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I Can Change Your Life

Heart on my Sleeve

I woke up the next morning with the feeling of Tony’s body on top of mine. We were still naked from the night before. After the party in the hotel room, Tony had decided to stay in my room for obvious reasons. We had some hot, drunk sex and then passed out almost immediately.

I kept my eyes shut as Tony began to kiss down my body. My arms were above my head as he trailed his lips down to my chest. Now, this was definitely how I would like to wake up every morning. I honestly had no idea how I could have been lesbian for all those years now knowing that this was what I was missing out on. Tony’s lip sucked on my left nipple for only a moment before he traced the outline of my heart tattoo around my right nipple. The fact that he loved that tattoo so much turned me on even more, knowing that it turned him on so much. Almost every time he saw it, he had to trace it and let out a small groan in appreciation.

He lips went around my nipple and I hissed in pain. I arched my back and my eyes shot open as Tony pulled away. I looked down to see my nipple slightly enflamed with a silver bar sticking through it.

“What the fuck?” I asked as I looked at the fresh piercing. I thought I remembered everything from the night before, but looking down at this piercing told me that apparently I had missed something. I took a brief moment to look around the room. There was silly string covered the screen of the TV, paper bags littering the floor, and remnants of balloons that had been popped tacked up on the walls.

“You don’t remember?” Tony asked with an amused smile. “You pierced your nipple last night. Well, Mike and Fran helped you.”

I looked down at it and laughed loudly. “Wow, why am I not surprised?”

“Motherfuckin’ mad Meedie,” Tony smirked as his lips returned my skin.

“I’m not even hungover,” I said softly.

“That’s because I fucked you sober last night. We sweated out all of the alcohol in our system,” Tony said against my skin. His words and the feeling of his lips moving against my skin sent goosebumps across my body.

“Man, I fucking love sex with you,” I smiled widely as Tony’s hands began to massage around my thighs.

“Yeah?” Tony asked with a smirk. “What about it do you love?”

Tony was trying to get me to talk dirty, and although I was starting to become braver in my actions, talking dirty was something I was not quite ready to do. Tony noticed this when I didn’t respond to his question. He dipped his head down and I felt his tongue slowly running along my center. I bucked my hips up just a bit and tried to pull my hands down. I wanted to touch him, run my fingers through his hair…something…but my hands were pulled back toward the headboard by something that was tied around my wrists. I looked up to see my hands being held up by a hot pink, feather boa. I looked at it in confusion. Where the fuck did it even come from? Did I sleep like that?

My questions were washed away when Tony wrapped his lips around my folds and sucked while pushing his tongue against me. I moaned out and my hips bucked forward. Tony pulled his mouth away and blew air over me, teasing me. I groaned at the feeling and thrust my hips forward to make contact with his tongue. He looked up to stare at me, leaving his tongue hanging out of his mouth at a reasonable distance away from me. He wanted me to work for it.

I used my heels to support my body on the bed as I thrust my hips up to make contact with his tongue. He continued to remain still as I did all of the work – grinding myself against his tongue. I clenched my teeth and groaned as I stared into Tony’s burning gaze. Tony finally couldn’t take it anymore. He reached up and pushed my hips down into the bed. He gripped my hips and flipped me over. My arms twisted above me, forcing one wrist to sit over the other. Tony lifted me up so I was standing on my knees on the bed. I inched closer to the headboard so my body was almost pressed up against it.

Tony slapped my ass, hard, and I let out a squeal at the sting. I liked rough Tony. Now that we knew that I was able to have sex without being in so much pain, he was slowly starting to let himself become rougher with me. I could see it in Tony’s eyes that he had an even rougher side in bed, and I couldn’t wait for the day I got to see it.

Tony pulled my hips out just a bit and I felt him rubbing his tip just over my entrance from behind. I moaned a bit as I felt him slowly enter me. A gasp escaped his lips as he pushed his body flush against my own. I could feel all of him inside of me and I shivered at the pleasure it brought me. He kept himself inside of me, but pulled my hips back just a bit as he scoot back on the bed. I grabbed onto the headboard to support myself as Tony slowly pulled out of me. For a moment I thought that he was going to be slow and passionate, but he stopped when he pulled out of me, just barely leaving his tip inside.

