The room was spinning when I woke up.

Wait, where the fuck was I? And why was I so uncomfortable?

I sat up slowly only to go back down immediately. Apparently the lower half of my body was draped across Tony on the couch; my upper half was leaning against the cushions. I got off my friend and stood slowly. Everything was fuzzy as shit. Shit, where the fuck was I? I tapped Tony then made my way around the room to find Mike and Jaime. After waking those two up I found my date.

I looked down at Danielle’s pretty face and smiled. God she was beautiful even when she was passed out. I bent down and kissed her lips softly, waking her up. She smiled up at me and reached up. I pulled her off the ground only to kiss her again when she stood before me.

It was mid-June. Dani and I had been dating for about three months. After the kiss at Jack’s party during spring break I asked her out. I had heard from Alex that she had a thing for me and I was single so why not? I know, I’m not really into girls but Dani was different. When I looked at her I felt something I’d never felt for anyone else. Anyone besides Kellin.

Kellin.

Not gonna lie, I started dating Dani to make him jealous. We still had a few weeks of class left when we first started dating meaning that Kellin and I still had the same classes together. We still had to sit next to each other. If that wasn’t the most awkward thing in the world then I don’t know what was. At least after class I didn’t have to see him. Kell had moved out of our apartment and into a new dorm. One day I came back from practice to see his room empty. I didn’t sleep right for days.

Dani was a nice distraction. She was pretty and treated me like no other. I wasn’t sure if I really liked her or if she was just a rebound, an experiment. Who cares? I was finally getting over Kellin.

The five of us piled into Mike’s car and drove off into the rising sun. We were all back home in San Diego for the summer. I don’t know which friend’s party we stopped off at the night before but it was one for the books. Dani squeezed my hand as we drove. I would’ve returned the gesture but my entire body ached; probably because half of me slept on Tony the night before. The dude was not as comfortable as he looked.

We pulled into the driveway of my house and slowly climbed out the car. After carefully tiptoeing up the stairs the five of us divided up into my and Mike’s rooms. Dani and Jaime stayed with me while Tony went with Mike.

“So what’s the sleeping situation?” Jaime asked. “Are we gonna cuddle Vic?”

“Please say yes!” I heard Tony yell from next door. The next thing we knew he was in the doorway with a stupid grin on his face.

“Why should I say yes?” I asked. His grin got wider.

“So I can win the bet.” Mike laughed from the hall and pulled Tony back into his room. Jaime and I looked at each other and laughed while Dani stood there confused.

“What bet?” Jaime shook his head.

“It’s ancient history, don’t worry about it.” She shrugged and got into my bed while Jaime took a blanket from my closet and got on the ground. I took off my shoes and crawled into bed with Dani. I didn’t hold her though. I wasn’t sure why but I didn’t feel like it. I closed my eyes and racked my brain to figure out why I couldn’t sleep. Then it hit me.

“It's ancient history.”

Ancient history.

Kellin and I were ancient history.

It had been four fucking months and yet he was still on my mind. I had a girlfriend for fuck’s sake and he was still there. Why the fuck was he still there?

My mind tried to answer its own question but I refused to acknowledge it. Instead I came up with another. See, the boys didn’t really know Dani and I were dating. To those three she was just another friend. As far as they were concerned I was still hung up on Kellin and she was a pal from a bar. I would break it to them eventually but not until I was sure they wouldn’t freak out.

I closed my eyes and wished for sleep. Dani wrapped her arm around me as the sun began to shine through my curtains. I let out a silent but comfortable sigh as I let the warmth from her body take me away.

***



Life is a shitfest. Seriously, when you think things will start to pick up after a shitty moment they just get worse. A textbook shitfest if I’d ever heard of one.

I groaned as the sun’s rays hit my face. I’m not really a morning person and the fact that I didn’t sleep at all the night before didn’t help my mood. I had stayed up all night thinking about Vic. Wasn’t sure why; maybe it was that whole “you can sense when someone’s thinking about you” thing. Whatever it was, Vic was on my mind. I hadn’t really thought about him much.

Lie.

I thought about him a lot. Mostly I thought about the last time we spoke. The scene we made in that restaurant. Oh god, those people who witnessed that on the day of love. I wished I could apologize to them for putting them in that awkward position.

I pulled my phone out from under my pillow and unlocked it. I stared at the picture on my home screen. It was of me and Vic. Kaylee took the picture of us after the block party while we were celebrating our bands kicking ass on stage. We were smiling. We were happy. I was making a stupid face and wearing one of Vic’s snapbacks. I can’t quite remember how I got a hold of it but I had it on.

I went into my photos and looked for more pictures of the two of us. I had one from when I first watched Pierce The Veil perform. They had had such a good show and I wanted to capture the moment. Well, technically Jaime captured it. We were being so stupid but we were happy.

I found another picture of us. That one was taken during spring break last year. My band along with Vic’s went on a group trip to South Padre for the week. Vic and I took that picture on part of the coast. You couldn’t tell when you looked at it but our hands were on each other’s butts.

There was a candid picture of Vic and me sitting on a couch in The Club in the student center. He was laughing at something that was playing on TV and I was laughing at him. He had said something really stupid but his laugh filled the room like music.

I scrolled to my favorite picture of the two of us. It was taken first semester freshman year after the first two days of classes. Vic and I didn’t know each other well but we discovered that we had three classes together aside from freshman seminar. Vic had picked up on how shy I was so after the second day of classes he made me stand next to him in front of the library as a random girl took our picture. “This’ll be proof that you’ll have a friend in me, promise.”

I choked back tears as I looked at the picture. I was so fucking awkward. Like seriously, I was standing there and smiling like I was gonna shit myself. Vic on the other hand was more than happy to take the picture with me.

I locked my phone and placed it back under my pillow. I knew that if I continued to reminisce on the past that I would break down again. That was the last thing I wanted. I couldn’t help the feeling though. Vic was essentially my whole world for two years and yet I wasn’t his. He made that obvious when he played me then started going out with that girl. Danielle. I kinda hated her but not because she was a bitch or anything. She was actually really sweet; she was just dating the guy who had my heart. I sighed.

I needed to get over this. I needed to get over Vic. Easier said than done. That man was tangled in my thoughts. Every good memory I had had him in it. I put a hand over my face and sighed. I needed to make new memories, ones without Vic.

I pondered a thought then took my phone back out. I went into my messages and tapped on Kaylee’s name, finally deciding to show that I’d read the message.

So the 4th is a go for us. You still wanna go?

I typed a quick “yes” and locked my phone yet again. My phone buzzed in my hand. I looked at the screen and read Kay’s response.

Sweet! Gabi can’t wait to see you again

I smiled and said that I couldn’t wait to see Gabi either. After checking the time I decided that it was time to get up and get my day started. I only had a couple more days left at home for a couple weeks before I started making new memories. Memories without Vic.

Notes

Pics Kellin looked at in order: