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Beauty Queen in Tears

four.

It was all sorts of weird having to make a living for myself. Waking up on a stiff couch instead of a king-sized bed dressed in expensive satin sheets. It was hard the first week, but after about a month of working at the 7-11 I was getting the hang of being an adult. Anna helped me set up an Ebay account where I auctioned off some of the designer clothing I no longer wanted. Ninety percent of every dollar I made went straight to the bank. It took a little longer than I expected to save enough money for my own place, but Anna didn't mind having me around and she was practically a live in chef so I wasn't complaining. Her friends became my friends and suddenly I didn't feel so alone. I remember crying the whole way to San Diego, my face red and puffy, everyone staring at me out of pity. I wanted to snap at them, to tell them to mind their own fucking business. I didn't say anything, though. I was too embarrassed. I got dumped by the 'love of my life'. No place to go and no money to go there with. If it wasn't for Anna buying me a train ticket and offering me a place to stay, I'd probably be living on the streets. Nothing could make me go back home to live with my parents. Nothing.

I tossed and turned at night just thinking about it. Thinking about him. About everything he put me through only to decide at the last moment that I wasn't good enough for him. Or even anybody at all. I still had the bitter taste in my mouth, the sickening feeling in my stomach. There were moments when I allowed myself to believe every word he hissed at me. I felt ugly and useless. Even when Vic looked at me as though I was the next Victoria Secret angel to be inducted. I took one glance into his big brown eyes and could only imagine all the vicious thoughts running wild in his brain, even if he was nothing like my ex at all. He fucked me up. Alessandro really fucked me up. I stared out into the patio, pressing my fingers against the cool glass. It was raining hard and Anna was at the homeless shelter volunteering (but what was new?) leaving me all alone. I was off of work and everyone else was busy doing whatever it was that they did when they weren't laundering at Anna's house.

/

It was a beautiful night, the sky was filled with stars, and I was dressed head to toe in vintage Chanel. There were people in every corner of the house, our house, drinking expensive wines and mingling with very important people. I felt at home. A socialite in her natural habitat. I walked around with a flute of champagne, eyes scattering around the room for my boyfriend. It was a party to celebrate him, the recent business deal he closed was one for the history books. I was proud of him. So proud my cheeks were beginning to sting from the constant smiling. There were a lot of stressful nights where he couldn't sleep because he was so anxious to know if his business proposal was solid enough. Whether or not he was taken seriously, he was young after all. Only twenty-seven years old with the world in the palm of his hands. I walked up and down the stairs and made my rounds to make sure everyone was having a good time. I got stopped every now and then. People wondered about me. They wanted to know where I came from and where I was going. Young, beautiful, and rich. That was all that there was when it came to me. I had no education, no credentials. Nothing to set me apart from everyone else that was invited to our celebration.

I was just that, beautiful. The type of woman every businessman wanted as their trophy wife. Nothing more, nothing less.

I reached our bedroom and my hand twitched as it hovered over the doorknob. I pushed the door open and found my love sitting there at the edge of the bed with a woman that wasn't me. He didn't notice immediately but she did, a look of disgust and sympathy all rolled into one. She leaned over to whisper something in his ear and got up, strutting past me to join the rest of the party. Alessandro sighed and I took a long gulp of my champagne, finishing it in one go. He stood up and shoved his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. "Sydney," he spoke, turning away from me to glance at the Monet that was hanging over our bed. "I think it's time we talked about the future." My heart literally stopped in my chest and I was weak in the knees, feeling absolutely pathetic in six-inch heels. Maybe caviar as a snack wasn't the best idea. "You're beautiful. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that." He spun around, grinning to reveal a set of pearly whites. "But that's it."

My heart dropped into my stomach. I wanted to die right then and there.

"I wanted you a lot when I first met you. Beautiful and pure. A virgin at that. You came from a good family background. You weren't completely moronic." He was pacing back and forth around the room and I wished the ground would swallow me up. It almost felt as though it wasn't real, as if I was dreaming lucidly. I was numb, my eyes squeezed shut on their own as if that would help to block out the sound of his taunting voice. "But other than that.... You're useless. Good in bed, pretty on my arm, but completely useless." He stopped moving and shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly, as if he wasn't tearing me to pieces. As if this was some sort of casual conversation like discussing our dinner plans for the evening. "And if we're being honest, y'know, between you and me, you're not really that attractive either. You've seen some of the women downstairs and even the one that was just in here with me. You're average at best. Atrocious compared to everyone else in this mansion right this second."

I flinched, feeling the words hit me like a truck. "Why are you doing this?" Was all that I could manage to say, and it was barely audible at that. There was a lump sitting comfortable in the cavity of my throat and I could barely breathe. I couldn't believe this was happening.

