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Compilations & Complications

Heartache Hotel



“I don’t get why you won’t let me drive.”

“Because you’re the youngest person in this car. If Mom and Dad get a call about a crash they’re gonna rush to the hospital and ask me what happened and you know what I’ll tell them? ‘I was dumb enough to let the sixteen year old drive the car for a few hours. We’re all badly broken but she really wanted to.’”

“I’ll be seventeen in a few months you dictator.”

I laughed at my siblings’ banter as I sat back in my seat. Gabi, Brandon and I were in the car on our way to San Diego for Fourth of July week. Kellin and Ariel were with us too. I had asked my mom if we could get away (and see Mike) and she was surprisingly cool with it, as long as Brandon went with us. Of course he didn’t want to spend a week in California without Ariel so she was tagging along. Kellin had flown down and spent a week at our house so he could prepare for the trip. My parents liked him well enough so it wasn’t a big deal to have him stay with us.

“Kay you’re up in the next hour.” I nodded at my brother. Since it was a twenty-hour drive from Texas to Cali the four oldest people in the car had to take five hour driving shifts. We’d only been on the road for four hours.

I looked at the sleepy Kellin who was sitting next to me. He had his headphones in and his eyes were closed. I was sure he wasn’t asleep though, especially since Gabi was on his other side. She always tended to get really restless on long car rides. Poor Kellin.

As if he’d heard my thoughts he looked at me through his eyelashes. I gave him a sympathetic smile as Gabi bounced her foot up and down. It was a good thing Brandon said she couldn’t drive.

“Chill Gabs, Kell’s trying to sleep,” I whispered to her. She pouted but stopped moving. Honestly I think Gabi was as excited as she was to see Tony. The two of them had been texting a lot lately. They had a lot of similar interests: Tony was a huge nerd who loved Star Wars; Gabi was a huge computer nerd (like our dad) who was in the robotics club at her high school. She was in charge of designing the code for the robots. When she told Tony that she loved doing stuff like that he enlisted her to help him build his own personal R2-D2.

I closed my eyes while I thought about the reason I was so excited about going to San Diego. It’d been months since Mike and I had seen each other in person. I really just wanted to be around him. He even mentioned that I’d get the chance to meet his parents. I worried about Kellin though. I knew he was still hung up on Vic and since we were gonna be hanging out with Mike and Tony it was guaranteed that Jaime and Vic would be there too. Swear, those four couldn’t do anything without each other.

It was gonna be fun though. Gabi and I promised Kell that we wouldn’t let Vic get the best of him the entire week. Gabs even offered to beat him up if he tried something. She thought that because she played soccer and volleyball and was in marching band that she was athletic enough to take a guy who was five years older. I would’ve put my money on her though. She was pretty scrappy.

I leaned my head on Kellin’s shoulder as I felt sleep take me away. It was 4 AM and Gabi had finally chilled out; she too was leaned up against Kellin. I snuggled in close to my friend and drifted off.

***

“Can we get donuts? Please?”

“Oh my god, no! Please stop asking.”

“Get her the damn donuts so she’ll shut up!”

“You guys are funny,” Kellin said with a chuckle.

“Really? I’ve been a part of this for about four years and I still don’t see it.” I saw Gabi through the rearview mirror stick her tongue out at Ariel. It was my turn to laugh.

“Seriously though Brandon,” my sister said, “it’s ten in the morning and we haven’t eaten. Can we please get some fucking breakfast?” I bit my lip. Brandon and I knew better than to piss Gabi off when she started cussing.

“Alright Gabs, we’ll find an IHOP or something,” I assured her. She scrunched up her face but sat back in her seat. I got off at an exit ramp and pulled into a nearby gas station. “I’m gonna fill us up again though.”

“Don’t worry Kay, I’ve got it.” I smiled at Kellin as he left his seat next to me and walked into the station. Within a few minutes the tank was full and we were on our way to an IHOP in El Paso.

“We’re gonna get lost,” I heard Kellin mumble. I playfully swatted him on the arm.

“Well maybe you could give directions. You are riding shotgun.” He groaned at the demand that he had to do anything besides just sit there and pulled out his phone. After some arguing with the maps app we found ourselves at the diner.

“Finally!” Gabi screamed as she jumped out of the car and ran into the building. Brandon laughed and took ahold of Ariel’s hand. I was about to leave the car when I noticed that Kellin hadn’t moved an inch.

“What’s up Kells? Everything alright?” He nodded slowly and opened his door. I didn’t say anything else but walked into the restaurant and sat with my family.

Breakfast was pretty nice. Kellin seemed to be out of his mood and was even laughing at B and Gabi’s antics. I wondered what was going on with him. I also didn’t hesitate to shoot some quick glances his way when he wasn’t paying attention. He seemed perfectly fine though. Weird.

