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Naira’s POV

She didn’t understand, she didn’t understand, she didn’t understand!!! But of course I was stupid enough to think she did. It was one thing to be kissing the guy I was dating, but it was a whole other thing to attack me like that. I always knew I was a freak because of my condition, it was just the harsh reality I had to suffer. But Maya confirming it just made me feel like shit. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that I was fine, that there were still people who loved me. However, it was all just lies. Of course it was, nobody could ever love me.

My best friend was a lie, my new found friendship with Vic was a lie, and it was pretty obvious Jaime never actually liked me. Guys never saw me that way, and if they did it was for all the wrong reasons. Jaime was another to put on that list. It must have been so difficult for him to keep up his act after my stupid attack.

Maya… oh god, Maya; the one friend I thought I would always keep was the one who turned against me. I thought she would always be there for me, but she, just like everybody else, hated me for the thing I hated most about myself. She had managed to hit me where it hurt most. I shouldn’t have made the stupid decision of moving to San Diego. There was such a big possibility everything would go wrong, but I always counted on her. She was the reason why I followed my dreams. But it was just a fucking stupid mistake. Everybody always left me. My mom did, all my previous boyfriends did, and now my sister also did.

I had been fully prepared to have a lazy evening with Maya. The messages Mike had sent everybody about her being in the hospital had had me worried. All we would do was watch movies on the couch, and I’d eat all the snacks. But that obviously wasn’t going to happen. She made fun of my condition, so I also couldn’t give a flying fuck about her having fainted at work. It didn’t matter to me anymore.

I was sitting against the cold door, having slammed it as soon as I came in my bedroom. Tears were streaming down my face, taking any bit of makeup I was wearing along with it. There were already black splodges on my, what used to be, clean white shirt from rubbing my eyes. If my throat hadn’t been so dry and painful, I would have screamed, letting out all the agony I was feeling.

And then it happened. The front door opened and closed before a car drove away. This was my chance to get away, to go back to what I considered safe and comforting. I didn’t care if home was a boring city where the same routine was the only thing people knew. At least it was trustworthy and wouldn’t just stab me right in the back. There I could go back to the one person who was always there for me, and I would get to walk past the same old buildings every single day.

I peeled myself off the floor, drying my tears for the last time. If I wanted to get this done fast, I was going to have to do it with a clear vision. I grabbed my suitcase from the bottom of the closet and moved it to my bed. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to leave this city today, but I was definitely going to leave this house.

Everything was thrown into my suitcase. There was no time of energy to fold it up nicely and make room for other objects. I just wanted to leave as soon as possible, to never see Maya again. All the clothes Maya had once complimented me on, were raveled into a ball before aggressively thrown in with the rest. I didn’t care if stuff was going to get wrinkled, or even rip apart, I just had to get out of here!

I no time, everything was stuffed in it. All my stuff from the bathroom wasn’t put in bags before mixed in with my clothes. So what if the bottles could open and ruin the garments? It was the least of my concerns now. I had nowhere to go to, but I still knew I had to leave. There would be time to think when I was away from the shithole.

After sloppily pulling the suitcase down the stairs behind me, not giving a fuck if it would break my luggage or the stairs. It was way too heavy for me to carry normally. And then, in no time, I was outside. Gray clouds were swirling overhead, having darkened the scene. The blue sky that was once there, making the day bright, was no more. Yet, I still walked down the lonely street.

I walked and walked, going slower every step I took. With my knowledge of the layout of this place, I knew exactly where I was: lost. There was nothing around me I recognized, the trees all looking the same, and roads with names I had never heard of before. To make it even better, the contents of the gloom overhead had decided to come down, soaking me. My hair was disheveled and stuck together in thick threads. Droplets ran down my face, making my blouse drip more.

And then I froze. This was the street before Tony’s. I actually recognized the name. How the hell had I managed to get myself here?! It was on the other side on the neighbourhood, and I had only been here once or twice before. My feet still made me walk the last distance to the house. I needed somewhere to stay for the night so that I could leave first thing in the morning. Tony probably wouldn’t mind, he was Tony the turtle. Maya never stated that he also thought I was some freak that was too weird for words.

With a destination to now go to, I was at his front door in no time. Tears were still slipping out of my eyes, mixing with the rain. Licking my lips tasted salty, the mixture having trailed all the way down my face. I would have probably jumped if I saw my reflection. I could just tell I looked like a wreck that didn’t deserve any friends.