“Tony…” I whimpered a bit at the loss of feeling. “Tony, please.”

Tony reached around me and squeezed onto my breasts as he placed his chest firmly against my back. He bent his neck down so his lips could get access to the crook of my neck. He bit on the skin. I could feel his breathing on my ear and it turned me on even more. “Please, what?” he asked in a deep, husky voice.

“Please. Fuck me,” I responded in a low tone. My breathing got stuck in my throat for a moment, causing my next breath to be even heavier than before. Tony removed one hand from my chest and reached around to gently grab onto my throat. He squeezed very gently, just enough so I could feel it, but not enough to get in the way of my breathing or bring me pain.

“No,” he growled. “You have to earn it.”

He bit on the side of my ear and I moaned a bit at the feeling. “Please, Tony, please…” I tried begging some more. His tip continued to tease me and I squirmed. “Tony, I need you.”

“What do you want me to do?” he asked from right beside my ear. “Tell me what you want, Meedie.”

He gripped his fingers around my throat just a bit tighter. I didn’t know what else he wanted me to say. I already told him that I want him to fuck me. Then it hit me: dirty talk. He still wanted the dirty talk. He slowly began to pull himself away from me and I let out a whimper. “No, no,” I pleaded as he began to back away. “I want you…I want you to fuck the shit out of me,” I tried. “I want you to fuck my pussy.”

Tony responded by slamming his hips upward, shoving his entire length inside of me. The sudden change brought me a slight amount of pain, but the pleasure took over my body as Tony immediately repeated his actions by slamming himself in and out quickly. My entire body lurched forward with each thrust. His hand remained around my neck, while his other reached down to grab onto my ass tightly. I could feel his fingernails digging into my flesh.

I moaned out loudly, not caring if anybody heard us in the neighboring hotel rooms. The bed began to hit against the wall with Tony’s rough thrusts. I felt bad for Alex and Jack from All Time Low – their room was connected to the wall that we were banging up against. Surely, they could hear everything. I felt slightly embarrassed but it all added to the feeling. I was getting closer and closer as the feeling of Tony’s hips and hands over-took my body while my embarrassment and pain took over my mind.

“Moan,” Tony demanded as he bucked his hips forward.

Fuck, I loved it when Tony was turned on like this. I obeyed his orders and moaned out his name loudly along with a few curse words. My words soon turned into incoherent screams as Tony picked up the pace again, moving into me so fast that I didn’t even have time to breathe in between his thrusts.

I couldn’t moan anymore, my breathing stopped entirely as I felt the feeling in the pit of my stomach growing. He squeezed my neck harder and his other hand reached around to grab onto my right breast once again, at first he was careful to not hurt the freshly pierced nipple, but after a couple of thrusts, his hand instinctually squeezed onto my breast, his palm molding to its shape. The pain in my nipple somehow sent my body over the edge and I tightened around him, screaming out his name over and over again as I continued to orgasm.

Tony began to grunt loudly from behind me and he began to thrust faster and faster, his hips jerking sloppily as he became closer to his own release. He pulled out of me quickly and turned me over so I was lying back down in the position that I had woken up in. Tony used his hand to rub himself quickly until he finished all over my chest, moaning through clenched teeth and heavy breathing as he did so.

Right after Tony finished, there was a loud knock on the door, followed by Vic’s voice. “Thanks for waking up the entire fucking hall!” he shouted. “Breakfast downstairs in thirty minutes. You guys better come.”

“Already did!” Tony responded with a wink.

Vic was silent for a moment before he let out a fake gag followed by a disgusted groan. It was silent for a few minutes and I assumed that he had left. I looked back up at Tony who was staring over my body, admiring his work.

