Sharpen Your Teeth And Bite As Hard As You Want
This Is A Wasteland, My Only Retreat
When I woke up in Vics arms my smile was almost up to my eyes. Everything felt perfect. I looked over at Kellin who was cuddled up with Jaime on the couch next to us. I giggled at the sight. "I love hearing you giggle" I heard Vic whisper into my ear. I turned around and looked at him. He had a smile on his face. I had never seen him smile so much. He leaned down and kissed my lips gently. "WHOA, MY EYES!" Jaime screamed and covered his eyes. I groaned and sat up. I rubbed my eyes and looked around at the carnage that was in the room. "Shit" I said with my eyes widdening to the mess.
There was pizza everywhere. All over the floor and carpet. The once white walls were covered in food stains, alcohol and makeup. There were feathers everywhere and bottles lying on the ground. Jeremy was lying sleeping on one bed with Taylor M, Austin and Jack. Taylor was lying on the floor next to the bed. Zack and Rian were sleeping on the floor inbetween the beds. Tay, Alex, Jenna and Tony were sleeping on the other bed. There was a lot of other people just lying around. "Guys..." I said. No one moved. "GUYS!" I shouted. People began sitting up.
"What?" Jack asked grabbing his head. He looked at the mess and everyone else began to see the problem. "What do we do?" Jenna asked. "Tidy as much as we can" Alex said standing up. I nodded and we all began to tidy things. Eventually we had cleared the floor but there were still a lot of feathers around. The walls were still covered in food and booze. "Okay we can just check out okay. We left the room like we found it okay" Jaime said to us all. Everyone nodded but I felt a little bad. Someone was gonna find this and either we would get in trouble or our tour managers would.
We all changed into normal clothes quickly. I didn't eveb think I just stripped infront of everyone and put on my jeans and shirt. As I was pulling my shirt over my head I noticed everyone stop. I looked up and seen everyone staring at me. "What? Come on I bet everyone in this room has seen my tits. They were all over the internet" I laughed as I straightened myself out. I walked past a lot of gaping mouths and opened the door to leave.
Everyone was ready to go and we all decided to go to the bus. We were going to the venue to stay for the night. We made it to the buses and were on our way. Jeremy and Taylor both went to their bunks and slept. I decided to do the same.
I woke up to someone saying my name. "Hayley... Hayley" I opened my eyes and seen Vic sitting on the edge of my bunk. I smiled at him and he pushed hair out of my face. I looked at him and studied his features. His brown eyes. His beautiful smile. His cute nose ring. I sat up and he kissed my forehead. "Wakey wakey sleepyhead" He said against my forehead. "I'm awake" I said sleepily. "What do you wanna do for the rest of the day?" He asked as I pulled away. "I don't know, watch movies?" I asked. He nodded and grabbed my hand. "Let's go to my bus, Tony is watching Despicable Me" Vic said standing up. "I love that movie" I grinned and pushed by him.
I ran onto the PTV bus and seen Tony watching the movie. I ran to the couch and jumped down next to him. "Hey" He smiled and I looked at him. "Hey Turtle" I grinned. I laughed at the minons because they were so funny. Vic eventually walked on the bus. He seen me laughing and raised an eyebrow. "I just got off the phone with John. The hotel were pissed at how the room was left. He dealt with it but we aint allowed to stay there again" Vic said sitting next to me. "That's just great" I sighed. "Plenty more hotels around here" Tony said not looking away from the TV. We watched the movie and then onto Madagascar, then the second one and finally the third one. I began to feel sleepy and drifted off to sleep.
I was beginning to wake up when I heard voices talking. "No, she doesn't know. She won't know. Okay. Yeah. i'll be there in 20 minutes then" I opened an eye and seen Vic standing with his back to me. He sighed and put his phone on the counter. He walked into the back of the bus and I got a thought. I jumped up and grabbed his phone and checked who he last called. The four letters I did not want to see flashed up on the screen. Cara. My heart began beating so fast. "Guys I'm going out for a walk. I'll bring back food. Tell Hayles when she wakes" I heard Vic shout. I threw his phone down and pretended to be asleep again.
