So Lock and Load
Another boy Without a sharper knife
Vic's POV
I didn’t know what to do or say. I just walked away. I found my way back to the church and up the path again. Thousands of thought ran through my head. It’s like I couldn’t process what he said. I heard him clearly but I didn’t. That doesn’t make sense, but then again nothing did anymore.
I was mad, really mad in fact. I was pissed but, I understood in a way. Not him killing them, that’s why I’m mainly pissed. But he did look genuinely sorry. What made me mad as well is that he’s following me and talking to me and telling me everything, but what about the other 50 people he killed. Did they mean nothing to him?
He kissed me. He kissed me and talked to me, knowing full well what he did. That thought sickened me and I suddenly dropped to my knees on the unfamiliar sidewalk. Tears fell free from my face.
I think I liked it better, not knowing who did it. I really do. Sometimes we need to be a little blind right?
Kellin’s POV
What did I do? How did I fuck up again?
“Oh sweet little Kellin…” Satan himself said pacing in front of me. “When will you start thinking about other people, poor unaware Vic. He doesn’t know just how much trouble you put him in just by telling him that,” he said patting my shoulder. You’d think that him being from hell he’d be warm but his hand felt cold as ice on my shoulder.
“Please, please don’t touch him,” I pleaded but he cut me off.
“You know Brandon just had a grandchild. Did you forget why you’re in this mess in the first place?” He chuckled a twisted, sadistic, really fucked up humorless laugh. I just nodded.
“You seem tense,” he commented looking up and down my body, “why, aren’t you a pretty boy,” he said as he stopped and looked at me.
“It’s really a shame, Vic would be lucky to have such a pretty boyfriend right?” he asked looking at me awaiting a nod. I nodded. “You really are a hopeless romantic,” he smirked at me. “Brandon, Justin, and now Vic, really Kellin aren’t you just a little gay man-whore? I love it,” he said still with that stupid smirk. “I’m not punishing anymore people at your expense it really isn’t fair,” he became serious and looked at me with his ice cold eyes. “You’re coming over for a visit,” he said and I suddenly found myself in a really hot room. I looked down and my cheeks flushed red at the fact I was naked. Flames licked around me seemingly burning nothing; almost touching me.
“You can stay here for, hmmm…” I heard his voice, “a day or two. I have business to attend to, see you later Kelly,” he said before disappearing.
There aren’t words to describe how agonizing the pain was. The flames slowly inched their way towards my bare body but there was nowhere to move. It’s like as far as I could see there was nothing but fire. I heard blood curdling screams from all around me. I hissed in pain as the flames inched closer and closer before finally licking at my skin. I screamed but nothing came and I continued to feel the agonizing pain all around my body. But I couldn’t die.
I felt two hands wrap around my legs and more wrapping around my other limbs. They clawed at the burned skin which made it hurt like hell (no pun intended) I hissed in pain and tried to struggle away. I looked down at the hands and arms violating me.
They were the worst things I have ever witnessed in my entire life. They were gross and seemed to be decomposing and smelled like rotten meat that was lit on fire. Their nails continued to sink into my skin making blood poor out of it as they began to dig into the wounds. But I knew I wouldn’t die, I couldn’t die.
Vic’s POV
Two days later
I ignored as my phone buzzed the next day. I didn’t care if anybody talked to me, I wasn’t going to school, and I wasn’t going to do anything. I felt empty, hollow. It was like everything was ripped out of me and I was an empty shell that only held two things.
Anger, and sadness was the only thing I felt. Anger because I was mad as hell that Kellin killed them, and sad because I couldn’t really do anything about it. It wasn’t going to bring them back and I knew that, but I just couldn’t be bothered to move.
“Vic, please open the door. Seriously what’s gotten into you,” I heard Mike yell from the door pounding on it. I didn’t answer.
“Seriously, is it that Kellin kid? I’ll kick that little white boy’s ass…” he started, pounding on the door again.
“No,” I choked out barely above a whisper.
“Vic,” he whispered, I could tell he was leaning on the door. “You were doing so well, what happened?” he questioned in a softer tone. I could tell he was frustrated and it made me feel guilty lying to my own brother. But he couldn’t find out, he isn’t as good as dealing with anger as me.
After I didn’t say anything for a minute I heard his footsteps leaving and walking down the hallway. I sighed and slowly stood up. My back ached from being in the same position for a two days without moving so much as a finger. I stretched and walked across my room to check my phone. I had 42 texts and 8 missed calls, all of most of which were from Tony, Jaime, and Mike who were worried. But one stood out. It was a voicemail that I got about 10 minutes ago. Kellin.
