The Diary (Sequal To The Pact)
Karma never really seemed to spare me. Everything I did always came back at me with a crashing speed. I always envied those people that got away with everything. People that were always lucky and life just seemed to be easy for them. Maybe they were just better people than me and that was why they barely got any karma.
I looked around the room of people who were all looking at me with confused looks. It kind of seemed like an old, buried bomb had gone off, even though I thought I had buried it deep.
I never wanted this situation to unfold. Thinking back at it, I didn’t know how I would ever think I could’ve gotten away with this. It maybe sounds kind of stupid, but I just sort of hoped that it would solve itself. Maybe that was why I never solved anything, because things don’t solve themselves.
Danielle turned her head towards Vic. Her face honestly looked the most confused out of all of them. It looked like she was slowly putting the puzzle pieces together, but didn’t think it looked like the picture on the box. “Yes…I know her from working on the Rise Against album two years ago. We’ve met up a few times, but then grew apart again.” She said slowly and her eyes moved from Vic to me, from me to Vic and back.
Vic opened his mouth and closed it again. He put up his hand, but lowered it again. “You never made the link?” Vic asked, still a bit angry, but not necessarily at her. He was mad at me, because he knew now that his girlfriend didn’t know anything either. She was just as clueless as he was. “The English accent, brown hair, blue eyes…”
Danielle then looked over at me and her mouth fell open. “You’re the Luna from the stories. The one that is producing the album…You’re his ex.” She said and betrayal washed over her face. It was heartbreaking to see, but I never meant to hurt her. The only reason why I didn’t tell her back then, was because I didn’t want to see her hurt. But I guess hurting the people you love is unavoidable in life. It just happens, no matter how hard we try to prevent it. To me it seemed like the harder I tried not to hurt people, the more I did hurt them.
I didn’t want to say anything to blow this situation up even more, so I just nodded my head in response.
After a short, but painful silence, Danny stood up from his chair and put his hands together. “Mike, Jaime, Tony, how about we check out that new coffee machine down the hall? Apparently it makes Latte Macchiato’s!” he said and he put his arms around Mike’s and Jaime’s shoulders to lead them outside. He had no idea what was going on either, but he knew enough to see that this was going to get extremely comfortable even when they weren’t around. I was so lucky to have him as a friend. I really didn’t deserve him.
As soon as they boys left, I was left in the room with just Vic and Danielle. Vic looked like he was about to punch something and Danielle just looked sad to be honest. I really didn’t want to hurt either of them, I really should’ve come clean about this way earlier.
The room remained in absolute silence for a very long while. And again I was just hoping this would fix itself, but of course it didn’t work like that now.
“So…Explain.” Vic said, eventually breaking the painful silence, with his cold sounding voice.
I sighed, not really knowing where to begin. I decided it was best to start with the beginning. I really didn’t want to leave anything out this time. “Well, two years ago I got a job as like a personal assistant on the album The Black Market by Rise Against. I basically followed the assistant everywhere so also to the set of the photoshoot…” I started and the memories flashed through my mind as I was telling them everything.
I remembered flashing lights as I walked into an entirely white room. I moved my head towards the flashing lights and saw that there was a white screen placed against the walls. Which seemed weird to me, given the fact that the walls were white too, but I didn’t really know that much about photography so I didn’t say anything. I would probably just sound stupid if I did.
Before the screen stood a girl with beautiful red hair. She wore a strapless top and black jeans, but the over enthusiastic photographer only seemed to focus on the top of her body. Which seemed logical, because the girl had some unusual make up on. Her entire upper body was painted white and black smudges seemed to been placed above her eyebrows, stretching out over her cheeks. There had also been some sloppy stains placed on her neck. It gave the whole image a surreal effect, but I knew for a fact that it fitted the sound of the album.
The girl moved minimally, but the photographer kept giving her directions and telling her she did great. Apparently he already a picture in his head and now he was trying to make every detail perfect. He was bouncing up and down around her trying to find the right angle. It looked kind of funny somehow. In the background I could hear lounge music play.
“Can you please help over there with the catering?” My boss said and I nodded. I looked around the room to eventually find a long table on which all types of food were placed.
The woman behind it told me that I had to pour cups of soup for the entire team, so I got behind the table and picked up the first bowl. There were quite some people present today and the woman was making little sandwiches for everyone.
