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I Can Change Your Life

Never Forgive

“You look surprisingly well,” Lindsay said with a sympathetic smile.

“What is the supposed to mean?” I asked. “Come on, let’s go talk in the back.”

I made my way through the bus and toward the back lounge. Vic and Jaime gave me interesting looks – their faces mixed with confusion, anger, and worry. Tony was lying in his bunk, staring straight up. As I grew closer, he pulled his curtain back so I couldn’t see him. I let out a sigh as Lindsay slowly followed me into the back of the bus.

I couldn’t believe that she was actually here. What was she doing here? How did she even get here? And most importantly of all, what the fuck did she want? It had been two years since we broke up. Two years since I had last seen her. I dreamt about the day she would return. I dreamt of the day that she would come back to me, insisting that she still loved me and that she was so sorry for cheating on me. In my dreams I took her back right away. But now that she was actually here, I wasn’t sure if I would take her back.

“What are you doing here?” I asked once she finally made her way to the back lounge and shut the door. “This better be fucking good.”

“Calm down, Meedie, I’m just here to check up on you after, you know…your brother.”

“That was a year ago, Linds. You’re a bit late.”

She let out a small chuckle followed by a shaky sigh. I could tell that she was nervous.

“I know it’s been a year. I just could never go see you because I actually live in Florida now,” she said silently. “I moved here after we…”

I groaned and ran my hands through my wet hair. The tangles pulled on my fingers, but I rammed through them anyway. The pain from the pulling of my hair added to my anger of the situation. I just wanted to scream at her. I wanted to cry. But part of me also wanted to hold her.

“Well, I’m fine. So, tell me the real reason you’re here,” I said. I knew that she could care less about Marky’s death. She never really liked Marky, mostly because Marky didn’t like her. But he was just being a protective brother, making sure my girlfriend wasn’t going to hurt me. He always warned me about her. He knew something was off about her. I should have listened to him.

“I’m actually here to see Tony,” she said quietly.

In that moment, those were the worst possible words that I could have heard. I threw my arms up in the air without a word and pulled open the door with more force than I knew possible. The door flung against the wall behind it, leaving a loud thud echoing throughout the bus. I stormed out of the room and went straight towards Tony’s bunk.

“What’s going on?” Vic asked. He stood up quickly, noticing my anger.

I ripped open the curtain to Tony’s bunk and he snapped his head over at me. “Lindsay’s here for you,” I spat.

What?” Jaime asked in disbelief.

I couldn’t stand to look at any of them. I stormed off of the bus and back down to the sand. I had every intention of just jumping into the ocean and swimming until my arms fell off. My legs failed me, and I fell just a few feet short of the water. I collapsed into the sand and let out a scream to try and alleviate the anger that was boiling inside of me.

“Meedie,” Jaime came running up behind me. He sat down in the sand next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Talk to me.”

I didn’t care anymore. I needed to let it out. I opened my mouth and I couldn’t stop my rambling.

“It is Lindsay, partially. I just can’t believe she has the fucking nerve to show up here after we were together for three years and then just want to see Tony. Fucking Tony! Like, what does she want with Tony? He won’t get back with her, he can’t. I know he won’t.”

“It sounds like you’re worried about Tony wanting to get back with Lindsay instead of the other way around…” Jaime said to himself. “Listen, Meedie. I know that you and Tony have something. I know that you didn’t just spend the night in his room. I know you slept together.”

I looked up to Jaime. “How do you know?” I asked. I didn’t deny it. I couldn’t deny it anymore. I didn’t want to deny it anymore.

“Well, you guys weren’t exactly quiet last night, and your room was right next to ours, and since I stayed in your room…well…I heard a lot of it. But don’t worry, nobody else heard. They were all on the other side of the hall,” Jaime gave me a smile. “All this time you were denying Mike, but really you were with Tony, eh?”

I laughed a little bit as Jaime’s bouncing eyebrows and smirk relaxed me. “No, last night was the first time we had sex. Well, kind of. The first time didn’t really...oh my god, why am I telling you this? Nobody is supposed to know. This isn’t supposed to happen. I like girls.”

“Just because you have liked girls doesn’t mean you only like girls,” Jaime said. “You can’t help who you’re attracted to.”

I nodded because it was all I could do. Jaime was so right, but I still didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe it. “Why Tony? Of all people, why Tony?” I asked more to myself than Jaime.

“I always thought you two would be cute together. Even before you really knew each other. I used to always think ‘wow, Tony and Meedie would be perfect for each other’ when you guys would say certain things or do certain things. It’s like you were bound to happen.”

“Don’t give me all that ‘fate’ shit. You know I don’t believe in that.”

I groaned and placed my head between my knees. This couldn’t be happening.

-

I tugged on Mike’s hand as we stood up from the couch. “Mike, I’m drunk,” I hiccupped as he helped me over toward the bunks.

“You’ve been drinking since we got to the venue, I’m not surprised that you’re drunk,” he laughed. “But that’s okay, because I’m drunk, too.”

“I should probably go to bed before I do anything stupid,” I whispered. We were on the road again, making our way over to Georgia, just one state over. It was close to three in the morning and the rest of the guys were all passed out in their bunks and had been for a while. Mike and I decided to stay up and drink, mostly because we already had a buzz on by the time he went on stage, and decided to keep the night going.

