“Alright Kay, good to hear. Goodnight.” I hung up the phone and flopped on my bed. Kaylee had called when she got back to her place. Apparently Brandon was at practice at the time of the shooting but as soon as the team got word they hid in the locker room. Brandon’s phone died which was why he couldn’t tell his sisters but the three of them were at Kaylee’s place, none of them wanting to let each other out of their sights. I couldn’t blame them.

The gunman had shot and killed four or five cops and injured about a dozen people all within the hour and a half we were all on lockdown. It was something. You hear about shootings on TV and read the testimonies of those involved but you never think that you’d be one of those people.

In my frustration and anxiety I pulled out my notebook and opened up to a blank page. I started writing some things I was thinking. Some of them were about fear, some were about happiness, but most of them were about love. Throughout the whole ordeal I felt love. The couples, the families, even our little group. There was love in the room and when the gunman came in that love was mixed with fear.

A knock on my door took me out of my thoughts. “Come in,” I called. A very tired looking Vic made his way into my room holding a beer bottle.

“Hey Kells,” he said as he sat on my floor.

“You know there’s a chair, right?” I asked while pointing to my desk chair. He just shook his head and sipped his beer.

“I’m already down, why get back up?” This little Mexican was drunk and sad. Not a good combination. He stared blankly at the wall, not moving.

“You wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” I asked gently. He shook his head again.

“I wanted to talk to Jaime but he pulled out the beer. Said it would help us get over this. I do feel better though.” I pursed my lips but didn’t respond. We stayed quiet for a while, neither one of us looking at the other. “What was going through your mind?” he asked after some time. I looked down at him.

“I don’t really know,” I answered. “I guess fear, especially when he took that girl.” Vic nodded and drank some more.

“You wanna know what I was thinking?”

“Sure.”

“I was scared, but not because I thought I was gonna get shot. I was scared for you guys.” I shot him a questioning look. “I was thinking ‘My friends are here and there are so many other people in this building and outside who are in danger. I can’t protect all of them. There’s no way.’ I felt fucking useless so then I just got scared.”

“Vic…”

“I’m so used to taking care of Mike, you know, ever since we were little kids. Yeah he could take care of himself but if anyone tried to pick on him I would be there. Tonight I didn’t feel that. Like, if that guy had picked Mike up I wouldn’t have a way to protect him. And then what about Tony, or the girls, or even you?” His voice was starting to crack as he spoke the last sentence.

“Vic, look…”

“No Kell! What was I supposed to fucking do! You guys are my family. What could I have done if he put the gun in one of your backs? I’ll tell you what: fucking nothing.” He laid down on the ground and somehow found a way to take another drink without sitting up. I couldn’t help it; I sat on the ground next to him.

“You can’t put all that pressure on yourself, Vic.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

“Be thankful that no one in the restaurant got hurt.”

He sighed. “I guess.” I reached over and grabbed the bottle from Vic. I took a couple gulps, letting the liquid slide down my throat and the feeling go to my head.

“Looks like you need to forget today too, huh Kells?” I flipped him off and took another drink. “I don’t blame you.” I looked at him.

“With the drinking?”

“Nah, with you wanting to fuck me.” My face started burning.

“I don’t, I mean, I don’t…”

“C’mon Kells, I know you can’t resist this caramel.” I had to laugh at that one, although it was true. Even in his intoxicated state and my tipsy one he was still hot. He patted a spot next to him and I laid down. He looked at me with slightly clouded eyes and played with my hair.

“What are you doing Vic?” He shrugged.

“Nothing, just noticed you have really nice hair.” He twirled a piece of it on his finger. I chuckled nervously.

“It’s nothing compared to yours.” He took some of it and draped it across my top lip.

“There, now we both have some of it.” We laughed at that, maybe because of the beer or maybe because we were finally starting to feel a little better. Whatever it was Vic and I were enjoying ourselves.

“You don’t have mine though,” I said. He thought about it then smiled.

“I’m holding it stupid. It’s mine.” I rolled my eyes playfully. “You shouldn’t do that,” he said.

“And why not?”

“Because those pretty eyes of yours could get damaged and then what would I look at?” My heart stopped and skipped a beat at the same time. Did he just?

“You could look at other things……or people.” He shook his head.

“You’re the prettiest one though.” Yeah, he just. I then realized that he hadn’t stopped twirling my hair and that his hair was still on my face.

“C’mon Vic, you’re just saying that. You’re drunk.”

“I’m only kinda drunk and I’m not just saying that.” His hand left my hair and went down my cheek to my jaw. I stopped breathing when it began to trail down my neck. Before I could really enjoy the feeling he got up and went to my bed. I stayed on the ground with my eyes closed.

