Hold My Hand & Jump

My brother and I sent his rent-a-girlfriend home in an Uber, and after he threw up twice (once just after exiting my car), I decided to let him crash on my couch for the night. I knew he’d be embarrassed about it in the morning, but I waved it off now and I’d wave it off then. Mike never thought a second ahead, it was always ‘do it now, remember it later.’ He was still young and allowed to be dumb. I’d appreciate the company in the morning, anyway.
Once my tiny apartment was all locked up and Mike was sound asleep, drooling on my couch pillows, I crawled into bed and turned on my laptop. It wasn’t that late, just past eleven o’clock, but I felt bad knowing I would more than likely be waking her up. “Ready?” I sent her through text. Ah, but she was steadfast, and replied in the affirmative within seconds. Her Skype status switched to show that she was online, and she called me before I could call her. The video and audio took a few seconds to sync, then there she was, all curled up in bed. The alarm clock behind her showed in big red letters that it was 2 a.m. in Boston right now. “Good, uh, good evening, Rosie.” I smiled. “Good evening, or morning?”
She smiled at me, laughing softly, and I could almost feel her through the screen. “Hello, Vic, dear. How are you?”
“A lot better now that I’m talking to you,” I answered. “I have to stay a little quiet because my brother’s crashed on the couch.”
“Mm,” she replied. “Drunk?”
“Oh, yeah,” I chuckled. I set the laptop on the nightstand and rested my elbow on the pillows, cradling my head in my palm. “You sound tired.”
“Uh,” she shrugged. “A little. But you know I don’t mind staying up to talk to you.” She crinkled her nose and squinted her eyes shut, an adorable little habit of hers. “Did something happen today, or…? You said you’re feeling a lot better now.”
I shrugged. “I just like coming home after a long day to your beautiful face, that’s all. Best part of my day.”
She made the face again, and snuggled deeper into her covers. “You’re adorable.”
Rosie was quiet for a while; it was often that we just sat in silence like this, just admiring each other. She was all curled up in bed, like I’d suspected, with no makeup on and her hair down. I honestly loved this look on her the best. She was absolutely beautiful all the time to me, but this, when she looked like this, it was believable. It felt like she was actually here with me, like she actually could be. It felt natural. So many hours of our days were spent without each other, communicating only through text or social media. We led such busy lives, too – at least, she did. Her days often ran from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and they were relentless. This was our favorite part of the day, this and very early in the morning, when we’d wake up “next” to each other. Rosie and I could just take a breather, just be with each other, just be during these times. “How was your day at work, dear?”
“It was okay. Sundays are never our busiest office days as far as people actually being there goes, but oh, God, that phone is always ringing.”
“Mm. That sounds awful, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’ll take being on the phone with a rude ass over having to deal with one face-to-face.” Her expression bloomed into a smile as she talked. “They can’t see the faces you’re making at their dumb asses when you’re on the phone with them.”
“That’s so true,” I chuckled.
“What about you, what did you do today?”
“Uh, two of my friends had a little party at their house for their anniversary tonight.”
“Oh, that’s right, you were telling me about that. How did that go?”
“Well,” I laughed, running my fingers through my hair. “That’s why my brother’s drunk, does that tell you anything?”
“Oh, no,” she murmured sympathetically. “So not a lot of fun, then, huh?”
“No, it was good. It’s always good to see them, and our other friends too,” I smiled. “And I don’t care if he gets blackout drunk at these things or not. I just feel bad for him, he’s not gonna remember any of it.”
“Yeah,” she hummed. The blankets were partially covering her face, but her green eyes sparkled in the computer light. Her arm poked out from underneath her thick comforter for a second, inching her laptop closer to her. “Your friends sound so fun,” she giggled.
“You should see them when they’re drunk,” I laughed.
“You’re pretty funny when you’re drunk.”
“Oh, shush, that was one fucking time.” We both covered our faces with the blankets, but I was embarrassed while she was dying of laughter. “Can’t believe you let me keep talking.”
“I should have recorded it.” Her eyes were so full of life, her cheeks red from laughter. Even at half past 2 a.m., she looked lively and lovely.
“If you have or have ever had a recording of that in your possession, I would walk to Boston to destroy it.”
“Oh, you.”
“It would take me a month but I’d do it.”
“Maybe I should lie and I say I did record it, so you could come. I’ll take any excuse in the book to finally be able to be with you.”
“I know, dear,” I hummed; I also nudged the laptop a little bit closer. I wanted to reach out and touch her so bad. “One day.”
“I hate how I never have any time anymore,” Rosie said softly; her eyes were wandering to other things in the room, rarely meeting mine. “I hate that this is really the only time we have to talk to each other.”
My hand reached up and touched her cheek through the screen.
“I want to have time for you. I’ve been saying this for months and there’s just nothing I can do.” Her voice broke, which in turn broke my heart. She closed her eyes and just lay there, the frustration spread very clearly on her face. “I hate this, I hate – ” Rosie had to pause, covering her face with her hands for a brief second. She then launched into a rant, eyes open, hands gesturing wildly. “I hate that I don’t know what being with you feels like, other than this, Skyping with you and talking on the phone.” I wasn’t sure if the light was playing tricks or if she really was tearing up. My hand remained on the screen as I silently pretended I could actually caress her. “And yet I still complain that I miss you when we’re not talking. It’s so fucking dumb to me that I can’t just reach out and touch you. You’re three-thousand-and-something miles away and I’m fucking tired of this.” She wiped her eyes then wiped her hand on the blanket, and sniffled. “Sorry,” she breathed, laughing with embarrassment.
