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I Can Change Your Life

Let Me Explain

I decided to leave the next morning instead of staying another night and waiting for the tour to come back toward Baltimore, where Lisa lived. The boys were in New York the day I left, and then traveled their way over to Massachusetts, which was where my flight was currently headed. I convinced Lisa to come with me to surprise Alex, assuring her that should could stay a couple of nights on the tour before we made our way back up Towson, Maryland – which was only twenty minutes away from Lisa’s house in Baltimore. It all worked out perfectly, really.

It was a stressful flight. It only took a couple of hours, which was both good and bad. Lisa napped for most of the time and I just stared at my phone, updating twitter, responding to people on twitter, texting Drew about our next band practice (they were still following around the tour buses from venue to venue), and I even got bored enough to create a tumblr account. I gave up on it after a few minutes, though. It didn’t make any sense to me. Really, I was just trying to distract myself from my thoughts of Tony.

As much as I wanted to ignore the topic of Tony Perry that was still weighing down my mind, I just couldn’t. I wanted to know more about this Faith girl. I wanted to know what she looked like and how she dressed and what she did for a living. Call it jealousy, or call it curiosity, but I felt that I deserved to know a bit more about this woman. Especially since everybody was keeping me in the dark about this all.

I decided to initiate full jealous girlfriend mode and went to Tony’s instagram profile. I opened up the list of people he followed and began to scroll down. It looked like everything was in alphabetical order, and as I was growing closer to the F’s, my heart was growing closing to exploding from how fast it was pounding. And then I saw her name: Faith. I stared at the icon for a moment, and I could see that It was clearly a picture of her, but I couldn’t make out any of her features. I just knew that it had to be her.

I clicked on her profile and was immediately bombarded with an obscene amount of selfies and pictures of a little boy. In her description was his name.

Faith. I post a ridiculous amount of Baby Kaysen pictures. I love my little man.

I clicked on the most recent photo which was a mirror picture of herself. She was wearing a Love Before Glory shirt and I felt a horrible amount of rage and jealousy. She had dirty blonde hair that hung down just above her hip bones in natural waves. Her eyebrows were black and thick. A usually annoying combination – black eyebrows with blonde hair – that only models could pull off, but for some reason it was fitting on her thin face. Her cheeks had smooth definition and the bridge of her nose was thin with en effortless curve down to her nostrils. Her top lip was a bit thinner than her bottom lip and her skin was flawless with a glowing, natural tan. She was attractive, and I could definitely see why Tony had been attracted to her. We always did have similar taste in women.

As I thought that, I realized an ongoing trend with Tony’s more explicit girls that he had been with. There was the infamous Stephanie with her platinum blonde hair. Then he had Lindsay, whom I had stolen away, with her yellowish-blonde hair. Then he hooked up with Jessie, an adult film star from a friend of ours’ company, with her platinum blonde hair. And now Faith with her dirty blonde hair.

I picked up the ends of my hair and brought them up to meet my gaze. Brown. Dark brown. Nearly the complete opposite of blonde. I always had my hair dyed a shade of brown for my entire life. I would sometimes add colors to it, but brown was always my main color. Never in my life had I felt self-conscious about my hair color until I noticed this trend of blondes and Tony’s evident liking to the hair color. I dropped my hair in disgust and looked back down to the rest of the pictures.

There was a toddler in every other picture. He had adorably curly, blonde hair and the most adorable smile with tiny teeth peeking through. He was wearing Ninja Turtles of Star Wars shirts in almost every picture. There was no way he wasn’t Tony’s. But his face didn’t have any of Tony’s features. His skin was pale and his face was round but with his mother’s defined cheek-bones. His nose was round, not like Faith’s or Tony’s. And his eyes were a piercing blue. Needless to say, I was confused.

But things cleared up a bit when I scrolled down quite a ways and saw a picture that broke my heart. Tony was holding Kaysen up so he was sitting on his shoulders as they stood in front of the Star Tours ride at Disneyland. Each of them were wearing Star Wars shirts and large grins. Tony was holding onto Kaysen’s legs with one hand while his other held up a light-saber. Kaysen had a more miniature version of the light-saber than Tony was holding in his own hands, holding it high above his head.