I hesitated for a second. What will it say? Will it just be more apologizing? He’ll probably just say call him back or something. Well, it’s not like I have much to lose now.
“You’re probably not listening to this but I can have hope can’t I?” he sounded really sad, his voice was raspy and he sniffed in-between some words. “but…uh, please give me another chance to explain myself, I went through hell, literally. And all I could think about was how grateful I was that he didn’t go after you when I realized I broke a rule. Vic there’s a lot more to the story. If you hear this, which I doubt you will, fuck, I wouldn’t even listen to me. Meet me at the church at 9:00 tonight. Please, I promise i won’t waste too much of your time,” the message ended with a final sniff. He had to have been crying and I felt a little bad, but then I remembered, he killed half of my family I shouldn’t feel bad.
He could kill me if I go. He could not show up. So many things could go wrong, I shouldn’t go. I really shouldn’t go. Key word being shouldn’t. I looked at the clock seeing it was a few minutes past 8:30 so I walked over to my closet. I through on the first shirt I saw which happened to be my Chiodos shirt. I pulled on some skinny jeans. I put a beanie on my curly hair not bothering to straighten it.
I pulled on my old gray vans and walked down the stairs making sure Mike didn’t notice. He couldn’t ask questions.
I gently closed the door, doing my best to be absolutely silent. I quickly walked and somehow in the dark made my way to the path to the church. I was as careful as humanely possible as I went down the steep dirt hill in the dark. I slipped on a rock and immediately slid down the rest of the way, no doubt ruining my pants and leaving a hole or two. Maybe a bruise was left.
As soon as I reached the bottom I saw a figure kneel down next to me.
“Oh my god. Vic are you alright?” I heard Kellin’s voice say. I just stood up and put an emotionless face on.
“You wanted me to come here to explain something. Explain it,” I said crossing my arms as he stood up and wiped off his pants with his hands.
“Uhm…uh…I didn’t think you’d come,” he said. I just rolled my eyes. “Vic, there is nothing I want to do more than bring them back for you, but I have too many favors from Andy, and Matty would kill me,” he began.
“Just fucking explain,” I spat at him. The words felt weird and bitter. I was always a really nice person but I couldn’t be nice to him.
I didn’t know what to do or say. I just walked away. I found my way back to the church and up the path again. Thousands of thought ran through my head. It’s like I couldn’t process what he said. I heard him clearly but I didn’t. That doesn’t make sense, but then again nothing did anymore.
I was mad, really mad in fact. I was pissed but, I understood in a way. Not him killing them, that’s why I’m mainly pissed. But he did look genuinely sorry. What made me mad as well is that he’s following me and talking to me and telling me everything, but what about the other 50 people he killed. Did they mean nothing to him?
He kissed me. He kissed me and talked to me, knowing full well what he did. That thought sickened me and I suddenly dropped to my knees on the unfamiliar sidewalk. Tears fell free from my face.
I think I liked it better, not knowing who did it. I really do. Sometimes we need to be a little blind right?
Kellin’s POV
What did I do? How did I fuck up again?
“Oh sweet little Kellin…” Satan himself said pacing in front of me. “When will you start thinking about other people, poor unaware Vic. He doesn’t know just how much trouble you put him in just by telling him that,” he said patting my shoulder. You’d think that him being from hell he’d be warm but his hand felt cold as ice on my shoulder.
“Please, please don’t touch him,” I pleaded but he cut me off.
“You know Brandon just had a grandchild. Did you forget why you’re in this mess in the first place?” He chuckled a twisted, sadistic, really fucked up humorless laugh. I just nodded.
“You seem tense,” he commented looking up and down my body, “why, aren’t you a pretty boy,” he said as he stopped and looked at me.
“It’s really a shame, Vic would be lucky to have such a pretty boyfriend right?” he asked looking at me awaiting a nod. I nodded. “You really are a hopeless romantic,” he smirked at me. “Brandon, Justin, and now Vic, really Kellin aren’t you just a little gay man-whore? I love it,” he said still with that stupid smirk. “I’m not punishing anymore people at your expense it really isn’t fair,” he became serious and looked at me with his ice cold eyes. “You’re coming over for a visit,” he said and I suddenly found myself in a really hot room. I looked down and my cheeks flushed red at the fact I was naked. Flames licked around me seemingly burning nothing; almost touching me.
“You can stay here for, hmmm…” I heard his voice, “a day or two. I have business to attend to, see you later Kelly,” he said before disappearing.