It was no longer my turn to drive so I got in the back seat next to Kellin while Ariel sat in the front and Brandon rode shotgun. I rested my head on Kellin’s shoulder like I had before and put my lips to his ear. I was gonna get to the bottom of this.

“You okay Kell?” I whispered. He gave me a small smile.

“Yeah, just a lot on my mind. Don’t worry about it though.” I frowned but let it go. So much for getting to the bottom of it. He wasn’t gonna talk about it which meant he was thinking about Vic. I couldn’t blame him. Their break up was nasty and the aftermath killed him. He missed his best friend to death and seeing him a few months later was gonna be hard. I rubbed his hand reassuringly which caused a genuine smile to form on his lips. I smiled back. Maybe he could actually get through the week.

***



“Oh my gosh, the coast.” I quickly glanced at Gabi who was sitting next to me. It was my turn to drive and we were an hour away from our destination. Thank God. I had been in the car for eighteen hours and twenty-six minutes (yes, I was keeping track) and I couldn’t feel my ass. In a little over an hour the five of us would be at the Fuentes’ house having dinner.

Just a little over an hour.

I shook my head to get rid of the thought. A little over an hour until I would see Vic again for the first time since school got out. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t see him again but the fact that we have the same major and I’m too poor to transfer anywhere else kinda hindered that. Still, when Kay told me that she wanted to go down to SoCal to spend the Fourth with Mike I was gonna say no. Then she said that I could meet cute surfers and I was in.

Vic’s a cute surfer.

I scrunched up my face. Vic didn’t even surf, what the hell?

Vic looks cute in his bathing suit.

That one was true.

I had been having thoughts like that since we left Kay’s house. Midnight was when my thoughts usually ran wild so leaving at that time and being confined to a car in between a jumpy sixteen year old (who would be seventeen in a few months) and her sister telling her to shut up was not helpful. I constantly thought about being in the car with Vic and snuggling up next to him as his heartbeat lulled me to sleep. Swear, long drives make me crazy.

I sighed and focused on the road. Fifty-seven more minutes. I really had to stop counting down the minutes. It was a thing I did when I was excited about something that was gonna happen in the future.

But what are you excited about?

I actually had to think about that one. I wanted so bad to tell myself that I was excited about getting in a bed but c’mon, we all know that was a lie.

You’re excited about Vic.

Shut up thoughts.

You wanna see Vic.

Stop it.

You want his body on you. You want him to tell you he loves you.

So what if I do?

He’s never going to. He has a girlfriend now. You were just something fun to play with for a few months until he actually found the one.

I felt myself grip the steering wheel tighter as I tried to fight off the thought. It was true though, Vic had found the one. His one. And it wasn’t me.

“Kellin?” I heard from next to me. I got out of my mind and looked over at Gabi. She had a look of concern and sympathy all mixed into one expression. I released the vice grip on the wheel and smiled reassuringly.

“Sorry, I’m just excited to get to the hotel.” She gave me a look but didn’t say anything. I guess she was waiting for when we got to be alone.

Forty-five minutes later and we were checked in to our hotel. We paid for adjoining rooms: Kay, Gabi, and I were sharing one while Brandon and Ariel had the other (to which Gabi said that she’d “better not hear them having sex and ruining her innocence”). I hopped into the bed and just stared at the ceiling.

“Kells, you wanna shower first?”

“Nah Kay, you go ahead,” I answered without looking at her. Next thing I knew the bathroom door had closed and I could hear water running. I sighed which caused the other person in the room to clear their throat.

“You wanna talk about what happened in the car?” I sat up and looked at her.

“California reminds me of him,” was all I said. She walked away from the mirror and joined me on the plush island. She pulled my head onto her chest and played with my hair.

“Don’t worry about him. Yes, we’re going to his house for dinner but you guys are going to the same school; there’s no way you can avoid each other. You broke up five months ago Kell and look at you now. Your band is taking off, you’ve got amazing friends, you’re gonna meet some really hot surfers with better bodies. Your life is fucking awesome!” I laughed at her attempt to cheer me up. When I pulled myself off of her I kissed her forehead.

“Thanks squirt, really.” She stuck her tongue out at the name but hugged me anyway. Her comments did make me feel better. Although I wished that I wasn’t in the same state Vic was in I knew I had to face my demons. He didn’t want me? So what? I was a fucking catch and if he couldn’t see it then someone else would be given the chance. Hopefully someone with a six-pack and sun-kissed skin.

After Gabi and I showered our original group of five piled back in the car and drove to the Fuentes residence. I could feel myself getting nervous and yet I was calm for reasons I couldn’t explain.

Maybe Vic will skip dinner.

Oh yeah, that was the reason. The thought of Vic not being at home was the only thing keeping my hopes high. I started reciting a mantra in my head in hopes that it would repel Vic from the dinner, kind of how a rain dance works.

