Hold My Hand & Jump
prologue - a flair for the dramatic
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
I just couldn’t get enough of her. When she spoke, I found myself hanging on every word she said. Not just that, but paying attention to the intonations of her voice, admiring the clarity of her diction, fascinated by her extensive vocabulary. She was the physical embodiment of poetry, a book I could get used to reading.
Is something still scaring you?
‘Trust’ was a word that froze my tongue over and sealed my lungs with ice. It was meaningless and empty until we were chest to chest. Never did I think I could let somebody in again but, God, he was so gentle. The icicles that formed my cage melted away; the word ‘trust’ broke free from the icy depths of my lungs – so did the word ‘love’.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
A perfect girl deserves a perfect proposal. The way the moonlight danced in her eyes and illuminated her smile was mesmerizing to me. It’s not like I thought I was going to lose her. I just had to make her mine forever and for good. It had to be as perfect as she was. My entire body was trembling. It’s now or never. Do it now.
The count of three is up.
All of our ends met. We were suddenly whole, even though we never knew we were missing something. It was so electrifying and frightening and unreal all at the same time. I didn’t know much else other than this was real and this was happening. Through the fear, I could feel his fingers intertwined with mine, and the journey didn’t seem quite as hard.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
You’re not just some girl to me. I’ve lost count of how many girls I’ve thrown down onto this bed, and I sure as hell can’t remember all their names. But you – your skin, your voice, your mannerisms, and especially your name – you’re in my head. I didn’t think I could care about a girl like I care about you. But you’re not just some girl to me. You’re a goddamn goddess.
All right, then tell me so.
For more than half of my life, I have been under the influence. I liked the feeling of not being present, I liked not having to own up to my mistakes. You forced me to take responsibility for myself and it was hard, but you taught me so much. I never wanted to be sober until I was with you. I never hated being under the influence until I was sober with you.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
We were so far apart. Do you remember that? I never even thought I’d ever see you with my own eyes. Yes, all of this is so new and scary to us and I know sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it but I can remember when this is all we wanted. Having you here will never get old to me. I will never take you, nor the life we are building together, for granted. I will push through the fear for you.
Just hold my hand and jump.
He may as well have been holding my heart in his hands. I zoned out and let my life – our life – flash before my eyes. When I was younger, all I wanted to be was confident. I wanted to plunge into life feet first. Being afraid and worrying all the time, it was tiring. With a smile, I took his hand. We were starting on a new path; we were diving right in… together.
I just couldn’t get enough of her. When she spoke, I found myself hanging on every word she said. Not just that, but paying attention to the intonations of her voice, admiring the clarity of her diction, fascinated by her extensive vocabulary. She was the physical embodiment of poetry, a book I could get used to reading.
Is something still scaring you?
‘Trust’ was a word that froze my tongue over and sealed my lungs with ice. It was meaningless and empty until we were chest to chest. Never did I think I could let somebody in again but, God, he was so gentle. The icicles that formed my cage melted away; the word ‘trust’ broke free from the icy depths of my lungs – so did the word ‘love’.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
A perfect girl deserves a perfect proposal. The way the moonlight danced in her eyes and illuminated her smile was mesmerizing to me. It’s not like I thought I was going to lose her. I just had to make her mine forever and for good. It had to be as perfect as she was. My entire body was trembling. It’s now or never. Do it now.
The count of three is up.
All of our ends met. We were suddenly whole, even though we never knew we were missing something. It was so electrifying and frightening and unreal all at the same time. I didn’t know much else other than this was real and this was happening. Through the fear, I could feel his fingers intertwined with mine, and the journey didn’t seem quite as hard.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
You’re not just some girl to me. I’ve lost count of how many girls I’ve thrown down onto this bed, and I sure as hell can’t remember all their names. But you – your skin, your voice, your mannerisms, and especially your name – you’re in my head. I didn’t think I could care about a girl like I care about you. But you’re not just some girl to me. You’re a goddamn goddess.
All right, then tell me so.
For more than half of my life, I have been under the influence. I liked the feeling of not being present, I liked not having to own up to my mistakes. You forced me to take responsibility for myself and it was hard, but you taught me so much. I never wanted to be sober until I was with you. I never hated being under the influence until I was sober with you.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
We were so far apart. Do you remember that? I never even thought I’d ever see you with my own eyes. Yes, all of this is so new and scary to us and I know sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it but I can remember when this is all we wanted. Having you here will never get old to me. I will never take you, nor the life we are building together, for granted. I will push through the fear for you.
Just hold my hand and jump.
He may as well have been holding my heart in his hands. I zoned out and let my life – our life – flash before my eyes. When I was younger, all I wanted to be was confident. I wanted to plunge into life feet first. Being afraid and worrying all the time, it was tiring. With a smile, I took his hand. We were starting on a new path; we were diving right in… together.
