Audrey Johnson AKA Principal: Have you organised everything for career day yet?
Naira: Still working on it. Some parents have canceled and others haven’t replied.
Audrey Johnson AKA Principal: You better get working on it then, it’s already tomorrow. .
Naira: Working on it right now. I’ll update you as soon as it’s done or if there are any complications.

Naira’s POV

I put my phone down with a sigh. Did she really think I wasn’t busy with it the entire time? I had been stressed about it and everything was going wrong. All of it was planned out, and I had parents going to come in and talk to my class about their variety of jobs. But that was where the first problem started. There was no variation whatsoever! Since the school was in an area that was pretty well off, all the parents had similar jobs. They all worked at an office. So, then the hunt for different jobs came, but that whole thing was unsuccessful. And parents started canceling as well, and all I had left over were three parents, two dads and one mom, who would come talk to the kids about their office jobs. Great, right? This whole thing was going to fail! I couldn’t do this.

I promise you I tried most of the options possible; I emailed all the parents of my class, I put up flyers and posters around the school for all parents of the school to see, and now I was trying to find people who could show up last minute, on the internet. Only have people with office come in and talk would be no good. I didn’t want the kids to feel like that was the only option out there! I wanted them to be free and allowed to find out what they liked as they grew up. So far, I had only managed to contact one of the local painters who said he was really happy to come in a talk about his job. Apparently schools normally didn’t want people like that showing up. But one reply didn’t mean things were going to get better, quite the opposite actually…

I had just finished writing an email back, saying I was happy that he was able to come and gave him all the details, when I refreshed the page. Another parent had just canceled. Everything was going wrong, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew I was a new teacher, but that didn’t mean that it was ok to do stuff like this to me! I bet that if it was a teacher that had been teaching for much longer, this wouldn’t have happened. They just didn’t think I was good enough.

I angry crossed out the name on the piece of paper I had next to me and looked up at all the others that were able to happily sit on the couch and watch TV while relaxing. This was all so unfair. I was stressing the fuck out while they didn’t have to do anything. Jaime looked at me and caught my eye, shooting me a quick wink. But I couldn’t smile back, my mind was going crazy and I really didn’t know what to do anymore. I needed at least two more people. But this whole thing was going wrong.

Turning back to my laptop, I continued to look for people who I could maybe help me. Little did I know, though, that I had quietly started humming while doing so. You might not think that this was a big deal, but it really was. I should have stood up and walked away right there so I could calm myself down. But like I said before, I didn’t know what was going on. I was too focused on the screen in front of me to even realise what my own body was subconsciously doing. Without realising, my Tourette’s was playing up again.

Only minutes later, when it was too late, did I finally notice what was happening to me. I couldn’t control it and it just happened, like those many times before. However, it had been such a long time since my last ‘attack’. I had been doing so good.

“Fuck!” I suddenly shouted out against my will. I was never the one to randomly swear out of nowhere, and there was no reason for me to say it. It wouldn’t have made the others look up, until I added more, “Shit!”

Everybody’s head turned around to look at me, and I quickly made eye contact with Maya. Apparently the face I was making told Maya exactly what was going on. I slapped my hands over my mouth, trying my best to keep it shut so it would stop. But when I felt it wouldn’t work, I stood up as quickly as possible, but not before shouting one more time into my hands, “god fucking dammit!”

I ran to the stairs and went up them as fast as possible, rushing to my room while expelling more profanities. The door slammed shut behind me, and I jumped underneath the covers of my bed, grabbing a pillow for me to hide my face in. I was trying my best to at least stop the others from hearing me having a breakdown up here; if I couldn’t get myself to stop, it was the least I could do. Luckily it hadn’t reached it’s worsts yet. I was still doing fine, I was only at the terrible stage where I would start cursing, which was already pretty rare for me to reach. There was no way it would go further than this.

“Naira?” I heard Maya enter the room quietly, closing the door as softly as she possibly could. She had been there for me over the internet when this would happen to me, but she had never actually been there in real life. It wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t know what to do, even though she had that degree in psychology.

“Fuck off!” I shouted at her. No, wait, I didn’t want to say that! I didn’t want her to leave me, there was no way I could get out of this all by myself. The fact that I was making it worse by trying to get out of it, was proving my point. “No! Fuck me in the ass!”

“It’s ok,” she carefully walked over to me and sat down on the bed, putting her hand delicately on my back, “you just need to calm down. Take your mind off whatever is stressing you out, ok? Just try to focus on something else.”

But that didn’t help at all. It only reminded me of the whole thing that started this all out. The school, the career day, the parents, teaching, just anything to do with my job. I still had to figure all that out! Oh my god, I had to go do that before it was too late. I couldn’t just be up here not doing anything while there was so much work to be done! This was important, I couldn’t slack. I had responsibilities!

And that’s when it all got so much worse. I started to scream at the top of lungs. The whole house filled with the blood curdling scream. I tried my best to muffle the noise by adding another pillow and by pressing my head deeper into them, but the cry was too loud for that. It sounded like somebody was being murdered and tortured, which I basically felt like.

Two pairs footsteps came up the stairs, joining us in my bedroom as well. One pair stopped walking before the other and nothing was said for a while, until the last pair finally caught up. Only, it wasn’t just talking. There was some yelling going on.