“No, no need to be sorry, dear,” I whispered. “I know exactly how you feel. My mom gets on me about that, she’ll say, ‘how can you miss someone you’ve never met?’”
Rosie rolled her eyes and scoffed. “God, if I had a dollar for every t – if I had a penny for every time I’ve heard that, I’d be fucking rich.”
“She just doesn’t understand, I think a lot of people don’t,” I said softly. “But, the only understanding that needs to be is the one between you and I. You and I both know this is real and we make this work.” She nodded as I spoke, letting her tears of despair dry as quickly as they had appeared. “I know you’re doing everything you can just to get by right now, Rosie, and I care about that more than… well, anything. If you had come home from work today stressed out and absolutely exhausted, and you had told me you didn’t wanna Skype tonight, yeah, I’d be bummed, but I’d understand. Your health, your stress levels, your job, it’s all more important than this. I know you’re giving your all, and I can also see it’s upsetting you.”
“I don’t want you to be at the bottom of my priority list. That’s not how a relationship works. I can’t just give 50% or 75% of what I have into this.” Her eyes had long since met mine, and she smiled and shrugged now. “I have to give 100% of what I have, otherwise it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel real to me.” Rosie sighed, running her hands through the subtle waves of her hair. “What’s upsetting to me is that, while this is real to me, it won’t feel 100% right until we’re together… and I can’t help but feel that my best isn’t good enough.”
“Let me see if I can help you with that,” I suggested, leaning closer into the screen. “Your best is good enough. You are good enough. Good things come to those who wait and you’re the best goddamn thing to ever happen to me so I’ll wait as long as I have to.”
Rosie made her trademark face. “God, I fucking love you.”
“Yeah, I ‘fawking’ love you, too.”
“Keep making fun of my accent, I’ll hang up on you.”
I laughed out loud. “You love me too much.”
She just lay there, looking at me with those beautiful eyes, and a coy smile. “I do. That’s why I don’t let anyone tell me that this isn’t real, or that I can’t miss someone I’ve never met. Like, honestly, Vic, you know me better than anyone here does.”
I nodded. “I can say the same.”
“My sister doesn’t know how I take my coffee but you do. My best friend doesn’t know about the shit I went through in high school but you do. No one knows me like you do. No one has ever cared like you do.” She smiled at me, and continued with, “So I would wait as long as I had to, too.”
My lady knew how to keep a smile on my face. “What did I do to deserve a woman as perfect as you?”
“Oh, Vic, you just exist,” Rosie responded. She yawned, and rubbed her eyes. “Well, at least I got a good start to my Monday.”
I checked the time on my laptop, and saw that it was just a few minutes past midnight. “Me too,” I concurred. “Are you going to sleep, dear?”
“I probably should… but you know I don’t want to,” she pouted.
“Oh, I know. But neither of us are going anywhere, so it’s okay. I just have to look over and I’ll still be able to see you.”
“Are you going to stay on?” Rosie asked.
I smiled at her. “Of course I will. I don’t know why you still ask.”
She shrugged. “You never have to.”
“Shh, I want to,” I whispered, cutting her off. “Go to sleep, Rosie, dear.”
Rosie stuck her bottom lip out at me, and I wanted to kiss her to keep her from making any more sad faces. “Okay… goodnight, Vic, dear.”
“Goodnight, Rosie.” I kissed my fingertips and held them up to the camera; she leaned in super close to the laptop and kissed her camera. “I love you,” I said softly.
“Mm, love you too.”
The chances of my soulmate living 15 minutes from me were one in seven billion. Three thousand miles were no match for the love I had for the beautiful Rose in front of me. As she slept softly, right next to me in bed in a way, I couldn’t help but keep my eyes on her. Even though I knew that I should be closing mine and heading off to sleep myself, I couldn’t look away. I took it all in: her soft, little snores; the rising and falling of her shoulders and chest as she breathed in a perfect rhythm, the way her hair fell about her face, framing her round cheeks. “One of these days I’m going to be able to look over my shoulder and see you… and I’ll also be able to reach out and touch you.” I said these words so softly that they would not wake her, but she’d definitely heard them come out of my mouth before. I’d felt that way every night for the past two years.
Before I settled into sleep, I turned the audio off so nothing on my side would wake her. Shw was the last thing I remembered seeing before I went to sleep; the last thing I remembered thinking was that I wanted it to be that way for the rest of my life.

Notes

so... hi.
i decided to put my story back on wattpad, and then thought to expand my audience and post it on here. i just had these eight chapters (and the prologue) done but the story is coming along nicely and should be updated regularly.
please do not hesitate to leave your comments, questions, suggestions... anything and everything you have to say about this story, i want to know. ESPECIALLY if you see a mistake. if you see a typo or grammar mistake or something that is worded incorrectly or confusingly, please please please let me know. and above all, enjoy!
oh, and, to those of you who are just joining me on this ride: fasten ya seatbelts.

kace