Sabrina~

"BINA ARE YOU READY YET??!" Kellin shouted from down the hall "Almost!!" I shouted back, fixing up my make up and taking one last look at my Outfit before leaving out of my room "Okay, I'm all packed and ready!" I said smiling brightly "Your too much of a morning person, Its not even 6 am yet and you have everything on and ready..." He glared at me, You should know I'm a morning person, I've lived with you how long, Plus would wake you up at 7 on a Saturday for cartoons" I laughed taking the coffee out of his hands and drank some "Yea.. I remember" He said taking his coffee back "I'd be studying for exams and you would wake me up 10 minutes after I laid down, AND take my coffee, just like you did, right now" I smiled "But you lloovveee mmeee" I gave him a sweet smile "Yur lucky I do, Now get some breakfast, we wont be at the first venue for 5 hours" I really wasnt that hungry...

"SABRINA!" I was brought out of my thoughts by kellin shouting "Sorry, I was thinking, what did you say?" He sighed "I said you need to eat something before we leave" I bit my lip "Im not a big morning eater.. You should know that" It wasn't totally a lie... He sighed again "At least have an apple.." If theres on thing he never knew about it was my eating disorder... He knew about my past with self harm and my depression now. But never this. But I think hes starting to see it..

45 minutes and one apple latter the bus finally pulled up, We said our goodbyes and got on the bus.. As soon as I got on I saw Justin and attacked him in a hug "Justin! I've missed you!!!" I said as he squeezed me "Haha I've missed you too kiddo" I glared at him "Im 19 now, Hills. Not a kid anymore" He scuffed "Ya still act like one" I turned around and stuck out my tongue "Point proven" the whole time Kellin was laughing his ass off "Shush it, Quinn" I tried to insult him "Lets not forget your also a Quinn" He laughed and I threw a pillow at him "C'mon, do I have to separate you two?" Justin asked laughing as well "Please do" I said laughing hysterically kellin put a fake hurt look on his face "Oh shut up, you know I'm kidding" the bus came to a stop an the next people to get on were Jack and... Gabe... He never really liked me, I dont know why.. "I.. Im gonna go set up my bunk" I said walking through the curtains.

After I found my bunk and set it all up, I sat on the bed and scrolled through twitter, I came across one of Gabe's tweets

@gabebarhama- Ugh, Kellin brought his annoying little sister again. Cant we get a warped tour without her?

The Replys to that were worse
(If any of these are your twitter name, Im sorry! I just randomly came up with it)
@Katie_Marsh- Lmao for real, Ive been going for 3 years now n have seen her each time
@JennyQuinn- I feel sorry for you, Wish I could do something about it..
@ItsShaylaBitch- I'll get rid of her for you!

They were Just horrible and of course Kellin didn't see.. It's times like this I wonder if he even cares about me...
What am I saying, obviously he does.. Ugh why is this stressing me out... I decided to take a nap..

I woke up a few hours later to giggling and whispering coming from behind the curtain "Shhh, be quiet she'll hear you" a voice witch sounded like Vic said "Just do it, quick" another voice whispered witch sounded like Tony, I whipped the curtain open to see the faces of pierce the veil and my brother staring at me "We weren't doing anything" Jaime was quick to defend "Mmmmhmmm" I replied "We swear on our lives" Kellin giggled "You know you always were a terrible liar kells" I said hopping down and heading to the bathroom and closed the door.

I looked in the mirror and realized half my make up smudged off, so I fixed that up, threw on a random zip up sweater and took off those arm things, and walked out to the main area of the bus and everyone was there, all of them smiled and said Hi... except Gabe.. Who just gave me a dirty look then went back to his phone. I really dont understand why he hates me... I put that thought aside and turned to my brother "So whos playing first, You guys or pierce the veil?" Kellin looked at the little paper "Pierce the veil 4:35 Sleeping with sirens 6:35, SO he Mexicans play first" I laughed and looked over to Vic... He'd never go for me though.. "So whos playing right now? its...." I checked the time on my phone "11:22" I finished "Um.... Bring me the horizon is" He said looking up at me "Oh, ok oh me god, by guys" I said running for the door "SHARK STAGE!" Kellin yelled before i slammed the bus door shut.

I ran to the crowd and true friends was playing, I instantly started singing along with them and everyone in the crowd "I'll for get but ill never for give you, now you know now you know, true friends stab you in the front." that song finished and another one started, 15 songs and 45 minutes later the show was over too soon. I spun around to go to there merch tent but who I saw made my heart stop, Matthew.... I tried to walk with out him spotting me but failed and he started coming towards me, I froze "Hey, Sabrina" He said slowly "Please, Leave.." I said backing away "I just wanna talk.. I-" I shook my head and cut him off "You had your chances of talking, but you chose to use your hands instead of words..." He sighed "Please!" He said a little louder "N- nO STOP GET AWAY FROM ME!" I shouted and all of a sudden I heard Nicks voice "Aye, get away form her!" He said jogging up "If a lady say no, it means no, punk" He said shoving Matthews shoulders "Now leave" Matt walked away with his head down, "Thanks" I said to him "No problem, Now hop on" He said crouching down so I could hop on his back.