Boys and their toys. #familyday #disneynerds

I quickly went back to my homepage on instagram and then exited out of the app entirely. I stared at the notifications on my messages and knew that at least half of the fifty messages were from Tony, most likely begging me to call him or talk to him and asking when I was going to see him. The other half of the messages were most likely from other musicians and friends. I frowned a bit when I remembered the days that my notifications would get up into the hundreds. When you make friends with other bands, your number gets spread around to record companies, magazine companies, and the like. But ever since Marky’s death, and the retirement of the band Meadows, my messages had nearly come to a stop entirely. Only my closest friends ever texted me or tried to contact me, and that made me feel lonely.

I heard Lisa stir as soon as the plane arrived at the airport. We stretched a bit after standing up and made our way off the plane and over to pick up or bags.

“Did you sleep at all?” Lisa asked as we slid into the backseat of a cab. I gave the driver the address to the venue before I shook my head. “You should have. I feel so refreshed and ready for anything! Plus I have a feeling that Alex is going to let me sleep tonight…if you know what I mean,” she laughed and gave me a wink while nudging me with her elbow.

“I get it,” I laughed in response.

“Can I ask you something kind of personal?” she asked. I nodded. “What was it like going from being with girls to being with Tony? Like, sex-wise, I mean.”

I blushed a little bit. “Well, the first time we tried to have sex was so painful. I’ve only ever had sex with a guy like twice in my life before I met Tony. And that was back in my sophomore year of High School. So the first time we tried to do it, he stopped because he couldn’t keep it up while I was in so much pain.”

“That’s actually really sweet,” Lisa said. “What a gentleman.”

I laughed as I thought about the morning where Tony had been rough with me in bed. “He’s far from a gentleman in bed, though,” I mumbled. “I mean, like, he’s no mean…just rough. Like, really rough.”

“Like BDSM rough? Fifty shades of Gray kind of shit?” Lisa’s eyes were wide.

“No, no,” I chuckled, “not quite that rough.” I explained to her, in a hushed tone, the morning that I had woken up tied to the headboard. Her eyes were wide the entire time, her jaw hanging open slightly.

“Damn, I would have never guessed. Tony’s always been so quiet, I wouldn’t see him as that kind of guy at all. Do you like it? Going from no sex to rough sex has got to be an interesting switch.”

“I do like it,” I admitted. “I just don’t know about talking dirty. It’s awkward for me.”

“Yeah, I don’t talk dirty either. Only on very rare occasions. Like on an anniversary or after Alex does something really nice for me or something. It’s like a reward.”

I noticed that we were nearing the venue and I immediately tensed up. My palms began to sweat and I began to nervously pull on the hem of my shirt. I wiped under my eyes to make sure my makeup was intact.

“You look fine,” Lisa said. “Don’t stress too much.”

I felt weird though. I had done my makeup different than my usual simple, winged eyeliner. I had taken the tips that Lisa had given me and applied them while I was getting ready. I put on a bit of foundation to even out my skin. I used some eye shadow to contour my eyes. And I filled in my eyebrows just a bit to give them a perfect shape. I even put on a little bit of blush and some very light-colored lipstick to add some dimension to my lips. I was wearing ripped, light-color skinny jeans with one of my oldest Pantera band shirts that I had stolen from Vic years ago. Since it was a bit chilly in Massachuesetts, I had an old Flannel on over to keep myself warm.

“I’m scared, Lisa,” I admitted softly. “I feel so different. I’ve never had a relationship like this before. I swear being with a boy is so much different than being with a girl. At least from my experience.”

Lisa let out a small chuckle. “Meedie, you really need to just relax. Don’t be scared. This may be your first fight, but it won’t be the last. But if you really care about each other, the fighting will only make you stronger.”

“Yeah, which means our fights will get stronger, too, right?” I asked with a sigh. “I know a lot about fighting in relationships. Lindsay and I went through plenty of it when she cheated on me. I just don’t want that to happen to me again.”

“Tony’s not a cheater. Trust me. And I know that deep down you know that, too. You’ve known Tony for a long time. Think about it, Meedie. Would he ever cheat or keep this big of a secret from his best friends? Or you?”

I shook my head to say no, but stopped. “I honestly don’t know,” I said with a sigh.