I really couldn’t believe I was doing this. I had taken this job out of desperation, because I hadn’t had a producing job in a while and the bills were starting to pile up. I was kind of hoping that this would at least look good in my resume, but all I was really doing was doing stupid chores like this. I did leave this part out when I told it to Vic and Danielle though.
After a few minutes I heard a phone go off and it seemed to come from the pocket of the catering woman. She wiped off her hands that were covered in mayonnaise and took the phone from her pocket. I couldn’t really hear what she was talking about, because I wasn’t really paying attention to it. I was too focused on trying not to spill anything. Yes, I had to focus doing that. I’m a clumsy little shit.
Eventually I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked around to see that it was the woman. “There has been a little emergency. Are you good on your own for a while?” she asked, her face looked strained.
Without even thinking about it I said “Yes” and she walked away before I realized that this could easily go wrong on my own. Oh well, it would be okay I guess. As long as there wouldn’t be a lunch-
“Why don’t we take a small lunch break?” The photographer eventually said and he lowered the camera. My head shot up and I saw everyone lay down their work and head over here. I looked around the place in panic and a swarm of people headed to my table. We hadn’t finished everything yet, so there wouldn’t be enough for everyone.
I handed out the first plates of food to the people that came to the table first. But soon I ran out of plates and my panic rose the less food was on the table.
I wondered where that woman went. I really wish I wouldn't have to do this on my own. It would probably an easy job with an extra person.
Eventually I handed out the last plate of food and saw that there were at least fifteen people left waiting for their lunch and they kept adding. I moved between the bread and the pan of soup not really knowing where to started. Okay, there was no way I wasn’t going to fuck this up.
When I moved to the bread to start making sandwiches, I heard someone walk behind me. I looked around with a slice of cheese in my hand, expecting to see the catering woman. To my surprise it was the cover model that had taken up a spoon and started to pour soup in bowls. She still was in only her strapless top and her face was still smeared with paint. I really thought she was joking at first, but she just smiled at me and kept doing what she was doing. “You go on doing that, I’ll do the soup.” She said and she handed the bowl to the first person in the que with a friendly smile on her face.
I didn't know why, but I didn't stop her. Her photographer tried to, though. He was still waiting for his food and was basically having a panic attack. He screamed some things about ‘hours of make-up’ and ‘on a tied schedule’. The girl didn’t care, though. With her help we were actually able to give everyone their food without having any complains about it taking too long. Although, I did saw a man look at me weirdly when I accidently gave him a sandwich with just lettuce. He didn’t say anything, though.
After the model handed the last bowl of soup to someone, I finally dared to breath. I survived. We survived. “Here you go, sir.” the girls said, while handing the bowl. After the man was gone she turned to me. “Do you want me to stay to help you clean all of this?” she asked and she mentioned to all the remains of food scattered over the table.
I let out a chuckle and shook my head. Was this girl for real? “No, thank you. I don’t even know why you helped me anyway. You don’t even know me.” I said, trying my best not to sound ungrateful. This girl might’ve saved my job.
She shrugged and started making a sandwich for herself. “You looked like you needed help. Nobody else was helping you and I was kind of sick of standing still anyway. Believe me, I’m so happy with this job, this band is big. But I’ve never stood still in my life for so long.” she said as she put a slice of ham on her slice of bread. She turned towards me and took a bite from it.
“Well, thank you. Like so much. I did need help. I was about to drown in hungry people.” I said.
The girl chuckled and swallowed a bite. “A bit like in The Walking Dead?” she asked grinning.
I laughed and nodded. “It certainly felt like that. I’m sure I could’ve died. You saved my life.” I said and I leaned against the table behind me.
She laughed. “I really didn’t think the apocalypse would look like hungry stylists and photographers being angry because they don’t get their sandwich in time.” she said “I’m Danielle, by the way.” she said and she handed me her hand.
I took it and shook it. “Luna. Nice to meet you.” I said.
“So Luna, I assume you’re not a caterer. Otherwise you could’ve handled that on your own.” she said. Out of anyone else’s mouth it would’ve sounded like an insult, but somehow it didn’t when she said it.
I laughed and shook my head. “I did music in college. I’m a producer and I currently don’t have a job so when I got offered to work with such a big band like Rise Against, I immediately said yes. Even though I only have to do stupid chores.” I said honestly.
She shot me a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. You’ll make it somehow. You don’t know how long it took for me to get these kind of jobs. Just keep working hard.” she said. I believed her immediately when she said that she had worked hard to get where she was. She looked like that kind of person.