“Haiiiiii people. Do we have food?” You called.
“Fucking hi to you too!” Justin said, rolling his eyes. Jack waved a hello to me.
Vic handed a plate to me and I set it on Nicks head as I ate, still on his shoulders. Thats when Gabe walked in. my stomach dropped.
“How can he hold her up that long? She has to be 500 pounds or something,” he muttered to Tony. He gave him a look and looked up at me apologetically. They knew it was hopeless. I would just have to take it.
“Do you have your total?” Gabe smirked. I frowned.
“My what?”
“How many slices you’ve had. 20 or 30? Disgusting.”
I had only taken two small bites of pizza but you stared down at it, no longer hungry.
“Nick, put me down,” I whispered apologetically. He obeyed and I gave Kellin my slice. He gave me a sad look and I heard him along with all the others cuss Gabe out
I ran to the back of the door shut and kicked off my boots and layed my over sized sweater across a chair. Next came my leggings and tank top until i were in my underwear.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror as the word “fat” echoed in my mind, over and over. Sure, I wasnt twig thin, but I Wasnt fat. Was I?
The more I stared, the more I could pick out the imperfections. Collar bone that barely showed, thighs that touched, and a stomachs that stuck out a bit. Rounder cheeks and a fat ass.

I wanted the fat gone. And that’s how I ended up with My fingers stuffed down my throat, purging up anything in my stomach until it was empty.

I walked out of the bathroom and the bus was exactly the same as my stomach.. Empty... I looked at the time 3:30.. Then some notifications popped up on my phone

@Jaylah_Fowler- Oh, my god. did you see @Bina_Quinn? Ugh so disgusting gross.
@Lizzy_B- Lmao, I saw @Bina_Quinn at the BMTH set, In a sweater? Trying to hide her scars, Pathetic
@JenIsGold- @Bina_Quinn Just go hit a vein...
@gabebrhama- God kellin's little sister is a cow.
They were horrible.. I couldn't take it, it was destroying me, i ran back into the bathroom sobbing, I search desperately for it, I knew I still had it hidden in my make up kit.. 2 minutes of searching and i finally found it.. My blade, With shaking hand's I raised it to my wrist, I took a deep breath and got about three cuts in until "Ok yea, I'll check the bus one last time for you Kellin, go do you show" I heard Vic say. I froze.

Before I could move the bathroom door opened and Vic walked in when he saw me he froze "Rina.. What are you doing" he said walking over to me "I cant... Vic I can..." I said raising the blade to my arm again making a quick swipe and in seconds Vic had a hold of my hand holding it so I wouldn't make another one.. "Rina, stop" His voice a quiet whisper "Let me go.. Please" I whined trying to free my hand so I could end this.. "Sabrina, Look at me" I saw still fighting against him "Give me the blade Sabrina, Now." I started to shake and I opened my hand and dropped the blade into his... "Thank you.. What happened, Rina look at me" He held my chin an mad me look at him "You were doing so good... What brought this on...." His voice laced with hurt I shrugged and looked away, "I just want to be alone right now, Please" He shook his head "Not after what I just saw, You'll be lucky if I don't tell kellin" He said standing up and tuning to the sink, wetting a cloth "No! Please.. Please dont!" I cried He crouched back down and wiped over the small cut's he didnt say anything until he was done "Stand up" He said turning to the door an opening it I didnt move "I'm not joking, lets go" I slowly stood up walking out of the door grabbing my sweater and following Vic outside "Where are we going" I asked quietly "To your brothers show" My heart stopped and I silently prayed that Vic wouldn't say anything..

By the time we got there they had just ended, Kellin saw us and smiled, but his smile quickly faded when he saw Vics expression along with mine. He jogged off the stage and headed towards Vic, I slowly started backing away they started talking and Vic handed Kellin something.. My blade.. Vic finished what he was saying and Kellin nodded and gave me a serious look... Grate...


He walked over to me fist clenched "Lets go" My heart started to beat faster Justin, Jack, Nick and Gabe all started to follow us But kellin turned to stop them, "Guys, We need about an hour..." They all looked pretty understanding except for Gabe,. He looked,. Worried...? what ever.

Kellin grabbed my arm not caring if it was my bad or good one. As soon as he closed the door he spun around, face stone cold "What THE FUCK SABRINA!" I jumped a little, looking down at my feet "WHAT IS THIS" He yelled again shoving the blade in my face, everything in me wanted to just grab it and cut, But I made no move to respond "LOOK AT ME!" he grabbed my face so I was looking at him "I-i'm s-s-sorry..." I stuttered but his grip wouldn't loosen "I THOUGHT WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!" He yelled again "YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE WITH THIS SHIT!" His grip got tighter "Y-Your hurting me..." I whispered "OH BUT ITS OKAY WHEN YOU HURT YOUR SELF INST IT?"

"You dont get it.. You never will" I said in a monotone voice, he ripped his had away from my face "Then explain it to me" The anger built up in me "WELL MAYBE IF YOU WOULD CHECK YOUR BAND MATES TWITTER YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS!, THATS THE THING, ITS GABE, CHECK HIS FUCKING TWITTER, YOU NEVER PAY ANY FUKING ATTENTION TO ME ON THESE STUPID TOURS UNLESS IT BENEFITS YOU! JUST LIKE IS, IF I KEEP CUTTING AND HIT A VEIN AND DIE! OH LOOK YOU DONT HAVE A MERCH GIRL, YOU DONT FUCKING CARE SO STOP ACTING LIKE IT!" I left it at that and ran off the bus.

Notes