“You just don’t want to get your hopes up, but I think we both know the answer to my question.”

The cab stopped, and Lisa and I split the cost in order to skip out on the fighting over who paid and who owed who what money. I was glad that I had remembered to get cash out at the airport.

Lisa and I decided to split up once we reached the buses. All Time Low's bus was the first one we ran into while wandering around the back of the venue and although she insisted on me coming inside with her to see how surprised Alex was going to be, I refused. I couldn't put off my conversation with Tony any longer. She gave me a large grin as she stepped inside the bus and I immediately heard the cheers of the band members as they called her name and hollered out their surprise. I smiled as I walked away, somewhat hoping to get a similar reaction.

I punched in the code to the bus door when I noticed it was locked. I took in a deep breath that filled my lungs as far as they could expand and stepped on. I stared at the empty lounge with my shoulders raised and tense from the breath that I was holding in, but then slowly released it when I noticed that nobody was on the bus. I couldn't hear any voices from the back. Not even the snores of the bus driver as he napped in one of the free bunks while we were parked. There was nothing.

I angrily dropped my bags on the couch and pulled out my cell phone to call Tony and see when he was going to get back, but the text from Lisa distracted me.

Surprising Alex was such a great idea! He's so happy. He also told me that your boys are at an interview right now and should be back in about ten to fifteen minutes. Text me or call me if you need me xoxo

I typed out a quick reply and pressed send. As soon as I watched the iMessage bubble blurp up onto the screen, a phone call took over, flashing my background image of flowers on the screen with an unknown number at the top with an area code that I did't recognize. It said it was coming from New Zealand, and although I probably shouldn't have answered, I did regardless. My curiousity always did get the best of me.

"Hello?" I answered after accepting the call.

"Hey Meedie! It's Jaxin Hall! Tony gave me your number, I hope you don't mind."

I never really spent a lot of time with Jaxin, but him and his wife, Natalie, were always around at barbeques and other get togethers. More so when Tony and Jaxin still lived in San Diego, but since they had moved two hours away from San Diego, over to Newport Beach, I hadn't really seen too much of him. And plus, Tony always seemed to have his own little group of friends that only he - and sometimes Jaime - would hang out with, while Mike and Vic had their own group as well. Since I had grown up with Mike and Vic, I spent my time with them and our group of friends that usually consisted me me, Marky, Casey, Mike, Vic, and their roommates.

"Oh, hey, Jaxin. What's up?" I decided to not say anything about minding about him having my number because a part of me did mind. But then again, it was only Jaxin Hall. He was harmless.

"Well, I have a little something for you. A gift from Key Street and Love Before Glory."

I smiled widely. "I've been buying your shirts for years now, Jaxin. You should know that."

He chuckled a bit on the other end. "I know, I know. But I have some new stuff that's going to be coming out for the Summer Line and I want you to start wearing it around to advertise it. Plus, you're Tony's girlfriend now and it's mandatory for you to wear our clothes."

I let out a sarcastic sigh. "I knew I should have read the fine print when I signed up for this."

Jaxin laughed again. "I asked Tony to pick up the box of your goodies today on his way back from their interiew. So you should be getting your present any minute now."

I suddenly grew nervous. Any minute now and Tony would come waltzing through that door. Excitement would surely be his face at first, but then I would have to watch as his face slowly distorted into that strange expression that I couldn't read. The one that was no distant and scared me because I couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Oh," I finally said. "Thank you, Jaxin." I tried my best to sound truly thankful but I knew that it wasn't convincing. My words were distant, but you could sense the worry in the way my voice quivered.

"Woah, are you okay?" Jaxin asked. He waas silent for a moment, but then ended up letting out a long "ooooohh" as he seemed to come to some sort of realization. "That's right. The thing between you and Tony that just recently happened. He told me a bit about it. And I know I don't really know you and the extent of your relationship with Tony, but I do know Tony better than I know my own wife-" There was a loud hey from the background as Natalie interjected. Jaxin called out a sorry babe before chuckling and then returning to our conversation. "Tony really cares about you, Meedie. I can tell in the way he talks about you and posts pictures of you and all that stuff. All of his other girlfriends he tried to keep to himself - he never really shared pictures of them on instagram and stuff because he was always afraid of the fans pulling them apart, or if they were to break up and then the hate she would get or he would get, but with you he doesn't ever talk about the 'what if we broke up' scenarios. Because he's so certain that you won't break up. And hear him out, today, okay? Things are not as they seem, trust me."

