I Will Follow You

"Darling, you'll be okay." Vic sung so beautifully to some girl in the crowd. I watched fans scream and cry and throw their hands up, completely carefree.

Confetti shot across the venue, falling everywhere like colourful raindrops. There was something so beautiful about the way it fell. "Can I have that one?" A voice brought me out of my trance. I looked towards the source of it and found a girl, probably about 16 in front of the merch desk pointing at a shirt.

"Which size?" I asked.

"Medium please." She smiled and began to fumble in her pocket for money. I grabbed a medium shirt and handed it to her and she passed over the $25. She looked at the shirt and grinned to herself. "Thank you." She looked back up at me.

"No problem." I grinned at her, seeing a girl so young and happy made me smile. It reminded me of when me Patrick and Vic went to the Neck Deep show, life was so much simpler then. I'd go back to those days in a heartbeat. My mom was still alive and I had so much potential. Neither Ali or Kiera have even bothered to come and see me since they found out I was in fact, alive. My dad is facing serious charges because he wants to take the fall for my actions. Plus I kinda did kill a man.

"Hey, aren't you Vic's ex-girlfriend?" The girl shouted over the loud music.

"Yeah, I am." I replied, unsure how to deal with this situation. It still kinda baffles me that they're even famous. I mean I knew them as the most horrible guys in school for the most part.

"That's really sad, I thought you guys were awesome together." She said to me, a sad look on her face.

"We are both happy this way." I lied through my teeth. I could tell by the look on her face that she didn't believe me, heck if I didn't believe myself then how could I convince this girl. She just nodded politely and then walked off. I looked up at the stage again and Caraphernelia just began.

"Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night." Vic sung into the mic. I stared at him, taking in everything about him that I love. He always looks so serious when he's singing, I love when sings out the side of his mouth. I also love when smiles at the crowd because they're singing so damn loud.

I stood up on a chair so I could see better, making myself much higher up than before. My eyes fixated back onto Vic and it looked as though he was looking at me. "Shit." I mumbled to myself, feelings completely on show.

"Hold my heart it's beating for you anyway." He sung, staring me out. The venue was big, but it wasn't too big that he couldn't easily see me from across the room. I felt my knees go weak and my palms began to sweat.

The last two songs ended and the gig was over, so the flood of people towards the merch desk began. It's a fun job, stressful but it kinda gave me a purpose. It was like a better version of working in Hot Topic. But the mass of people began to dwindle down and my two other colleagues looked extremely tired. "These kids are savage." Drew sighed as she began packing stuff into boxes.

"They are needy but fuck it, whatever." Max shook his head.

This girl sauntered up to the desk, I assume she was gonna be the last one so I decided to deal with her. "Hey, what can I get you?" I asked her. Security began to usher people out of the venue.

"Umm, a Pierce the Veil hoody with the Collide with the Sky girl on it in small." She said pretty bluntly.

I nodded and walked over to the boxes and looked for one but there were non in her size left. "Sorry we only have large left." I told her, feeling super guilty. I don't know why, it's not like it's my fault but I still felt bad for her.

"Oh, okay." She sounded pretty sad about it. "Can I get a tour shirt in small then." She said.

"Sure." I smiled and walked over to the box and picked one up. "$25 please." I said to her as I handed the shirt over.

"Can I ask how you got this job?" She suddenly asked with a bit more enthusiasm.

"I know Pierce the Veil." I said simply, I mean that is why I got the job, they did kinda feel sad for me.

"Oh, did you sleep with them then?" She said dead eyed.

"Umm, what does that mean?" I asked shaking my head.

"Like did you fuck one of them for the job? I need a job and like, this doesn't seem too difficult. I could easily give like Vic a blowjob or some shit." She shrugged. I looked at her wide eyed and completely shocked to be honest.

"I didn't fuck anyone for this job. I'm friends with the band." I shook my head at her.

"Yeah sure, that's what literally every single groupie says." She laughed bitterly.

"Well I'm not a groupie so." I rolled my eyes.

"You've slept with Vic though." She blurted out. I furrowed my eyebrows at her. "Yeah, I do know you're his ex-girlfriend. I ain't dumb so you just lied. You have fucked him and he gave you this job." She sounded so vile, plus she couldn't have been much older than 17. "Just put a good word in for me please. Also Vic is hot, I'd definitely have a go on that." She started laughing. I was so not amused by this. "Oh my God, are you jealous or something? Like sorry he isn't into you anymore, that's nothing to dwell on. I'm really sure when I hook up with him it won't affect the fact he still doesn't want you."

"Shut the fuck up!" I shouted at her. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. "You are a child with an over active imagination and are way too involved in Internet trends. Pierce the Veil don't sleep with little girls like you and they certainly don't have time to waste with assholes with such little respect." I told her sternly. "I strongly suggest you leave before I tell one of the security guards that you're being rude and need to be escorted out." I said smugly at her.

"Whatever bitch." She rolled her eyes and began to walk away. I lost my shit in that moment. I swiftly walked around the table and grabbed her, turning her around to face me.

"What the Hell is your problem kid? Have you nothing better than your time than to anger and upset people you don't even know?" I asked, getting all up in her face. Max and Drew watched us carefully.

"It's just really fun to see someone whom dated Vic so damn hostile. I mean you're right, I'm into internet trends and well you know what spreads faster than you think? Rumours. Only this time it isn't a rumour. You've been rude to me now and that makes you look like a biter ex-girlfriend. Everyone hates girls like you." She spat at me.