“Go back downstairs to Mike, Jaime!” Vic shouted at the guy with him, “you do not have to be here! I’m pretty sure you will only make it worse. Actually, you have no right to even be here! I’ll take care of this.”

“Why not?!” Jaime questioned, quite confused why he was suddenly getting yelled at by one of his best friends, who he had been laughing with just a couple minutes prior.

“Oh, come on, you know exactly why!” The shorter lead singer pushed the bass player out of the room, closing the door behind him quite harshly. He rushed up to us and looked at the position Maya and I were in with wild eyes, “what the fuck is going on in here?”

“I don’t know how to help her, Vic,” Maya stumbled over her words in panic, rubbing my back soothingly as if it would help me.

“Help her with what?!”

I let out another involuntary scream. Couldn’t they just realise that what they were doing right now wasn’t helping? I was making my friends freak out because of something happening to me. I didn’t want that! All I was doing was being a burden right now. The fact that people were worried about me only got me more stressed out. I had to calm down so they would stop worrying about me!

Maya stayed quiet for a while, before looking at Vic with sad eyes, “I don’t know if I can tell you-”

“Just tell me so I can help!” Vic urged, watching me huddle up into a ball. Although we didn’t know much about each other, other than the couple of facts I put on that poster, he was still very concerned about me.

“Ok, well,” Maya hesitated for another couple of seconds, but when I let out another quieter scream, she obliged, “she has Tourette’s. It doesn’t affect her normally, but when she is stressed out, it starts to play up again. I have never actually dealt with this in real life before. On internet she only would tell me the things she meant, but I don’t know what she actually means and doesn’t mean.”

He was quiet, not saying a word, nor moving a limb. I could just tell me was judging me. And that really sucked. Although we had a ten year age difference, I really seemed to get along with him well, and I really hoped we would be able to become good friends. But that was out of the picture now, he just thought I was some lunatic that couldn’t control something simple like this.

“Do you mind if I talk to her… alone?” Vic suddenly decided to speak up quietly, surprising me, “It’s nothing against you, I just want to see if I can help and I don’t think having too many people around her will help much.”

“Ok…” my best friend hesitated, but retreated from her place on my bed, “but as soon as I hear her scream again, I’m coming back in.”

“Deal.”

With that Maya abandoned me, and I was left alone in my room with Vic, and to be honest I really hoped Maya wouldn’t just have agreed as easily as she did. This was way too embarrassing around Vic. I was muttering random words to myself, trying my best to suppress it all so he wouldn’t think weirdly of me. When he started walking towards me, I pulled the covers over myself completely, so he couldn’t see me at all. I didn’t want to see him either.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I blurted out unwillingly, ”it’s dangerous!”

Great, way to go, Naira! You managed to make him think you don’t want him here. Sure, I did think it was awkward and felt really self-conscious about what was going on, but I also didn’t want to be completely alone. If Vic was the only thing I could get, then that was what I was going to have to deal with.

“I’m not leaving you,” he tugged lightly on the duvet, causing me to only hold onto it tighter. He didn’t need to see me in distress. If he wanted to talk, then he could do it without actually seeing my form.

I continued to mutter to myself, too stubborn to tell him anything. However, when he sat down next to me, just like Maya had done seconds before, something made me tell him all about it, and it wasn’t the Tourette’s causing it all. It was just me.

“I- I’m failing at everything,” I poured out the whole story to him, astonished I was able to do it with only minor stuttering and no curious outburst, “I’m probably going to lose my job. I can’t even organise a simple thing like a career day, and now I’m left with nobody wanting to show up anymore. And I’m pretty sure I’m no good at teaching at all. It’s all going wrong. And you guys are all concerned about me. I can’t deal with all this!”

“Oh, good,” Vic sighed out in relief, rambling when he realised what he said outloud, “wait- no! I didn’t mean it like that. I thought this was about Jaime, but it isn’t, so that’s good, not the other stuff.”

“Why would this be about Jaime?” I breathed out, any panic I had lost flowing right back into me.

“Nothing. I just thought something might have been wrong between you guys,” he said quickly before changing the subject again, “Anyway, don’t worry about your job. I’m pretty sure you’re good at teaching, for what I’ve seen strewn across the table whenever you’re working. If you’d like me to, I’ll happily show up for your career day. I’m pretty sure I’m not exactly what most schools what to show off to their kids, since a lot of people don’t consider my job as an actual job, but I’d do it for you.”

Somehow I actually calmed down, I was only occasionally humming, but words weren’t coming out of my mouth anymore. It wasn’t that what he was saying to me was helping, but something about the way his voice sounded when he was talking to me seemed to calm my nerves, like he was assuring everything was going to be ok, just through his tone.

“You’d be perfect,” I replied honestly, never having the thought of asking one of these guys to show off their job, “I actually don’t want the kids thinking that office jobs are the only way to go. Plus, you don’t look too ‘scary’, so I don’t think the other teachers or principal will mind. However, it is tomorrow...”

“I’ll be there, don’t worry,” he promised. For the second time, he tugged on the duvet, but this time closer to my head. I actually let go, so he would be able to remove it without needing any force. We were actually sitting a lot closer than I thought we were, only a couple inches apart. I couldn’t help but grin at him, his lips also curling up in a small smile in return.

“Are we good now?” he asked.

“Yes, very good.”

Notes

Who's rooting for Vic and Naira getting together? (I might or might not be...)
Any new thoughts about who should be together with whom?

- aweirdkindofyellow