I was really surprised by Jaxin's huge spiel, and as cheesy and cliche as it was, I was really glad to have that reassurance. I was so worried about falling in love with Tony with the recent information I had just found out about how he apparently had another woman, but after hearing this from Tony's best friend - practically his brother - I knew that this conversation was going to be very much needed, and I was actually starting to look forward to hearing what Tony had to say about it.

I opened my mouth to ask Jaxin some questions, but the bus door flung open, causing me to quickly jump to my feet. The very first person through the door was, in fact, Tony. He was holding a big box and was immediately scanning the room. As soon as he saw me standing in the corner, is face lit up with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. He turned away to cover it up, though. And I thought back to the conversation we had a long time ago about happiness.

"Meedie!" Mike shouted when he noticed me. I put a finger up to tell him to hold on and his face immediately fell into a dramatic pout.

"Okay, Jaxin. The boys just got here," I said as I turned my back away from everybody that had just entered the bus. "I'll talk to you later. And thank you. For the stuff and for the talk."

"Of course, Meedie. Anytime. Talk to you later."

I hung up the phone and turned around just as Tony began to walk towards me. He was holding the box in his hands, and his gaze had turned sour and sad just as I had imagined it doing earlier. He nodded toward the back of the bus without slowing his walk. I waited for a moment for Tony to disappear down the hall of bunks before I turned my attention to the three other band members who were staring at me.

"Hey guys," I said with a sigh.

"Good luck," Mike said softly with a lop-sided smile. Half of his mouth was turned up into a grin, but the other half remained neutral. I figured it was becase he was happy to see me, but also sorry about the situation that I was in.

"Ignore any possible yelling if you hear it," I said while turning to sneak a glance down the hall. I could already see Tony pacing around in the back lounge. "I have no idea how this conversation is going to go."

"You'll be fine," Vic said with a smile. "Just hear him out, Meedie. Don't let your past force you to jump to conclusions about your future with Tony."

I nodded at his words and turned down the hall. Vic's words seemed to sink into my heart, and I thought about my past with Lindsay and how she had cheated on me and how much that had hurt me. I thought about how horrible my life became after that - my endless drinking, my need for random and meaningless affection from any female I could find, and then of course, Marky's death.I let all of that influence my relationship with Tony, and I couldn't let it do that any longer. I needed to relax for once and try to come to the relization that not everything in my life had to be so horrible.

I entered the back lounge, shutting the door behind me, and then turning my attention over to Tony. He was sitting down on the couch with a smile back on his face. I couldn't help but return the smile. I had missed him so much after only being gone for one night.

"Meedie," Tony began. "Sit down and let me explain."

I listened to his words without any second thought or hesitation. Tony seemed a bit shocked to see that I hadn't put up any struggle. I usually hating being told what to do, and was pretty stubborn, but when it came to Tony Perry, I would listen to whatever he told me to do. I couldn't help but think back to the morning we shared a couple days ago where my hands were tied to the bed post of our hotel bed and Tony had been very demanding. I quickly shook the thoughts away so I could focus on the concerned Tony in front of me.

"Faith was someone who I dated for a while. That was a long time ago, and yeah, we used to have something, but not anymore. We're just really good friends now. Her son...Kaysen...he's not mine. Her ex-boyfriend is a well-known music producer and through him, I met her. We dated when they first broke up and Kaysen just kind of latched onto me since I was the only male figure in his life. I love the kid to death, but I was never Dad to him, Meedie. I'm Tio Tony." Tony smiled widely as he introduced himself as his Tio and I couldn't help but smile in return.

I should have felt stupid and embarrassed for assuming that Kaysen was his, but instead I onlt felt happiness and an over-whelming desire to feel Tony's lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, causing the two of us to fall backwards on the couch so I was laying on top of him. Tony let out a chuckle and I continued to squeeze him. "I'm so glad," I said quietly.