He walked out the bus and off to meet his whore. I felt sick. Tears began to fill my eyes and I sat up. Tony walked infront of me and seen me sit up with my head in my hands. "Hayles" Tony asked. "You crying?" He asked. I looked up and began crying my eyes out. He came over and sat beside me. He tried to hug me but I pushed him away and got up and ran off the bus. I ran and ran. I didn't know where I was but I walked into a liquor store and bought a bottle of Jack Daniels. I walked to a park that was nearby and and drank half of the bottle in one go. I cried as it burned my throat. I pulled out my phone and dialed his number.
"Hey babe what's up?" His cheery voice answer through the phone. "Where did you go?" I said with a shaky voice. "I went for a walk Hayley" He said sternly. "I don't believe you" I said with a sigh. "Why?" He asked. "BECAUSE YOU'RE WITH CARA AREN'T YOU" I screamed down the phone. There was no reply. He just hung up. I pushed my phone in my pocket and drank more of the alcohol in my hand. I drank until I passed out.
"Hayley where are you?" I heard a voice coming from my phone. I didn't even remember answering my phone. "Who's this?" I asked. "It's Tony, Hayles where are you?" He said worriedly. "Um some park. Oh a bridge. I'm gonna go sit on it" I said with a happy tone. "No Hayley stay away from it" He shouted. "Tony don't shout. I'm going to the bridge bye" I said ending the call. I somehow managed to pull myself off the ground and stumbled over to this bridge.
As I stood on the edge of the bridge I thought of everything I had done in my life. Everyone always seen me as the perfect little girl that runs Paramore. No I'm in a band with my best friends. I love them. We are a fucking team but no one listens. 'Hayley & co' they always say. No its PARAMORE. I took another swig from the bottle. It was finally done so I let it fall off the bridge and down the big drop into the water below. I was never a suicidal person. I always believed things got better. Maybe not always though. I closed my eyes and took a breath.
"I close my eyes and take a breath real slow" I sung blissfully. "Hayley!" Was the last thing I heard as I turned to see Vic, Jaime, Taylor, Mike Jeremy and Tony run towards me. I lost my balance and suddenly I was falling backwards. I closed my eyes and waited for the water to engulf me. The last thing I seen before the blackness hit me was Vics face as he leaned over the bridge. The sadness in his eyes. The darkness welcomed me and I welcomed it.
There was pizza everywhere. All over the floor and carpet. The once white walls were covered in food stains, alcohol and makeup. There were feathers everywhere and bottles lying on the ground. Jeremy was lying sleeping on one bed with Taylor M, Austin and Jack. Taylor was lying on the floor next to the bed. Zack and Rian were sleeping on the floor inbetween the beds. Tay, Alex, Jenna and Tony were sleeping on the other bed. There was a lot of other people just lying around. "Guys..." I said. No one moved. "GUYS!" I shouted. People began sitting up.
"What?" Jack asked grabbing his head. He looked at the mess and everyone else began to see the problem. "What do we do?" Jenna asked. "Tidy as much as we can" Alex said standing up. I nodded and we all began to tidy things. Eventually we had cleared the floor but there were still a lot of feathers around. The walls were still covered in food and booze. "Okay we can just check out okay. We left the room like we found it okay" Jaime said to us all. Everyone nodded but I felt a little bad. Someone was gonna find this and either we would get in trouble or our tour managers would.
We all changed into normal clothes quickly. I didn't eveb think I just stripped infront of everyone and put on my jeans and shirt. As I was pulling my shirt over my head I noticed everyone stop. I looked up and seen everyone staring at me. "What? Come on I bet everyone in this room has seen my tits. They were all over the internet" I laughed as I straightened myself out. I walked past a lot of gaping mouths and opened the door to leave.
Everyone was ready to go and we all decided to go to the bus. We were going to the venue to stay for the night. We made it to the buses and were on our way. Jeremy and Taylor both went to their bunks and slept. I decided to do the same.