“I know. And until that time I will just have to work my way through sandwich eating zombies.” I said and she laughed.
“DANIELLE! You have to get back! We still have to redo your make-up and we don’t have much time.” The photographer yelled from the other side of the room. I looked at him and saw that he was grumpily looking at his camera and adjusting the lense. Nice guy.
Danielle looked at him too and rolled his eyes. “I need to get back. Duty calls. What do you say about you repay me for helping me by drinking a cup of coffee with me sometime?” she asked enthusiastically.
I nodded my head immediately. “Yeah, I’ll leave my number for you with the photographer, okay?” I said. I really felt like we could be friends. She seemed really great. And it would be great to have someone to hang out with since Danny was busy with a new big job and Casey had gone back to England with her current girlfriend for the next month. I was kind of friendless lately.
“I don’t trust him. Write it down on my hand.” she said and she took up the nearest pen she could find. I laughed and shook my head, but took up the pen and wrote my number down on her hand.
“Yeah yeah, I’m coming!” she screamed back while I wrote down the last numbers. Then she raised both of her thumbs to me and ran back towards the white screen.
“Yeah, so that’s kind of how we met.”
“And this was in 2014 you say?” Vic asked and he raised his eyebrow.
I nodded. “Yeah. You guys weren’t together yet.” I said.
I looked over at Danielle and saw that she had a small smile on her lips at the memory of our first encounter.
I chuckled. “I still don’t get why you started helping me out of the blue.” I said and her face shut up to me.
“Oh well, you looked like a nice person. You didn’t deserve to die a horrible zombie-death.” she said and I laughed. Did we drag the whole zombie joke too far? Yes, we did. But we didn’t really care, back when we were friends we had repeated the joke too much too.
I never really got how we drifted apart. We could’ve been such good friends. Although, nevermind. I did know why we drifted apart.
“We did started dating that year.” Vic said and it looked like he was deep in thought. It looked like he was putting the pieces into place. “You did know about it back then...right?” he asked. He sounded less mad, but more eager to know my motive. Vic was never one to hold grudges for long.
My smile faded from my face and I nodded to him. Danielle had told me about Vic the last time we had met up together. After that we kind of drifted apart. Maybe I kind of helped the drifting apart, though. After that Danielle was just busier with her new relationship and I didn’t really do anything to maintain the bond. For obvious reasons.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Danielle asked and she sounded hurt. It did sounded like a horrible thing to do when you put it like this. I did have my reasons, though. And even after all these years, they still didn’t seem stupid to me. I regret not telling Vic about it, that would’ve spared me a lot of drama, but I didn’t regret not telling Danielle Vic was my ex at the time.
“I’m getting to that.” I said and I started to tell them the rest of the story. “After we first met, me and Danielle met up a few times. Mostly just drinking coffee at the nearest coffee shop and talking about everything and nothing. We weren’t best friends or anything, but I always looked forward to our conversations, because we had always so much to talk about. At the last time we met up, we hadn’t seen each other in a while so we had a lot to tell each other…”
Danielle laughed loudly and banged her hand on the table of the coffee shop. She held her hand before her mouth to mute the sound, but she couldn’t contain it. Other people in the room looked at us weirdly, but we didn’t really notice it. “Now way! He didn’t!” she said, still trying to containing her laughter.
Her laugh was contagious, so soon I couldn’t really hold it anymore either. “I’m not lying to you. It was horrible. I immediately send him the fuck out of my house. I mean, I’m not into role play anyway. But asking me to wear a sexy maid costume… Sorry, but I just couldn’t even take him serious anymore. Not after he also wore a golden thong the time before.” I said and with every sentence I spoke she laughed harder.
Eventually she just lay her arms on the table and her head in her arms. She tried to stop the laughter like this. As soon as she had succeeded, she moved her now red head up and traced her hair out of her face. “You really need to find a good guy, Luna. Someone that isn’t insane, someone you can actually spend more than two nights with. You would so deserve it.” she said, her voice sounded a lot more serious.
I tried my best not to let the smile on my face fade, but it did just a little bit. I looked at my hands that were in my lap. “Oh well. I’m fine like this. I have my friends, including you, I have my dad and my little sister. I really don’t want a boyfriend.” I said. I actually had given up on love a long time ago. It did have its perks, though. All the single women my age were desperately trying to settle down. I had passed my thirties, time was ticking. But I didn’t really care. I never wanted kids anyway.
