Will You Fall In Love Again?
For All Of The Long Nights Alone.
Tony got to mine in roughly 15 minutes, creeping around making sure not to wake Lucy up.
"Do you know how funny you look when you're trying to be quiet?" I had to hold in my laughter.
"Yeah I know, I'm sorry." He chuckled and we both burst out laughing. I missed my best friend. Why couldn't things have just been simpler? We finally calmed down and got acquainted again before the guilty, uneasy look came back on his face. I sighed, scared of what was going to happen.
"Okay so spill. Everything that's on your mind. Go." He looked up at me, gave me an awkward smile and sighed before speaking.
"Okay. Well just wait til I'm done then you can react in any way you want, okay?" I nodded for him to continue, "Right well first of all. I did not want to stop speaking to you. I've missed you so much over the past year, I'm deeply, deeply sorry. I can't believe I done it and I'm such an asshole. I promise no matter what happens in the future, we won't lose contact again. I can't and I won't." I stopped him at this point to hug him and tell him everything was okay, a tear sliding both of our faces, we both just knew that we love and missed each other so much. He started to continue. "I'm not making any excuses for him but I just want to explain everything. Before Mike left he was real depressed. He started getting into drink, I don't know if you noticed... He then found that girl that he slept with before, you probably already know, and they started sleeping together. The guilt was overwhelming him and because of the new baby everything was coming back to him about little Carlos, and he felt like you were pouring all your love into Lucy and not him. I found out about him sleeping with her when he took her to my place and fucked her on my bed, pretending it was his house. I, obviously was ridiculously angry. The prick has some nerve I'll tell you that. But then... Then he started getting into cocaine. And we put him into rehab half way through the tour and replaced him. We couldn't have him around us. Rehab changed him though, he's so numb about everything he did to you. He hates himself so much. He tried to commit suicide once, and I never had the heart to tell you any of these things, but I'm telling you now. He's stayed with that girl because he's still overwhelmed with grief. Her name is Pheobe. She's a cunt. I hate that word and I'm using it. She's a proper cunt. Everyone hates her, even Mike. But he's scared to be alone... I heard about everything today btw. Good on you. He deserves it. He needed a slap on the face to snap him back into reality and realise everything he left behind. I'm so sorry Scarlett. I didn't want any of this to happen to you. You are the best person for him, yet he's the worst person for you. I've never seen you happier than when you are not together. You didn't deserve any of it. Me and the guys literally hate ourselvs for stopping speaking to you because Mike didn't want anything to be told back to you. He knew we'd cave and tell you. I love you Scarlett, I'm so sorry." he let out a sob and put his head in his hands.
I was shocked. This was so much information to take in at the one time. Yet I still felt nothing for Mike. Nothing. He's an asshole. And if he thinks that I couldn't take him being a little bit depressed so left instead, then he's just such a fucking idiot. I loved him with all my being. He knew that. He's just afraid to commit. Once a player always a player eh?
I scooted over to where Tony was sitting and pulled his chest to my neck and he sobbed harder, I hushed him and kissed his forehead repeatedly, telling him everything was okay. Because it is. He looked up at me with sad eyes and gave me a weak smile. I kissed the top of his nose and wiped away his tears. He felt so guilty. I felt so bad. He shouldn't have to feel this way, it's Mike's fault. Not his.
"Tone, I love you. Come on. It's not your fault. It's his. He done this. Not you. You didn't know what to do, you were mad with worry. It's okay. I don't grudge anything against you, nor do I dislike you in any way. You're my best friend in the whole world and I -" I was cut off...
Tony crashed his lips into mine. I kissed him back. I've not kissed anyone for a long time. It was an 'in the moment' kind of thing. I ran my fingers through his hair and he lay me down, lying on top of me. I kissed him more passionately than before and opened my mouth to deepen the kiss, he did the same and our tongues fought for dominance for a while until I heard a knock at the door. Who on earth would knock my door at this time? It was like 11PM. Tony let me sit up and there was another knock on the door. We both had a confused look on our face and Tony made his way to my bathroom as I made my way to the front door. I fixed myself slightly before opening the door. I did not expect to see the person I did.