"I missed you so much, Meedie. Knowing that you weren't here in my arms or in your bunk last night didn't resignate with me very well. I need you here with me at all times or I feel lost," Tony murmured as he gently ran his fingers through the ends of my hair.

"I missed you, too, Tony," I said softly. "I tried to pretend that I was angry with you and that I didn't miss you, but I did...so much, even if it was only one night." I let out a slight chuckle.

"I don't know what we're going to do when this tour is over...with you living in San Diego and me in Newport Beach," Tony spoke with an elongated sigh and for a moment I was afraid that he was going to ask me to move in with him. Or for him to want to move in with me.

"Tony," I said with a shaky breath. "It's only an hour and a half distance."

"I don't think I can do that."

"What are you saying?"

Tony srugged from beneath me. "I think it's time to move back to San Diego."

"Really?" I asked, lifting myself off of him just a bit to look into his eyes. He smiled back at me and I knew in that moment, that Tony Perry was my happiness. Being near him and being with him made me happy. Completely and truly happy. I looked at him and I saw love, and I also saw Marky. Tony and Marky were so close, and knowing that Tony had suffered from his death also made me comfortable with him and feel more connected to him.

"What are you thinking about?" Tony asked with a laugh. "You're just staring at me and smiling. It's kind of creepy."

I shook my head, a smile still on my face. I leaned forward and gently brushed my lips against his. Without the full contact, I was still in pure bliss. My body was on fire and my heart desired more. Tony’s hands slowly began to crawl under my shirt so he could hold onto the bare skin of my hips. He rubbed his calloused fingers over my hips and I continued to tease him by gently rubbing my lips over his. He pushed his lips forward to try and catch mine in a full kiss, but I pulled back every time, leaving our noses rubbing together, but our lips distant.

“Meedie,” Tony groaned in frustration. My teasing was working, and I was glad to see him work to try and kiss me. He leaned in again, this time catching me in a moment where I wasn’t prepared, and so our lips locked. I kissed him back quickly and our lips were soon moving together slowly. His bottom lip was plump, and I enjoyed focusing my attention on it by sucking on it and sinking my teeth into whenever I got the chance. Tony’s tongue flicked from his mouth as I pulled his bottom lip back, my teeth digging harder and harder into the flesh. He licked over my top lip to bring me back to him, this time our mouths were open as they moved together and our tongues were the center of attention.

Kissing Tony Perry came so naturally to me. I didn’t have to think about what my next move would be, or what he might like or what I wanted him to do, it always just happened without a cue. My lips and tongue knew what he liked, and so they did it on their own. I was able to focus on the burning in my core as I felt my body craving more of him. Tony’s hands began to trail higher and higher up my sides and I just wished that we were naked already so I could feel his skin against mine.

“We probably shouldn’t do this while everyone is in the next room,” Tony mumbled as he withdrew from the kiss a bit, but he held my tongue in between his teeth as he spoke, causing his words to come out as nearly illiterate. He released my tongue and I let out a groan as I felt the slight throbbing pain from where he was biting it. “Okay, that was sexy,” Tony growled, referring to the throaty groan I had just released.

He pressed his lips to my collar bone as I adjusted my body so I was straddling him instead of lying on top of him. He adjusted himself from beneath me so the arm of the couch was elevating his torso a bit more. My breathing was heavy as I ran my fingers through his hat-less hair and slowly began to move my body against his. I finally couldn’t take it anymore, and I reached down to pull on his belt-buckle where I could feel his semi-hard-on beginning to press against my thigh through his jeans. I was planning all of the things I wanted to do to Tony in order to pleasure him and get him more aroused, and just as I was about to lower my mouth toward where my hands were fumbling with his zipper, there was a knock on the door.

“Sex later, music now,” Jaime said through the door in a childish tone.

“We’re not done talking,” Tony called out as he nodded toward my hands to continue what I was doing. I began to pull his zipper down once again, but stopped as soon as Jaime began talking again.

“We’re not stupid, we can hear how quiet it is in there,” Jaime said with a laugh. “We’ll let you two have the bus to yourselves later, but please just don’t be fucking while I’m talking to you,” Jaime’s voice began to trail off as he became grossed out and I sighed while pulling my hands away.

