*Jenna’s POV*

I glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 2:15am.

I couldn’t sleep. I lay on our bed and I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened today. It just feels…wrong. The barbecue party was a mess. T’was filled with awkward silences and uncomfortable stares. I’m sure everyone enjoyed, I didn’t. Inviting Tim over was definitely a wrong move. Vic insisted on it. The two of them kept on throwing intentional offensive statements about each other. I’m not happy about it.

My head is buzzing. We’ve been only here for a day but a lot has happened. I still have huge decisions to make. But I’ll put that aside for now.

I counted in my head. It’s supposed to be 8 in the morning in San Diego. I guess all the activities really exhausted everyone. I got up and put on a robe. I wanna check on the kids. I never thought I could feel so restless.

I creeped over to their room. I could still hear the sound of TV and laughter coming from Tony and Erin’s room from the hallway. I’m glad that turtle has Erin. I see how happy she makes him. Tony has come so far. We don’t usually talk about his depression but I’ve always reminded him that our family will always be there for him.

I wonder if I have that the same effect on Vic with his self-harm issues. He’s always told me that I saved him but I don’t believe that for a second. I only helped him. He saved himself. And that makes me the proudest wife in the world.

Slowly, I entered the kids’ room. The night light was open and both of them are sleeping so soundly. Quinn is hugging Mr. Snuggles while holding her unfinished bottle of milk. I give them both a kiss and went back to our room.

I took a deep breath and lie down next to Vic. Usually, I am the early sleeper. Okay, Jenna. Concentrate on sleeping. You can do this. I closed my eyes shut but everything that happened today kept on playing in my head.

I found out some things today that really bugged me. I found out I was wrong, about Tim. I don’t know why it still matters because Vic makes me the happiest person on earth.

Tears started to fill my eyes, but not because of that. Today’s just been so emotional and this is my body’s way of releasing all the stress and frustrations. I’m not crying because I want Tim back. I’m crying because I’m tired. Everything’s just too much. Hopefully, we won’t run into him again. I really want to enjoy this vacation.

That won’t change the fact that I still gotta tell Vic what really happened between us. And that’s another thing that’s making me cry. I’ve been dishonest with him. I feel like he’s gonna hate me no matter what I say.

I stared at his sleeping figure. He’s shirtless and is sleeping on his tummy. I can’t stand him being mad at me. The idea of life without Vic is unimaginable. It’s unbearable. I actually never thought I could fall in love again after Timothy. But then he came along and he blew me away. I let him slip through my fingers once, and it hurt like a bitch seeing him with another girl. It is not gonna happen again.

I stared at the ceiling once again. Now that I’ve let it out, maybe I could finally fall asleep. Crying always makes me sleepy.

Then I felt Vic’s strong arms wrap around my body, pulling me closer to him.

“Hey. What’s wrong?”

I turned to face him, “Nothing. Just…this day’s been crazy. Go back to sleep.”

“I know.” He said smiling, his eyes still closed. “Actually, I’m not that tired.” He said opening up his eyes and smiling smugly.

“Victor...” I said frowning.

“You’re not in the mood?” He said.

I didn’t answer. He got on top of me and started kissing my neck.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll put you in the mood,”

“Vic…no.”

Then he stopped, collapsing back to his place.

“What’s wrong?” His face looks so upset and annoyed. “Is this about…?”

I know what he meant. “No. God, no.”

“Then what?” I can hear the frustration in his voice.

More tears fell down. “I…I need to tell you something.”

He sighed and then rubbed his face.

“Jenna, I’m scared.”

My heart broke. I think he saw this coming already. But I have to it. I have to tell him. Now, or never.

“Can we sit?”

“Yeah.”

I ran my hands through my hair and took a deep breath. “Okay, listen.” I can feel my heart beat fast. “I don’t know where to start…” I said sobbing.

He touched my face and wiped away tears with his thumb. I could live forever and never deserve this man.

“I’ve known Timothy since I was very young. Um, our families are pretty close too. We went to high school together and then we started seeing each other.” I looked straight into his eyes, which are filled so much curiosity. I took a deep breath before speaking again, “We were together for almost four years. What we had was pretty…serious.”

“How serious?”

I took another deep, shaky breath. “Okay. We were engaged…for a while.”

My eyes never left his. And I could see it. I’ve never seen eyes change from full of curiosity to full of pain so fast.

“What?”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” I said covering up my mouth, knowing that this would all go downhill from here.

“Wh—? Then—? Engaged? H—how did--?” His voice is shaking.

“We were on limbo then, because I’ve always thought that he hated what I was doing, you know music and the band. We were on tour with The Story So Far for The Suppy Nation Tour and he magically showed up backstage after two months of not talking because we had broken up for the millionth time and asked me to marry him.”

“And you said yes?” This time, he’s crying.

“And…I said yes.”

I expected him to react violently but he didn’t. He just sat there, with his hands on his face, shaking his head

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how. I didn’t wanna relive it. And… I..I didn’t wanna hurt you.”

“Don’t you see how much this is so much worse? It spoils the fairytale. I’m not the only one that you’d want to marry.”

“You are—I’m sorry, babe.”

He sniffed and wiped away his tears and then looked up at me. “I know me too. I’m going back to sleep now. Good night.” He lay down on the bed and the shut down his night light.
I scooted closer to him. “Vic…”

“No, Jenna. Don’t touch me. I can’t believe you lied to me.” He said, his back still facing me.
“I didn’t lie to you.”

“By omission!” He turned to he could face me. “It’s the same thing. How am I supposed to trust you?”

He got up and then walked away.

What now?

Notes

Belated Happy Halloween ya'll