“Okay, I’m just going to go shower now,” Tony said jokingly as he began to stand up from the bed. I was still tied to the bed and there would be no way for me to let myself out. I quickly picked up my legs and wrapped them around Tony’s waist, pulling him back over to me.

“Tony,” I said. “Untie me.”

“Why?” he asked with a devilish smirk. “I like you like this.”

I bucked my hips forward to tease him a bit. I tightened my grip around his waist and pulled him forward so our hips were nearly touching. “Meedie…” he groaned. My teasing was working.

“Untie me,” I demanded again. “Or else I’m going to start something that we don’t have time to finish.”

Tony sighed in defeat and reached up to pull the feather boa off of my wrists. I let out a content sigh as the tension was released. I pulled my wrists down and examined the interesting print that the feathers had left in my skin. “Did I sleep with that on?”

“No,” Tony smirked. “I may or may not have tied you up while you were still sleeping this morning.”

“Why with a feather boa?”

“It was the first thing I found.”

I didn’t even want to ask why a feather boa was the first thing he found. Tony just laughed a little bit after realizing how ridiculous the feather boa was. He turned around and walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open as he turned on the shower and slipped in. He waited for a minute before calling out to me. “You coming in?”

I smiled widely and grabbed my toiletries bag before heading into the bathroom.

-

After sound check, Tony and I decided to walk about the city – just the two of us. “It can be like our first date,” he said as he wrapped his right arm around my shoulders. My stomach erupted into a fit of nervous wings flapping – butterflies taking over my senses.

Just as I acknowledged the butterflies with a slight giggle, I looked up to see the most beautiful sight I could have ever dreamt of. We both stopped walking and a few people that were walking in front of us moved out the way. I watched as two golden-orange, Monarch butterflies fluttered toward us. Their wings were dancing with each other as they swirled around our heads and then disappeared behind us.

“That was weird,” I commented. It was weird because I had never seen two Monarch butterflies so up close before, and because I was just thinking about the butterflies in my stomach.

“You know,” Tony began, “monarch butterflies are a symbol of change.”

“Really?”

Tony nodded as we began to walk again. “When a monarch butterfly approaches it means that an old habit, or lifestyle, is going out and something new is going to replace it.”

I nodded at Tony’s words and couldn’t help but get lost in my thoughts. It was ridiculous how much these butterflies tied into my life at the moment – for obvious reasons. I looked over to Tony as we continued to walk down the street, enjoying his features. I stared over the way his neck tattoo wrapped up behind his ear and I appreciated the way you could see the rest of the wing from through his gold tunnels that were accessorizing his stretched ears. I could see the corner of his eyes from the side of his black sunglasses – I watched as his eyelashes swiftly touched his cheek with every blink. I studied over the small bumps in his skin and stared at the small scar – a small divot – where one of his lip piercings used to be. I looked over the way his bottom lip stuck out just a bit from his slight under-bite and the way his top lip was thin and a bit more inset.

I saw Tony’s eyes quickly shift over to me as the corner of his mouth twitched up into a slight smile. My stomach felt as if it was going to explode from the feeling that my nerves had given to me. I turned away, slightly embarrassed and blushing. As I stared at the ground in front of me, I felt Tony place a strong kiss to the side of my head. He breathed in while keeping his face squished into my hair.

“Stare all you want,” Tony said into my hair. “I am yours, after all.”

I turned to face him, but before I could say anything, Tony stopped walking and cupped each of his hands around my face. We stared at each other through our sunglasses, and even though we couldn’t really see each other’s eyes, we both knew we were staring right into them. Tony leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I kept my eyes open – I wanted to see the way he looked when he kissed me. When he got close enough, our sunglasses gently hit and I could see through them entirely now; his eyes were wide open and staring right into my own.

We ended up slipping into a small restaurant that was a few feet away, our hands intertwined as we slid into the same side of the booth. Tony started to chat away, but I couldn’t listen. I just continued to stare at him and I couldn’t get those damn butterflies out of my head and stomach. The image of those butterflies and the explanation that Tony had given me made me want to believe that there was a purpose that those two Monarchs had floated around us.

