Saint’s POV

“He got arrested?!” I asked incredulously. “When?”


“Three days ago,” Alan sighed. His expression contained both irritation and worry. “He hasn’t being doing well Saint and I think you should talk to him.”


“I don’t know Alan,” I replied sadly. I rolled over onto my stomach and placed my laptop in front of me so Alan wasn’t talking to the wall. “I had a mental breakdown right in front of him and that doesn’t exactly leave a good impression.”


“Just… think about it okay?” Alan urged. Although my gut was screaming at me not to I agreed.


“I have to go but I’ll call you later or we can Skype again.”


“Alright, I’ll talk to you later.” I ended the Skype call and closed my laptop with a heavy sigh. As much as I didn’t want to be, I was worried about Austin. So much so that I was on the verge of calling him. Not wanting to let my thoughts focus on him a second longer I pushed myself up off my bed and wandered down the hall to Dave’s room.


He wasn’t home but he had insisted that I could make myself at home and help myself to whatever I wanted while he was gone; I planned to do just that. Simultaneously I sat down on the edge of Dave’s bed and opened the drawer of the bedside table. I pulled out everything I needed and went to work; having done this multiple times with Dave in the last few days I knew exactly what I was doing.


“Fuck it,” I muttered just before inhaling the line and added another one beside it. I had only been doing one line each time but I felt I was accustomed enough to start doing two like Dave. I did my best to refrain from gagging as the first line went up my left nostril and wasted no time inhaling the other through my right. Once both lines were gone I covered my mouth with the back of my hand and gagged a few times. The burn was something you could get used to but the foul taste was not.


I placed everything back in the bedside table then laid down on Dave’s bed. While mine was comfy his was much better. Not to mention he had a million pillows to nestle into. I closed my eyes as the coke drained into my system and smiled absentmindedly to myself.


“I see you took the ‘make yourself at home’ comment to heart,” Dave said suddenly. I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at him. He was standing in the doorway smirking at me.


“Yeeeah,” I sighed, “I just got off the phone with Alan not too long ago. Austin got arrested three days ago. He wasn’t able to tell me why but I have a feeling I’m indirectly at fault.”


Dave whistled and shook his head. “Does he have to go to trial?”


“I don’t think so and even if he does I’m sure he’ll be fine.”


“Want something to take your mind off of it?”


“I just got done doing that but so far it isn’t helping.”


Dave pursed his lips and walked into the room. He went over to the other side of his bed and laid down beside me. “I don’t usually condone mixing drugs, but in this case I’ll make an exception. The only problem is I’m not sure how well your body is going to take to it,” he informed me.


“At this point I really couldn’t care less,” I mumbled.


“Alright, come with me.”


Dave and I got up from his bed and I followed him into his bathroom. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and watched him rummaged through the cabinet under the sink. When he pulled out a spoon and a lighter I knew exactly what he was doing.


“Heroin?” I questioned.


“Yep. But if you don’t want to do it I won’t make you,” Dave replied.


“Fuck it.” That seemed to be my motto lately and it was probably going to get me in trouble eventually.


Dave smiled and continued preparing what I considered my escape route. I watched intently as he grabbed a syringe. Next he scooped some of the powder onto the spoon and heated it up. Once it was a liquid he filled the syringe. “Will you grab one of my belts please?”


“Of course.” I skipped into his room and returned a few seconds later with the first belt I could find.


“Pick an arm any arm,” he announced enthusiastically.


“This one will do,” I chuckled and held out my right arm to him. He wrapped the belt around my arm and tightened it until my vein started to protrude from my arm. He gave me a questioning look and I nodded. Unable to watch, I closed my eyes and winced slightly when the needle pierced my skin. The moment the drug entered my bloodstream I felt like I was flying.


My eyes drooped and a goofy grin spread across my lips. I was on cloud nine. I could tell Dave was talking to me but I couldn’t make out what he was saying so I just smiled and nodded. He chuckled and my grin widened. I wasn’t aware that I was falling until I was in Dave’s arms and he was carrying me to his bed. Suddenly he disappeared and I looked around lazily for him. When he returned with a glossy look in his eyes I knew he had reached cloud nine as well.


Time was nonexistent. I laid as still as a statue and stared at the ceiling. My body was heavy and my mind was blank; exactly how I needed it to be. Slowly my eyelids became heavy and I was unable to keep them open. Even my dreams were blank. I never wanted to come down.


I woke up the next morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck. My head was pounding, my ears were ringing, and my body was stiff. “Fuuck,” I hissed under my breath and sat up. I looked around the room and immediately realized that it wasn’t mine. As I gained coherence I remembered that I had passed out in Dave’s bed. That was when the realization that he wasn’t in the room kicked in.


“There she is,” Dave sang when I found him in the living room watching a TV show I didn’t recognize. “How are you feeling?” He asked and patted the spot next to him on the couch.


“Like shit,” I admitted and threw myself down beside him. I noticed the mirror on the coffee table with two lines on it and gestured to it. “Are those mine?”


“Only if you want them,” Dave replied. “Alan called by the way. He told me to tell you to stop ignoring him and call him,” he informed me as I inhaled the lines quickly.


“I’ll call him later,” I said with a shrug.


“Saint I need to talk to you about something,” Dave said hesitantly. I didn’t like where this was going, or well at least where I thought it was going. “Their tour ends in a few weeks and they plan to pick you up and take you home,” he began to explain, “but if you decide within that time that you don’t want to go you can stay here.”


“Wait are you asking me to move in with you?” I asked bewildered. This was not at all where I thought the conversation was going to go.


