I Will Follow You

I think one important thing to remember when you're in love is that your feet will never be securely on the ground. It's like you're spinning out of control and that person is the only thing that is keeping you from falling to the floor and smashing into a thousand, tiny pieces. Sometimes that person hits a bump and you slip out of their grip. Sometimes they just let you go. Whatever the reason, when you tumble downwards, you bet your ass that it's you who has to pick up the pieces. Not them. Not anyone else.

That's what it feels like when I'm with Vic, there has been so many things that have cracked me up the sides but I'm just waiting for the second I completely slip out of his grip and lose myself forever. Once I crash and burn, I'll never come back.

It's kinda sad in a way. Who knows how much time we really have left? I could drop dead tomorrow, Vic could get hit by a car on the way to the store before sound check next week. You just never really know where you're headed. And right now, I'm so glad for that. But nothing lasts forever and when it rains, it fucking pours.

"What's up babe?" Vic's angelic voice brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up from my journal and smiled at him. He looked so goofy, sitting in his pj shorts and tank top. It's fucking January and he's wearing shorts.

"Nothing, just writing." I told him with a small smile and looked back down at my diary.

Alysha is broken, like she is beyond repair. Knowing that Mike is happy and isn't crying over her anymore has broken the girl to a million pieces. I tried to convince her to secretly come to a show but she said no, she doesn't wanna put him in an awkward position. Frankly I think they need to sit down and speak like adults and fix this dumb mess. Regardless of my previous statement, Mike and Alysha are made for each other. Even if it kills me I'm getting those two back together.

"You sure you're okay?" Vic asked. I looked up and smiled at him again. I closed my book over and walked over to him as he sat on the couch of the bus alone; everyone else was sleeping by this point, and sat down next to him.

"I'm great." I told him with a loving smile. "I feel so happy and I don't know how to even begin to explain it to you."

"I'm glad. Your happiness is the most important thing to me okay." He said and then kissed my cheek. I felt myself begin to blush and it sent my whole body into over drive.

"Scarlett?" Vic asked with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Vic?" I asked in return.

"Where are we headed?" He looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes.

"Chicago, don't you read the itinerary?" I asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the planet.

"No." He said rolling his eyes.

"Sorry mr serious." I said looking away.

"Come on." He groaned, clearly I was beginning to frustrate him.

"I don't know? We literally only got back together yesterday." I pointed out to him.

"Yeah, I'll give you that." He nodded. "But you don't start over, you just continue from the last point. We've spent a lot of time together and after 7 years, the fact that we still love each other and want to be together means something." He looked at his feet nervously.

"What are you getting at Victor?" I asked and used his full name. He raised an eyebrow at it and then shrugged it off.

"Well I don't wanna like, propose to you." He began. "But I wanna now your views on it if I did in the future decide I wanted to ask you to marry me?" He kinda blurted out. I could feel my own cheeks go red, but his were something else. It was cute.

"Well." I started. "I've never thought about marriage a whole lot. I mean my moms dead, sisters ain't interested in me anymore and my dad is pretty much gonna be arrested for something I did." I kinda realised I was ranting. "Anyway who would I even invite?" I asked out loud.

"Me hopefully." Vic winked at me.

"I mean if there's spare seats I guess." I grinned at him, which received a playful nudge from him.

"Seriously though, marriage; yes or no?" He asked trying to keep a straight face.

"If this is a proposal then boy, you're not gonna like the answer." I said rolling my eyes.

"Why?" He scrunched his face up at my remark.

"You're not even making like, any effort. A little romance goes a long way darling." I shrugged. I knew it'd annoy him that I used his word.

"Okay, this isn't a proposal. This is like a proposal of a proposal." He said, a confused look appeared on his face.

"Like a test run to see how I'd react?" I asked him.

"Yes!" He grinned like a child seeing candy for the first time.

"Yes, if I were to marry anyone it'd be you but I'm not ready for that yet." I told him, finally being serious for the first time that night.

"That's a relief because I didn't wanna end up in an awkward situation where you actually wanted me to propose like now." He laughed nervously. I kissed his cheek which made him smile.

"I just wanna get back to being us." I mumbled softly. He looked at me and nodded.

"Me too. I have missed us." He said looking into my eyes. Silence fell between us for a few minutes so I decided to bring up the thing I've been dreading asking him.

"So..." I said nonchalantly. "How did Sarah take the breakup?" I searched his face, waiting for him to react.

"She was angry but I think she seen it coming." He said quickly. He looked away though, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, that's sad." I said blandly. He just simply nodded. Weird.

"I gotta pee." He said quickly and got up.

His phone buzzed on the seat next to where I was sitting. I didn't wanna look but it brought my attention to it. There was a message from Sarah. Vic please call me, I'm worried about you.

The words made my stomach turn. If they split up why would she still contact him? Vic walked back into the room and sat down next to me. He picked his phone up and raised his eyebrows at it. "Sarah just text me." He announced.

"I saw that." I told him honestly. "I didn't like read it deliberately, it was just there and it buzzed and I caught a glimpse of it." I explained.

"I've been ignoring her for days and she won't leave me alone." He frowned as he locked his phone and threw it to the side.

"Block her number then?" I suggested.

"Yeah I probably will." He nodded. He reached over and put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to his chest. "I just wanna spend any free minute I have with you and never let you go, okay?" He said to me quietly. I nodded against his chest; happy but scared.

Notes

So this was cute huh? But kinda odd