The feeling I got when Tony kissed me was…well, weird. But not a bad weird…if that made any sense at all. It was weird because, well, I was kissing Tony Perry. Tony had always just been “one of the guys” to me: a friend of a close friend who I had gotten close with by default. When Marky and Tony started to spend a lot of time together, Tony and I got closer to each other – well, mostly just used to each other since we were never having confidential conversations or heart-to-heart sessions of conversation. It was also weird because I felt this weird pulling sensation in my chest. Like my heart was beating too fast and it was going to explode at any moment and the nerves that were fluttering in my abdomen were pushing my heart up, higher and higher as my anxiety rose in my chest. My heart was on my sleeve and Tony Perry had his arm wrapped tightly around my shoulders – never letting go of who I was: faults, depression, confusion and all.

He accepted me...all of me and...

"Aw, fuck," I muttered when realization struck and my eyes went wide.

I was familiar with this weird feeling that Tony was giving me, but I'd never felt it like this in particular. But perhaps it's a different pulling feeling for each person you feel it with. Or maybe it was different because this time it was with a guy instead of a girl.

"What?" Tony asked as he furrowed his eyebrows. He picked up the beer that the waitress had just left him and took a sip while he looked at me.

"Nothing, I just-just realized that I forgot to charge my fucking phone last night," I said in mock anger.

"You're funny," Tony chuckled and turned his attention over to the menu. He slammed it down and then turned to me with a playful smile. "Wait a minute…where did that come from? You totally weren't even listening to anything I just said, were you?"

I gave him a guilty smile and leaned into his side, allowing him to wrap an arm around my shoulders and pull me up against him so our legs we hitting and our faces were close.

My phone was sitting in my pocket, actually fully charged from a full night of charging.

"Are you sure there's not something else?" Tony asked when the silence finally got to him.

"Oh, no," I have him a reassuring smile. "I'm just exhausted." I gave him a wink, and Tony seemed more than satisfied with my answer.

Sure, I was exhausted – not just from the sex with Tony Perry, but also from the running of my mind. I couldn’t get it to slow down and take a breather, it kept sprinting around in circles – searching for something, but I didn’t know what until I saw those butterflies.

I was falling in love with Tony Perry.

-

I sat down on the curb and waited for the guys to get their things out of their small trailer that they had been lugging around with them. Drew and Logan were talking to Tony as he showed them something on their guitars. I didn’t know much about the guitar, so all I could do was really sit back and wait for them to all finish. Drew had contacted me just as Tony and I had finished eating and asked if I wanted to try playing through a song with them. Since we didn’t really have anywhere to go, we let them pull their van and trailer up beside the tour buses and we would just practice behind the buses.

“Hey, Meedie,” Reid called my attention over to him just as I got settled on the curb. “Can you give me a hand with my drums?”

I got up and followed Reid over toward their trailer. As I passed by Tony I placed a hand on his shoulder just to acknowledge him a bit. In return he smacked my ass – a loud slap echoing in the air. I hissed at the pain and turned around with a pained expression. Tony gave me a wink and then continued on with his conversation, his fingers placed in an intricate pattern over the strings.

“This is so weird,” Reid said as he shook his head.

“What?” I asked as I approached. I felt like maybe it was a bit much to bring Tony along, and I was afraid that maybe I had made them feel uncomfortable.

“Hanging out with you and Tony. You have no idea but you’re seriously making our dreams come true right now. Even if things don’t work out with you singing or whatever – just getting to spend time with you has been enough to make my life complete. As lame as that sounds. It’s true though, we all feel that way,” Reid laughed nervously. “I told Drew not to spill his guts to you in fear of scaring you off, but yet here I am being a hypocrite.”

I let out a nervous laugh. “It’s okay. I don’t think you realize it, but we love hearing stuff like that. It makes our lives, too. I know it makes mine a whole lot better. We all know that I need a little up-lifting.”

