You can't tutor me on love

Jaime’s POV
What the fuck. What the fucking fuck. What the actual fucking fuck?
And then it hit me.
Raven has dyslexia.
That’s why she struggles with English! Oh my fucking god! I pulled my hair. What am I going to do? I have to make it up to Raven! I have been a total jerk to her this whole time! Why did you have to be so curious? You fucked up all your chances to be friends with Raven and get to know her! You made Raven feel like a piece of shit! I just sat down on the street. There were no people. No cars. No one. Suddenly I felt so guilty about everything. I actually have felt like this all the time. I was just trying to be a tough guy. I just did all this shit because the other guys did. I single tear dropped on the ground. I am a bad person. I am the worst fucking person on planet Earth! I just wanted to turn back time. I wish I never met Vic. Or Mike. Tony is a good person. He doesn’t like it either. Why am I doing this to everybody? There’s only one place I would like to go right now. I just fucked up all my chances to be friends with Raven and get to know her!
I started to walk towards the old tunnel. There’s one thing I can’t get out of my head. Why was Raven in this tunnel? And – what the fuck?? Why is she here again? A girl with ripped jeans, platform boots and red hair was sitting in the tunnel, sobbing quietly, a bottle of spray paint in her hand.
Raven.
Should I go? I even didn’t think about it and I already found myself sitting next to Raven. She turned her head to me and anger filled her face.
“What on Earth do you want from me, Jaime? Isn’t bullying me every day at school, also mocking my best friend and finding out I am – wait I am not going to say this word out loud – enough?” she literally yelled in my face.
“I just wanted to-“
“I don’t care! You are making my life a complete living hell!”
“Listen to me, Rav-“
“No, you listen to me, Jaime! I don’t want to see you never again in my life!” she screamed. “But before that..” she lowered her tone. “What are you doing in this tunnel?” she literally whispered, tears in her eyes.
“I always come here when I need a little time for myself,” I started and I don’t know why I did this, but I told her everything. About that 7 years old Jaime who locked himself out on a rainy day and about that 9 years old Jaime who saw a girl in this tunnel but never got to know her and always came here when he was having bad times. Raven looked shocked.
“Oh my fucking god. That’s it. You are the one. I always knew he looked a little bit like you but I never realized it was you!” she whispered. I had no idea what she was talking about.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I am the girl you saw here.”
Oh.
God.
“I was having a tough time when you found me there and you scared me. I had no idea what do to and I just ran away. I regretted it every goddamned single day, because we could become friends. Heather was my only friend.”
“Can I… be your friend?”
“What?”
“Can I be your friend?” I repeated. I realized I had been a total douche with her and I’d to anything to make it up to her.
“I don’t think so. Maybe once if you start to act like a normal person not like an jerk!” she snapped.
“I am very sorry,” I was really begging for forgiveness but obviously it wasn’t that easy.
“After everything you’ve done to me? Do you really think you can just be friends with me??”
“I didn’t mean- I understand but let’s just- don’t hate me, please?” I was trying to- I don’t even know what I was trying to do. I am so dumb.
Raven started to laugh. What’s so funny here! I was really trying to be- I don’t know.
“Why should I hate you? You are just an asshole, that’s it.”
“But I thought you’d hate me after all I did..?” I was confused.
“I don’t hate you. But I don’t know if I can forgive you.”
“I get it. I think I should leave now,” This was too much for me. All the feelings, I couldn’t handle this anymore.
“You can stay if you want to. This place seems to be like a second home for you,” she chuckled. It’s so cute!
I was surprised. I really was. I just nodded and we just ignored each other for the rest of the night. But it wasn’t uncomfortable or something. I like it. But sadly, I don’t think Raven does.
“Can we just talk about random things? Like music or something? I saw some good CDs ov-“
“and you just had to be so curious and find that fucking piece of fucking paper fucking motherfuc-“ she literally screamed. Anger and panic filled her, I could see that. I hugged her.
“Calm down. Everything is gonna be alright.”
It felt amazing. I don’t care if she didn’t feel the same way. I don’t understand why I’ve been acting like this. Fucking Vic! I don’t care if he has nothing to do with it. I just like to blame my problems to random people. Although he was the one who wanted to be the “popular one” at school. Well then fuck you. Raven is pretty. She has a great taste in music and she is smart. She has a great attitude and she can stand up for herself.
Don’t fuck your chances up.
You can do this.

Notes

the dramaaa
I'm sorry it's a little bit short, only 1000 words but it's very important for the story line. I hope you enjoy it, so far, also comment what do you think and what do you want to happen! there's a lot of interesting shit coming soon!

xoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxxooxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoox *dies*
TheDeviousPoppy