“What are you doing over there Fuentes?” I asked when I heard papers shuffling.

“Nothing.” I peeked up and saw him nose-deep in my notebook. I would’ve panicked but he’d looked in there a few times while we were in class.

“Find anything interesting?”

“Yeah actually.” He started reading some of my lyrics out loud:

“Stay for tonight,
If you want to,
I can show you
What my dreams are made of
As I’m dreaming of your face.”

“Is there someone you’re thinking about Kells?” I blushed again. Those lines were for Vic after he came to my dorm last spring to study for midterms. We studied then goofed off but sadly he left my room and went back to his. I was in my feelings so I wrote that, thinking that one day I would be able to showcase it in class or something, anywhere he was.

I tried to shake it off. “Nah man, I wrote that a long time ago.”

“Is it finished then?”

“I wish. If you keep reading you’ll see I have a few parts of a few verses.”

He did just that:

“Honestly I could sing you a song
But I don’t think words can express your beauty
It’s singing to me
How the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me…..

They say that love is forever,
Your forever is all that I need.
Please stay as long as you need…..

I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of.
Can’t fall asleep.
I lay in my bed awake at night
As I dream of you.”

He looked back up at me. “Shit Kell, you’ve got it bad for whoever this is for.”

I smiled shyly. “You could say that.”

“So who is it?” I sat up.

“No one you need to be concerned with.” He gave me his cute little crooked smile.

“C’mon Kells, obviously this person is important to you so yeah, I need to be concerned with them.” He patted the spot next to him. I stood and sat on the mattress. “Good, now spill.” I sighed.

“Well they’re really cool. Beyond sweet. Hot as fuck.” Vic laughed.

“Well shit, that helps.” I shrugged. “Seriously, tell me something I can use. Do we have any classes with them?”

“Yeah actually. All of them.” He looked stunned.

“So they’re a creative writing major? Good to know. Anything else I should know?” I shook my head.

“I think I’ve spilled enough. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Is there anyone you’ve had your eye on?”

“Yeah actually.” My heart jumped. I waited anxiously for him to continue. “There’s that chick, Danielle, in our government class. You know, she has red hair and sits behind you.” My heart fell. No, scratch that, it fucking shattered. Into a million tiny pieces.

“You like her?” I asked softly, trying desperately not to let my emotions come to the surface.

Vic chuckled. “I mean, she’s pretty cute and I do have my eye on her…” I looked down. “…but I’m not attracted to her,” he said carefully. I looked back up.

“But you just said…”

“You asked who I had my eye on, not who I was attracted to.” I rolled my eyes which caused him to tug on my hair. “Stop doing that, pretty eyes.” I blushed.

“Who are you attracted to then?” I just wanted to ignore the fact that I was turning into a tomato.

“I thought you knew,” he answered. I noticed that he was still looking into my eyes and his fingers were messing with a lock of my hair.

“Why don’t you tell me?” I asked softly. His face inched closer to mine.

We sat there, our faces less than an inch away from each other. Then, as if he could read my mind, he placed his soft lips on mine. Fireworks exploded in my head, heart, and stomach. I kissed him back and soon his entire hand was in my hair, pulling my face even closer to his.

The soft kiss ended just as quickly as it started to my dismay. We fell asleep after that, tangled in each other’s arms and our fingers in each other’s hair.

***



I walked up to the table with my food and swear, I almost threw up. “Aye,” I called out, “stop that!” The two at the table looked at me as I put my food down and took a seat.

“Seriously,” Tony said as he put his food on the table and sat next to me. “I swear, if you two start doing the whole ‘Lady and the Tramp’ thing with the spaghetti I’m moving back to San Diego.” Jaime laughed from behind me and sat across from Tony. I looked at the two people who were there before us as one of them continued to put another fry in the other’s mouth. I couldn’t help but smile at the two of them.

I was sitting across from my brother and his new boyfriend.

It had been three weeks since the shooting and since Vic told us what went down between them. According to him he was pretty drunk when they kissed that night but he didn’t kiss him because he was drunk. After a lot of talking it over between the two of them they finally made it official last week.

“Hey boys,” Kaylee called as she and Brandon sat down at the table. I kissed Kaylee on the cheek once she got situated. That was another thing: I finally decided to stop being a little bitch and just ask Kaylee out. We’ve been going strong for almost three weeks.

“Before we get too wrapped up in all the love and excitement I think there’s some business we need to take care of.” Tony, Kaylee, and I rolled our eyes at Jaime’s statement. Vic and Kellin just looked at all of us. The table pulled out our money and placed it on the surface.

“What’s going on?” Vic asked.