I woke up to someone saying my name. "Hayley... Hayley" I opened my eyes and seen Vic sitting on the edge of my bunk. I smiled at him and he pushed hair out of my face. I looked at him and studied his features. His brown eyes. His beautiful smile. His cute nose ring. I sat up and he kissed my forehead. "Wakey wakey sleepyhead" He said against my forehead. "I'm awake" I said sleepily. "What do you wanna do for the rest of the day?" He asked as I pulled away. "I don't know, watch movies?" I asked. He nodded and grabbed my hand. "Let's go to my bus, Tony is watching Despicable Me" Vic said standing up. "I love that movie" I grinned and pushed by him.
I ran onto the PTV bus and seen Tony watching the movie. I ran to the couch and jumped down next to him. "Hey" He smiled and I looked at him. "Hey Turtle" I grinned. I laughed at the minons because they were so funny. Vic eventually walked on the bus. He seen me laughing and raised an eyebrow. "I just got off the phone with John. The hotel were pissed at how the room was left. He dealt with it but we aint allowed to stay there again" Vic said sitting next to me. "That's just great" I sighed. "Plenty more hotels around here" Tony said not looking away from the TV. We watched the movie and then onto Madagascar, then the second one and finally the third one. I began to feel sleepy and drifted off to sleep.
I was beginning to wake up when I heard voices talking. "No, she doesn't know. She won't know. Okay. Yeah. i'll be there in 20 minutes then" I opened an eye and seen Vic standing with his back to me. He sighed and put his phone on the counter. He walked into the back of the bus and I got a thought. I jumped up and grabbed his phone and checked who he last called. The four letters I did not want to see flashed up on the screen. Cara. My heart began beating so fast. "Guys I'm going out for a walk. I'll bring back food. Tell Hayles when she wakes" I heard Vic shout. I threw his phone down and pretended to be asleep again.
He walked out the bus and off to meet his whore. I felt sick. Tears began to fill my eyes and I sat up. Tony walked infront of me and seen me sit up with my head in my hands. "Hayles" Tony asked. "You crying?" He asked. I looked up and began crying my eyes out. He came over and sat beside me. He tried to hug me but I pushed him away and got up and ran off the bus. I ran and ran. I didn't know where I was but I walked into a liquor store and bought a bottle of Jack Daniels. I walked to a park that was nearby and and drank half of the bottle in one go. I cried as it burned my throat. I pulled out my phone and dialed his number.
"Hey babe what's up?" His cheery voice answer through the phone. "Where did you go?" I said with a shaky voice. "I went for a walk Hayley" He said sternly. "I don't believe you" I said with a sigh. "Why?" He asked. "BECAUSE YOU'RE WITH CARA AREN'T YOU" I screamed down the phone. There was no reply. He just hung up. I pushed my phone in my pocket and drank more of the alcohol in my hand. I drank until I passed out.
"Hayley where are you?" I heard a voice coming from my phone. I didn't even remember answering my phone. "Who's this?" I asked. "It's Tony, Hayles where are you?" He said worriedly. "Um some park. Oh a bridge. I'm gonna go sit on it" I said with a happy tone. "No Hayley stay away from it" He shouted. "Tony don't shout. I'm going to the bridge bye" I said ending the call. I somehow managed to pull myself off the ground and stumbled over to this bridge.
As I stood on the edge of the bridge I thought of everything I had done in my life. Everyone always seen me as the perfect little girl that runs Paramore. No I'm in a band with my best friends. I love them. We are a fucking team but no one listens. 'Hayley & co' they always say. No its PARAMORE. I took another swig from the bottle. It was finally done so I let it fall off the bridge and down the big drop into the water below. I was never a suicidal person. I always believed things got better. Maybe not always though. I closed my eyes and took a breath.
"I close my eyes and take a breath real slow" I sung blissfully. "Hayley!" Was the last thing I heard as I turned to see Vic, Jaime, Taylor, Mike Jeremy and Tony run towards me. I lost my balance and suddenly I was falling backwards. I closed my eyes and waited for the water to engulf me. The last thing I seen before the blackness hit me was Vics face as he leaned over the bridge. The sadness in his eyes. The darkness welcomed me and I welcomed it.
11/29/13