We pulled into the Fuentes’ driveway and got out of the car. I would feel my breaths getting heavier as we approached the front door. Please God, I prayed to myself, please keep him away. Kay rang the doorbell and within seconds a smiling Mike was on the other side of the open space. He scooped his girlfriend into his arms and kissed her.

“Dude, that’s my sister,” Brandon joked. Mike backed away with a nervous chuckle before he led us inside.

The house was really nice. It wasn’t too big but wasn’t small either; it was cozy. It seemed like light filled the entire building, each one giving me a feeling of peace and happiness. We walked through the doorway and into the kitchen.

“Mom,” Mike called to the woman stirring a pot on the stove. She looked in our direction and smiled.

“Wow Michael, you have so many friends.” He rolled his eyes which caused her to hit him in the arm. “Watch it. Now, introduce me to everyone.”

“Sorry. This is my girlfriend Kaylee, her little sister Gabi, their big brother Brandon, his girlfriend Ariel, and my friend Kellin.” His mom went around hugging each of us and asking what year we were and what our majors were. She asked me about my band which I gladly told her about.

“You all seem like a wonderful group of kids. If you don’t mind though, dinner is almost ready. Michael, go get your brother and set the table.”

“Sure Mom.” I gulped. Vic was home. Vic would eat dinner with us. Vic and I would see each other. I chewed on my bottom lip nervously, tasting the faint metallic sting of blood. Gabi grabbed my hand reassuringly. “You’ve got this,” she mouthed to me. I smiled. I do got this.

Mike came back down the stairs as quickly as he’d gone up followed by his big brother. Our eyes locked for what seemed like forever. My heart raced as I stared into his chocolate irises. I saw him bite his lip a little bit. I guess he missed me too.

As if out of nowhere his little redhead appeared behind him. She brushed Vic’s arm as she passed and stood in front of us. “Hi guys,” she spoke. Everyone but Gabi and I greeted her. Gabi was too busy giving her a look and I was too focused on Vic. He was looking anywhere but at us.

After the brothers set the table we all sat down to eat. Vic’s parents were cool, asking us questions and making us laugh with the way they communicated with their sons. They seemed to really like Kay which I’m sure put her over the moon. I on the other hand was deep in the depths of hell. From where I was sitting I could see Danielle rubbing Vic’s knee under the table. He would squeeze her hand or trail his fingers up her thigh. It took everything in me not to hotwire the car and drive back home.

Dinner ended about two hours later. Mr. and Mrs. Fuentes bade us goodbye and we were off to the hotel.

“Well Kell, you made it,” Kay said once she, Gabi, and I were back in our room. I sighed and belly flopped onto the bed.

“Barely,” I spoke into a pillow.

“I know it was rough but you didn’t let Vic or his girlfriend get to you.”

“Yes I did. I did and now I wanna go home.”

“Don’t whine Kellin,” Gabi soothed, “it’ll be fine.”

I thought about it as the three of us climbed into the king-sized bed (I’m gay and they’re sisters, it was bound to happen). It wasn’t gonna be fine. Vic was happy and I hadn’t met my prince charming. The walls started caving in on me and my thoughts. Fuck Kellin, calm down.

My breathing got heavier and the panic attack that was bubbling underneath finally reached the surface. If Vic were here he’d know what to do. I must’ve freaked out a little too much because the girls woke up and cuddled me.

I don’t miss him. I don’t miss him.

I kept repeating that to myself as I rocked back and forth in the girls’ embrace.

I don’t miss him. Not his pretty eyes. Not his perfect smile. Not his touch. I don’t need him. I don’t miss him.

Bullshit.

Tears ran down my face as my breaths got heavier. Get it together Kellin.

In the midst of the breakdown I knocked my phone off the bedside table. Kaylee picked it up and put it back in its place. As if out of habit I reached for it and unlocked it. I looked at my home screen, at the picture of Vic and I after the block party. I studied his face, his eyes, his smile. I’m not sure why but I felt better the longer I looked. Soon I was calm and the girls and I were back in bed, holding onto each other for fear that I would freak out again. I didn’t though. Something about that picture set me at ease.

Shit, maybe I did miss him.

Notes

Finally updated! Took forever with writing and figuring out a title. Also, the site wouldn't let me log in one day, idk. Anyway, leave some love :)

ALSO I hit 1,000 reads on Misadventures! Thanks to all of you who've read; it means the world to me :*

Comments

@rebel_girl
lol I'm working on it. I promise there'll be a chapter up this weekend

Elise Elise
9/8/16

uppddaatteee

rebel_girl rebel_girl
9/7/16

@rebel_girl
lol it's fine. I promise I won't keep you waiting for much longer

Elise Elise
9/3/16

The suspense is real. Like who saves Kellin OMG PLOT TWISH DANIELLA SAVES KELLIN!! sorry for not spelling right lol

rebel_girl rebel_girl
9/2/16

@rebel_girl
maybe he did, maybe he didn't. I honestly have no idea yet

Elise Elise
9/2/16