“Well my dear friend,” Jaime started, “we all had this little bet and some people,” he looked around the table, “need to pay up.” Vic and Kellin still looked confused.

“What was the bet?”

“Bets,” Tony corrected. Vic made a face.

“We had two,” Kay said.

“The first one was on you two getting together,” I chimed in. Jaime, Tony, and Brandon handed me $20 and Kay $40.

“You guys bet that we wouldn’t get together?” Kellin asked, sounding kind of hurt.

“No silly,” Kay reassured him, “we bet on when Vic would admit he likes guys and finally go out with one.” Kellin and Vic turned to each other.

“What was the winning bet?” Vic asked.

“This semester,” was all I said.

“I bet last spring so yeah, I was out,” Jaime added with a chuckle.

“You knew Vic was gay since last year?” Kay asked.

“Man, we all knew Vic was gay before he knew.” He was right. Vic had had some girlfriends in the past but for some reason those relationships never really worked out. We couldn’t really figure it out until a couple years ago when he completely stopped telling us about the girls he found interesting.

“Alright, alright, what was the second bet?” my brother asked. Tony just laughed in response.

“Seriously, what was it?”

“We, uh, kinda…uh.” Tony turned red trying to keep his laughs in.

“Tony Perry, if you don’t tell me what this bet was.”

“Relax, don’t get your panties in a bunch.” Vic shot him a look. “We bet on who your first boyfriend would be, Kellin or…….”

“Or?”

“……Jaime.” The whole table burst into laughter while Vic stared at us with a blank expression and Kellin blushed.

“Why Jaime?”

“Because there’s always been some subtle flirting here and there,” I answered.

“Subtle flirting?!”

“Yeah man,” Jaime said. “We always have this bromance thing but, I don’t know, you made it look like more.”

“I do not!” We all laughed again.

“We know bro, we’re just messing with you.”

Honestly, we all knew Vic had some feelings for Jaime but they were small and Jaime wasn’t gay so Vic settled for the bromance which worked out fine. When we all got into the band Vic lost those feelings. It wasn’t until he met Kellin last year that it was certain that he liked him. Vic always used to carry the world on his shoulders; he always felt that it was his responsibility to protect those close to him and when it got to be too much he would hold the world in one hand and a drink in the other. When he and Kellin started getting close that all changed. He actually let Kellin carry some of the weight, something he’d never let any of us do.

“So who won that one?” Kellin asked.

“Everyone but Tone! Including Gabi!” Jaime yelled. We all laughed as Tony shelled out the cash.

“What can I say, I thought you and Jaime would be super cute.” Vic and Kellin burst into laughter.

“Well I’m glad that never happened,” Kellin said as he wrapped his arm around Vic’s shoulders. My brother leaned his head onto Kell’s shoulder. A collective “aww” came from the table which caused the two of them to flip us off.

“In other news, homecoming is coming up.” We all smiled at Jaime’s statement. Homecoming was a big deal in Texas so obviously it was a big deal to whatever school had a football team. At SMU there was this thing at the end of homecoming week, a block party. The Friday before the game there would be a huge party in the middle of campus. The university paid people to perform; usually they were lowkey bands. Vic put our name into the ring and Kellin did the same with his band.

“Who do you think’s gonna get the spot?” Brandon asked.

“You already know B, the PTV boys are gonna kick those Sirens’ asses.” Jaime punched his palm afterwards while looking at Kellin.

“Honestly, I don’t really care,” Vic said, giving Jaime a look. “If we get it then yeah, it’ll be a great opportunity but we’re not in competition. Whoever gets it gets it.” He squeezed Kellin’s hand and smiled at him.

“Well I think you both will get it,” Kay said. “They need to fill an entire night with music so why not?”

“If that’s the case then maybe our bands should get to practicing.” I nodded at Tony’s statement.

“One rule though,” I added, “neither band is allowed to listen to the other one until the block party.”

“Well then I guess I’m disqualified. I’ve already listened to you guys perform.”

“Well Mr. Quinn, we have some shit you’ve never heard,” Jaime said with a wink.

“Yeah well you guys have never heard our shit.”

“Okay ladies, calm down,” Kay interjected. “How about both bands agree not to listen to the other’s practices until the block party. There are no disqualifications.” We all nodded.

“Fine, but you can’t listen to us either.” She shot me a look.

“Why can’t I?”

“It’s the same principle Kellin and Vic have to go through,” Tony answered. “If they can’t listen to their boyfriend’s band then neither can you.” She huffed but agreed. Brandon even volunteered to sacrifice his listening privileges too so Kay wouldn’t feel left out and promised to get Gabi to go along with it too.

It was settled: both bands would have four weeks of uninterrupted practice. God I hope we can make it

Notes