"Mike" I whispered.
"Do you know how funny you look when you're trying to be quiet?" I had to hold in my laughter.
"Yeah I know, I'm sorry." He chuckled and we both burst out laughing. I missed my best friend. Why couldn't things have just been simpler? We finally calmed down and got acquainted again before the guilty, uneasy look came back on his face. I sighed, scared of what was going to happen.
"Okay so spill. Everything that's on your mind. Go." He looked up at me, gave me an awkward smile and sighed before speaking.
"Okay. Well just wait til I'm done then you can react in any way you want, okay?" I nodded for him to continue, "Right well first of all. I did not want to stop speaking to you. I've missed you so much over the past year, I'm deeply, deeply sorry. I can't believe I done it and I'm such an asshole. I promise no matter what happens in the future, we won't lose contact again. I can't and I won't." I stopped him at this point to hug him and tell him everything was okay, a tear sliding both of our faces, we both just knew that we love and missed each other so much. He started to continue. "I'm not making any excuses for him but I just want to explain everything. Before Mike left he was real depressed. He started getting into drink, I don't know if you noticed... He then found that girl that he slept with before, you probably already know, and they started sleeping together. The guilt was overwhelming him and because of the new baby everything was coming back to him about little Carlos, and he felt like you were pouring all your love into Lucy and not him. I found out about him sleeping with her when he took her to my place and fucked her on my bed, pretending it was his house. I, obviously was ridiculously angry. The prick has some nerve I'll tell you that. But then... Then he started getting into cocaine. And we put him into rehab half way through the tour and replaced him. We couldn't have him around us. Rehab changed him though, he's so numb about everything he did to you. He hates himself so much. He tried to commit suicide once, and I never had the heart to tell you any of these things, but I'm telling you now. He's stayed with that girl because he's still overwhelmed with grief. Her name is Pheobe. She's a cunt. I hate that word and I'm using it. She's a proper cunt. Everyone hates her, even Mike. But he's scared to be alone... I heard about everything today btw. Good on you. He deserves it. He needed a slap on the face to snap him back into reality and realise everything he left behind. I'm so sorry Scarlett. I didn't want any of this to happen to you. You are the best person for him, yet he's the worst person for you. I've never seen you happier than when you are not together. You didn't deserve any of it. Me and the guys literally hate ourselvs for stopping speaking to you because Mike didn't want anything to be told back to you. He knew we'd cave and tell you. I love you Scarlett, I'm so sorry." he let out a sob and put his head in his hands.
I was shocked. This was so much information to take in at the one time. Yet I still felt nothing for Mike. Nothing. He's an asshole. And if he thinks that I couldn't take him being a little bit depressed so left instead, then he's just such a fucking idiot. I loved him with all my being. He knew that. He's just afraid to commit. Once a player always a player eh?
I scooted over to where Tony was sitting and pulled his chest to my neck and he sobbed harder, I hushed him and kissed his forehead repeatedly, telling him everything was okay. Because it is. He looked up at me with sad eyes and gave me a weak smile. I kissed the top of his nose and wiped away his tears. He felt so guilty. I felt so bad. He shouldn't have to feel this way, it's Mike's fault. Not his.
"Tone, I love you. Come on. It's not your fault. It's his. He done this. Not you. You didn't know what to do, you were mad with worry. It's okay. I don't grudge anything against you, nor do I dislike you in any way. You're my best friend in the whole world and I -" I was cut off...
Tony crashed his lips into mine. I kissed him back. I've not kissed anyone for a long time. It was an 'in the moment' kind of thing. I ran my fingers through his hair and he lay me down, lying on top of me. I kissed him more passionately than before and opened my mouth to deepen the kiss, he did the same and our tongues fought for dominance for a while until I heard a knock at the door. Who on earth would knock my door at this time? It was like 11PM. Tony let me sit up and there was another knock on the door. We both had a confused look on our face and Tony made his way to my bathroom as I made my way to the front door. I fixed myself slightly before opening the door. I did not expect to see the person I did.
"Mike" I whispered.
Awww, you're so sweet man!
11/11/13