I rolled my eyes at myself. I sounded like I was wanting sympathy or attention, and I hated to be that person. I decided to reach into the trailer and pull out a piece to Drew’s drum kit and walk away before he could respond. Even though these guys were great and I was already enjoying myself with them, I was still a bit apprehensive to unveil too much about myself. I wasn’t a particularly reserved person, but within the past year I had grown to be that way because my life wasn’t private anymore and it really sucked, especially after Marky’s death. In a time like this, I would really just prefer to keep my life to myself and the people closest to me. Of course, I knew that going into this industry would mean no more private life what-so-ever. I had to work to keep my life private. So far I was doing a decent job – at least when it came to Marky and to my drinking and my cutting. A relationship can never be secret, though. But that was okay. I’d rather the fans see me as happy than as an alcoholic, obviously.

Once we were all set up, we sat down and decided to break up the song verse by verse according to the lyrics that I had written. When I listened to their demo, I had written my lyrics in time to their songs so it was easy to break everything up, but playing it together and making sure my tone matched and everything was the only challenge.

Tony sat on the curb that was along the fence that was separating the venue’s lot from the business park across the street. He had his phone sitting in between his hands, occasionally responding to a text or looking at the time. When he wasn’t checking his phone he had his eyes glued on me – he studied my every movement. I could feel him staring at my lips as they sang and every now and then I would lock eyes with him and crack a smile while trying to sing. He would return the smile, but stretch it wider than I could manage.

My heart was fluttering as I performing in front of Tony like this – everything was so raw, my voice was cracking every now and then from my lack of warm-ups, my pitch wasn’t spot on while we figured things out, and I sometimes fumbled over my words as I tried to read from my notebook since I didn’t have the lyrics memorized. Tony was still thoroughly impressed though, and that made my nervousness fade just a bit, and instead all I felt was lifted because of the way Tony looked at me.

It was way too soon to be falling for Tony Perry like I was, and I knew this and because of that I was just letting the feelings tickle me from the inside – never admitting to them out loud though. I knew that the relationship with Tony was still young and because of that we were still in our “honeymoon phase” where everything was perfect and our feelings were only growing for each other. It would soon pass and then the arguments, the distance when touring, and the comfortability would eventually get to us. Part of me was looking forward to these tests, though. But only because I wanted this feeling of love to calm down a bit. As horrible as it sounded, I needed something to put a slight wedge between us because I was afraid of falling in love too quickly.

I knew that I was just investing my feelings into something to distract me from the real heart-ache that I felt from Marky’s death. I was pouring everything into my new happiness and that was only going to make things damaged in my future relationship with Tony. And I knew for sure that I had a future relationship with Tony. Neither of us were the kinds of people to have a girlfriend or boyfriend unless it was something serious to us.

Tony’s clapping at the end of the song brought me out of my thoughts and back to the evening. The sun was slowly sinking farther and farther and I knew that it had to be close to show time. Tony checked his phone and then stood up while gently brushing off the back of his legs.

“We better head in soon, Meedie,” Tony said. “We have an hour before meeting time.”

I nodded and turned my attention to the guys. We were all a sweaty mess after all of the practicing we had just done. We only worked through one song – it took two hours but it was damn near perfect for us. I was beginning to get overly excited as I looked at all of their satisfied smiles. “This was awesome, you guys.”

“Definitely agreed,” Drew gushed.

Reid was nodding excitedly.

“I think we’ve really got something here, you guys,” Logan said with a smile. He pushed his sweaty hair back and smiled down at his guitar as he traced his fingers along the strings.

“Do you guys want to watch the show tonight?” Tony asked.

They all smiled widely and their eyes grew wide. Their excitement reminded me of children, despite the fact that they were in their early twenties – they all still looked so young with all of the excitement I had seen from them in all the times we’ve met.

“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble,” Alex said as he pulled his bass from over his shoulders.

