophrenia, panic attacks, bipolar depression, and many other things. She has a very extensive mental history. I thought being her fiancé you would’ve known.”

“No… I had no idea.” Austin’s voice was a whisper but that wasn’t what I was stuck on. I was stuck on the fact that he was here with me, wherever that was, and had just been told that I was mental case. The stranger exited the room and I heard Austin sigh. With another attempt I managed to slowly open my eyes.

I was met with bright, blinding light and pain in my stomach and throat. I groaned in discomfort and immediately Austin was at my side. He looked me over with worry and slight anger. “Where am I?” I asked groggily and tried to sit up. With Austin’s help I managed.

“You’re in the hospital. Hayden called Alan after you passed out at the bar but he was busy so I answered. They had already checked you into the hospital by the time I got off the phone with them,” Austin explained as he sat back down in the chair beside me.

“How long have I been here?” I questioned next. I had no grasp on what day or time it was and it was making me panic.

“Only a day. It’s 5:30 in the evening right now. Saint what the fuck were you thinking?!” I knew I was going to get a lecture but I didn’t think it would be so soon. “You don’t mix alcohol with medication and why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were on medication for such extreme things?!”

“Because it’s none of your business!” I yelled. I didn’t mean to yell at him but I wasn’t exactly in the right mindset to be lectured.

You know he’ll think you’re a mental case that’s why.
You know he won’t want anything to do with you.
How could he ever love someone like you?
Pathetic.
Worthless.

One after one voices tormented me and laughed at me. I closed my eyes and tried to stay calm but it wouldn’t make them go away. They got louder and louder until suddenly they softened. They were still present but they were like background noise. I looked down to find Austin holding my hand and looking at me with intense concern.

“I wouldn’t have thought of you any differently,” he murmured. It was like he could hear the voices too. “No one is perfect. Not even me, I would’ve stayed. I still would’ve been your friend.” There was that word; friend. It was the very reason I drank in the first place. Austin didn’t love me and I knew that but it still stung.

“When can I leave?” I asked, changing the subject.

“I’ll go find out,” Austin replied sadly and left the room. As soon as he was gone I was tormented once more by the voices, but for some sick reason I missed hearing what they had to say. They were the only thing that helped me remember the truth about the world and myself.

“Ms. Riesling you’re awake.” It turned out the stranger from before was a doctor. “I understand you want to get out of here?” I nodded and picked at my nails nervously. “Well with your mental history and the six-year inpatient stay you had at a mental hospital we’re going to have to evaluate you before we can release you.”

“I understand.” I had been through this routine before after my failed suicide attempts. But I could feel Austin staring at me and it made me tense and fear that I would fail and end up readmitted. But he grabbed my hand gave it a gentle squeeze. “I have a therapist that could recommend someone to do it because, no offense, but I don’t trust anyone else to find someone.”

“I understand completely. I’ll go give her call and get a skype call set up as soon as possible so we can get you out of here.”






I passed the psyche evaluation and was sitting in the passenger seat of Austin’s car half an hour later. He had acted as my fiancé so he could stay in my room past visitor hours and while I appreciated it I would’ve rather had Alan there. He already knew about my mental health.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Austin asked awkwardly as we drove passed a McDonald’s.

“No, I want to go home so I can take my meds and lay down,” I replied stiffly. I saw Austin nod in my peripheral vision.

“Does anyone else know?”

“Alan but that’s it.”

“How long has he known?”

“He found out the day he came by to introduce himself. He found my medications by accident.”

“Can I ask how you developed all of those illnesses?”

“No.”

All conversation ceased at that point. I stared out my window the entire time and tried to ignore the awkward tension that was radiating off of us. Austin was better at hiding how uncomfortable he was. The entire ride back to the bus he hummed along to the radio and taped his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Hey Alan can I talk to you for a second?” Austin asked. He was trying to be quit about it, but I had heard him as I walked past Alan and Phil to get to my bunk. Before getting inside I grabbed my suitcase and took my medications. After that I changed into a large t-shirt and my underwear and climbed inside my small space.

Usually I didn’t like small spaces but the bunk felt like the safest place for me to be considering the wild ride I had just gotten off of due to my own stupid decisions. I could hear Alan and Austin’s muffled voices talking from behind the door of the back lounge but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. A second later my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and arched an eyebrow; it was Alan.

“Hello,” I sighed but he didn’t answer me. Instead I was met with him answering something Austin had said. I had come in the middle of the conversation though and couldn’t decipher the initial conversation. “Hello,” I said again but still no direct response. He must’ve butt dialed me or at least that’s what I assumed.

“Alan I love her.” I was about to hang up the phone when Austin spurred out his words with frustration. Not knowing what else to do I hung up and turned over so my back was facing the curtain. Exhaustion crashed down on me and I felt the need to sleep for two years. I wanted to believe that Austin was talking about me, but there was so much doubt in the back of my mind.

You’re a pathetic psycho. He doesn’t love you.

Oh how right those voices were, I just didn’t know to what extent.

Notes

Hey everyone, it's been a while but I got a new laptop so I'm back! I hope everyone has/had a good, or at least decent, Christmas. Here's chapter nine, it's more of a filler for all the shit that's going to hit the fan in chapter ten. Thank you for reading everyone.

Merry Christmas,
perpetual <3

Comments

@Mrs.Brightside

I wanted to be as accurate as I could when it came to the tour everyone is on so I figured I'd add them in. There will be some mentions of Volumes too but I don't listen to them so they won't be as involved since I'm not familiar with their music.

I love the fact you added CTE. I love them so much. And I've only been to one concert without my mom too and that was Pierce The Veil, haha.

Miss Lady Miss Lady
12/14/16

@perpetual
It's really no problem :D

Miss Lady Miss Lady
11/23/16