“Faith doesn’t really give a crap about what you want, Luna. It happens when it happens.” Danielle said and I looked up. She had a reassuring smile on her face, but it didn’t really make me feel better. I had only been in love once, but it had only brought destruction. I really didn’t hope it would happen again.
“What about you? You look happy. There must be a guy behind that.” I said, trying to change the conversation. Although I really did notice she looked happier than normal. She was constantly smiling and I noticed that she got text messages all the time. I really was interested in her new love-interest, definitely if he had this kind of effect on her.
Her smile got wider and a red glow appeared on her cheeks. She giggled and moved her hand over her mouth. She looked like a princess while doing it. I could definitely tell why she did well with the boys. “Well, I did meet someone. But I don’t know if I should let it get any further. After everything what happened with my last boyfriend, you know.” she said.
Even though boys practically fell at her feet, most of her relationships didn’t really end well. Her last one ended it in quite a drama. Let’s just say that there was a lot of yelling involved. She told me the whole thing and I felt really bad for her. She was such a nice girl, so I didn’t really get why boys treated her like that. Al though, maybe the reason why they fucked her over was because she was too nice. It sounded logical.
“Of course you’re scared, Dani. But he is making you very happy. I mean, look at you! You look like a tomato!” I said laughing.
I didn’t know it was possible but she got even redder and tried to hide it with the sleeve of her sweater. “Stop it! I don’t look like a tomato!” she said giggling. “And you really shouldn’t give me that advice! I told you the same thing a few seconds ago and you refused to go for it too!”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, I didn’t meet anyone. Except for a guy in a golden thong. But you did meet someone amazing! Please tell me he doesn’t wear golden thongs…” I said.
She busted out in laughter again and took her hand away. “No, he doesn’t. At least, I don’t think he does. We haven’t gone that far yet. We just talk, like a lot. But no one really has made a move yet. I mean, we kissed a few times, but that’s it.” she said and she seemed like she really did wanted more. This guy must be really amazing.
I put my elbows on the table and moved my head inside my hands. “Tell me everything about him.” I said, making my eyes big and blinking really fast.
She giggled again. “If you promise to never do that again. That scared the crap out of me.” she said.
I stopped blinking my eyes and sat back in my chair. “Fair enough. I promise. Now spill.” I said.
She seemed to think about it at first, but then slowly started to spill details about this mysterious guy. “Well, he is about my height. He has brown hair and brown eyes. He is unbelievably cute and funny. He is like the kind of guy that doesn’t even has to try to be funny, you know. He is sweet and not fake sweet, I know when guys are fake sweet. When they want something in return, you know. He is also a quite a bit older than me, but I think I kind of like that. I’m just mentally a lot older than guys my age and it just never worked out.” she said and she glowed while she was saying all this. The amount of happiness in her voice made me happy too.
“What does he do for a living?” I asked. Although I didn’t think it mattered anymore. He made her happy, so for my part he could be a hobo, I just wanted them to end up together.
She took a sip of her coffee. “He is a singer in a band. I met him two years ago on the set of his music video. I played a part in it. He is actually quite successful and his music is amazing. I just can’t believe how talented he is.” she said.
My enthusiasm started growing. A musician, cool! I would really ship her with a musician. It would just seem like something that works. “Awesome! What is his band called? What kind of music do they make?” I asked. I knew Danielle was kind of into the same music as me, so if she said that they were good, they probably were.
She put her cup down again. “Pierce the Veil. I’m pretty sure you know their music. They kinda are a big thing in the alternative music scene.” she said and luckily for me she was distracted by someone she recognized walking by the window of the coffee shop, so I had enough time to freak out without her noticing.
Vic! She was talking about Vic! My stomach turned around a few times.
Was I supposed to tell her about me and him? I hadn’t exactly figured it out yet. But I hadn’t said anything for too long so I just said: “Yeah, I do know their music. I didn’t know you were in a music video of them.” I said. Okay, so this way I didn’t exactly lie about knowing him personally, but it still gave me a bit time to get everything straight.
“Yeah, I was in King for a Day.” she said and started telling me the whole story. “It was kind of a funny story, actually. That day I was…”
I didn’t really hear what she said after that. I kind of drifted off in thought while nodding and smiling at appropriate times. I couldn’t believe she was actually dating Vic. Of all the people in the world, my friend bumped up to my first love and fell for him. Was this karma again?
I really wanted to tell her about it, mostly because I didn’t want to lie to her. She had been lied to so many times and I didn’t want to be that friend who kept these kind of things from her.