“Of course not,” Tony smiled widely. “We’ll just put you on the guest list and then just head over to the box office and they’ll give you your tickets and let you in.”

“Please!” Drew said happily. “Oh, could you please do that! It would make my life even better, you have no idea.”

“Yeah, we’ll go do that as soon as we get inside,” I replied with a huge smile. I gave each of the guys a hug before leaving them to head back over to the bus.

Tony wrapped his hand around mine and stopped me before we could enter the bus. He gently pushed me up against it before placing his lips over mine in a heated kiss. My hands gripped onto his shirt as his right hand was pushed up against the bus and his left one was resting on my bare hip, just under my t-shirt.

“What was that for?” I asked as I tried to gasp for air.

Tony shrugged. “I just feel like kissing you a lot,” he said, but it sounded like there was sadness in his voice. Maybe not quite sadness, but there was an apprehension to his tone that made me think there was something else going on.

“Why?” I asked.

Tony furrowed his eyebrows and worry struck his face for a brief moment. “No reason,” he said as he looked down.

I was instantly confused. Was there something wrong? Had I done something wrong? Maybe I spoke too soon earlier about our relationship and had jinxed it. Something felt off, but Tony didn’t seem to want to talk about and I didn’t know what to do.

If I tried to pry it out of him, he might get angry for me being so nosy. But if I didn’t try to pry it out of him maybe he’d get upset and think that I didn’t care about what he was thinking. But then again, if I did pry it out of him, I might not like the answer. But if I didn’t, then it would bug me and I would want to know what was wrong.

Why am I thinking so much about this?

Tony looked into my eyes and seemed to notice that I was thinking too much. He cracked a forced smile and kissed my forehead, allowing his lips to linger. “Let’s go get ready so we’re not late,” he said softly.

“Tony…” my voice trailed off when my words failed me. I just wanted to know if he was okay, but I wasn’t sure how to ask.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” I asked softly. “Is everything okay?” The second phrasing was more directed toward our relationship without expressing my suspicions about something possibly being wrong, even though I had no idea what it could possibly be.

“Yes,” Tony laughed a little bit, but it was just a rhythmic breath that was accommodated by a smile. “Don’t worry.”

I didn’t want to worry, but I noticed the way Tony’s eyes were worried and the way his smile didn’t quite reach up his cheeks as much as it had earlier. Something was off, and I was terrified to find out what it was.






Notes

Here's a picture of the band members It's also in the description of this story. But I didn't want to do all the separate character profiles because it looks really messy when you first click on the story and yeah I don't want to overwhelm anybody with the millions of character profile thingies so I just put them on this lame picture so you can see who is who and whatnot.

Thanks to sarahmaay for the picture of Drew. :)

Meh, this chapter is alright. The best part is the sex. Idk why but the other day I wrote like three smut pieces that were all pretty rough and kinky. So, expect some more smut in one of my other stories sometime soon ahah.

What do you guys think about the monarch butterflies? And what do you think about Meedie's feelings? And what's up with Tony?

I love your feedback! Thank you guys. Love you all xoxo

Comments

About 5 hours cause my phone would start to die and then I would get into my movie to lol

@taylorlovesptv
I've missed your comments! I remember you commenting. I'm glad you're back on here. I've been MIA from my stories for a while :/ But I just updated! I hope you like it and will read the sequel when I announce it :D

eliseypoo eliseypoo
6/19/15

@Mike'sArmy
How long did it take you to read all of it? haha. Thank you for reading and commenting! :D I hope you liked it and will stick around for the sequel :)

eliseypoo eliseypoo
6/19/15

So I started reading this today. I've read all of it today lol. I love it and I'm excited to see what's next. I honestly think that meedie and Tony were ment to be. There for a minute I thought she was pregnant because of throwing up.

literally so in love with this story, I think I started reading it like a year ago and I haven't been on here in like a year and I immediately started reading this story again and I can't wait until you update like I'm so in love with the idea of Tony and meedie and I just want them to get back together :D

taylorlovesptv taylorlovesptv
6/14/15