But I still rang the doorbell, hoping Tony was home. There were two cars out on the driveway, so I really hoped it meant he was here. It took a while before the door was unlocked. A shirtless Tony with disorganized hair stood in front of me. But I probably didn’t look any better. At least I wasn’t the only one mess here--

“Tony, who is it?” I heard a female voice with a sweet tone ask. When I looked just past the body in front of me, I could see the girl coming from the stairs with sheets wrapped around her loosely… Well, Tony didn’t look like this for a similar reason I did, and I totally just interrupted something.

“Oh, umm, I’ll leave,” I mumbled, not wanting him to hate me as well. I could only hope that the rain had masked my tears. However, when I started to turn around, Tony already stopped me.

“No, come in,” he insisted, his eyes flickering quickly to the suitcase I had been carrying along with me, before giving me a smile and opening the door a bit further, “it’s pouring out, and I can’t leave you outside in this weather!”

I hesitantly stepped inside, feeling guilty for the puddles I was leaving behind. He could have left me outside just fine, it wasn’t like I would be able to become any more soaked than I already was. I was grateful, though. It was obvious he was going to do something else, and with somebody else in the house it most most likely that whatever happened before I came here wasn’t going to commence soon.

My eyes quickly glanced over the girl, and I tried to smile at her apologetically, but my lips were trembling and it didn’t even feel like the corners of my lips curled up. All I could think about was that maybe that was all Jaime wanted from me. He obviously didn’t like me enough not to go around kissing other girls. It was only logical that he wanted to get me into bed before breaking up with me and never wanting to do anything with me ever again. That’s was just the only answer I could think of.

I silently started crying again, trying to cover up any sound that did escape my lips, which were desperately trying to stay closed, with my hand. The girl just eyed me, not sure what to make of what I was doing here. It must have been so suspicious having Tony let me in the house. She probably thought Tony was doing exactly what Jaime had been doing to me.

“Umm… who is this?” she finally piped up after just observing everything for a while.

“Just a friend…” Tony told her, trailing off at the end and turning to me. I didn’t announce that I was coming, so I could only imagine how weird it was for him to see me like this. We weren’t as close as Vic and I were, or Jaime and I were, but now he was the closest person I had. Mike was always around Maya, so there was no way I would go to him. “What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t keep in the sobs anymore when I faced his concerned eyes, “Maya and I are no more.”

