I screamed and shot upright. I looked around. I was on the tour bus. I held my head in my hands and tried to control my breathing. I heard the guys mumbling and then I felt someone get in my bunk. I looked up at Mike. He just hugged me. He knew what I had dreamt of. He had the same dream. Every night before my birthday. I hadn't had a decent sleep since my 9th birthday. I started sobbing into Mike's shoulder. He had idea of the guilt I felt. I'd murdered my baby brother. Our parents still had no idea. I sobbed harder.
"I'll grab you a drink, Vic."
I nodded and let go of him, trying to stop crying. He disappeared and I heard the fridge open. I hugged my knees. Why did I have to push Johnny? Why didn't I just scream at him or run off crying? Instead, I'd killed my baby brother. I sobbed into my knees barely able to breathe. Mike rubbed my back and handed me my drink. I still couldn't breathe and started panicking. Luckily, I was prone to this. Mike grabbed a paper bag and made me breathe in and out of it. I stopped hyperventilating and took a sip of the water he'd got me. I smiled my thanks and he just held me whilst I sobbed again.
"Why do you care about me Mike?"
"You're my brother. Of course I care."
"B-But I killed - murdered our little brother."
"You didn't mean to. I know you Vic."
"I still killed him."
"It was an accident."
"I don't think it was."
"Vic, don't beat yourself up over it."
My fingers found the scars on my arms.
"You know what I mean. Want me to stay here?"
I nodded. He lay down and I lay so I was on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I smiled weakly. I cuddled up to him and yawned. I was shattered. Mike's hand slid up and down my spine and I quickly fell asleep.

--------------------

I woke up and my fist flew out.
"FUCK IT VIC!"
I opened my eyes and looked at Tony who was holding a bloody nose.
"Turtle, how many times? Don't wake me up."
Mike chuckled underneath me and I raised my eyebrow at him. He stopped quickly. I jumped down and went to the toilet before coming back and getting dressed. No one had said anything about it being my birthday. They all knew how I felt about it. Mike hugged me from behind and I squealed. He laughed.
"Easy, Vic."
I yawned and stretched. Someone started bashing their fist on the door and I frowned. Jaime opened it.
"BOSTWICK!"
I grinned as Kellin walked on the bus. I kissed my boyfriend and he held me tight.
"Happy birthday baby."
"Thank you."
He kissed me again. "Eyes closed."
I did as he asked and he spun me around. I cried out and lost my balance, falling face first onto the couch. I heard Jaime laughing.
"Awwww if only he was a few inches over."
I kicked my foot out in his general direction and someone cursed. Mike yelled.
"DOMESTIC VIOLENCE."
"Shit, sorry Kel Kel, I was aiming for Jaime."
"I know baby."
He sat me up and put something around my neck.
"OK. Open."
I opened my eyes and looked in the mirror he was holding. A diamond heart necklace with black onyx in the centre was draped around my neck. My breath caught in my throat.
"Oh, Kel Kel it's beautiful."
I could feel myself tearing up and I turned around, hugging him.
"I knew you'd like it."
I kissed him and he kissed me back. I bit his bottom lip and was rewarded with a moan. Someone coughed and I pulled back, blushing.
"Right the rest of my band should be here soon and then we are all going out and spoiling you rotten, Viccy."
I smiled "Kaysies."
I knew he loved it when I said that. He grinned at me.
"I love you, Viccy."
"Te amo, Kel Kel."

Notes

Everyone is their original age now