He laughed and it was then that I realized just how cruel the love of my life truly was. "I'm doing this because we're over. I was always way out of your league and I let you live in this fairy tale for way too long. You're not my Cinderella and even the best hair dye couldn't transform you into her." Alessandro grabbed me by my forearm and squeezed the muscle tightly, almost in a menacing manner. "You have an hour to pack your shit and leave. You can take the car I bought you too, I don't care. But you only have an hour. Don't make me have to remind you."


/

"Fuck, Sydney," I growled at myself, trying to shove the memory out of my head. I remembered every detail of that night and how it felt to be utterly defeated in every sense of the word, I never wanted to feel that way again. I never wanted to let someone make me feel that way again. Every now and then I'd look in the mirror and see myself the way he wanted me to. Useless. I wasn't useless. I was good for something. I had to be good for something. I just didn't know what it was yet. I wiped the remnants of tears from the corners of my eyes and took a deep breath, letting my head lull against the wall behind me. I just wanted to sit in peace and quiet with the sound of the rain soothing me into a false sense of security. I was okay for now. No longer in a toxic environment where I was constantly competing for someone's affection. Everything was going to be okay. I brought my knees up to my chest and tucked them underneath my chin, feeling so small in a house that felt more like home than anywhere else I had ever lived.

I almost fell asleep from the exhaustion of human emotion when I heard someone knocking at the door. I got up and adjusted my clothing, the pitter patter of my feet against the hardwood floors echoing in my ears. I undid all the locks and opened it quickly, revealing a very soaking, yet unnaturally happy little Mexican. "It's pouring out here," he said as if I couldn't tell. I stepped to the side and let him enter the house, watching as he shook the water from his hair. I scrunched my face up knowing that Anna would kill us if there was any damage to her furniture.

"What're you doing here, feo?" I teased, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Who you callin' ugly?" He placed a hand over his heart in faux pain as he kicked his shoes off, leaving them by the door. Vic looked up at me as he stood by the door awkwardly, closing it behind him. "I got bored sitting at home all bored and shit."

I rolled my eyes at him and he placed a hand on my cheek suddenly. I froze under his gentle touch. "Were you crying?" My heart started beating loudly like a steel drum. I could feel my face heat up as I tore my gaze away from him, taking one, two, and three steps back.

"I'm fine."

He looked at me and I couldn't read the expression on his face. I felt ashamed that I let him catch me like this. If there was anyone in the world I couldn't allow to see me in a vulnerable state it would be Vic. "You're going to have to talk about it someday." He said simply, letting out a small breath.

I shrugged a shoulder, looking at the way his soaked clothes clung to him. He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into his chest, tightly. He knocked the air out of me but I wouldn't have been able to breathe anyways.Something to do with how close I was to him. He held me and it was like I could read his mind. Every single thought projected in his touch. His embrace was cold because of his clothes but it warmed every inch of my weakened heart. I wanted to push him away, and yell at him for not leaving me alone like I hoped he would. I was way too damaged to pursue anything with anyone. I tried to wiggle myself out of his grasp and he just pulled me tighter against him. We were friends, we had a good thing going. Yet as we stood there in the doorway with tears threatening to spill from my eyes and his hand caressing my lower back softly, I was beginning to question everything I told myself thus far. Maybe the whole world wasn't out to get me. Maybe people (other than Anna) actually cared.

I allowed myself to wrap my arms around his hips, accepting the unconditional comfort he was offering me. "You're so different from every other girl I've ever l-" he paused and swallowed loudly. I could hear his heart hammering in his chest but decided not to say anything about it. He probably knew, anyways. "You're so mysterious. Beautiful. Crazy beautiful. It's scary. You scare me." He finished and it sounded like he was out of breath.

"Hey, I'm scared too..." I said with a small laugh, clutching at his frame desperately. How was it that I felt even smaller while in his embrace?

Vic ran his fingers through the ends of my hair, evening his breathing out to steady his heartbeat. Or at least trying to. "Scared of what?"

I clenched my jaw, taking a deep breath. "Of you." Leaning back I tilted my head to lock eyes with him, if only for a moment. "Of everything."

"Me too, Sydney." He pulled me back into his chest, "me too."

Notes

meep

Comments

Great chapter im loving this story a lot

creatures624 creatures624
12/13/16

I just about shit myself when I saw you had updated. This story is so captivating, and from the onset drags readers into its web. I adore this, and I am ecstatic you have decided to continue it. Cannot wait for more!

DELETEDUSER DELETEDUSER
12/12/16

I read the first chapter and i really like it and it funny and ill be reading the rest you doing a great job and omg yess the Adelaide Kane is so beautiful she is great actor

creatures624 creatures624
10/26/16

I adore this so far! The thought to detail, such as the relatibility of Sydney's character and her storyline, make the story much more interesting and enjoyable, a quality not always present in online stories. As a result, I am so excited to see how the summary you gave will tie into the story, and I wholly intend to stick around and find out. You have a real piece of art here; can't wait to see your further interpretation of it.

DELETEDUSER DELETEDUSER
10/24/16