Maya’s POV
I wasn’t proud of the way I acted when Mike opened the door. I had never been more fragile and broken and openly showed it. I had cried in front of people before (it was rare, though), but this was different. This fight with Naira and Jaime betraying me had been my breaking point. I was no longer capable of keeping my walls up.
As soon as I was let into Mike’s house, I had been crying uncontrollably. For some reason Mike knew exactly what to do though. He brought me to the couch and let me spill everything that had happened that day.
I told him everything. From the suspicious conversation in the car, till kissing him goodbye and every detail of the fight with Naira. He had made tea for me and the scent calmed me down a bit. Every time the crying became too heavy for me to speak, he rubbed my back and that made me feel a little bit more relaxed somehow.
When I told him about what Jaime had done to me, he tensed up all over his body. Even in the state I was in, I knew that this was shocking him. It didn’t surprise me, Jaime was his best friend and I didn’t think he thought that Jaime was able of doing this.
Mike even suggested to go and punch Jaime in the face and from the expression on his face, it seemed like he really wanted to do it. I turned it down, saying that I was capable of taking care of myself, but it was a nice feeling to have someone looking out for me. Definitely since I was starting to feel like I couldn’t take care of myself as much as I would’ve liked.
It felt like there I had an open wound. A big open wound that Jaime had opened and Naira had made worse. These were one of the few people I actually trusted and even they were not what they seemed.
When I told Mike about the last thing I said to Naira, the thing about her Tourettes, his reaction was a bit different. His eyes became big and his mouth fell open, but his hand remained on my back. “You said what?” he asked. He definitely disapproved.
I sighed. “You don’t get it, Mike. She had completely beaten me to the ground with words, she had blamed me for everything. When she told me that I didn’t care about anyone, I just snapped. Because I care too much. I wanted her to feel the same pain I had.” I said. It still didn’t sound quite right yet.
Mike nodded and his face eased up a bit again. “I get that that hurts. I know you’re only trying to please everyone and I get that you wanted to get her back for that. I’m the revenge type myself too. But don’t you think you’re kind of took revenge on the wrong person?” he asked.
I was about to get mad at him, telling him that Naira deserved it, but I sort of understood where he was coming from. Naira wasn’t the one that cheated on me, she wasn’t the one that played with my heart and threw it away like trash. “I just can’t shake the feeling that she knew about all this and just did it to hurt me.” I said and I made dry sobs. I didn’t have any tears left anymore. “I’m so sick of being screwed over by people. What do I have to do to make them stop doing that?”
Mike took his hand of my back and dragged me against his chest. He laid down on the couch and I lied down on his grey tank top. I just didn’t know what to do anymore. I just wish I could stay here and didn’t have to face the world anymore.
“Stop blaming yourself for everything, Maya. People screw you over because they are assholes, not because you’re not good enough for them. Stop trying to be perfect. Nobody is.” Mike said and I felt his chest vibrate a bit as he spoke.
I didn’t say anything. No, people weren’t perfect, but there were just people that were better than the rest. People that were prettier, nicer, more talented. I was just definitely not one of those people. And I desperately wanted to be one of them. I wanted to be good enough for my friends, for love and for my parents. The harder I tried though, the more I seemed to fail.
The more I tried to diet, the heavier I seemed to get. The more I tried to help people, the worse I got at it. And the more I trusted people, the more they seemed to stab me in the back.
I curled up a bit more against Mike’s chest instead of answering and we just laid there in silence for a while. It gave me time to think everything through for the millionth time again. I remembered every word that Naira had said. The ones that made me mad, the ones that made me sad and the ones that mentally broke me.
For some reason I didn’t really remember what I had said though. Probably because from a certain point in the fight, I didn’t really think about what I said anymore. I tried to get my own words back and I thought them over.
These last few hours I had been thinking about every word she had used to hurt me, but I now I knew that I have hurt her pretty bad too.
I mean, what if she really didn’t know? What if she really was just a victim and Jaime kept us a secret from each other? What if she was just as heartbroken as me when she found out?
I could only imagine what if felt like to see the person you have feelings for make out with your best friend. And I knew she had a lot of trouble dealing with her tourettes. She had always thought it made her weird and therefor less of a person. That was exactly why I used that against her, but only now I realized what a bad person I was for saying it. I was one of the few people she trusted and I basically told her that trust was all for nothing in one sentence.
And I said it just because she pointed out a flaw of me. I felt insulted and therefor I beated my best friend to the ground. I didn’t really think she was a freak. The contrary, I thought she was one of the most amazing people I had ever met. And she didn’t even know she hurt me, so she thought
I meant it.
“Should I apologize to Naira? For what I said?” I asked Mike after moments of silence.
I felt him nod. “Yeah. And you should talk things through with her. Tell her how you feel about what she said to you, ask her if she knew what was going on.” he said. The last few weeks, Mike had surprised me so many times. It was like he opened his sensitive side to me, which I didn’t know he had, every time I needed it.
“But what if she lies?” I asked. I knew it sounded stupid, but I was starting to get paranoid. I had no idea who I could trust and who not.
“It’s possible.” Mike said. “She doesn’t seem like the person to, but at the other hand, Jaime didn’t seem like the person to be a dick, but he was anyway. It’s your choice to trust her. You’ve known her for seven years and in those seven years she has never let you down. I think you should give her a chance. You will see if she lies anyway.”
“I didn’t see it when Jaime lied.” I said.
Mike stroked my hair and before I could realize that was actually quite a romantic gesture, he had stopped. “You didn’t see that because you didn’t want to see it. Besides, you need her, Maya. You guys make each other happy.” he said.
I sighed. I guess he was right. The thing was just, I wasn’t ready to stop resenting Naira. I wasn’t ready to forgive her for what she had done. “I don’t know.” I said softly.
“Think about it. In the meantime we can talk about ways I could kill Jaime. I was thinking about using a knife, it would be more effective. But I guess a spoon would hurt more!”

Notes

Heeeeeyy everyone!!!

Soo yeah. That happened. And now...revenge!! any ideas of how they should take revenge on Jaime? >:)

Okay. So yeah. I saw ATL and BMTH this sunday. I'm still not over the fact that they were literally only 6 feet away (2 meters). I wanna go back!! Just excuse me while I go die.

xxxxx

Nicky