Tony looked up at me with the most pleading eyes I had ever seen. “Really?” he mouthed to me, careful not to make a sound. He leaned up and pulled my head down so my ear was besides his mouth. “We can be quiet,” he muttered.

“That’s what gave us away,” I replied, being sure to keep my words only audible for his ears.

“Well, we can be loud if you want, then,” Tony growled into my ear before gently tracing his tongue over the outside of my stretched ears. “I need you, baby,” he murmured. The way he called me baby sent chills down my spine and a happiness through my body that warmed my senses and calmed any worry that I could possibly have.

“Seriously, we have sound check in like an hour,” Jaime groaned as he repeatedly knocked his knuckles against the door. “Please keep your hands, arms, legs, and genitals to yourself.”

“What a buzz kill,” Tony muttered as he gave up and pulled his lips away from my ear.

“I heard that,” Jaime said through the door.

Tony grumbled as I pulled myself away from him. As much as I wanted to continue this, it was probably best for the two of us to slow down a little bit. As much as I wanted our sex to be fueled by the current feeling of reconnection after clearing the air, I knew that it was best to wait a bit for the passion to be the main factor of our desires.

“Good,” Tony said back to him as he opened the door. “I hate you all.” Tony pointed around the bus while retreating to his bunk. “Meedie, come on,” he motioned for me to follow him into his bunk.

My cell phone buzzed from my pocket and I looked down to see that Drew had texted me asking if I wanted to try and work through a bit more songs with the guys in an acoustic setting. I looked to Tony who was waiting for me to cuddle with him, and then back down to my phone. Now that things with Tony seemed to be mended, I needed to work on mending the rest of my life.

“I need to meet up with Drew and the guys to work,” I explained as I looked down at my phone. “I can stay if you really want me to, though.”

“No, that’s fine. I’ll call you when we’re done with soundcheck,” Tony said with a smile. “C’mere,” he waved me over and I pushed past Jaime to get to where Tony was leaning his head from out of his bunk. He leaned down and pushed a kiss to my lips. “Bye,” he said with a smile.

I ignored the cat-calls and whistling from the boys as I pecked Tony’s lips one more time and then went to exit the bus. A smile was plastered across my face.

I pulled out my phone to text Lisa an update.

Everything is fine. We can meet up later and I’ll tell you all about it. Thank you for girl’s night. It really helped :)

Everything was finally starting to feel real again. My life wasn’t feeling forced and numb like it did just a couple weeks ago. I was starting to be me again, but a me that I really had grown to like. A me that had Tony Perry.

Notes

Meedie's Outfit

I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to update! I have just started back to school. I'm going into my second year as a Creative Writing Major and UC Riverside, and this quarter I've been really upping my game because I slipped up last year and got put on academic probation because...well, the college life caught up with me. That's all I'll say about that. But anyway, I've been really invested in school so I haven't updated for a while or really been writing much.

But I have another story that is going to be coming out in a little bit. It's different than anything I have done before....but I'm not saying anything else about that :D

What did you guys think about this chapter? I thought about making them yell and fight a lot more, but I figured that I made you guys wait for so long and it wouldn't be nice to put you under all the stress of fighting. Especially with what is about to come....OOPS. I'll let you wonder about that for a while.

Let me know what you think! Love you all <3 I'll try to update more often. Hopefully another update this weekend? Maybe?

Comments

About 5 hours cause my phone would start to die and then I would get into my movie to lol

@taylorlovesptv
I've missed your comments! I remember you commenting. I'm glad you're back on here. I've been MIA from my stories for a while :/ But I just updated! I hope you like it and will read the sequel when I announce it :D

eliseypoo eliseypoo
6/19/15

@Mike'sArmy
How long did it take you to read all of it? haha. Thank you for reading and commenting! :D I hope you liked it and will stick around for the sequel :)

eliseypoo eliseypoo
6/19/15

So I started reading this today. I've read all of it today lol. I love it and I'm excited to see what's next. I honestly think that meedie and Tony were ment to be. There for a minute I thought she was pregnant because of throwing up.

literally so in love with this story, I think I started reading it like a year ago and I haven't been on here in like a year and I immediately started reading this story again and I can't wait until you update like I'm so in love with the idea of Tony and meedie and I just want them to get back together :D

taylorlovesptv taylorlovesptv
6/14/15