“I enjoy the company so I wouldn’t mind and it would be as roommates nothing more. I know you already have a house in California though so I won’t be offended if you decide to go home plus we can keep in touch.”


“Let me think about it.”



Alan’s POV

I was in the middle of making a burrito in the microwave when my laptop starting dinging at me. With an excited yell I abandoned my burrito and hurried to answer the Skype call. “It’s about fucking time!” I yelled when the call connected and I was greeted by Saint’s face.


“Yeah sorry I’ve been… busy,” she replied.


“Busy doing what?” I asked like the nosy person I was.


“Just trying to keep myself occupied is all,” she responded but her tone was uncertain. I knew she was lying but I wasn’t going to press the issue. I figured if she wanted to talk about it she would. “How’s the tour going?” She asked suddenly.


“Awesome. I’m ready to come home to be honest, but we’re still having fun,” I told her with a large smile.


“That’s good. Where are you guys at?”


“We just got to London.”


“Who are you talking to?” Austin asked. I looked up to find him coming from the back area of the bus. He sat down beside me in the booth and I watched the color drain his face when he saw Saint on the screen.


“Hi Austin,” she said with a smile, surprising both of us.


“Uh hey Saint how are you doing?” Austin asked awkwardly. I turned my laptop more toward him so he was fully in the camera and sat back anxiously to watch their encounter. It was like a soap opera.


“I’m doing good. Mostly hanging out around the house while Dave runs errands but it’s been nice having some time to myself. He keeps trying to get me to go out with no luck,” she told him. The entire time she spoke I watched Austin in the corner of my eye. I could tell he was happy she was talking to him but I could also see the regret behind his eyes.


“I’m glad to hear you’re doing better,” Austin said earnestly. Saint just smiled.


“Do you want one or two lines?” We heard Dave ask in the background. Saint’s eyes widened and she looked behind her sharply.


“I have to go, I’ll talk to you guys la-” The call ended before she could even finish and I just stared at the screen.


“Please tell me he wasn’t referring to what I think he was referring to,” I said monotonously.


“I think that’s exactly what he was referring to,” Austin said in the same tone.


“Oh Saint. What are you doing?” I muttered sadly.



Saint’s POV

Was I getting dependent? If you asked anyone else they’d tell you yes. But I wasn’t dependent. I wasn’t doing the drugs because I needed to. I was doing the drugs because I wanted to. I wanted to be able to function. I wanted to be able to smile without having to force it. I wanted to feel alive. The drugs did all of things for me. I could stop anytime I wanted to, but I didn’t want to. Not yet.


Dave seemed to understand my reasoning because he had the same reason. He understood that sometimes people needed a little help with being able to feel alive. The best part was he always seemed to have something for whatever we were feeling was lacking. Need a little pick me up? Do a couple lines. Need everything to just stop for a little while? Shoot up. Need to just feel alive overall? Pop some ecstasy. Anything we needed he could get.


But Dave had brought something new home and I was desperate to try it. From what he told me I knew I was in for the time of my life.


“Ready?” Dave asked with smile.


“Always,” I replied and poked one of his dimples. There were two lines in front of both of us and a straw. It looked like our usual coke lines but based on his elusive comments I knew it wasn’t.


“Let’s fall down the rabbit hole.”


In unison we leaned forward and inhaled our lines. The burn was intense and made my ears, jaw, and nose hurt like hell. I plugged my nose and clamped my eyes shut. The moment the powder drained and touched my tongue I nearly puked. The coke was nothing compared to this. Once I could somewhat bare it I took the second line. Both Dave and I were gagging and trying not to puke by the time we were done.


“What the fuck was that and why is it not doing anything?” I asked. I didn’t feel any different and couldn’t deny that I was a bit disappointed.


“It was crystal and just give it a sec,” Dave chuckled. Sure enough my heart started to pound and I swore I could feel my pupils dilate. For a moment it felt as if my heart had stopped until I gasped suddenly. The rush was intense and I felt like I could run a marathon.


“Wanna make cookies?” I asked. My words were rushed and I sounded almost out of breath. Dave and I ran into the kitchen and went to work making cookies. One batch turned into three, three turned into five until eventually we ran out of ingredients. “Now what?” I asked excitedly.


“We can play hide and seek,” he suggested.


“You’re it!” I yelled and took off running through the house.


For hours Dave and I ran through the house like maniacs. We cleaned then cleaned again only to make a mess a few minutes later which resulted in more cleaning. Every time we felt like we were coming down we would take another line. I was on top of the world.



A week later

“Saint I think it’s time to slow down,” Dave said from behind me. I was sitting on the living room floor prepping a needle.


“Why?” I asked distractedly.


“Because I’m beginning to worry about you,” he replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.


“I appreciate that, buuuuut I also didn’t ask you to worry,” I replied casually. Once the needle was prepped I tightened one of my tank tops around my arm and tapped the inside of my elbow a few times.


“Saint you already have track marks,” Dave continued.


“Dave I’m fine now let me do this so I don’t end up stabbing myself,” I snapped. Dave sighed heavily but let me proceed. “Fall down the rabbit hole with me Dave. You know you want to,” I slurred and rolled my head back so I could look at him when I was done. He looked unsure for a moment then smiled and did as I said.


“You really should slow down Saint,” Dave told me again.


“I will when you do.”


“I don’t think that’ll ever happen.”


“Exactly.”

Notes

Our little Saint isn't a saint after all it seems.

Here's chapter fourteen and I hope guys enjoyed it. I'm super stoked to see that you guys enjoyed the chapter that Miss Lady created; it was amazing! We're currently in the process of brainstorming for chapter fifteen so keep a look out for it. 

Love you guys!

perpetual xx