I leaned up against the door toward the back lounge as Mike stared at me. He stood near his bunk with his body slightly turned away from me. I looked over his body and the way he was standing. He licked over his lips as he continued to stare at me with eyes that I had never seen on him before. He looked hungry, and it was hot.

I don’t know what came over me. I guess I just needed to know what I was feeling. I guess I just needed to know what I wanted, because at this point I couldn’t tell. Was I really starting to like guys? I needed to know for sure.

Mike walked over to me rather quickly and without any warning or hesitation he pressed his lips firmly to mine. He pulled away shortly after and looked into my eyes. Mike had kissed me many times before in hopes of me actually wanting him. I would usually laugh at him or push him away and tell him to fuck off, but this time I pulled his head back down and hungrily kissed his lips.

I opened the door and we quietly made our way into the back lounge. We collapsed onto the couch with Mike on top of me, kissing me hard and urgent. My lips almost couldn’t keep up – my thoughts and the alcohol I had consumed was slowing me down. Mike’s hands went straight for the zipper of my jeans, but as soon he had them unbuttoned and started to pull on them, I pulled away from the kiss.

“Wait,” I said out of breath. “I can’t.”

Mike half smiled and pulled his hands away from me. “Damn,” he laughed a bit.

I wasn’t feeling anything toward Mike. I didn’t want to have sex with him, I didn’t want to kiss him. I wasn’t attracted to him. I suddenly felt repulsed. I felt like I used to when Mike would try to kiss me. The only thing running through my mind was: I don’t like dick.

Mike stood up and kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about that,” he said against my forehead.

“Thanks. I think I drank too much,” I giggled a bit to try and make him believe me. The truth was that I just needed to see something. I needed to see if Jaime was right.

Mike left the back room and I sat on the couch for a while as I tried to think about what had just happened.

It wasn’t that I didn’t like boys. It wasn’t that I only like girls – I just liked who I liked. Lindsay was the first girl I had ever dated, and because of that I thought that I was a lesbian. I had been attracted to other girls after we broke up, but only because just that. I was attracted to them. I had never found a man to be attracted to like I was attracted to those women. Until Tony.

I left the back room and instead of climbing into my own bunk, I climbed right into Tony’s. He was laying with his back facing me so I pressed myself up against him from behind, forming my body perfectly to his shape. I nuzzled my face into the back of his neck and snaked my arms around his body so I could hold him.

He let out a soft grumble as he woke up just a bit. I was afraid that he was going to kick me out of his bunk, or worse, tell me that he had gotten back together with Lindsay. But instead he placed his left arm over mine and grabbed my hands with his. He craned his neck down and kissed my wrist before wiggling around just a bit, and curving his body a bit more so we were perfectly pressed together.

I let out a content sigh, gently blowing his hair away from his neck as I did so.

“Meedie?” Tony said in nearly silent whisper.

“Hmm?”

“Lindsay told me she still loved me. That she always loved me and the only reason she was with you for so long was because she was trying to stay around me as long as possible,” Tony breathed.

I let out a small gasp.

“I don’t believe her,” he spoke up again. “I know she loved you. More than she ever loved me. She just can’t stand being alone.”

“What did you say to her?” I asked. I was afraid to hear his answer. I was afraid that he might tell me that he loved her, too. I was afraid that he was going to tell me that after this tour, she would be moving back to San Diego, or he would be moving to Florida. I was afraid that he had slept with her today. I couldn’t lose Tony, not to her.

“I told her to fuck off,” Tony said simply. “You really think I would do that to you? I don’t want to get back with her, but even if I did, having her around you wouldn’t be very fair to you. I know you still have feelings for her.”

I let out a slow, steady breath. “I don’t think I do. I hate her more than anything. I can never forgive her for what she did to me…and to you.”

Tony remained silent for a bit. “I wouldn’t have taken her back no matter what, you know that, right?”

“Why?”

“I don’t want her.”

That was enough for me to understand exactly what he was trying to say. He wouldn’t have taken her back even if I didn’t have history with her, even if she had never cheated. He wouldn’t have taken her back because he didn’t want her.

He wanted me.

And I wanted him.

Notes

I know it's fairly short, but I didn't want to pack too much stuff into this chapter. It just ended up being short because there was more dialogue than anything.

What do you think about Meedie and Mike's make out session?
What do you think Tony and Meedie are going to do now?
Do you think that's the last of Lindsay?

Thank you for reading so much! You guys are amazing.
Make sure you check out my other stories here.
I have one for each one of the band members :)

Comment, rate, subscribe!
xoxox

Comments

About 5 hours cause my phone would start to die and then I would get into my movie to lol

@taylorlovesptv
I've missed your comments! I remember you commenting. I'm glad you're back on here. I've been MIA from my stories for a while :/ But I just updated! I hope you like it and will read the sequel when I announce it :D

eliseypoo eliseypoo
6/19/15

@Mike'sArmy
How long did it take you to read all of it? haha. Thank you for reading and commenting! :D I hope you liked it and will stick around for the sequel :)

eliseypoo eliseypoo
6/19/15

So I started reading this today. I've read all of it today lol. I love it and I'm excited to see what's next. I honestly think that meedie and Tony were ment to be. There for a minute I thought she was pregnant because of throwing up.

literally so in love with this story, I think I started reading it like a year ago and I haven't been on here in like a year and I immediately started reading this story again and I can't wait until you update like I'm so in love with the idea of Tony and meedie and I just want them to get back together :D

taylorlovesptv taylorlovesptv
6/14/15