There aren’t words to describe how agonizing the pain was. The flames slowly inched their way towards my bare body but there was nowhere to move. It’s like as far as I could see there was nothing but fire. I heard blood curdling screams from all around me. I hissed in pain as the flames inched closer and closer before finally licking at my skin. I screamed but nothing came and I continued to feel the agonizing pain all around my body. But I couldn’t die.
I felt two hands wrap around my legs and more wrapping around my other limbs. They clawed at the burned skin which made it hurt like hell (no pun intended) I hissed in pain and tried to struggle away. I looked down at the hands and arms violating me.
They were the worst things I have ever witnessed in my entire life. They were gross and seemed to be decomposing and smelled like rotten meat that was lit on fire. Their nails continued to sink into my skin making blood poor out of it as they began to dig into the wounds. But I knew I wouldn’t die, I couldn’t die.
Vic’s POV
Two days later
I ignored as my phone buzzed the next day. I didn’t care if anybody talked to me, I wasn’t going to school, and I wasn’t going to do anything. I felt empty, hollow. It was like everything was ripped out of me and I was an empty shell that only held two things.
Anger, and sadness was the only thing I felt. Anger because I was mad as hell that Kellin killed them, and sad because I couldn’t really do anything about it. It wasn’t going to bring them back and I knew that, but I just couldn’t be bothered to move.
“Vic, please open the door. Seriously what’s gotten into you,” I heard Mike yell from the door pounding on it. I didn’t answer.
“Seriously, is it that Kellin kid? I’ll kick that little white boy’s ass…” he started, pounding on the door again.
“No,” I choked out barely above a whisper.
“Vic,” he whispered, I could tell he was leaning on the door. “You were doing so well, what happened?” he questioned in a softer tone. I could tell he was frustrated and it made me feel guilty lying to my own brother. But he couldn’t find out, he isn’t as good as dealing with anger as me.
After I didn’t say anything for a minute I heard his footsteps leaving and walking down the hallway. I sighed and slowly stood up. My back ached from being in the same position for a two days without moving so much as a finger. I stretched and walked across my room to check my phone. I had 42 texts and 8 missed calls, all of most of which were from Tony, Jaime, and Mike who were worried. But one stood out. It was a voicemail that I got about 10 minutes ago. Kellin.
I hesitated for a second. What will it say? Will it just be more apologizing? He’ll probably just say call him back or something. Well, it’s not like I have much to lose now.
“You’re probably not listening to this but I can have hope can’t I?” he sounded really sad, his voice was raspy and he sniffed in-between some words. “but…uh, please give me another chance to explain myself, I went through hell, literally. And all I could think about was how grateful I was that he didn’t go after you when I realized I broke a rule. Vic there’s a lot more to the story. If you hear this, which I doubt you will, fuck, I wouldn’t even listen to me. Meet me at the church at 9:00 tonight. Please, I promise i won’t waste too much of your time,” the message ended with a final sniff. He had to have been crying and I felt a little bad, but then I remembered, he killed half of my family I shouldn’t feel bad.
He could kill me if I go. He could not show up. So many things could go wrong, I shouldn’t go. I really shouldn’t go. Key word being shouldn’t. I looked at the clock seeing it was a few minutes past 8:30 so I walked over to my closet. I through on the first shirt I saw which happened to be my Chiodos shirt. I pulled on some skinny jeans. I put a beanie on my curly hair not bothering to straighten it.
I pulled on my old gray vans and walked down the stairs making sure Mike didn’t notice. He couldn’t ask questions.
I gently closed the door, doing my best to be absolutely silent. I quickly walked and somehow in the dark made my way to the path to the church. I was as careful as humanely possible as I went down the steep dirt hill in the dark. I slipped on a rock and immediately slid down the rest of the way, no doubt ruining my pants and leaving a hole or two. Maybe a bruise was left.
As soon as I reached the bottom I saw a figure kneel down next to me.
“Oh my god. Vic are you alright?” I heard Kellin’s voice say. I just stood up and put an emotionless face on.
“You wanted me to come here to explain something. Explain it,” I said crossing my arms as he stood up and wiped off his pants with his hands.
“Uhm…uh…I didn’t think you’d come,” he said. I just rolled my eyes. “Vic, there is nothing I want to do more than bring them back for you, but I have too many favors from Andy, and Matty would kill me,” he began.
“Just fucking explain,” I spat at him. The words felt weird and bitter. I was always a really nice person but I couldn’t be nice to him.
Notes
Mehhhh filler is always really shitty. sorry. it gets real interesting next chapter.(hint, we get to see Matty again!)Thank you guys who comment and subscribe it makes my shithole of a life slightly better.
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12/31/13