"You and your hoard of fan girls can wish and wonder all you want but the truth is, they're never going to want you. It's so sad and pathetic that you are making such a horrible situation to play victim in order to get their attention instead of growing up and maybe then, they might want you for who you are." She just shrugged, which made me more angry. "Now get out of my face." I warned her.

"Or else what? You're gonna get security to deal with me." She laughed.

I lost it there, so I pushed her back from me. "Whoa, let's stop there." I felt myself being pulled back, I looked to see who it was and noticed it was Vic. "Whatever is going on here you guys need to like, chill okay." Vic said so casually.

"Your dumbass girlfriend has been so rude to me Vic, how could you be with someone who's so unfriendly to your fans? I just simply wanted to enquire about a job and she got jealous that I was trying to steal her place." This girl said with an innocent look on her face.

"First of all, don't call her a dumbass cause that's just unreasonable and simply wrong. Secondly, she is so friendly that I don't believe that for a second and lastly, you aren't someone we would want on our team. Now I think it's time you left the venue. You probably have a curfew." Vic said as politely as he possibly could. The thing that confused me the most was that he didn't deny me being his girlfriend.

She huffed and then walked away. Vic let me go and I looked up at him. "Thanks." I said quietly, beginning to feel a bit stupid for the whole situation. "How did you know what was going on?" I asked him.

"Drew text Lynn and then she told me, I wasn't impressed that on the second date of the tour there has been trouble with you because people know we dated. I'm sorry that this has happened." He told me and it was the first time in a very long time that Vic actually, genuinely seemed sorry.

"It's okay, thank you for coming." I gave him a quick hug and then the wave of realisation of my actions hit me. "Sorry." I sighed and he nodded, and then walked away.

I went back to the merch station and began helping Max and Drew pack things away. I felt awful after that interaction with a fan, she was so unbelievably rude and unfair. I don't like people talking about my friends like that. To her they're a band, to me they're the kids I went to school with.

When I was finished I quickly walked back to the bus, got changed into my pjs and then climbed into my bunk and cried my eyes out. My sobs choked me, making loud sounds from my throat and my tears soaked my face and pillow. I don't know why I was so upset about it but it was just the brutal honesty that I have no real purpose. I'm only here because my friends feel sorry for me, they don't wanna leave me alone. It's so biter to say but I have no point to my life. I already lived a life where I was no longer really alive. It's only been two weeks since I came back to reality so it's not like everyone has really fully adjusted to me being alive again.

I climbed out of my bunk and looked for my suitcase. Once I found it I went into it and found my bag with my razors in it. It's so cliche but this is how low I feel right now. I took the bag into the bathroom with me and shut the door then took the blade out of my bag. I stared at the silver piece of metal in my hand.

The shocking reality here is that I can't do this anymore, this isn't a cry for help. It's a raw, it's biter and it's just honest. I don't have a purpose. I don't have a family. I don't have love. I don't have safety or security anymore. I don't have real friends whom want to interact with me. Tony hasn't said a word to me since I woke up from my coma. Jaime avoids real conversations with me and Mike is just, difficult. I'm in love with Vic so much that I am willing to completely disappear to avoid these feelings.

I took the blade and rested it on my vein, ready to cut up the middle of my arm. No fucking around this time. Suddenly the bathroom door opened. "I gotta get my deodorant." Vic shouted behind him. He looked down and found me on the floor, making me drop the blade in shock and fear. We just stared at each other, not sure of what to say or do. He quickly shut the door and locked it. "I don't want to go through this again Scarlett, please." He begged. I watched his eyes begin to water and it broke my heart. I began sobbing again wrapped my arms around my knees and buried my head in my arms.

"I can't do this, I-I can't do any of this anymore." I sobbed into my arms and legs.

Vic slid down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. "There's nothing I can say now that I haven't already said to you before when we've been in this situation. And I saw we because when you hurt yourself it hurts me just as much." He said as he kissed my hair. "I've lived in a world where you were not in it anymore and that world was difficult. But now you're back I don't want to go back to that world. Even if we aren't together anymore, I want you alive and happy." His voice was breaking a little bit. "I would do anything to take the pain away Scarlett, I would. But there's nothing I can do because this is always your run to solution. I wish I could take it all, so much. I love you so very much and it kills me to even think of you in any unhappy situation." He finished.

I lifted my head up and looked up at him, tears still running down my face. It's physically ached me to have him touching me and it not being in a romantic or loving way. I began breathing heavily, a panic attack. Fucking great. "I can't breathe." I choked out.

Vic jumped to his feet, picking me up bridal style in the process. He unlocked the door with one hand and then walked through the bus and out into the parking lot. He put my down onto my feet and the cold air hit me like a tidal wave of emotions. I felt sick but alive. I felt weak but also like I could run a mile. My heart was racing but it also felt as if it was going to give out. I tried to steady my breathing, dropping to my knees and staring at my hands. Vic sat down next to me and pointed up to the sky. "Count the stars." He said quietly.

"1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9." I said out loud. With every star I counted, a steady breath came out in a calm fashion. My breathing went back to normal quickly, leaving me and Vic in the parking lot, counting stars.

Notes

Themes in this chapter really are important. I have felt these feelings before and honestly there is nothing worse, I just hope it any of my readers feel like this then you have a friend to talk to! Don't hesitate to contact me okay! Comments and shit appreciated ☺️☺️☺️