But I did know that if I told her, she wouldn’t make a move on him. She would blow off a relationship with him because of me. Because I was her friends and friends just didn’t do that kind of things to each other. She knew how badly things ended with my first boyfriend, so she would let him go, just out of principle.
Although there was a part of me that really didn’t want him together, I did know that this wasn’t what was best for them. For the last few months Danielle has told me about all her horrible relationship and I always hoped she would find someone amazing. Someone who would treat her like she deserved. And finally she had found that person. I mean, I actually knew for sure that Vic would treat her amazing. She deserved him and he deserved her. I hadn’t heard from him for years, but still I wanted him to be happy. Especially after everything I did to him. This could be my way to make things up to him. To make up for the horrible way I broke his heart.
“You should go for it.” I suddenly said, while she was still telling her story.
She closed her mouth and looked at me a bit unsure. “Really? I don’t know…” she said.
I nodded my head and took a sip from my coffee. “He sounds amazing, Dani. And you deserve amazing. Call him and make sure he makes you his.” I said and I put up my most convincing smile at the end.
A smile slowly grew on her face too. Her entire face lit up. “Okay, I will. Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing this!” she said squealing.
Me neither, Danielle. Me neither.
Vic dragged a hand over his face as soon as I was done talking. His face showed a mix of emotions. On one hand he looked like he was done with my shit and on the other hand he looked surprised. Like I had just told him the biggest plot twist. And maybe it kind of was. “So we’re together, because of you?” he said. He looked at me with the mix of emotions still on his face. “Thank you.” he said almost whispering.
I shrugged. “It’s no big deal. It was the least I could do after how I ended things with you.” I said, trying to not show any emotion. I didn’t want him to know how big of a deal this was to me. “I should’ve told you before, though.”
He nodded, his annoyance rising to the surface again. “Yeah, that was really shitty of you. Mostly because I thought we were friends again.” he said, obviously hurt. “But I guess you’ve never been good with talking about things like this.”
“It’s not an excuse.” I said shaking my head while looking at the ground.
“No, it’s not.” He said and I looked up to him again. He was not forgiving me, but he was putting up with it. Like always. I wish he wouldn’t, but pushing him away would only make it worse.
“I still don’t get why you didn’t just tell me. I really would’ve wanted to know, Luna.” Danielle said and I tore my eyes away from Vic and moved them to Danielle. She honestly looked like she was about to either cry or punch me in the face.
“Be honest with me. Would you have still gone out with him, if you had known that he was my ex?” I asked her.
She opened her mouth, closed it again and then looked away from me. “No, I don’t think I would’ve, but still. I would’ve liked to know. I would’ve wanted you to be honest with me.” she said, drifting away in thought, still looking away from me.
“I’m sorry, Dani. I truly am, but you guys wouldn’t be together now if I had told you.” I said, it wasn’t an excuse, but I hoped it made up for it just a little bit.
She shrugged, looking at a painting of a dark forest on the wall. Vic threw an arm around her shoulder and pressed a quick kiss on her temple. “I think we should let the rest in again. We probably have a shitload to explain to them.” he said, looking at me.
I chuckled and walked over to the door. I took the door handle in my hand, but didn’t open the door yet. “I’ll betcha a hundred bugs that they’re listening at the door right now and have heard everything.” I said and without a warning I opened the door. Danny and Jaime fell over and almost hit their faces. They let out a few whimpers at the contact with the floor. Tony and Mike stood behind them and looked at us with guilty faces. I just knew this would happen. I knew Danny for ages and I’ve been through alot with the other three too, so I just knew they would do something like this.
I looked back at Vic. “I told you so.”
It took me one month to update...jesus christ...Well, I'm making progress bc I'm writing a lot more lately. So, I guess that's something...
The title song is from Lower Than Atlantis. I've seen them a few weeks ago and they were honestly amazing :O. I've also seen (surprise, surprise) Pierce the Veil live this week! They were honestly fucking amazing. I can't wait to see them again! They better get back to Europe soon >:( other wise I will kidnap them. kidding, I know they're actually really busy and stuff, but I still hope they'll come back.
I hope you guys liked this...<3
Aawww that's so sweet! It means a lot that you like it!
I have a lot of work to do at college lately, but I promise as soon as All that is over I will comtinue writing this! I haven't forgotten this story!
I will definitely follow you on ig btw! You seem like a very sweet person!